I don’t know, I just got here
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Womanhood is so exhausting 8pm: crying 9pm: furious dancing to Chaka Khan’s 1983 hit ‘Ain’t Nobody’ 9:30pm: crying
The glue wants you to reach into their glueussy and take their children
I’d love to! :)
Scammers are feeding my videos into AI generators and it’s a very weirdly dystopian and violating thing to have an AI stealing your voice especially for such nefarious purposes. Be warned this video is disturbing in a nightmarish and uncanny way
Listen just because I’m squeaky and awkward doesn’t mean I’m not smarter than you and also better at video games and wood working and satisfying women
Love when men waggle their tongues at me in public. I am instantly overcome with lust, the pavement erupts with rose petals, a sudden cool breeze twirls in and lifts me from the ground while a pair of doves remove my underwear. The pinnacle of romance
:3
Starting new antipsychotics is always fun because you might expect to get less psychotic but also you might find yourself breaking your no contact rule with your deceased mother
Oh no I have done it again
I’d press my ear to the floorboards and listen to the screaming. And the worst part was I couldn’t tell if my heart was racing in fear or dancing in excitement. after a while, you grow nerves in the chaos. It wraps around your spine and teaches your body to call it home
I like to watch the pigeons do their little mating ritual on the roof opposite my house. I have never, in all of my years of pigeon witnessing, seen a female pigeon be impressed by the male’s silly little blobby dance. They’re so real for that
Killing Elmo is definitely what the good guys would do, right guys?
I love when babies laugh for the first time because they look just a little bit scared and unsure about what’s happening to them and these days that’s how I feel when genuine laughs take over me too
Saw a tiny girl in a twirly dress watching me with wide eyes so I gasped and said “a princess” And her face lit up like a lantern. I think the air itself turned into sugar. So if you’re struggling to feel then maybe try that
Techboy messaging me with the things I say after having an edible again
A convicted trafficker’s words should never be taken as fact. They shouldn’t even be humoured. We should only listen to them for the purposes of education, to better protect humanity against their manipulation. I’m continuously confused at where this world is heading
Shame her she likes to lick my armpits
The internet used to be an escape. Now it’s a bit like diving into a pool of mouse traps naked
Ugh I hate the part of my cycle where I restrain my mate in my mandibles and bite into his head to macerate his nutrient dense tissues for optimal consumption
Very important news! a butterfly landed on me
Sometimes things happen & it doesn’t feel right to share it with 1000s of people so instead I write it out and delete it several times and then finally say something about the trees instead. You know where you stand with the trees. Unless one falls on you, then you are probably no longer standing
The amount of brand deals in my inbox asking me to advertise AI and go to events centred around AI tech is ridiculous what is going on in this strange world. I’d rather exclusively pee in my own shoes for the rest of time thank you
To them, fairness means being allowed to be unfair to people they see as beneath them. Discrimination is only a thing when it stops them from discriminating. Injustice is when they face the consequences of their own intolerance. They demand inclusion only so they are able to exclude others
“You’re just trying to be quirky” am I? Okay? And you’re just scrolling on social media for hours every day and criticising people you don’t know to help alleviate your feelings of insecurity because your life is devoid of whimsy and imagination and joy?
How am I meant to pick a hand soap. There are so many hand soaps. What is the normal process for selecting anything. This world is a gauntlet of impossible decisions and I am paralysed by my own inconsequence in a universe that doesn’t care if my hands are clean or if I even exist at all
Me: Techboy: Me: Techboy: Did I ever tell you the story of when someone mistook me for a homeless girl?
This is my infant
Who decided that describing food as “viral” means people will wanna try it? I don’t understand any of you people
I am bi and I’m attracted to all women and sometimes men that say “jolly good”
10 litres of tomato soup (pineapple for scale)
Today I am the tomato fairy
Clingy kitten is poorly again:(
Tomorrow we shall walk
First cigarette in many years but that is just how it’s all got me
How is one meant to remain soft and whimsical in these conditions
Found a box of old photos and I am a big fan of my how my mother styled me as a small child 10/10
Me to myself before going out: I am covert and sneaky, I will slip amongst mankind unperceived! none shall know my presence for I am veiled in shadow and skilled in the art of stealth Middle aged men and small children: 👁️👄👁️
Currently
I got this today, now onto the platinum
One great thing about having separate bedrooms is that we can still do sleepover evenings
It’s a ‘perceive me please’ kind of day
Just caught Techboy with the neighbour (removing a tick from her leg)
I’ve decided to spend all my free time fully completing gta v because it’s a tad more grounded and sensible than reality currently
Kitten
People just don’t understand how exhausting it is being right about everything all of the time
Did you know that a human can be sexy and also a human at the same time? They can even indulge in the sexy and sell the sexy and, yep, they’re still human
If I post a video tomorrow will you like it? Share it? Save it to your special folder? Show it to your mum? Your therapist? Translate it into whale song? Will you make me a shrine? Bring me your dna? Cry for me? Will you? Just wondering, thanks
I can’t explain it but I feel like the laugh react is what got us here
But is it great yet?
There is nothing in this world but layered noises and itchy eyeballs
This is how it would look if I was about to end a man
Is it a “be interested in absolutely everything” or “I am interested in nothing at all” kind of day
I’ve noticed Reddit bros love thirsting on a woman and then acting disappointed & annoyed to find out that same woman has an OF. Then they will move on to shaming her. Because they want to sexualise women without the women taking part in that, they want to be predatory, that’s the fun part for them
He thought we had a porch and we do not, he immediately was grovel apologising when he saw Techboy’s face
A delivery guy came into the house (he was confused) and before Techboy knew what was going on he leaped up, accidentally broke a candle and grabbed his axe before even thinking a thought and I have never before been quite so terrified whilst also swooning
Ordered a 6 inch sub and got a foot long! everything’s coming up Alice
When I actually was a teenager I struggled to find my place so I tried to download all of my personalities from tumblr but I just ended up with an eating disorder and a burgeoning interest in debauchery
I don’t talk much so if I open my mouth I could be about to reveal an ancient cosmic truth that unlocks the secrets of the universe or I could make a silly little noise. Even I wouldn’t bet on it
So I guess if you post a photo with a man’s hand on your midriff area people will definitely assume you are pregnant. I am not, definitely not. Please no. Thank u
Look at this sealed bag of crisps I pulled out of a multipack THIS ISN’T RIGHT
There is socially acceptable amount of time to laugh at something and if you cross that point then everybody around you starts to look a little terrified like you’re about to combust or perhaps pull out a weapon
Snort
Should’ve gone to the bank but made this tiny wooden stool instead
For some reason the algorithm thinks I can’t get enough of videos of babies shouting at a toy dancing cactus that mimics them and to be honest the algorithm is right, inject that shit into my veins
It’s a shame that you only have to let your guard down and think about anything for a couple of seconds to get depressed about the whole world and universe
I love curious people. People who, when confronted with something strange but not inherently harmful, are inquisitive about it rather than instantly disparaging or dismissive. Being a strange person means needing to sniff the curious out like a truffle pig
I used to be a shadow
Well that’s the one but when there has been other such high profile trials in the past it has been the catalyst for quite big relapses and breakdowns for me so I just mean “these types of trials” in general
I have to take a break from scrolling social media because these high profile dv/trafficking trials are a bit much for me. But I’ll still be around here and there. Much love:)
Having a garden is so wonderful I spent the morning with my bird family
So it’s socially unacceptable for me to walk around without a top on but it’s perfectly okay for guys to walk around with their slvtty arm veins out?
We are here for a tiny blink in the unfathomable expanse of an ancient universe and that people choose to spend their one little blink preoccupied with hate is really just a pitiful waste isn’t it
Sometimes my eyes start the sad crying before my mind has caught up with the problem and so for a brief moment I get exasperated with myself like ugh what is it now
I wish things were better and/or I had a kitkat right now
“Follow your heart” no because my heart thinks there’s a stampede coming, there’s no stampede coming I am eating tiramisu in bed on a Tuesday
Have you guys ever seen birds? Hard to feel hateful when you watch birds. They’re always doing their little birdy things
This is my new kitten look how absolutely done with life she is already I love her
I call my partner Techboy but he is terrible with everything tech other than computer games. He’s like an old dad who needs to be told how to use any app. He’s actually chronically offline and lives in the trees
Writing for my paid pages always involves maniacally laughing to myself while my fingers conjure up, seemingly completely of their own accord, beautiful terms such as “botanical bukkake”
They weaponise false accusations so relentlessly that the claims lose all meaning. So when they start doing the things they once screamed about, everyone is too wary of looking like them to say a word
If you need me I’ll be in my room performing a dance routine to Backstreet Boy’s 1997 pop hit ‘Everybody’ which I learned at dance class when I was 12 years old
Quite tricky to be invisible when you can’t help but strut everywhere you go. Ugh it’s so hard being so fabulous
If you’re feeling sad today you must say “woweeeee” and “zipzooozappity hooboy”. It fixes nothing but I like to control people
Constantly getting comments like “I thought you were cute but then I saw you have an OF and now I’m sad:(“ like, ok? I do not even know who you are, I get sad about real things in the real world but I’m sure your silly little manufactured problems are so hard to deal with, sad face
I love babies. I would happily spend all my days with babies. It is unfortunate that they don’t stay babies and they grow into people, horrible things. Who designed this? Terrible
Is that what you think this is?
Normalise whatever this is
They be trying to shame me for things that I’m proud of
People like that will often possess hugely inflated egos, never admit fault and are so entrenched in their biases that they actively oppose education, good faith discussion and critical thinking. What could possibly go wrong?
When power is given to those who openly dismiss objective science and show contempt for expert knowledge, they will inevitably govern with that same disregard
I am from one county west from here! My accent got considerably more posh when I moved the one county over
The story of the hornet in the fireplace
I knew he was the one when I heard him unconsciously crimping for the first time
Happy Easter idk what’s going on
Just spent an hour filming and editing Techboy throwing it back can’t believe this is my life
Unpopular opinion maybe but telling people to “just ignore” cruel people and trolls when they are talking about them is dismissive and rude
Gonna make me a tshirt that says “genuinely this insufferable”
The bluebells are out