Like, I want everyone to just be able to be their queer selves and not fear someone outing them. But if he continues to make our lives harder, fuck that.
Queer, non-binary disabled artist. Autistic with narcolepsy. I'm pagan and a nerd. I've been on the net for a long time. I voraciously devour books. 🏳️⚧️🌲🌈
239 followers 223 following 920 posts
view profile on Bluesky
Like, I want everyone to just be able to be their queer selves and not fear someone outing them. But if he continues to make our lives harder, fuck that.
That's hard. Bringing it up to club management might result in no action Outing him might lead to being banned in violation of club rules. Some people do clue into their identity later, but if he continues to fuck us over, fuck him. Although, imagine accidentally foiling a RCMP/CSIS sting ugh
Have they tested for intended use vs weird use, re life cycle I.e. i use golf cart batteries to power my CPAP while camping. They aren't intended for that sort of duty cycle / recharge. I know it isn't long-term environmentally friendly, but more suitable options are beyond my means.
I have tank tops from a Canadian fast fashion brand from early 2010s that are still in excellent shape, in spite of being burnout fabric. New, decent thickness cotton tanks that is sustainable brand? Somehow already developing seam stress, despite being looser fit on my body in three months 🤦
The orange pastel sunrise, when I unexpectedly woke up early. It was beautiful and I carried it with me back into dreams as I fell asleep.
I have made mead and enjoyed the process, especially trying to step-feed nutrients to see how high of an alcohol percentage I could get. (I was creating absinthe mead: herbs in primary ferment. Works as bitter, but not what ppl expect of mead) The problem for me is the cost of honey currently
There was a cat outside but it ran away when I tried to bring it some catnip. Otherwise today was lot of sleep. Yesterday we finished the Lego Ornithopter co-operative build - it's the most complex set I've worked on, with the retractable landing gear, folding and flapping wings.
Some people don't know they have risk factors - roommate's first heart surgery was surprise! Your heart valves are failing because undiagnosed mitral valve prolapse suddenly worsened after bad bout of influenza. Their second heart surgery was after minor stroke from round two of COVID
My high risk is directly from getting sick 2001 from a vaccine preventable virus Ifluenza vaccination wasn't available to everyone, "just a cold" going around my school was influenza. I developed pneumonia and a high fever and from their narcolepsy. Various people are high risk after COVID
That's dependent on where you live and other factors. In Ontario, Canada much more likely to experience a stroke from COVID than experience a gunshot wound. 🤷♂️
Not ending up sick every few weeks while we had two years of masking requirements was a gift. Unfortunately, roommate, who has now had heart surgery round two after third round of COVID, still won't mask at office (coworkers with small children) or out anywhere. I hate being this sick again.
I got my teeth cleaned the week my province dropped masking requirements. And COVID rnd 1 (Another hygienist came unmasked into room during cleaning. I tried to call my anxiety. Then she started coughing. Then I get call two days after I tested positive that there was potential exposure at office)
Vaccination doesn't eliminate asymptomatic spread to others. Masking does help reduce concentration of viral particles. Both reduce severity of it Roommate brought it home, twice, because they wouldn't mask even when they "just had the sniffles" My immunocompromised self now has long COVID again
Also! Long handled wooden spoon when releasing quick release pressure valve, to avoid scalding or burns. Yeah, it seems logical when you're not cooking, but at some point you may be inclined to just reach for the valve with hands, so make habit with spoon and don't do as I did 😂
Welcome to handy appliance! A kitchen scale can be handy for being able to chuck in frozen meat and have it properly cook A spare set of sealing rings can be useful - they eventually wear out, although i rotate between my original stained from making elderberry syrup with turmeric, and two others
I was wondering about that last night as well, but got distracted into going to sleep before I tried looking
So many. 😬 It's gross, as someone who sometimes cleans bathrooms in the woods at festivals. Because even if they manage not to touch themself, they've almost always touched a wall or door or surface, and who knows what contact it has had since last cleaning. Wash your hands 🧼 and elbow the door
I wish Canada could be conceptual safe haven. Reality: the conservative party here likes the cruelty and wants to bring in similar. There has been stuff raised in parliament of foreign interference. We're also dealing with housing issues and difficulty getting family doctors in at least Ontario.
As a Canadian, the progression to threatening anyone gender non-conforming (in regime's view) with imprisonment or reprogramming camps -- is why I haven't been back to see my partner since I flew home in April. Because it felt a question of when. It absolutely sucks beyond words.
Also *gestures at US news and various "hey maybe pretend not to be trans" stuff* Fuck no. I had advantage of being offline most of the day to not see any of it until after. To not hear pundits discussing and theorizing. Saw a good analysis of shooter "esoterica without center" for clout.
Also hard: had plans that I -had- to go dissemble my seasonal camping setup this weekend (because roommate cataract surgery next weekend) Hard deadline now gone. There is an event with amazing workshops!! But someone needs help moving. And then I paid credit cards off and no go.
brain is having difficulty focusing today. Roommate had entire bag of mothballs in skirt bin yesterday The mothballs now sealed in jar, and i delirious lectured them last night on how much naphthalene can fuck us up. And appropriate ratio. And that mothballs aren't actually effective deterrent
My phone making space for an update uninstalled FB a few months back. I've been calmer. I am missing out on local event invites. I am not seeing when friends list has emergencies. But, I am also not being hit with endless ads, suggested content that is rage bait, etc.
I want us to be safe haven for all my trans siblings, while very aware of how close our last election was. We're vulnerable to foreign interference, and public can be swayed in lockstep with media coverage of stuff going on w y'all, because most of our news companies are now owned by American corps
We're about 5 years behind y'all on the active hate, driven by a few factions, but politically, our Conservative party is the threat. They went from fiscal conservative, rational, to emulating post Tea Party Republicans when they amalgamated with Wild Rose party / western separatism
Spent time with a friend I haven't seen in a few years. She told me I look the healthiest and happiest she has ever seen me, since we first met in 2009. I am so grateful I started T in February. Yes, the world absolutely sucks. Yes, it's not always safe to be openly myself. But I get to be me.
Friends (undefined more) and I have been friends for years. I had told partner before festival that I didn't think I had the energy to put in effort to date and get to know someone new. Jokes on me, years of friendly flirting turned more. 🥰
In the early aughts, I volunteered with policy violation administration on deviantART. There were lot of suicidal users posting journal entries. Stuff got flagged for review then. vs now letting chatbot help someone plan suicide -- significant consequences are needed. It doesn't bring him back.
Still very much in love with my long-distance partner who I am hoping can come live here sooner than later. They're aware, and have been kept informed along the way. They knew before we got together that I am poly; I had committed to a year of monogamy to ensure we built a strong foundation.
Forgot to bring my hormones with me, so going to be 5 hours later than normal injection time. But. Friends (yet undefined more) got me my own tea cup for their place. 🥰 Currently laying on their office floor, sleepily playing with crochet thread and loom while kitten tries to help.
This is not only going to impact Canadian drivers, but international workers driving routes. And possibly them before Canadian citizens. It is shitty and reactionary and racist, following an accident in Florida.
Yes, we can put freight on rail from ships. Yes, stuff can come via air. There are logistics bottlenecks and capacity to both, of how much goods can flow. (Recall when the rail line had to rebuilt in BC due to landslide) It also takes a bit of time to pivot from one shipping method to another.
Supply chains to Canada may get more complicated, with review of commerical truck driver visas for non-US citizens truck drivers. I.e. various people I know not on Bluesky who are Canadians who are still driving north-south routes across border
Minor dysphoria: accounts that suddenly follow me, no prior interaction, generic guy photo, usually zero posts, and majority of accounts they follow are femme appearing. The bots think I'm femme still? I need to reshoot my profile photo, but it's been too hot for tweed coat
"Here, you don't need to get out of bed yet, snuggle the cat" 🥰
Woke from cusp of drifting back to sleep, as within #dream I am being told Something Useful or having Important Thought, but words distorted as i gain consciousness, and become unrecognizable. Can't remember context beyond that felt vital to hear the words. #narcolepsy had been less woo for while
*crawls out of bed to take meds that require food* Thank you. This helped break scroll mode ("oh I'll just look for 10 minutes" turned into half an hour) in a way that my Medisafe reminders had not.
Rest of day went better. Napped, then got gas, phoned roommate and told them I was dropping off enlarger. Wheelchair upside on front seat - I was worried might smack window too hard. Got vitamins (B2 helps reduce my migraine frequency). More nap. Keys turned up in basement somewhere weird.
If you have time, experience Princess Auto, especially the surplus section (but also get it you don't have time or if there isn't one near where you are) Small town Home Hardware stores can also be extremely awesome
And of course, Tile tracker didn't get back on their keychain when they got back from Japan and using it to keep track of luggage. Their keychain has been co-opted by numerous children since at least 2009 or so when they started using lanyards and then heavy chain. "Medals from Star Wars" - cousins
I spent an hour overheating looking for their keys. Part of overheating was having to brace knees and ankles, from pain levels. Found their glasses case at recycling pad, on top of my air conditioner box, so went through box to see if keys were there. They weren't.
Also realized I need to try to go talk to their cataract surgeon tomorrow to find out 1. If worse eye can be done first and 2. if they even should be driving because wtf is their level of vision Since they mistook some of my roadkill raccoon bones for tree bark and dumped them in front garden.
They misplaced their car and house keys (physical security), they had bunch of stuff in car so my wheelchair wouldn't fit in (mobility), they accidentally threw out some of my craft stuff (respect), they got rid of boxes for my air conditioners (resale for financial stability) And a dead mouse.
I had vague feeling that having been away for nearly a month, there would be frustration with roommate. Today felt like a month's worth of minor frustrations concentrated and distilled. Have napped in air conditioning and about to try to head out to pick up my vitamins again after earlier meltdown
Gah. Maybe a smoother variety, I can slice it fine. Especially if I start seeds in a few days, fine baby kale for you?
Including 01:30am massage, thankfully Dog just came and stared at all of us, "why are the human sheep not sleeping yet? Why is the goblin in here instead of other room?" (Because knee was feeling throbby after rowing)
Big dog is starting to accept my presence -- at start of stay, would growl and snarl at me snuggling friend on couch. Now just comes, sniffs everyone, and stares at us. (Journaling gives me container to dump either just basics of day or emotions / process - sometimes done a week or two after fact)
Dog didn't want to let me go back downstairs other day, so I got caught up on journaling from festival. Had been putting it off, because it felt like Too Big to try to sit down and put into words. But felt better after I had, because then brain didn't have to cling as hard to details.
(FB uninstalled itself, and I've been trying to do 10 minutes ish browse news or Bluesky at a time. Some days are better than others; my ambient anxiety, wellness, general well-being all influence. I've been redirecting myself to phone games and books when brain wants scroll check all the things)
Oh. Huh. Definitely something to ask my therapist about (and mention to partners who have similar endless compulsive checking things / become less regulated when they can't check things)
I hope you can find a helpful inclusive barber. I had an amazing experience with a barber late last July but reverted to buzzing my scalp, as I was traveling and then ill and not in headspace. (But I don't have curly hair, and acknowledge it is a pain to get it even, even with large shaving mirror)
I rowed equivalent of 3km on rowing machine. Multiple muscle groups! Hamstrings and abdomen asking wtf I am thinking! (Was 5.5km two days ago on first try, but knee started clunking today, so stopped earlier)
Today joy: building a Lego set collaboratively with a loved one, taking turns finding bricks and building. I've built a lot of Lego. Had never managed this before (an ex once took pieces I needed and started building something unrelated, might be why I never thought to try intentionally)
Apologies for getting their surname incorrect, Jenkel, not Jenkin Tried looking, not seeing further updates in media yet. I know we have backlog on immigration cases. 3-5 years was mentioned as normal for permanent residency for refugee status hearings back in early June.
(I've been ill for a while and then helping at a festival, would love to hear if there is another American you are referring to. I'm paying attention as a Canadian on T, with a non-binary partner in California. Traveling to see them in February and back in April was stressful to say least)
If you are referring to Angel Jenkin, their deportation was paused. They had not been granted asylum, but for their case to be reviewed to ensure their role as caregiver for their Canadian fiance, and endangerment to them returning to US are properly taken into account.
It's hot, and the world is on fire. Cat snuggles help.
Potential option: lay outfit options out on a flat surface (table, chair, couch, bed?). Take photo. Solicit opinions. Or roll dice.
Thankfully the grabbing chair at Costco has been rare. Most people are too set on their mission, the 'help' has usually been about moving me out of their way. Intoxicated patrons at folk festival were awful at just grabbing my chair "take you on adventure" - heck nope ugh
I find people either don't see me and my chair, or they are overly infantalizing trying to be helpful. Grocery and pharmacy runs to Costco are both - people not paying attention with carts, other strangers trying to push me? Like no, treat it like a body, do not push, especially a stranger.
I had picked up my battered chair from a thrift store years ago, mostly for gallery visits. The stop-start movement would wear me out. Started using it regularly for shopping last year after two sprains in short timespan. Realized I had shorter nap crash than using my cane, and less impulse buying.
Ooh, need to read this later when my brain can focus. The simultaneous parts of day that feel like forever (usually uncomfortable) and parts that zoom (the parts that I wish I could remember better) are... Frustrating to say the least
Pre-festival, I was debating cutting down a 10" Ashford fine reed to fit my 6" Swedish toy loom. I am grateful I thought to look up how much another would cost, as $40 replacement cost was a hard nope. (And that I barely took time to spin over festival, I would not have gotten around to weaving)
I need to clear a ton of stuff out of craft room for 48" floor loom to be transferred to my townhouse. But goal is being able to host friends over winter for some of our spinning and weaving nights. I need to replace aprons (mildew), some heddles, definitely rusty reed, and all the linkages
Thought came about after starting to read friend's copy of Latvian #Weaving Techniques by Anita Apinis-Herman. Latvian looms historically used cotton or similar for tied heddles. And diagram of heddle tying board, to ensure that you tie the same size.
Still recovering from volunteering at #pagan festival with a ferritin of 18, but brain starting to come online. Had "ah-ha" moment this morning that I can learn to use the 3d printer by figuring out printing reed sections for looms, working up to the 48" floor #loom that needs refurbishing.
Meow! (Secret cat is awesome)
Safely arrived and indoors. The air quality index today is better in regards to PM 2.5, yesterday was higher and headache inducing. Still feels good to be inside with pain levels and exhaustion.
Okay, so it only ended up 10 minutes of bumper to bumper until it sped up as we got to the four lanes of 417. The cars looked endless, and we were wondering if we had to get off in Arnprior for more gas, but then back to normal speed thankfully
Driving home from #pagan festival back toward NCR. I've never previously ever managed to leave before dark on holiday Monday (and most years stayed at least another day to finish packing). So the utter crawl of cars is new to me just passing Renfrew, but is now clearing up yay
#pagan or any camping festival you staff / volunteer: if you don't have your stove set up on first day, you are unlikely to set up your stove or remember to do dishes. Rinse those dishes as you go. Also, you will absolutely have brought too many of some clothes and not enough of others
#pagan joy at festival is I managed to ritualize Lego (and people were into it) Seeing a friend be crowned champion in a competition. Talking to friends, serving at community feasts and safeguarding the gluten free offerings to prevent cross-contamination. Laughter. Mirth. Quiet moments in river
Made it to the forest, Got the car unpacked Dark the lights glowing dance Food needs finding sooner Sleep sleep sleep and rest
Some federal workers moved further out from NCR during pandemic because remote work, which theoretically should have increased market availability. It didn't. Prices just went up more.
I have friend whose rental is on market and they are understandably freaking out. The listing doesn't mention that both units are rented. They have been looking up to 2 hour commute, and the affordable stuff at this point need foundation or other major repairs that impact ability to get mortgage
Our townhouse was bought in 2015, in never renovated condition at below market. The only reason ex & I had money for downpayment was sale of prior home so they and ex-wife got divorce sorted out. The only reason they could afford that house was schoolhouse they renovated in NB bought cheap as prof
it's fucked. National Capital Region, Ottawa, Canada - there are multiple federal employees in my close acquaintances that can't afford the stability of not renting, despite their rent being higher than our townhouse mortgage I think we passed legislation that paying rent now helps credit rating.
Binder not in stuff I packed, and realized I need my loom threading tool if either of us want to play with loom in woods. $28 Lyft to friend office downtown and ride rest of way and back isn't my worst #ADHD tax ever, and I am grateful to not be paying nearly $100 round trip.
(please remember to hydrate / pickle juice might be a friend. Literal dill pickle juice. But also, I get not everyone is a fan)
Realizing I may have forgotten my binder at the townhouse. I was overheating too much yesterday. Alright, sift through everything I packed! At least there is central air. Worst case scenario, I take Lyft across town and back later to retrieve from where I hang it to air. Not ideal, but 🤷♂️
I wanted to comment that seeing earlier post and this post helped kick my ass into "okay, we'll grab iron when we get the magnesium I am almost out of before I go help staff a festival in woods" As it's information at right time. And that I'm in central air which makes thinking way easier.
I didn't want to do oral iron supplements, because last time constipation was extreme, and it didn't seem to improve numbers. I've been doing daily psyllium and inulin for a few years per colonoscopies, and every other day is supposed to help reduce the blockage potential, so maybe it won't suck
Am currently dealing with ferritin of 18 for last two months (but b12 good), so seeing your posts today has been "hey pay attention" this is kicking my butt to try the every other day iron supplement my doctor suggested, rather than just increasing dietary intake, since the ferritin hasn't changed.
Friday, they did our meter. We had hot water! And then hot water stopped working, as Saturday was lukewarm shower, and progressively colder and today only cold. I was not confident of my mental and physical ability to re-light safely (wobbly a bit), as well as why did it go out a few hours later
Over friend's place with central air and much more able to think - was trying to write poetry yesterday and it wasn't happening. Managed here to figure out blessing for a ritual off hand to partner on a call and "holy shit, that works" Wild how much impact just few degrees -- mine was 24.9 to 27c
New cognition and brain fog test dropped: 1. Can I operate or think through how to set up the CNC? (No) 2. Can I operate the vacuum sealer? (Yes, but after 5 minutes of confusion and trying to remember how to make it go)
I have tank tops from Suzy Sheer from late aughts that are still in fabulous shape. Burnout floral black racer back that is sheer. I think they originally had a tiny useless pocket that I removed. One of them has a hole via cat claw, one has permanent wall paint, another is perfect.
Wait, there was a point where you showed up with no instruments? 😯🥰
Groceries with friend and then talking for few hours may have contributed to this crash. Or the biking for bloodwork two days in a row (7 minutes on good day, but uphill slope on way back) day before and day of groceries. Or maybe it's something I ate. Or the heat. Or, or, or 🤷♂️
This is the most unwell I can remember feeling while simultaneously having relatively decent bloodwork. (Ferritin same low as last month) Bending over to pick things up from floor shot body temperature up a ton. Been feeling like constant low grade fever around the exhaustion naps.
And just spotted her as this posted. With 10% battery left on phone 😅 Search panic: everyone visually becomes equivalent of distorted Adult Voices on Charlie Brown. Sometimes with vision tunneling and reduced ability to know where my body is versus objects and people
Costco before close with a friend. We split the party. I now can't recall what she looks like. (I paid for my stuff once I realized I was having search panic, sitting right after registers) I -know- I know what she looks like, but all my brain can call to mind right now is her hair highlights
(of the tents I have ever had or put up, the Coleman cabin tent is my favorite style - hub poles for top, then leg poles attach. I have a third hand 6 or 8 person, and may need to replace it next year, as canvas is getting thin in spots)
I am giddy for you!! My sleeping bag of choice is a double (two normal sized bags unfold and zip together). Duvets and sheets can also work, for a more luxe experience outside of shoulder season camping
Xenomorph Giger Celtic knots is not a previous combination I would have thought of, but this is lovely
(I want a ball pit worth of these for myself for sensory purposes at some point)
I'm thinking wool yarn scraps might also make interesting inclusion lines in places
Ohhh this is a really cool idea and I'm debating trying this as well, have a ritual I was trying to figure out tokens for. Going to have to bike to dollar store after breakfast, as no clue where any nylons or pantyhose would be if I didn't toss it last time I purged my drawers.
Took half hour, I'm wiped, realized after wards none of this was even needed until I have the Enbridge gas account number for reconnecting after the work is done
I have to go shift ton of shit roommate has put near hot water heater that they were cleaning basement to deal with (but cleaned opposite end instead) Context: I have a connective tissue disorder, knees are fucked and POTS hates stairs. Roommate is full of piss and vinegar, but genius squirrel