Andy✌️
@andyhey.bsky.social
✨He/They✨ Chaotic Aquarius | Dumb Bitch | Effervescent Kunt I do design, I say gay shit, I am SFW Italian born 🇮🇹 but based in London 🇬🇧
created October 16, 2023
366 followers 144 following 1,535 posts
view profile on Bluesky Posts
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Aren’t you in awe of the brand new iPhone (11)(12)(13)(14)(15)(16) 17 Pro orange trump, the airpods pro with 6ys ago design that do magic things with AI (AI not included), and the best apple watch series who cares with plastic bands bc they care about the environment?! Uh?! Aren’t you in awe?!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Just drink white wine! #ProblemSolved👍
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
You might’ve to wait a bit longer as it seems you’re a little outside our delivery area
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Who knows? Maybe it’ll work! I did something absolutely batshit crazy to a guy on grindr and now he thinks we’re dating
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I know! Want me to uber eats you some?!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Act like a psycho. It usually works!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
And of course, there’s no lunch around here if Jessica Fletcher isn’t on!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Mom and I made fresh gnocchi. You know, just because… 💃
Victoria (@burrddoh.bsky.social) reposted
This woman will be protected by generations of crows h/t: Autumn Buck / firstdatejunkie
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Little day trip to Genova (Italy) to appreciate the art. The art:
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Keep dreaming, my sweet Jay. Never give up fingering and probing yourself with space shuttle shaped stuff, and one day you too will be DP’d like a cute little greedy slut! {cue to “Don’t Stop Believin’” Glee cast version}
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Then don’t, bb… don’t force it. Not everyone is anally gifted and that’s ok
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Then don’t do it, hun! Sex should be fun not painful or uncomfortable. If that’s something you really want to try out of curiosity, start very small, be gentle, and take it slow. Use all the lube you need. Moisturize that hole. Tenderize it before wrecking it. But always with kindness.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I have succeded in converting half of my family to Kobo. I’m poor now (and you haven’t answered my email yet, Mr. Tamblyn!), but it was worth it… Ps. The yellow Libra Colour “Readarella” and the Clara BW “Readondante” are mine, their other sibling Elipsa 2E “Readicola” is back at home.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Asking for help is neither needy or desperate. Ever. We got you, Joe! 😘 (But you’ll have to remind me your bday bc I can’t even remember mine)
Joe Glass (@joeglass.bsky.social) reposted
Grab A Con Affair on Kobo! Because it’s better than always using Amazon! bit.ly/4lk2dUM
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Recruiter: “You’ll love working from our brand new office in central London” Me: {looking at this view} Sure 🥲
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
I dared asking MEN on Reddit for help and got a bunch on answers on why I shouldn’t be asking for help and instead learn how to do it myself or use the other stuff they have collectively decided is best for me although it doesn’t do the very thing I asked them to help me do in the first place.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Hey #London, how’s your september back in office going? 😜
Wear The Peace (@wearthepeace.bsky.social) reposted
A man on the streets of the UK is asked about the “problem of immigration” and dismantles talking points with ease.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
You go, hoe! Also, 👀 gurl…
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Your… what?!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
I went. I licked. I came.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Honestly, life feels so much easier since the day I started being a silly little dumb delulu bitch 💃
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Feeling a little Sugar Daddy coded today. But Non Binary: a Glucose Parent But sugar free ‘cause I’m broke: a Stevia Guardian
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
It likes it harder. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. Hold. And repeat with longer holds until it says “daddy stop, imma good diaphragm now”
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Well, as a singer, I’ve learned to control my diaphragm which is the muscle that glitches during a hiccup. Try to just control your breath in and out, feel your sides intentionally expand and contract. Or keep drinking upside down
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Awww… thanks! I’m in my delulu till it’s trutrue era✌️
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I’m really sorry for your loss and the pain it caused you. But I’m also glad you were able to make her feel loved till the last goodbye. Big healing hugs
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
See? It worked! Let’s go do crime or overthrow a government, I’m down for whatever
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Weeee!!! Now I’m a little gay person friend in your phone. ✨I’m gonna make you my new bestie✨
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I’m the same too! I feel like a kid at the park who wants to be friend with other kids just to play and be kids together… Why nobody wants to be queer with me 😭
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Funny how 6 months, a slight change of scenery, and a Fuck It attitude can turn you into the most confident, highly acclaimed, inexplicably contented hoe in this town and the others nearby. I wanted the peen? I got the peen! ✨Don’t stop following your dreams✨
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
doggy, missionary, spooning, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, lotus, upside down, inside out, 1 leg up, 2 legs up, on a kitchen counter, on a washing machine, on a bed of nails, at the park, on the grass, on a tree, in a car, on a bike, on a spaceship, in the theater, in the jungle, in the hunger games
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Ok… how do I make a job like that exist? I’m thinking: I’m very good at giving unsolicited opinions that go beyond “I like/don’t like your book”. I should get paid as a freelance creative reviewer of stories! Like, give me a week or two and your book will be critically reviewed by me everywhere!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Morning everyone. Quick question. Is there a job that pays me to read all day while relaxing in bed or sipping margaritas on a cute beach somewhere far from reality? Something that requires zero training, qualifications, skills, and responsibilities? Any idea #BookSky? #WriterSky? #AnyoneSky?
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh yeah, this is a very polished looking app. I don’t know if it’s just me but the idea of “The Streak” pushes me to read more. Or maybe i’m just mentally ill and I relentlessly escape reality hoping that would fix me Who knows…
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Winning at something queer?! Fuck yeah!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
If I endured one year of damn Duolingo (which I loathed) I can hold this streak until the end of time …or for as long as the app stays free
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I can’t read that fast but at least it’s making me more consistent. I CAN’T BRAKE THE STREAK!!!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
100 Days reading! Honestly, I’ve never been this consistant with something. Am I a nerd now?! Also, if you like reading we can be friendsies on Fable too 🙃 fable.co/andy-hey-134...
Joel S. (@joelhs.bsky.social) reposted
The first large-scale Nazi book burning was on 6 May 1933, when Magnus Hirschfeld's Institut für Sexualwissenschaft in Berlin was attacked by Nazi students. It would take decades for science to recover the knowledge about trans-affirming healthcare that was destroyed that day.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Unsolicited advice: finish it. Psychologically it’ll make you feel like you did that, you finished what you’ve started. Then go back and edit the living shit out of it, make it the book you feel it should be. At the very least, the whole story will still be there, it’ll just needs polishing.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
If I was French, this would probably radicalize me.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Totally an 11, 2 when I’m on the bed, 1-3-10 if I’m playing on the iPad, 15 for the menses on the hinge
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I’m such an 11…
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Oh no. I caught the Feelings from a man… how do I make them go away? I tried some penischillin but it only made it worse
Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle (@drdoylesays.bsky.social) reposted
Don't let Trauma Brain convince you that because you can't at this moment completely extricate yourself from an environment that creates traumatic stress or spikes trauma symptoms, you're helpless & there's "no point" in developing recovery skills. Just do what you can today.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
And it tastes even better!!!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I do! I’d like new Music Friends
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
That long already?! Also, can I be your Apple Music friend?
Joe Glass (@joeglass.bsky.social) reposted
WOOHOO! A Con Affair is available to preorder on Google Play now too! play.google.com/store/books/...
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
There’s music on the Betty?! Who’s selecting the playlist? If it’s not gay-approved it’s not worth it. Also, I don’t care. I just go in deaf mode every time I step outside my house anyway
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Taralli napoletani. Savory baked goods made with lard and whole almonds London could nevah!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Yup. Found it! Let me check if I can send it to you
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Let me have a look. What’s the title?
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Don’t you have a library card? Perhaps you could borrow it and finish it… without having to pay extra
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Awww… Do you want a kiss on the booboo?
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
How’s the tip?
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh sweety… come here, let me give you a gender non conforming sign of affection (some people call it a hug) My whole family misgenders me, dead name me, and they don’t even acknowledge i’m gay (or whatever) But somehow i’m the a-hole for not respecting their Christian upbringing
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
hi
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
JAMES WINNIFRED CHARLOTTE VAN DER BEAN!!!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
I NEED IT. I DESERVE IT. apple.news/AHvh0ppx9Ri6...
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
You know what they say: “the only good Republican is the d💀d Republican”
The Advocate (@advocate.com) reposted
Outcry grows after multiple trans users were targeted for mild criticisms of the anti-trans billionaire.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Weeeeell…
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
The fact that some major numbers like “Dressing them up” have been cut bc “people in real life don’t sing” feels like what happened with “Sweeney Todd” and “Into the Woods”: they didn’t get the musical. And I’m already bored.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
{judgingly stares in Italian🤌}
Kathy O'Donnell (@kathyodonnell.bsky.social) reposted
www.reddit.com/r/transgende... Guess what? The story about the trans M&S employee and the bra fitting is a pack of lies and distortions. Want to know what really happened and how colleagues stood up for her? Read her own account here.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I like mine in the nude…
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Sure but have you ever been kissed repeatedly on the back of your thighs? This guy I’ve been seeing this summer unlocked this achievement for me and… well, I have questioned things…
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Yes, the gender neutral choice is always preferable
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
FERRAGOSTO The summer holiday in Italy where people gather on the beach to be chaotic Italians roasting beasts on open flames
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
You already applied months ago, diva!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Mother made paella from scratch. Mother has mothered really hard today.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
What gif pops up when you type your name?
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
You are a very intelligent and superior human, Mardukian. I am proud of you
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Pssst! Wanna know a little secret? Duplicate your project and give them the copy. Let them play around there, leave notes, whatever so you can work in peace! That’s ethical ghosting!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
This feels premeditated. It’s cloudy again and it’s also raining! I wanna speak with the Sky Manager. Now!
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Was this part of the Polari language? I’m fascinated by that, being Italian and living in an English-speaking country.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
The sky seems very AI today: ugly, useless, unnecessary
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I thought she was just ugly
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I think tv hosts shouldn’t run countries as a principle We already have Dancing With The Stars and The Traitor for unsuccessful tv personalities
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
It was 37 here in the town I currently am. Dude who went for a 1h run looked fresh out of a refrigerator, I was merely existing and I looked like what happens when a microwaved ice cream gets fucked by a melted candle
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I see you, i feel you, i know what you did last summer and we all hate Sue. She drinks red wine with ice in it
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
Straight people should be banned. Full stop.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
Anytime! Honestly, I still have ptsd from the days back in theater where I had to find my note in “Sunday” but I also have a tingling sensation under my armpits every time I hear THAT intro. I guess I’m his slut too
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
The fact that THAT is your @, you should be invited to any group chat!
Grace (@graceldn.bsky.social) reposted
Guys I need to share this Amazon review of Veet Cream cos I don’t know who to talk to about it to…
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I feel like you need this in gif form… media4.giphy.com/media/z6ayQ8...
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social)
The one time I went to the beach with Mother and there’s a super ultra hot guy winking at me and asking me to “do stuff” on the grindr
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
I feel like I’ve been muted a lot, tbh. Those who I interact with, do interact back but it’s like just a handful of people. So I can only assume that I have been muted
Owen Jones (@owenjones.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
In the message posted just before he was killed, Anas Al-Sharif warned of Israel's proposed liquidation of Gaza City. He said: "Silence is complicity." He was right. It's just not the disgusting cheerleaders of the genocide who are guilty. It's those who chose to stay silent.
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
The only downside of freelancing is having constant work. Clients now want to save money as much as possible so it becomes a war with other designers for the lowest price possible. I joined a studio which has lots of clients but they’re very inconsistent. And this gives me so much anxiety
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
(Sorry, fell asleep) We’re resonating so hard with each other! Working as a freelancer is the best for traveling! In the past year I visited my family in Italy while working on two projects. I would love to visit Europe more, Japan, Thailand + Australia +Tasmania again, New Zealand
Andy✌️ (@andyhey.bsky.social) reply parent
…on my dreams (I graduated in dramatic arts - I never worked for lots of reasons), the only thing left is to do something I kinda like, travel, see the world, maybe find love, hopefully grow old and afford it… Every day feels like I have to choose between that or being an adult. Does it make sense?