Probably make their advertisement seem very correct
A blonde to make a preacher kick a hole in a stain glass window. NYC based burlesque performer married to a trans babe with multiple small humans. I’d love to travel to your show!
3,253 followers 1,224 following 25,504 posts
view profile on Bluesky
Probably make their advertisement seem very correct
I need to also have the butt when I dramatically take the pants off!
Isn’t that just squats?
Gotta shine for yourself most of all!
We could all do with a little more sparkle
I’m honestly glad I never had more of a Twitter account because that way lies madness
I emailed a family photo rather than fight my printer today
You all make me feel seen, and it’s so nice! This is a phenomenon specific to bluesky, for me. I think it’s because I never really tried to “brand” here like I did Twitter or Instagram.
I am jealous, we haven’t been to the zoo in ages and I love it
You are one of the gentlest, kindest people I know.
Just my best, autocorrect added the to
Thank you so much, I am truly doing my best to
I think this is the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.
What the fucking fuck! I was already aggravated because I do wear my wedding ring to the pool but at least this guy waited till my kids were on the splash pad to flirt. Getting naked would make me find a large group of safe people immediately.
I judge parents who cut the crust off.
I had a man try to pick me up this week by sitting down uninvited at the picnic table where I was feeding my kids and pulling his own lunch out before saying I was attractive, there is something in the water right now.
I am guessing he’s a racist with frat boy hygiene
The same dirty bath water is sending me
Thank you
My oldest is at the age where she still can’t quite do it but she can tell if it’s done badly, so it’s a good thing I’ve had a nail art hobby for so long!
Aww, that’s peak adorable baby legs time! Totally counts.
Lmao I switched to UV gel when I was bartending because it wouldn’t chip into the ice
This is my favorite post today, what an incredible compliment
Good I am constantly telling queer people to be involved with raising kids in some capacity!
Love this for you/want this for all of us!
That’s @blueheronfarm.bsky.social , I have the human kids!
I make it harder by insisting that we have to do all the steps for a real manicure (because it will last longer if I dehydrate the nail bed and don’t flood the cuticles.)
Fine sit down and I’ll do your nails
This is the best compliment I could possibly receive, thank you!
Our feature artist/tutorial today is this beautiful pencil test by the talented @rudolpheguenoden! Note how WEIGHT is shifted in ANTICIPATION, and then THROWN to make that spin, and how the movements are aninated as a constant FLOW through the ENTIRE FIGURE! Perfection.
It’s my most lesbian coded trait.
I am both of these women, Barbie nine jobs for real
Lmao I can’t help it
Mostly because they’re small and impatient
I love helping people reach their full potential
I want to be the spotlight on your disco ball.
Painting kid nails is so much harder than adult nails.
I consider this every year.
💖💖💖
So cute, so terrifying
It just keeps being true!
Just when I think it couldn’t get worse.
Thank you! Today I also had a new dress and a jaunty little bow.
Women 😍
I will get other parents on board, I will be the most annoying white lady on the planet
If they try to put AI in my kids’ classes I am going to lose my mind complaining to take it back out.
Are you a K-12 educator who has had to manage AI use in the classroom? We want to hear from you for an upcoming story: https://bit.ly/468tl3w
Well at least I looked adorable today
I love it!
This banner makes me think of @annazand.bsky.social
TRUMP IS STILL ALIVE AND I AM DEEPLY UNHAPPY ABOUT IT. 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬
I would love that, that’s one of my favorite photos
i regret giving up photography years ago because there's a shoot i think would be so cool to do. in the 50s there was the miss atomic bomb pageant in vegas and the last miss atomic bomb was a blonde bombshell named anna. @annazand.bsky.social would go so hard as miss atomic bomb
I love this so much!
Happy First Day of School to everyone in the Northeast headed back today!! A bit of beauty for your morning from the Van Gogh inspired exhibit at NYBG.
Good morning to everyone doing first day of school!
This literally was my act before Gaga’s stylist saw it on the LES. I quit performing it after they took it.
I have no idea if boobs are halal, I’m an ex southern Baptist and an ex Methodist.
I want meat, titties, glitter, kissing really hard, and a cucumber salad. A perfect summer party.
I feel like that’s not even a hard ask. We can absolutely have meat and titties and probably at least three other things we love, too.
I’m 200% sure we can have meat and titties
Thank you so much!
I am sparkling from the inside out
Anna did you mean specifically the edible glitter-no. Let me stop you there, it was not.
Oh no I fucked up, I got gay married in October like a cliche!
That looks delicious!
LMAO SHUT UP YOU’RE RIGHT
I only have a learner’s permit, hang on to your butt
No, you need to leave. You do not belong here.
Ayyyy!
lol I totally have an NY state food handler’s license but it’s unrelated!
The normal amount is a lot.
Delicious boobs, though!
Yes.
Thank you, I will check it out!
Truly a man after my own heart!
I have eaten a normal amount of glitter and it doesn’t taste like much, I just love sparkly boobs.
Glitter
I used to have a burlesque act where I wore a bikini made out of raw meat, I should revisit that
Brisketitties for everyone!
Brisketitties for everyone!
Trans women are the entire reason the initial culture of this app was so good. I mean it, go away.
I firmly believe this, if you are an LGB without the T asshole you can leave.
Then you don’t belong on bluesky!
Why can’t we have meat and titties?
Beautiful!
LGB without the T people are stupid assholes, hope that helps!
Oh that is out of character! We’re doing false fall here in Jersey.
It is wish fulfillment for me, the reader
School starts tomorrow, that’s fall! Also the pool is closed for the year. 😭
Just finished the Contract Bound series although I kind of skimmed the second book because the first was so much better.
That’s an instant follow!
This is how I look at @nadiazand.bsky.social
As an adult, my proximity friendships come from dance classes.
As it is officially fall I am now reading vampire novels. (And they’re still getting gay married, obviously.)
It is SO adorable, I love this for you!
Immediately
Imagine the bliss of being completely unaware of Rudy Giuliani
I need white women to quit.
Perfect, no notes