poop state shittany lions
(she/her 🏳️⚧️) - an actual zelda, not an actual princess - has pled the fifth in federal court regarding accusations of actually being a bunny - from hyrule, if by “hyrule” you mean michigan pfp: kevin hong (k141) cover: @animekki.bsky.social
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poop state shittany lions
ICH KOMME ICH KOMME
incredible, they made sumotori dreams real youtu.be/O8KAUoW0Juo
friendly gentle reminder that if you go to the mall on labor day you’re a total fucking asshole
doing just that, being punk and not actually smiling lol
yknow it’d be really fucking cool if it rained today
LOL! 😝 🤣 Good One Brenda
like i am physically incapable of acknowledging that ohio state is capable of doing good things. but also fuck dave portnoy.
i am obscenely conflicted about this as a michigan fan that hates portnoy
(Provocative images of Swedish Meatballs)
i didn’t have “becoming a metallica fan” on my bingo card for 2025 but here we are
wait a second i’m carlton
AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY AND YOU FIND GEOFFREY
what a big-eared freerf
have another bunny in a silly hat. this one’s on the house!
you’d think that other teams would know to not let the tigers get hot at this point
what is its clove hitch?
no
thinking about concorde. miss that plane
like nice job stepping up to the plate 9 months late after striking out like 5 times already, it’s going to take a lot more than a couple quippy sound bites for me to even start to be encouraged by his candidacy
how quickly people forget that gavin newsom thought that the best way to start of his podcast was to invite charlie kirk, michael savage and steve bannon back-to-back-to-back while publicly indicating that he was willing to throw trans rights under the bus for whatever reason
my phone is so quiet except for notifying me of things i actually give a shit about! like how it should be!!
Don’t Honk If You Love John Cage
lasagnyuri
what if instead of calling it piano, we called piayes
i’ve spent most of today modifying my email and push notification settings for all of my apps and subscriptions so they can finally stop telling me about stupid bullshit
well one would hope that their defense would have the edge. two of them, preferably
just heard my old wake-up ringtone for the first time since i was extremely depressed and had violent flashbacks to living in a state of california
i’m at the “depression” stage of the stages of grief
how do i stop getting emails
so are we the pig dicks or the bags of meat
you ever just forget that you’re not an ephemeral spirit contractually obligated to care about piloting a sack of meat, but are instead literally just a human living life with free will and sentience
that’s a strong case for converting to judaism
but something tells me satan wouldn’t be playing “this is god’s country” by morgan wallen in hell
an effective way to get me to go to church under my own volition would be to tell me that they play 2020s country music 24/7 and that i could avoid hell by going to church
Grrr!! I am a “Generation Z” and I couldn’t watch past 0:14 because I was… “Rage Baited”!! I love my Tick Tocks and not thinking for myself and drinking Gluten Free Horse Milk!! I am going to cancel you, Tony Zaret, for being a guy! Who likes guy movies!
michiganders are exempt from this bc we’ve always been making fun of ohio and will continue to do so after this moment passes
yeah! new handle! new handle! it’s me! and sounding cooler! but still fundamentally the same me! but different!!
Forget About the Upper Peninsula Watch Out for Joumana Kayrouz Just Avoid Howell Entirely Roll the I94 Uniroyal Tire
Be Disappointed by the Lions Chug a Can of Vernors Buy an Ornament from Bronner’s Get Fudged in Mackinac!
Explore the State of Michigan
i’m digging the pixelated green potato latke look you’ve got going these days val
thank you tobias foxworthy like it didn’t fundamentally alter the trajectory of my life or anything but it was made better because of it
i hate retail
i got my first “it doesn’t have a price tag, does that mean it’s free?? haha” at work, and this was the mood
enter sandman is a song about proper exit light signage in buildings in case of an emergency
just had a minor existential crisis thinking about health insurance coverage. i fucking hate being an adult this shit sucks
imagine the following a very tired zelda, not moving, cocooned under two thick blankets in a cold room after a long day of working retail blasting metallica through her airpods to bludgeon the memory of the shitty country she was forced to listen to all day SO LET IT BE WRITTEN SO LET IT BE DONE
credence clearwater revival, if they were lawyers I WANNA KNOW: have YOU ever seen the rain? you may be entitled to financial compensation.
i’d take that trade! i have no biases whatsoever!
even though i’m being subjected to the torture that is country music at work, it is raining outside so it’s not all awful
it’s so cool how almost everything is a scam and is simulatenously killing us
just remembered i have a belly button. honestly just forgot it was there
i just psychologically torture myself and stay awake until it’s the correct bedtime to get myself on schedule. for instance, when i was traveling back from europe, i was blasting metallica (through airpods) on the plane and watched playoff basketball before finally collapsing into bed at 11pm est
my retail experience has pretty much just become “how long can you dissociate for while still appearing productive”
“i’m sorry dave, i’m afraid i can’t stop being a fascist” -grok, probably
social media should have stopped when it was just a way to keep in touch with people you actually knew, i don’t need or want to know what everyone is doing all the time
i’m like the protagonist from baby driver where i need to be listening to music in order to function, except i don’t do illegal things for kevin spacey
pretty solid i would start puka over jamo for the first games of the season since puka’s a clear wr1 while jamo’s role is still a bit of a wild card dependent upon him not just being a second option behind arsb
really? well i’m from utica and i’ve seen some of those words in the bible before.
july the 5th be with you
everyone’s always asking what updog is, but never *how* updog is :(
luigi wins by doing absolutely nothing
we don’t win the rose bowl without jj on that last drive in regulation
Getting into Substack. Every Tuesday is a free article for subscribers. I'm tired of feeling angry about U.S. politics - at least, angry and helpless. Here's my response into the void. #politics #bigbeautifulbill #hope open.substack.com/pub/allisonw...
me
OH NO! DISASTER! WHAT A BAD IDEA!
youtu.be/OUNJ_27K-6Q
music grid update time! it’s pretty much just #14, sorry chico buarque (you’re still free to laugh at my taste, or lack thereof, if you so please)
i woke up this morning to thunder but it really didn’t rain today. it rained a lot yesterday so that kinda makes up for it i suppose
idk how many more “think about the rain instead of politics” i got left in me
cap’n geech and the shrimp shack shooters
that may be the most zelda post ever made also here’s the video in question
i was pissed about the tigers game tonight but i saw a really cute bunny video and i feel better now
This is a vital message: one of the larger reasons BlueSky is refreshingly free of alt-right shitlords is because in the early days we made a gentleperson’s agreement to starve these fuckos out and it worked. No likes, no quotes, no engagement. They got bored and left. Please keep the Old Ways.
it’s raining a lot and thundering here in michigan right now and i’m happy
i love the rain so much :)
guy who pronounces “the deftones” like “the deft ones”
there’s nothing else going on in the world right now
looks like there’s going to be rain tomorrow. i hope it does. i like the rain
they did surgery on a waluigi #theydidsurgeryonawaluigi
what do you mean i have a “””job””” to do that involves customer service
really inconsiderate of the customer who came into the store just now to politely say hi to me, thereby forcing me to say hi back, all while i was in the middle of acing all the lyrics and guitar solo to take it on the run by reo speedwagon 🙄
oh and of course who could forget the compulsory cishet normativity unless you want to be ostracized, harassed or shot for it?
- have no time or energy to do anything that you actually want to do in a day so just lie in bed and doomscroll for a hobby - sleep for 8 hours and do it all over again fucking sick of this
i feel like the united states is trying to kill me at every turn - eat your processed slop every meal of the day - drink your questionably filtered water - drive your 4000 pound metal box at 75 mph and hope you don’t encounter any morons - do menial, exhausting work for barely enough to get by
i was 4 in 2004 and would not have been able to tell you why i unreasonably adored ben wallace back then, and i’m happy that i’ve come to reasonably adore ben as i’ve grown up and learned more about him and his game
a small timeline cleanse to cheer you up from the stress of it all 🌌
what is calilyfornia?
back in my day we had better concessions when i saw games at tiger stadium. they were called cigarette butts from my chain smoking dad and you enjoyed eating them.
i was lucky enough that the gate for my connecting flight was literally right next to the hot dog stand in keflavik and i had 40ish minutes so i went “fuck it” and went for it at 6 in the morning iceland time
it was very good but i was also very jet lagged and babysitting my parents who were both hopped up on ambien at that point in our trip, so who’s to say what i actually think of it their website is also very charming wherein they are very proud of the fact that bill clinton had one once bbp.is
i just had a layover in reykjavik last month where i tried said icelandic hot dog, and according to the website of bæjarins beztu pylsur, “ordering like a local” entails raw *and* crunchy onions, as well as sweet mustard and creamy remoulade sauce.
good attempt at the amon-ra celly
