Wristband Guy: Will u be drinking tonight? Me: Brother, it is a Tuesday, I am from the 20th century, I just chugged a green tea bc the band doesn’t go on till 9:30.
alex gradet // he/him writer/producer/director/editor for hire gradet.com // fivegreatminutes.substack.com in 1991 gene lebell put steven seagal in a sleeper hold and made seagal pass out and poop and pee himself. Слава Україні // йди на хуй Краснов
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Wristband Guy: Will u be drinking tonight? Me: Brother, it is a Tuesday, I am from the 20th century, I just chugged a green tea bc the band doesn’t go on till 9:30.
Vote @ditchkurtz.bsky.social for governor, and get Elon the fuck out of Tennessee! #ditch4governor
I don't care if I've supported them politically, ideologically or materially - if they're in the birthday book, if they're in the files, if they went to the island, they belong in fucking jail. When I’m presented w new info, I can reach a new conclusion bc I’m neither a cultist nor a fucking idiot.
Head to ditch4governor.com to to donate, order merch, and support the next governor of Tennessee, @ditchkurtz.bsky.social !!!!!
“Uptown girl, she’s been”
On the one hand, that's clearly his signature standing in as pubic hair on the figure of a child. On the other hand, the world's most inveterate liar says he didn't do this. Boy, this is a tough call, who to believe ...
Her: When I get there, you better not be the VFX Eric Bruskotter head that gets capped in the live-fire bootcamp exercise in Starship Troopers Me:
No disrespect to its GOAT status, but this Jeannie Cusamano Parent Trap gag is the funniest shit I've ever seen on TV.
It's the sports mascot equivalent of an upside-down flag. And what are the O's if not in distress?
Oh sure, that’s the one where he plays Dave Longing.
Her: You better not be Benicio del Toro from the One Battle At A Time Fortnite Skins when I get there. Me:
THREE. SMALL. WORDS.
Meadow begging off one-on-one time with Tony by saying “I have to go online.”
lets fkn go.
(watching a Sopranos ep where Carmela listens to “Wheel in the Sky”) god these ppl are so sad and tacky and stuck in the glory days of their past, anyway alexa play REM
going to bed is so embarrassing. sorry, my brain needs to watch a movie. please don’t kill me
Doctor I trust more than RFK
BRING IT TO MY FACE.
Cleansing the TL with @bebeneuwirth.bsky.social as Jenny in 3Penny
Kinji Fukusaku's 10 Things I Hate About You
That I didn't buy these or The Killer or Hard-Boiled or Robocop ...
... that's saying it.
MADAM.
HEY GAVIN! IT'S YOUR COUSIN MARVIN NEWSOM! CUTE MEMES BUT ...
Does either the prologue or epilogue explain the connection to the early aughts iced tea?
I mean obviously he's an FBI informant whose name doesn't appear in the files that are a Democratic hoax, all of these things can be true at the same time, i am very smart.
Know your rights, Illinois. Stay safe and stay informed.
Super excited for this Nine Inch Nails concept album that accompanies nothing. (the same way Daft Punk did one in 2010 that I can't remember being associated with anything in particular)
Fuck you, Bobby.
The President of the United States is threatening to go to war with an American city. This is not a joke. This is not normal. Donald Trump isn't a strongman, he's a scared man. Illinois won’t be intimidated by a wannabe dictator.
Trust that I only become MORE me with movies number 5-onward.
“Wait, the *what* supper?!” - Jesus
obviously what Trump wants to do is horrifying but Republicans losing the NRA over trans people is genuinely one of the funniest possible political outcomes
She should book it and then give the mic to the Epstein survivors.
Pritzker has a real "burn it down and piss on the ashes" vibe that I think meets the moment.
Would // Would.
Is this really the first time they've costarred in something? Bc they genuinely feel like they match each other's freak* (*legit weirdos mistakenly uploaded to hot movie star physical forms)
And You Were Never Really Here.
(I realize I didn't attach the aforementioned GI Joe No. 20)
"It found me. I don't know how, but your email found me."
My "Jefferson Lives" is Alec Baldwin booking Hunt for Red October after Harrison Ford passed on it and Harrison Ford booking The Fugitive after Alec Baldwin passed on it.
GRAB BAG!
"What's the Story Behind This Oaf?" Oh shit, A.I.'s coming for the Coens' bread and butter ...
Christ x Pilate: The New Empire
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be asleep.
Oh HELL yes
He's been a bullshit artist for 50 years in the public eye, the last decade of which has led the American Empire to its breaking point, but sure, *now* is the moment to see if he's "for real." Delete your paper.
… that, years later, I wrote a beat into JLU no. 45 so that the cover would be an homage to it.
The one that stayed with me was GI Joe no. 20, which so electrified me on the spindle …
Me: (wheeling compost bin to the curb) RFK Jr (chewing cigarettes): Aɾҽ ყσυ ɠσιɳɠ ƚσ ϝιɳιʂԋ ƚԋαƚ?
We need a meaningful children’s rights movement in this country. There is a long history of the government - all three branches - upholding “parental rights” to the detriment of children. Particularly the right to a good education and to adequate healthcare, including vaccinations.
The Nazi early prohibition on Jews from owning guns has been an NRA talking point for decades.
See also: bsky.app/profile/atom...
Beauty comes at a cost.
Casino Royale (2006) Dir: M. Campbell DP: P. Méheux #oneperfectshot
Raw milk, beef tallow, alkaline water.
HOLD ON HOLD ON ... IS THAT HOW THE ALIEN LIFECYCLE WORKS? IS EATING RADIOACTIVE SHRIMP THE SAME AS HAVING A PARASITE LAY EGGS IN YOUR STERNUM?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME & TELL ME THAT *SHRIMP* MAKES A NEWBORN ALIEN (ERRONEOUSLY RETRONYMED 'XENOMORPH') BREAK OUT OF YOUR RIBCAGE? GROW UP BRO, GROW UP.
(sorts notecards) (takes drink of water) (adjusts mic) THAT IS NOT HOW THE LIFE CYCLE OF THE ALIEN (ERRONEOUSLY RETRONYMED "THE XENOMORPH") WORKS (flips table, storms out)
Neither feels particularly in-character for America's Boy Scout™.
Ladder-puller.
Unfortunately, there has proven to be a generation of LGBTQ+ folks (some of them icons like Thompson) who are unfathomable ladder-pullers.
I had a convo w a friend recently who'd (to my dismay) folded LLMs into his workflow. When I asked why he'd outsource tasks he was capable of, while feeding it his data to train on/take work from him, he said "It doesn't work well enough to take my job," which brought me right back to "WHY?!"
Taking into account that body-shaming isn't ok and every human is built differently, I'll just say that Ted Cruz and Jon Hamm are the same age.
And a missed opportunity to namedrop a *Chicago* pizza place, but then Ted's never gonna do even a dumb thing the "smart" way.
It's 100% a fat joke.
As problematic as he's become, it gets a lot easier to enjoy the better corners of Alec Baldwin's oeuvre if we imagine he d*ed with his Mission: Impossible character in 2018.
Sorry, but I'm gonna take anything with a dose of salt from the guy whose proudest moment was denying a president his right to nominate a Supreme Court justice.
Not to give a stranger the benefit of the doubt, but this is an insanely savvy thing for him to say, for the cover fire it will give the production, and then not do.
I think you're thinking of Will & Grace. Dharma and Greg is about the guy from Ork living with his girlfriend in Colorado.
Adds "baby jenny mccarthy" to time travel checklist.
No, no, sorry, hate to start confrontational, but you're thinking of 30 Rock. Wasn't Mad About You the one about the two mismatched cousins in Chicago?
Which one's Seinfeld, the radio therapist in Seattle?
What's that?
Wait, I recognize this, what's this from?
Stop looking, I've found the best use of the "zoom and enhance" trope in cinema history:
There's a fistful of 90s movies where I dissociate for five minutes bc someone sampled its dialogue for a club banger.
I'm the best kind of podcaster, which is "former."
Absolutely. The reason the Patriot Games one sticks is:
This may be the first time he's met the bare-minimum prerequisite for his office.
Them: You can't hear a picture. Me:
CBS News Sunday Morning: How Bari Weiss Stays So Pretty and Popular
Me n’ who?
Oh my god I never made the connection but OF COURSE.
Every antitrans sports argument seems on some level to be about protecting some nebulous integrity in sports, so let me offer you the most empathetic eye contact when I say THE PRESENCE OF BIGOTRY IS THE ABSENCE OF INTEGRITY. One more time: THE PRESENCE OF BIGOTRY IS THE ABSENCE OF INTEGRITY.
“Oh my God, take a joke bruh, SACK TAP!”
Ask not for whom the Venga Bus comes. It comes for thee.
BOUT DEM O’S, HON.
Listening to @jamellebouie.net & John Ganz’s “Unclear and Present Danger” pod, realizing in the 90s, these two were each other’s Wario.
LL: It was not subtle. JM: Now that everybody’s supporting me by screaming, I’m going to date a music producer - LL: Oh no - JM: Scooter Braun. LL: At least you didn’t say Dr. Luke. JM: GOD no, not since he figured out all those burner numbers were me. I’m why they had to add a new area code.
