I said “Robert Pattinson didn’t need makeup to look pale. Poor British bastard. Then he takes a Hollywood job and it’s all filmed in another area with no sun. Manages to get even paler. Maybe that’s not cgi and he really did sparkle in Italy.”
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I said “Robert Pattinson didn’t need makeup to look pale. Poor British bastard. Then he takes a Hollywood job and it’s all filmed in another area with no sun. Manages to get even paler. Maybe that’s not cgi and he really did sparkle in Italy.”
Watching Twilight: New Moon with the niece and we’re just roasting it. I took a gummie and she has a spiked lemonade. She just blurted out “just look at Jacob’s tiny little nipples. They don’t fit his chest.” Send help. 🥴
Wow that’s a series I forgot about
Can we simply not have someone walk up to the White House like Monty Python with a cart yelling “bring out your dead”? Just to see if they take the bait?
Bad Bunny came on and everyone yelled 🤣 I’m trying to convince him to do his best grito so they know we’re also enjoying it. But he thinks he’s too white. 😅
Oh someone’s birthday party is going off a few houses away. Even my hubs is enjoying it. 😂💃🏽
Oh that color is siiiiick. Absolute beauty.
Goddamnit. Thanks for the heads up that’s gonna ruin my Tuesday.
LET US HAVE THIS
I will still never understand that weird gas station he opened here for like a day
This is art. My gawd.
Lacing his makeup
I just want it to be something so dumb. We need that joy. Like expiring on the toilet. Oh the memes. Oh the merch.
Screaming, crying, throwing up from sea to shining sea
Stfu for real? That info totally eluded me. Just of course. Explains a lot! Just let kids be happy and become themselves so we avoid the evil rot that springs from denying and not supporting them. Creating creeps and monsters when too many already exist.
“King fuck of shit mountain” getting added the the household lexicon tonight
No thank you pass
Guy on the call asked “what was that!?” Luckily I’ve complained to him before about their gas, so he got a laugh out of it.
One of the dogs just ripped a loud fart on a zoom call. So that’s my morning. 🫠
lol full on wasn’t thinking. It’s for the dog. I would NEVER ruin Mexican rice
Forgot to wash my rice and now it looks like a bubble bath up in here
It’s an absolute shame and does nothing but steal joy. What a bunch of miserable jerks.
The Internet is full of artists. Good lord.
The recent transplants did not do research coming here, I swear. I also liked during Irma, everyone full on panicked. We were the only house on our street boarded up. People asking for scraps etc but not knowing they needed tapcons and a hammer drill. We were the only ones with either. Total mess.
OMG I’VE SEEN THIS POSTED IN OUR HOA GROUP!! I was absolutely DYING! Last year a few different people asked about getting wood last minute bc they’d thrown out the wood they bought before. WHAT!? You didn’t keep it!? “Are we gonna have to buy this every year?” 💀
If a clear window of a week is enough for someone to think they can just eat all their supplies now… there was never any saving them. First in line for the panic buying.
I’ve seen it said a few times, but I absolutely cannot get over the high viz vests over camo. Brilliant. Great use of resources. 🫠
North Korea type shit
🤦🏽♀️
It’s the crow bar guy right?
😂 There’s a joke about a white guy in the office thinking the Latinos like him bc they gave him such a sweet sounding nickname. “Every time I walk by they say “peachy Mary cone”. That’s all this makes me think of.
Well that’s good to know. I’ll have to go read up better then. There’s some stuff I prefer to have direct from there vs here. And I just keep waiting to hear they’re gonna cut it off. Bc why not.
🎶 Patrick hermano Ya eres mexicano 🎶
My father in law got so drunk one night trying to talk about this movie. By the end of it, “Tony Perkis Sr the lighting fixture king of Pennsylvania” turned into “Joey Bag of Donuts the mushroom king of Pennsylvania”. It was so dumb and I still laugh every time my BIL wears his “Perkisizing” shirt.
If we get to a point where I can’t get my Mexican spices I hope all the dumb fucks who got us here enjoy their bland ass taco Tuesday’s from here until eternity. I hope you choke on an old El Paso kit.
I say baby like they aren’t 10-12-14. But they’re baby to me.
BLESS UP NO RAISINS! My baby cousins have started making their own agua frescas at home. It’s adorable. Now I want ropa vieja…
Does the picadillo have raisins? That’s the burning question. $6 for an agua fresca!? Que loca.
All I think of when I see him is how he tried to give us a bunch of loose weed in a grocery bag. He’s such a weird dude.
I feel guilty enough when I give in and get a “full diesel” coke vs sugar free, how the fuck does anyone actually get all that down into their gut? It’s just too much damn sugar. I can’t. “Oh this southern sweet tea isn’t sweet enough.” 🥴
By a damn thread
Getting one right by our house and just… no thanks
Just said “well at least she did all the foot work for you” to my coworker with 1 leg who is laughing at me hysterically. Just sitting here mortified while he takes the piss. 🫠
Omg I just saw this place pop up on the map last week when I was looking for a hotel close to the airport. Saw the name and that it looked new. Rolled my eyes and moved on.
I was just asked if I was the type of person that would like a tote bag and my reply was “I’m a liberal woman of color. Of course I want another tote bag. Sign me up.”
Oh i full blown do not want to be here today. A 10 hour shift just feels bleak today. Early bed night for sure.
3am the old lady woke up and had to pee. I let both dogs out. Enzo bolted to the back of the yard where the light barely hits. Next thing I see him shaking something in his mouth and then trying to stomp on it. Instantly woke me all the way up. No corpse this morning but we’re calling him “killer.”
Sometimes it’s fully original, sometimes it’s parody, but it’s always unhinged.
My husband just makes up songs about mundane things. I went to grab a load of laundry from the dryer and out loud said “oh no it’s still damp!” *from down the hall he just screams to the tune of Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover* “DAMP! I wish I was your laundry…” Sophie B. Hawkins I’m so sorry
As my baby cousin likes to say “My-hammy Dolphins!” 🐬 🏈
lol ok so more shit talking than gossip. That’s pretty damn funny. I was fully down for the chisme.
“I’m a D1 podcaster” is such psycho shit 😂
What was the tea and why are we spilling?
August is when it stays to get active. But hurricane season starts 6/1. We’ve been on alert since then.
Getting baptized in a vat of dumplings and hash brown casserole in the Tallahassee Cracker Barrel parking lot as god intended.* *just kidding. If you’re in Tally, get crushed by the weight of a XL pizza and sent to god in the Momo’s parking lot instead.
We’re halfway through hurricane season. But definitely heading towards the peak.
Ok fine I don’t always hate it here 🌈
Holy shit
Jesus Christ we need to just get out of here
“The black makes it go to 140 degrees.” Ok so I need ov-gloves during daylight hours. Noted. 😂
I’m sorry but they’re painting the wall black now so it gets hotter? Because night, gloves, and ladders… don’t exist? Have these people ever met a Mexican?
Once again, bullying works.
I’m trying to figure out if AI stocks crash like the dot com bubble first, or if some good ole boy from Texas decides he’s tired of the energy bill increases due to data centers and pulls a domestic terrorism at one. They already shot/blew up substations over 5G. 🤷🏽♀️
Worked at Nexstar & Tegna. Tegna was lovely. Nexstar bought Media General and I went through the merger. I’ll get out of the business before working for them again. All that said. They must know Carr at the FCC will roll back regulations later this year. They already have 2 channels in Tampa alone.
May be a 2 coffee morning. Man am I dragging.
Noooooo it’s such a good show 😭 They all did such a good job here in Tampa!
How the hell did the dolphins pull that off 😂
I've been told by a county manager that county operations have been brought to a complete standstill by the Florida Republican Party Woke Brigade. This, on the first week of school, in the county with the seventh largest school district in the United States.
Someone said “feed the train no hurricane” and it’s one of the only times I’ve been proud to be a Floridian. Put it on a shirt.
My husband and his adopted bro just got tickets for Jacksonville
But the bohemian garlic jerky is 👌🏼
“Move over cabronas your tia needs this”
Oh that will be a thing just for Tia. I’m getting that cake. When my mom and I get together, just us, we go full golden girls and get a cheesecake.
Officially taking the 2 oldest nieces to NYC for a few days and then driving down and flying out of Philly. Their first time ever visiting the northeast. Gonna show them Princeton too 💙 Beyond excited! All they want is pizza, bagels, Chinese food, and cheesesteaks.
Bring them back! Hurricane cakes may be the only thing to actually unite Floridians
I want someone to spin this as them being anti cop so bad. “Look! They have to send in the troops bc you chucklefucks can’t even stop the kia boys! Trump wants to defund the police!”
How!? How do they even learn to do this? He’s a failed hunting dog that didn’t even know what a blanket was when he got here. Now he’s learned to cover himself in our bed and groans until someone puts a blanket on him to go to sleep. 🫠
My niece: “is he breathing out of his butt? He’s so weird.”
I don’t want to give them any credit considering how pathetic they’ve been lately, but when I was at CBS (I guess now paramount) I was shocked they offered it. And I remember when they announced they were going to cover more of the cost. You+Spouse paid the same price, DP’s charged a penalty.
The one time I’ve been totally alone in this house I dropped something as I was making dinner, and the realization I had to actually pick it up hit me like a brick. No dog to clean up after me in the kitchen was BIZARRE.
“Where’s the dog?” Like the wicked witch with these feet hanging out but he buried himself
East coast feed the Brightline
We all have to find joy even if it’s frustrating at times 💙
There’s a part of me that wants to understand the thought process. Like what makes you think you can be so public facing and maintain such a secret? Seems so high risk but they keep at it. I guess the draw has to be “I want to join the biggest group of people trained to not believe their eyes.”
God im so sick of influencers
Lumping in Cherokee and Jackson alone has me dying
“So in class today you learned about how Big Balls was beaten up by teens in DC so the national guard was deployed and took over the capital and then the revolution really started when the 1st sub was thrown at authorities leading to more people throwing regional sandwiches at cops in the streets…”
I’m just realizing “pelting someone with cooter” has a very different meaning if you don’t know that it’s turtle
Back home would probably mean pelting someone with gator tail or cooter. I’d say Seminole pumpkin fry bread but I would never waste it.
Wawa country nailing fascists with gobblers is kind of peak
“Hit ‘em with a bag of Dick’s” has so much merch potential
If someone nailed Ron DeSantis with a chicken tender PubSub right in the mush knocking him off his lifts and lil boots I might actually pee myself
What an eff you. Iceberg lettuce all up in their face exploding. “Eat fresh bitch.”
Throwing a sandwich at someone is so iconic
Good Vibes in Miami Great vibes, even www.thedrawplay.com/comic/good-v...
Arancini’s on wheels? Sign me the fuck up.
My niece just calls everyone girl/girlie at this point. Which is probably half my fault bc bitch is a term of endearment in this house for everyone. Straight up misgendering maliciously is so stupid and lazy. Like JFC have some basic manners or get better insults.
Disney Prime Video + 