if you are looking at something i posted and going hey what the, it is probably a fake thing that i made i also make the comic strip grassy valley https://grassyvalley.thecomicseries.com
3,637 followers 461 following 5,083 posts
view profile on Bluesky
raeofsunshine: Hey I just started using a new word. Gruntle! Like a mix between grunt and grumble :) fighterlionpriest: gruntle is my god given name and it means angel warrior king monkwildcatsoldier: i think it means angel warrior king pantherwisemanknight: attn fam: it means angel warrior king
This teacher would also take my stuff (calculator, neon green pencil with my name on it), use it, walk around with it, forget where it came from, and set it down somewhere across the room. And I would have to raise my hand and be like hey man can I go get my stuff you put over there for some reason
as long as you’re distributing birthday party invitations (which maybe the birthday girl worked really hard on the night before on the computer, trying to make them look like a stereo equalizer) to the intended recipients, you should get teacher of the year
I invited everyone in both home rooms to my 12th birthday and made a huge mistake asking the other home room teacher, who in retrospect was high out of his mind 24/7, to distribute invites to his class. I found out later that he passed out 1 invite, to the mysterious 6 ft tall boy, and no one else
🪩🐔
omg this looks very beautiful 😌
Mom: Hey. I know you’re only 12, but I’m so impressed with how mature you are. And I know your friends look up to you! Me, itching to get upstairs to google more spells to make boys fall in love with me: ya :) hey how early should I get up if I have to collect morning dew from a four-leafed clover?
Things are worse than ever. Donations have slowed down… but the suffering hasn’t. My family is still stuck in northern Gaza — in a red zone, under constant danger — and we can’t afford to evacuate. I’m trying everything I can to save them. I don’t want to lose anyone. 💔💔🙏🙏💔💔 GFM: gofund.me/f116bf44
you kill mine and I’ll kill yours. what are the chances we just met on this train
fun
oh! I love this a lot
lmao you’re so right. im sure I could go on there right now and find like 16 of them in red, fur-lined coats
Headline: The Writing on the (Facebook) Wall: Zoomers Abandoning App in Droves Comment: as gen X I imprinted on tv like mommy. Kraft dinner was daddy. brother? pair of sneakers tossed over power line. Grandma? corn can
I’m the hot who from Whoville I hope you love my amazing style
in the one for meta AI, the guy uses it to tell him that school gets out in 15 minutes (maybe he has a disease where he can’t look at clocks) and to remind him that a goldfish is yellow and white.
he’s thinking about France animals
experiencing astrology calls upon many strong emotions
Des Animaux Incroyables 🦈🐄🐎 grassyvalley.thecomi...
Des Animaux Incroyables 🦈🐄🐎 grassyvalley.thecomi...
where do all the chip clips go. ive got chips sharing clips in there. they’re putting on a brave face for mommy but i can tell it bothers them. my great shame
im sorry to say that namesearching pays off (thank you)
always stumbling upon people that are like, “Guess the liquor store clerk has never heard of FORGETTING YOUR ID AT HOME. god forbid I get something NICE!” and they have 800 replies like, “I’m so sorry miranda you don’t deserve that :/ one day I hope to be in a position to physically save your life”
Me: “Yeah this is called a ‘cellphone.’ We can use it to listen to your favorite song if you want. Maybe trumpeters play like a jingle when the king is coming? Or you probably sing when you’re like, laboring. Toiling.” 1300s guy: has already killed me painlessly with implements from his hearth
me too now that I’m awake. there was a flying tiger in the one i was doing
absolutely; flash death has personally fucked me in so many ways
no i actually think they were MEANT to be totally silent, which is also funny
Took a nap and dreamed that Grassy Valley was actually a series of videos, and the app I was using to edit them was adding horrible butt rock background music, which I only noticed after publishing
i used to think posting was hard but now i hoot posts out my ass
(scraping the bottom of the barrel for posts) Hey! Who put this.. Who made this remote sandwich! lol! The frickin living room.. the frickin Living Room Giant?!?
i had a whole slew of horse ones that might as well be real
the alt text tag used to be on the other side so I had to switch corners
The clip-clop of horseshoes, is the closest we can come, to the sound of an angel’s beautiful harp
Beautiful post
seems like you have one of the worst accounts on here congrats
hahaha nooooo! 🤮
I don’t think they should be able to use the real iPhone ringtones and alarm sounds in movies and TV. It’s like when you say “vet” or “bath” around a dog.
lol fuck. too late! that’s how it is now!
the dailup sound was a protection spell the computer said for us every time we went online but we thought we were too good for it. we wanted to be on the phone and the computer at the same time. we wanted to be on the phone and the computer at the same time and now we’re fucked
maybe when two ghosts pass in the hall they are like omg we looked so opaque just then so embarrassing
i think they are just kind of a mist like smoke. there are all kinds of mists
ghosts can set them off, I’m sorry to say
almost exact same, and then COVID changed everything. but I’m not originally from LA, so I think it’s 🙃 you know
When I go to the email zoo and see the emails in their habitat: wow, so cute. protect emails. When emails are loose and whirring around my head all day every day: exterminate emails. email-free ecosystem
I think it is sort of satanic that I can see emails within a few seconds of waking up. You used to have to go to the email room
this here is a big one im afraid
I'm sorry I'm late. I've been giving birth to Daddy. — Dadmommy
ah could have fooled you!
i didn’t know this
Presumably, Chet Hanks lives with his dad, Tom.
Me: bud can you stop eating grass please My dog, who has no concept of “eating,” only the constant exchange of sustenance and energy among all living things, not least of which, the unassuming blade of grass, which in its humility, communes directly with the sun: 🙂 ?
noooo are they going to be okay??
Me: bud can you stop eating grass please My dog, who has no concept of “eating,” only the constant exchange of sustenance and energy among all living things, not least of which, the unassuming blade of grass, which in its humility, communes directly with the sun: 🙂 ?
After successfully pairing my phone to a new Bluetooth device: Women 🥹 Women can do anything 🥲
Me: Anyway, I’ve gotten really good at catching the rats and they are starting to use the latrine I’ve built. I don’t know what they do during the day, but it seems like they go out and get in fights with other rat battalions Martha Stewart: wow
posting like a bitchier @prefectbeanis.bsky.social
This is like when your weirdest coworker who you try your best to avoid accidentally finds out where your band is playing
bitch right now you have the clout beauty filter on. you better open up the front facing camera of clout. on the camera app native to your clout phone
if you got a couch that look like jeans,, Baby! you might just be jeans lover
ive been saying
it’s like something someone would say. i think.
hazMATT28: banned from reptilichat for asking if a worm is a snake 😎 martinaontherocks: fr explain how it’s not 😛 geazzygeoff: lol! your just trying to learn haha gruntler: if this is the life you pretend to lead, i would hate to see the pallid hues of your real one
verdict: entity of unknown demonic status
90% of the emails I receive: We f*ck3d up. BIG TIME. All of our customer data has been leaked to evildoers and we 👏 own 👏 that 👏 And call us old fashioned, but we think it’s our DUTY to our loyal customers to offer 5% off your next order. Because that’s just what we believe in. Me: ooh thank you 😌
Yeah so we’re farming these new animals called nutrigores (awesome name lol). They taste pretty bad and are bad for you and each one drinks 300 gallons of water a day lol. So basically, how are you incorporating nutrigores into your dietflow? Keep in mind that sometimes a guy will want to date one
ok then maybe
we always need to be doing something about the haters. we can’t let them get away with it
Every music headline: Marguerite Mignon gives haters the brush-off in wry new single, Bush Comb
(Okay for this you have to know that the stress your hair experiences when wet is called hygral fatigue) Yeah, with all the women I went to middle school with who are getting roped into MLMs, I’M getting hi girl fatigue!!
The bank app is telling me to "tap & pay like a boss😏" and "rally my crew". I am 37 years old and you are the bank. Don't talk to me this way.
no one would ever say u r bad 😌
I don’t think it’s helpful when a person or corporation is “canceled” and people are like, “Well he was never funny.” “The food always sucked anyway.” Idk I think we should set the example of sacrifices that sting a little bit. Get people to flex the muscles of inconvenience.
Me: Hello Fun alien who is about to help me learn heartwarming lessons about myself and humanity at large: I heard you have something down here called Smirnoff Ice Black Cherry
Funneling culture into one boring, tacky aesthetic language, elevating the same gross, reactionary point of view at every turn, allowing dull people to take credit for creativity they had no hand in I don’t even have to say its name for you to know what I’m talking about: Cards Against Humanity
🧮🐜
yeah, it must really sting when he hears that. ow owie
I just learned how Ralph Fiennes spells his name (not really; I’ve known about it for a long time. but just go with it.) What the. Huh? With the L? Puh-lease. And how he used to be pretty hot as well? That is so. Wha?
🎹👒🧸
This one’s for the doers 🛠️ The brewers 🍻 The part of the crewers 👯♂️ For makeouts 💋 And fakeouts 🏀 Tonight, let’s do takeouts! 🥡 For every day, However you play, It’s gotta be…. Ray. R a y t h e o n
lmao I gotta save this for later I can’t wait
trying to not visibly crack up at Bill’s mouth and Tom’s mouth because we are presently getting updates about our niece being born. I am literally doing the 🤭 I’m literally 🤭
they don’t let Americans have that. they send the It Follows monster after us if we try to get that
Chippy…. Jim uhhh…. Chimpy Chewart 😌 perfect
Now don’t get me wrong. I love a salt and vinegar chip. I love food to pain me. But I don’t want a department of transportation truck to de-ice the highway of my mouth
No one is ready to admit this, but part of the reason a thick, folded kettle chip is so good is because the surface area inside the fold isn’t salted, thereby reducing the overall saltiness to a perfect level, spitting in the face of our oversalty, sodium fiend world
🍐🪽
what are you going to do in there
lmao well it basically is a talisman at this point! I’ve never had to use it! maybe that’s how it works all along…
when he had COVID in 2020 I heard my neighbors absolutely erupt in cheers and I was like 😨 but then I realized the NBA finals were on lol
I got the straw that gets rid of hiccups and I’ve never had the hiccups since getting it. The hiccups are scared of the straw. Congrats on no caffeine; it’s so tough!
Guys that go to Starbucks and make a big show about not knowing what they call their sizes go home and then their wives are like, “make love to me,” and they’re like, “I don’t know what that is. I only know about FUCKING,” and then they do it and they’re the only people on earth who are truly happy
Leaving a flirtatious note on a bar napkin, signed with a lip print. Made with lipstick? You’d be mistaken. It’s the permanent orange glaze imparted by my prodigious consumption of Buldak 2X Spicy Ramen, that reveals an alarming attitude toward personal care and, frankly, a disregard for life
you have no idea how annoying i looked when I was 21. i went to college in the 2010s, the worst era for fashion in perhaps all of history
Fabulous Answers to a Bunny’s Query grassyvalley.thecomi...
Fabulous Answers to a Bunny’s Query grassyvalley.thecomi...
🦎
‼️
