If it comes to it, I will. But Iām doing my damndest to make sure it doesnāt come to that.
Struggling to stay kind when faced with stupidity. š§š
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If it comes to it, I will. But Iām doing my damndest to make sure it doesnāt come to that.
Iām going to be honestā¦ this one could actually distract me from the Epstein files so yall are going to need to keep me honest.
When you are marrying and divorcing your relatives, the bench wonāt be deep.
Honestly, itās nice to see someone in the administration has seen The West Wing. Like Sean, I also enjoy the Alan Alda/Jimmy Smits campaign.
Chips?!?! Fighting words!
Iām not doing the āitās about holding people accountable!ā discourse when Tapper puts out the next book.
Fun fact: car owners can use public transit.
Iām going to guess we need to know because itās the terms of Deionās contract with Depend.
I know itās a slippery slope but thatās one job where I might prefer AI over the human.
Yeah, the other ones are funny. That oneās kinda gross.
Iām not joking when I tell you my brain first recognized usable as unstable.
I expect that some tariffs might remain but many will be reduced/removed.
Is this the fastest non in-game cold take? Itās got to be.
This is a real photograph of Washington, DC this week, where the United States president has ordered military occupation in peacetime, and ordered the display of colossal portraits of himself. www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
Yes, my understanding from Facebook mom groups is that vaccinated kids have āno lifeā in their eyes.
Honestly, good for this guy because heās clearly not on TikTok.
Has anyone noticed that, since I said āFEW PEOPLE CAN TALK ABOUT OR NAME SONGS OFF HER ALBUMS SINCE LIKE 1989,ā sheās no longer āHOT?ā
I mean, come on man, save it for November sweeps.
I feel like pandering left is going to go worse for him than pandering right did.
Well, he got that big Cracker Barrel logo win.
Imagine having flooding in your state and the governor sends the National Guard to pick up trash outside a museum in Washington DC.
Even his expression is like āJFC, have some self respect.ā
Oh, thank goodness. He almost went two weeks without a golf trip.
BREAKING: Ghislaine Maxwell becomes first American who has never witnessed Donald Trump behave inappropriately in any way.
Honestly, I donāt think any of them care enough about soccer to target. I think itās just their random destruction
Itās been so long that I read something so uncomfortable and thought āI must read more of thisā but yeah, this one did it.
So what heās saying is we could and should be hating on Bayless more.
Iām still waiting for them to articulate what is woke about the new branding.
I donāt find it ugly but it is plain and corporate. Odd decision.
Newsom Kelly Clarksonād Trump.
Again, these are part time jobs. So if you canāt respect people needing a job to supplement their legislative income, then what youāre saying is that Texans can only be represented by the independently wealthy.
This isnāt even logical. There is no hope in slavery.
Sean, ngl, I thought the same thing in 2016!
Something/someone is polling well? Time for handwringing!
Texas State Legislature is also a part time gig so many of them have jobs that require their attention.
Her painting costume is cute.
āNever heard of her before todayā is sending me because you know sheās so pissed off by that but also knows she canāt react to it.
As usual, sheās wrong.
Ah, that must be the tweet that spurred the āI get the joke, itās just not funnyā whine.
Uh huh.
Creeping back up? Try wasnāt ever under ššš
I thought this was an unfunny joke but after he explained, I genuinely donāt know what it was.
āDad wouldnāt let us in the pool with himā is maybe the one true sign that Logan loved his children in the whole series.
Letās award Melania the Nobel Peace Prize.
Sheās not married. She adopted as a single mother.
Republican doesnāt want Democrats to engage in retaliatory gerrymandering. Wild.
Honestly, this showcases how horribly trained these agents are. We know they donāt train them well bc they donāt care about the ppl theyāre restraining but these guys had no clue that a fucking tow truck pulled up and hitched up their vehicle. No wonder attacks are up. They have 0 survival skills.
He might need to release the Epstein files to distract from the Russia summit
He was wearing shoes.
The silent nodding ššš
And even the Fox News reporter agreed! I mean, Iām sure theyāll get their talking points soon but even they couldnāt pretend without a state provided script.
Fuck, weāre going to invade Mexico, arenāt we?
Newsom can't be President because he's an asshole with bad politics but he can absolutely goad the current President into doing dumb and loud shit and there is no greater need in the moment than a loathsome fuck to anger and annoy the other loathsome fuck
Iām worried that it continues to make Dems unpopular. And while I donāt really care about their popularity, I do want to see people turn out and vote in the midterms.
Where are people getting all this dildo money that theyāre willing to leave them on the streets and throw them on basketball courts?
There was a news story about a bunch of people on Long Island heckling Mamdani at an event there. Besides the racist remarks to āgo homeā, do you know the other chants?ā āCur-tis! Cur-tis!ā Itās Republicans that are making the spectacle and you aināt getting them. Donāt lose your voters Hakeem.
When they get these jobs, do they get protective detail in the form of a driver? Because if Jeanine and Pete arenāt driving themselves around, thatās a tiny silver lining for everyoneās safety.
This doesnāt surprise me. The NFL had 72 of the top 100 ratings in 2024, which was up from 71 in 2023. Streaming numbers surpassed cable and broadcast for the first time ever in May. Losing the NFL would be a massive blow.
God, Neil Young is so cool.
No. No one should be imprisoned for having an opinion. You arenāt entitled to service in a private establishment.
Leaving any sporting event by car terrifies me. How is it that no one is attending Sox games yet the parking lot is a standstill for an hour at 10:30pm?!
Trump: "Last month, I signed one big beautiful bill and allowed no tax on Social Security for our great seniors." (This was not in the bill.)
Tom Cruise: āListen, I know what people are willing to look past and itās a lot but itās not everything.ā
Instead of enjoying parades, fireworks, and family cookouts, the GOP wants you to spend the 4th in a Buffalo Wild Wings.
Wait, I thought Cuomo was corrupt? Wasnāt he found to be interfering with the anti-corruption committee?
Okay I looked it up & Brittany Murphy was on it as was Jason Marsden, so now you know it was a xennial sitcom
Yes! It either started as āThe Torkelsonsā and became āAlmost Homeā or vice versa. And wasnāt Brittany Murphy involved or did I make that up?
I truly donāt understand. Mamdani is more left than me. If I was a NYC voter, I would vote for him, no question. The reality is that in order to get things done, heāll have to shift a little anyway so whatās the big deal anyway for more moderate Dems?
That NYT subhead is great. āRich people will do the best in a bad economy!ā
Imagine being Eric Adams and reading this.
When heās putting his money (both literal and figurative) where his mouth is, I am happy to take a gander.
āI didnāt forget Valentines Day baby! I was going to buy you lingerie but TERFs wouldnāt let me!ā
Theyāre crowing about the Dems incredibly low approval ratings but actually, itās wrong bc the Dems are so popular that people will crowd buses to travel the country.
Has JD Vance achieved anything as VP in six months? Because we learned last election about high expectations for those in that critical position to show solid accomplishments.
He literally had an affair in the past twelve months.
I know billionaires are part of the reason weāre here but a man who stands on business, cares about his constituents/country, and know Boers & Bernstein lore will get my vote for president.
I think thatās what it is. She knew heād yank this away and she decided she would prefer to look like an idiot than an asshole. Having a backbone was never an option.
Wut
Wild conjectures. Come on.
There isnāt a change. During the campaign, the focus was first on Biden and then picking apart Kamalaās laugh and Timās vacations. Less distractions now.
Orlando Bloom Spotted At Dinner With Angela Merkel theonion.com/orlando...
Theyāre going to cut a deal with Canada. The same Canada they just jacked tariffs up on because of imaginary Canadian fentanyl gangs?
+5,000 hospitality in July is terrifying
What did Sterling do that was awful?
Nancy Pelosi is like, 103. Sheās already enriched. Find a different talking point.
Rex Tillerson was right. And also, Iād bet real money that Rex Tillerson voted for Trump in 2024.
I read his name as Malarkey.
Can someone fact check for me? Are the New York Young Republicans actually an āinfluential political clubā?
But Laura Loomer said she wouldnāt feel safe with Mamdani holding office so Dems canāt endorse him and risk losing Loomer fans!
It will take their procurement department about two weeks to negotiate the new McKinsey contract plus 8 weeks of fact gathering, a month for approvals, six weeks for commsā¦ Iāll take 5 months.
āGuys, can we stop wasting time on my relationship with a predator and instead get back to how Iām tanking the economy?ā
I donāt know if this true. I think prior to getting The Tonight Show, he was considered funny. Iām fairly certain Letterman & Stern have said as much. But heās also been a guy who wants to get ahead and being tepid is what has given him the most fame and money.
It really is a shame. Is there some reason we cant have windmills visible from other holes?
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I was a Republican up through Romney so I always think āIām not really that leftā but elected Dems are always making me question that by staying right of me.
A reporter for The Hill wrote on X that Lee said he deleted his post āout of an abundance of cautionā because he was not sure if the letter was legitimate.ā Oh, good thing heās cautious.
Kimmel debuted in 2003 so Letterman did compete against him for a decade. But honestly, TV habits have changed so much that Colbertās retention is impressive.
It does sound more articulate than he does now but it was written over 20 years ago.