“Only part of my house is on fire.” - Dementia Don
Chief Production Assistant to Mr. Liam NissanTM. Cop motor, cop tires, cop suspension, cop shocks. Hates Illinois Nazis. Don’t try to argue with me. I am a CAR for chrissakes, and my 8-track/onboard SCMOD computer is state-of-the-art in 1980.
17,263 followers 523 following 9,331 posts
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“Only part of my house is on fire.” - Dementia Don
Convicted felon says what?
Derp!
“I ain’t buying no Nazi robot!” - Almost Everyone
Throw that at my open mouth!!!!
HahHahHahHahahabaha!!! It will NEVER get old.
Sophisticates!
“There is an endless supply of dispshit chucklefucks.” - Liam NissanTM
Empty your pockets. I am always here for you Lisa.
Give me all your money and let check that you are probably right.
Sorry, our contest has ended. But don’t be sad. I’ll be drunk again someday. Soon.
Sorry, our contest has ended. But don’t be sad. I’ll be drunk again someday. Soon.
Sorry, our contest has ended. But don’t be sad. I’ll be drunk again someday. Soon.
Also I’d bet $5,000,000 and a half tank of nitrous that Cuomo is on the Epstein List.
You can you not love this guy? He reminds me of everyone’s favorite teacher.
It’s not the heat. It’s the stupidity.
I want EVERYBODY in the streets tomorrow!!! Fuck these Nazis!!!!
Hold me closer Tony Danza!!!
I’m her favorite grandson. Or so I keep telling her.
I TOLD you that my Mee Maw Thelma is still alive.
Definitely gonna need more nitrous Anna!
More cans!!!
Bitter Jesus drinks a lot. So his aim is total shit. You’ll all be fine.
I think you should wipe them all off the face of the Earth, except for @peachiikimaf.bsky.social
Gat dam #TruthHurts
Every single day.
I’m sorry I ran away. The new phone books were here.
Did somebody call me?
Man … they shot the wrong Kennedys.
I love you Jana. Never forget that.
“Is Tots and Pears looking for a washed up actor?!” - Tiny-dick broken hand Dean Cain
But how will he get any acting roles with a wittle broken hand? Oh wait. He doesn’t get any acting roles before HAND.
You’re always welcome here @themotleybeast.com #TeamLiamNissanTM
Don’t make me break your watch @themotleybeast.com
I’m sorry StrangeBrickThug. You’re always welcome here. @strangebrickdroog.bsky.social #TeamLiamNissanTM
Also I have vandalized many CyberSucks. So I know what a burning “car” looks like.
I’m sorry. I didn’t get a video in your post. It must be an error on your end because my 8-track radio/onboard SCMOD computer is state-of-the-art in 1980.
Grandpa! Your tariffs are now officially illegal. Finish your pudding cup. It’s time for bed. #DementiaDon
Welcome to my world. A gallon short and a mile late.
How dare you, sir?!!! I am a D-list celebrity with a $10,000-a-week nitrous oxide “hobby”!!!
You are truly the Bluesmobile to my Gary Gulman.
There’s a little tag on his pants that matches the tag on his shirt.
Wait, hold on. Someone needs to get me a drink and THEN explain this to me.
Someone needs to explain this to me.
I’m a D-list celebrity with a new porn tape you you should definitely NOT watch If anything, Draven, you’re my fan.
No Dewey!!! You don’t want this!!!
That’s good advice. Please send me an invoice and label it. “legal fees. “
“I had a friend of mine. They called him four eyes. Then he got glasses And they called him eight eyes.” — Probably Rodney Dangerfield
Yeah. They definitely shot the wrong Kennedys.
They have both kinds of music there.
It’s a boy!!!!
Come onBeard. I love you man. I can’t insult you. Neither of you.
Look, It’s 8:30 in D.C. and I am almost as drunk as Pete Hogbreath. So please reply to this post to be complemented and/or insulted. But please hurry. I’m seeing double.
Poor Gary. I am clearly his most annoying fan.
Just look, whatever you do, don’t go to ChatGPT and ask it for “some Gary Gulman style jokes.” You will be so disappointed. @garygulman.bsky.social
Don’t be upset. It’s unusually tough crowd tonight.
Boooo! !!!Get off the stage!!!
Oklahoma!!!!
Clearly you need to visit her torture dungeon. Her skin is so soft and tight. And Mistress Peachii hits like a 20-year-old.
How DARE you sir!? @peachiikimaf.bsky.social is not that old. She’s, like, not even 30ish.
Dammit Jeff! You just made me laugh so hard that I ACCODENTALLY swerved into a group of Nazis. Please stop by HR and tell them you’ve been promoted. #TeamLiamNissanTM
Actually, I think I’m an F-list celebrity. As in: “oh Fuck, here he comes.”
AND my cigarette lighter is broken.
Yeeeeaaaa, sorry Jeff. I have bad news for you here at the end of the day…
Outstanding work Jeff Deroshia! Employee of the month!!!! #TeamLiamNissanTM
I’m a D-list celebrity with a $10,000 per week nitrous oxide addiction.
“The mulch is 100% deported immigrants.” - Kristi Gnome
Not even with your dick, madame. @pedersen74.bsky.social #TeamLiamNissanTM
Chat had not even ONE mention of my endless love for nitrous oxide and @peachiikimaf.bsky.social FAIL!
Hey!
UPDATE Go head and ask AI the following: “Can you write some jokes in the style of the Bluesmobile on blue sky?” The results were so overwhelmingly cringe that my tailpipe clenched shut. I am shocked at how totally lame ChatGPT is. @garygulman.bsky.social
Actually, it’s from IKEA. So get ready to spend the weekend drinking heavily and swearing at IKEA!!!!
I am going into labor! Day weekend with hopes of giving birth to MASS PROTESTS all weekend long.
Every single other President: “I work for the American people.” Dementia Don: “I can do what ever I want.”
Seriously though, you know I love your stuff. I listen to it all the time.
Do you remember when RepubliKkkans were freaking out because Obama signed 220 Executive Orders during his presidency? They were screaming “OBAMA THINKS HE IS A KING!!” Dementia Don has already signed 383 SO FAR, and has literally said multiple times “I’m the President, I can do whatever I want.”
Thank you so much. This totally reminded me that I need to buy boots and pants.
Even God was tempted to punch that stupid fucking face.
bsky.app/profile/dawn...
Put the knife down Honey.
“We should get some hard working immigrants to do this job! Oh wait, we deported all the hard-working immigrants. So I guess WE are the cheap labor now .” - Every Single National Guard Member, Even the Incredibly Dumb Ones
Let’s try anyway, Lavender Thug. Just be gentle this time.
I am hatefully racist against all kiwis after the final season of Conchords.
Literally NOTHING can overcome ignorance and racism. Except for death.
“This is exactly what I signed up in the National Guard to do!!!” - Absolutely No One
She’s as weak as Dementia Don’s tiny dick. That’s another Senate seat that was surely flip to a Democrat
She knows she has zero chance of winning. I’m sorry to tell her that “everything dies, including your mediocre Senate career.”
Inspirational!
