Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
It's a small club, but you're all scarred in it.
Screenwriter, novelist, podcaster, comedian. Putting the 900 in 1900HOTDOG. https://linktr.ee/killyourimaginaryfriend linktr.ee/brockwar
2,887 followers 176 following 536 posts
view profile on Bluesky Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
It's a small club, but you're all scarred in it.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Thank YOU. The duology absorbed my whole brain and let me escape the boring apocalypse for a much more fun one.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Oh hey it's new Delilah Dawson Day too! You're going broke today. But that's okay, I'm right there with you.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I've been getting black magic spam, I really think spam is upping its game these days.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Come explore my origin story, spoiler alert: It's Mickey Rooney trapped in a cube.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Me and mclusky have been doing a delicate dance over the decades, where I move and they do a show in the town I just left. Finally, it looks like I'll catch them. Military occupation pending.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh, easy. Watch season two of 30 Coins.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Do yourself a favor and pick up Coffin Moon by @keithrosson.bsky.social. While you're at it, grab Fever House and The Devil By Name. Lean, vicious neo-noir horror at its best. Plus he's another Portland degen, you gotta support your Portland degens. bookshop.org/p/books/coff...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Hooters is the perfect place to meet Frank Dux in the wild.
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
Want to watch @seanbaby.bsky.social, @brockway.bsky.social, and @jasonkpargin.bsky.social light up with joy as they explore the dark forest in part one of the season finale of Mountain Monsters? Check out our YouTube channel. We've got that! youtu.be/D5onHHj9dV0
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
So @michaelswaim.bsky.social continues his long tradition of putting a shocking amount of effort into joke analysis only to get reamed by algorithms. Watch his incredible movie-length video essay on Groundskeeper Willie, and help him ream back. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLMc...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Gonna hop down this manhole and fuck up a miniboss real quick.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Final day of the @barnesandnoble.com pre-order sale! Thanks to everyone for the computer help, this is the image I meant to post all along. #BNPreorder #horrorbooks #fullleatherinafield
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
🎶ooo eee eee ooo eee eee🎶
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I just don't want to go to jail for THIS crime. I've committed so many cool crimes!
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
To be clear, I'm not asking how to remove the images. I would like to hit this button even more often, if possible.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Day 2 of the @barnesandnoble.com pre-order sale! Only one day left, you better hurry. Also if anyone good at Photoshop could tell me what button I'm hitting that keeps putting these unrelated background images in there, I'd appreciate it. www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-will-kil...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Think it was a meat party!
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
@brockway.bsky.social, and guest Mark Mahoney explore @seanbaby.bsky.social's mysterious origin story this week on our video podcast. This will be a series if you survive the first one! youtu.be/6bCw7L-Uyko
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Thanks! But the audio deal's already done, order link just isn't live yet.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Hey @barnesandnoble.com is having their massive pre-order sale from now until the weekend! Background pic unrelated. I don't even know how it got there. #BNPreorder #horrorbooks #jauntycabhat
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Couldn't if I tried.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
You look at that thing and you assume it's lived a single day of its life without diarrhea?
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Priest kicks ass in a way we rightfully outlawed.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
That's how it's pronounced.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
This definitively proves that two hundred million people all simultaneously focusing their ill will on a single point cannot make a man's head explode, Scanners-style.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Sorry I missed your birthday party/album release, Goonie Jay. I hope you had a good birthday. I hope you didn't cum, which I understand is the goal.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
If nobody's going to write the hillbilly cryptid Succession story this implies, I'll do it.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
New footage of Trump partying at Mar-a-Lago just dropped.
merritt (@merrittk.com) reposted
buy my book or ill shoot you with an evil gun merrittk.itch.io/vampirocene
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
That's how you know it's good!
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
It's going to take a week of starvation but it's going to be worth it.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Every month @seanbaby.bsky.social and I are supposed to cooperate on an article and it's frankly astonishing it took so long to spiral into a cycle of endless violence.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
A LOT of CHiPS is complete madness.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Would.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
CHiPS Force Seven was a backdoor pilot in the last season of CHiPS that tried to spin off NO existing characters into a show about ninja cops with racist puppets. It's maybe my favorite thing.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Honestly though, more energy drinks should advertise using tragedy. I don't want to know if Red Bull can get me through the work day, I want to know if it can get me through losing my family to a gas leak.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I appreciate the confidence but you were right the first time.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I feel most things under legal duress.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
The real hero.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Yep, not announced officially yet but it'll be available release day.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Anyway, I just wanted to add that I'm excited to be working with Page Street, I’m overjoyed at how this book turned out, and I’m warning you kids for the last time that all you’ll find up there is blood and darkness.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Page Street even let me use the author photo where I just had my eyes dilated, so it looks like I can see through time. Horror authors do not want to look handsome, we don’t want to look pretty, or smart, or dignified. What we really want is to look like we’ve just seen a prophecy of your doom.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
And it doesn’t end at the cover, order now and you get a special bonus goblin princess! She’s such a minor character in the book, but I adore this art. Her nasty, idiot joy really steals the show.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh, but we are not here to judge a book by its content. Look at that gorgeous cover! Those sprayed edges! That’s how books wear tuxedos. Better pre-order I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200 right now, because it has a gala to get to later.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
It’s cover reveal day for I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200! A book about nostalgia, grief, digital brainrot, the loneliness epidemic, and the boundless, breathless power of a child’s imagination, but mostly about beating puppets to death with your bare fists. linktr.ee/killyourimag...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
New @jamiekellyxxx.bsky.social jam dropped! Oh, I guess a new episode of our show is attached. Maybe that's some kind of mistake?
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
I get this a lot, and I think there's some confusion: Every single time an author plugs their book, they want you to buy another copy. You should have about fifteen copies of my new book by now, and roughly seven hundred by next year when it releases. Here's #16. bookshop.org/p/books/i-wi...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Fair, I'll take this hit and try to do better.
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
On our video podcast this week @brockway.bsky.social, @seanbaby.bsky.social, and @youknowlydia.bsky.social will be talking about Zorann: Star Warrior just like on the audio podcast, but on YouTube, the third word of every sentence is the key to a riddle. youtu.be/lbrW9ZJNGkg
merritt (@merrittk.com) reposted
my book's on kindle now if you're into that sort of thing! www.amazon.com/dp/B0FMSD5TSH
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
New Red Sonja movie totally cuts the karate child and his long-suffering oaf? Bad. Mistake. Injustice. Bring back the oafs. Release the oaf cut.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I don't think this is spam. I'd like to know more about Incan dong magic.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Your spam: Weak, beta, pills exploiting insecurities and phishing scams based on societal fears. My spam:
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
At the end of every day, I will eat what I have destroyed and hire a team of special effects designers to reproduce it all. In this way I will be environmentally sustainable and create jobs. There is such a thing as ethical capitalism.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
When I get rich instead of turning into a fascist and making everyone's lives miserable I'm going to build my house and all my furniture out of sugar glass so I can smash through everything like the Hulk.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I cut the extra bit where he holds his bloody fists to the sky and screams for a medic.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
We talk about that new War of the Worlds disaster, and @jasonkpargin.bsky.social was right when he said we had no idea it already went viral. I'm sorry about this, and I promise we won't do anything topical that may lead to the success of our site and livelihoods for at least another year.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
VH1 Behind the Music Narrator: ...lost in a world of chaos and pursued by his own personal demons, things looked dire for Meat Loaf. Stock Footage Editor: No problem, boss. Got like a thousand hours of this.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
🎶APE LAAADY🎶
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
You can also see the sweet faces of Bigfeet's many co-hosts @brockway.bsky.social, @seanbaby.bsky.social , and @jasonkpargin.bsky.social on our YouTube channel. If you like to stare at people while they podcast, this is the link for you. www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9SR...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
That's the Predator's full name. His first name is The Predator. His last name is From The Hit Movie Predator.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Just heard a sentence that was something along the lines of "shit, shit don't always mean shit - sometimes shit is just shit" and it made perfect sense. Language is beautiful. Or fucking stupid. Or probably both.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Come listen to me inflict the worst 1990s portrayal of VR I've ever seen on two souls who deserve better.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I'm so glad somebody gets it.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
This is what I want everyone to do! Has that not been clear?
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
The one that just sings this song over and over? That was supposed to be a GIFT. youtu.be/8WYCrFWgJgY?...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Just got word the launch of my new book, I Will Kill Your Imaginary Friend for $200, has been pushed back a week. It's working, we've sold enough books to keep me out of prison for another week! linktr.ee/killyourimag...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
We've had our differences but I appreciate you trying to keep me out of federal book prison by promoting my book.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
You're damn right.
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
Well this is the tale of a podcast that's about expository theme songs, with @zakkoonce.bsky.social, the skipper too (@brockway.bsky.social is the skipper), the millionaire and his wife, the professor and @seanbaby.bsky.social, here in the DoggzZone. soundcloud.com/1900hotdog/d...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
We didn't realize it at the time, but YouTube removed our ability to post links because it thinks we're a sketchy channel. I was going to file an appeal but then we posted this episode, and it seemed like a fair judgment.
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
@seanbaby.bsky.social, @brockway.bsky.social, and @jasonkpargin.bsky.social, aka The Bigfeets Boiz, are really bringing the distinguishing headgear on this week's episode of our video podcast. Also, Brockways finally plus his book! www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBve...
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
We're welcoming @merrittk.com back for a second round of Dirtbag Jeopardy. She'll go head to head against @brockway.bsky.social to see who has the most dirtbag knowledge as judged by host and Gamemaster @seanbaby.bsky.social. on.soundcloud.com/u5uJ5Mqyh37L...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I got bad eyes and have to go to the eye doc a lot, they never tell me in advance which appointments get dilation or not.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
That's my target demographic.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Love me a party squirrel. Wish they'd stop chewing my lawnmower apart to huff its gas.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I consider this focus testing.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
Took advantage of a surprise eye dilation to take my new author headshot.
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
Do you have a favorite bombing of all time? There's a singing animatronic bear with a Twitter account who sure does, and @brockway.bsky.social wrote about him this week. It's FREE! No follow up questions please. 1900hotdog.com/2025/07/lear...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I use Jamie.exe.
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
We've got @merrittk.com overload today. She's in the Doggzone playing Dirtbag Jeopardy with @brockway.bsky.social and @seanbaby.bsky.social. She's got a fantastic article up on the site. You can never have too much Merritt! on.soundcloud.com/O86sOk22BMLG...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Oh my god. That's still a thing??
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
You can gaze upon the Bigfeets Boiz, @seanbaby.bsky.social, @brockway.bsky.social, and @jasonkpargin.bsky.social like they're in a lil podcaster zoo if that's how you like to experience podcasts. Here's the link! youtu.be/WKPcgPLsXRA
1-900-HOTDOG (@1900hotdog.bsky.social) reposted
@brockway.bsky.social, @seanbaby.bsky.social, and guest @bryanstratton.com are talking Malibu comics this week in The DoggzZone. Specifically, Malibu Comics The Ferret who is not Wolverine, legally. He's also not a combination of Aquaman and a pervert (supposedly). on.soundcloud.com/wMEBjfbhvKpe...
V H US PODCAST (@vhuspodcast.bsky.social) reposted
New episode!!! @brockway.bsky.social of @1900hotdog.bsky.social joins us on Warriors Island to talk RAW FORCE!!! (It’s a good thing he had that brochure.) Check it out! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/v...
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
I'm only interested if somebody holds a gun to Fievel's head on one of the cards. That's the bar we're at now.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
This is terrible, thank you.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
And it makes me so angry!
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
I never figured I'd be involved with Cracked again, but my deep abiding love for Swaim will always overcome my general disgust with corporate scavengers. Go support Swaim's new series!
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
The best part about being on here so infrequently is this will probably be at the top of my feed for weeks.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social)
You know what? You can't have it. I've been calling henchmen "goons" longer than you've been jacking off. Get your own word, losers. I hope you cum.* *I assume that's an insult.
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Hey fuck YOU, books are for DIPSHITS.
Gamefully Unemployed (@gamefullyun.bsky.social) reposted
It is time to consume a brand new HYPECAST with special guest @brockway.bsky.social. Enjoy! SoundCloud: shorturl.at/jSqte Apple: shorturl.at/dIS2C YouTube: shorturl.at/Yc8Lj
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
GOD DAMN YOU RAPSALLION MCGILLICUDDY
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
FUCK THAT GUY
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS
Robert Brockway (@brockway.bsky.social) reply parent
Really broke this robot huh.