Seriously. Fuck off.
Lapsed Glaswegian / born again Berliner. "Enormous beard ride" ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ The Observer "Something for the dads" ⭐ ⭐ ⭐⭐⭐ People's Friend "Windows Vista® compatible" ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ Pravda https://mixcloud.com/BryanBlessed
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Fucksake.
Sounds reasonable.
Da fuq?!
Any information about what to expect from the totally live and not at all pre-recorded or in any way staged 2pm announcement yet, gang? It's going to be something pure shite, isn't it?
One of Gussie Fink-Nottle's chums from the Drones Club, I shouldn't wonder.
There's no way this can be legit and, that being the case, the lad molesting the bin lid on the right is surely the greatest comic actor of his generation.
ID cards you say?
They're just empty vessels. They've got an enormous Parliamentary majority but they have no vision whatsoever so aren't doing anything with it. Rather, they just sway in the right-wing newspapers' breeze - and currently that breeze is especially racist.
UK Home Secretary. The PM was flag shagging yesterday too. They've all gone pure cray-cray. I should stop caring now I've emigrated really...
FTFY
I forgot to *HILARIOUSLY* add "BUT DON'T MENTION THE WAUGH" to this reference. Hereafter, therefore, please consider the original post amended accordingly, as above.
Hopefully Summer's back tomorrow...
Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?
curry wiv da angles! 😢
I'm putting veg in because I'm over 40 and I like to be able to have a shite now and again and, also, I don't want to die like right now.
Naan bread = sorted. Let's cook this Curry's arse off, gang!
Mulligatawny is it. 27° here still though. #humblebrag
Not much time to marinade but time is relative to the observer and this observer observes that this marinade is totes amaze. #ScottishFood
I'm going to make Chicken Tikka Masala for dinner because I'm nothing if not extremely easily influenced.
CAT HANDS! That's it. That's the post.
Wonderful that we've gone from Americans being astonished to find out that some Scottish people are black to being astonished that some Scottish people have Indian / Pakistani heritage in the space of a week though. I feel like we're really making progress somehow.
u ok uk hun? x
Apparently I've missed some heated Chicken Tikka Masala discourse. For my part, I belatedly offer the following origin evidence from an Indian menu I ordered from in Oslo last year:
This seems important:
Hehehe Never change, Buckers.
Finnish John Wick extravagantly fucking Nazis to absolute bits for 90 minutes. I can't give it higher praise than that.
The role of Home Secretary has, for years, urgently needed a reset imho. When any public job gets into a spiral of just being demonstratively punitive, it's time to bin it. Each HS has to be seen to be stricter than the last to avoid criticism, and that's clearly neither sustainable nor healthy.
Just a quick reminder while the abandoning ECHR, Article 8 kite is being flown again: if you think you don't need statutory human rights because you've never had to formally rely on them, that's because they exist and they generally work and you're a fanny.x
Monday tho. Come on, gang! We can do this together!
Viel Spaß!
Acht. Someone's done it. Still, I stand by it.
She thinks it's a scone now. There doesn't seem to be any bun around, etc.
Meanwhile, the political classes lads on addressing the reasons so many people are fleeing their homes to head for Europe be all like:
That's my Sunday semi-serious post, gang.
At some point someone is going to have to put on a fireproof hazmat suit and *very* carefully address the class issue underlying the trendy new retro populist racism (i.e., rich cunts baiting the left-behinds with tasty grievances in the pursuit of the influence to enrich themselves further).
This seems important:
#ThoughtsAndPrayers
I tried to write a song about it because I was an annoying teenager, but I couldn't work a narrative about the Duke of Edinburgh trying to find a Paris garage open and prepared to change the wing mirror on a Fiat Uno on the weekend into a compelling rhyme scheme.
Always seemed a bit harsh to me that the poor lad was taking disapproval pelters off his lassie for having just died. Like, I'm sure he didn't do it just to annoy her.
Sucks, right? I was going to continue hanging about in bed this morning but whenever I dozed off I was dreaming about putting together a contract proposal in my office and that seemed unfair on me, frankly. That's not what sleeping in is meant to be about?!
Going back to work tomorrow after a dreamlike week off, gang. Yeah, Capitalism sucks, but they pay me with money that I can exchange for goods or services. Or sneakers.
Dunno why everyone still calls her the Peebles Princess. As far as I remember she hardly spent any time at all in the Scottish Borders, let alone that she displayed any particular affinity for the place.
Great news for fans of wacky Australian politicians who are also popular memes; Bob Katter is back and he's still angry about something or other.
Or Marathon Man, Three Days of the Condor, French Connection, Parallax View, The Long Goodbye, Chinatown, The Conversation, Rollerball, The Warriors, Dirty Harry, China Syndrome, and on and on...
I find it somewhat fascinating that some people have really pretty good work done but for others, it's a disaster - regardless of available funds. Is it the advice, the surgeon, the patient wanting too much, or is it just a lottery in terms of how your body reacts?
How did he end up cockeyed tho? One eye's looking at us and the other is looking for us.
The slow burn gag with the Japanese lads being able to speak English the whole time is an all time zinger. Terrific film generally tho. The '70s truly were a golden age for thrillers.
In Germany, bae. We don't even have wrestling on Netflix. We're living like animals over here. Nobody's painting the roundabouts tho, so...
We pay for Apple TV+, Disney+, Paramount+, Prime, Netflix, and Sky and, fine. But we can't stream Peacemaker season 2 without adding *another* paid service?! Do they actively want piracy to come back? Because it's shite like this that makes piracy come back.
Makes you think.
I need an Alien Earth x White Lotus crossover more than you can possibly ever know.
4 minutes in: I don't think this is aimed at us.
We're going to watch K-Pop Demon Hunters like all self-respecting early-middle-aged couples with no children do on a Saturday night.
21 year old you could remember what he'd seen, go to a London pub and sing the plots of the later episodes at the piano like Gary Sparrow does with Beatles songs instead of doing something useful like sharing his knowledge of the future for the betterment of humankind.
Some even say c'est magnifique, but you can be the judge of that.
Bon voyage! We were there last week and can confirm: it's pretty good.
Lol. It's funny because it's true.
Yeah. I saw. In that I wouldn't lower myself to actively wishing death on anyone and also (Moreover), the alternative is somehow potentially much worse, I don't really care. I just found the whole thing interesting to the point of being incredibly amusing.
Gang. GANG. All of his "Truth" posts seem to have been suddenly deleted. I'm imagining a Weekend at Bernie's inspired emergency meeting going on at the White House right now...
Ask how Berlin is doing...
I have *got* to stop very audibly exclaiming "JEANS AND SHOES" every time I walk past a guy wearing jeans & sheux.
Explain the matching car then. EXPLAIN THE MATCHING CAT THEN! This. Goes. Deep.
Okay! More power to you for knowing your mind. Peace, matey.x
Haw! Have some disco mixed by some Berlin-based Scottish sexpot DJ, you thoroughly lovely bastards.x
Gang. GANG. An anonymous Buffy the Vampire Slayer account on Twitter has apparently just confirmed it. It's official. We need no further proof. I'm pretty sure Walter Cronkite's ghost is running that account too.
Aw. Meh. I'm sorry.
I preferred the heavily divorced guys climbing public buildings dressed as out of shape superheroes to heavily divorced guys climbing lampposts dressed as out of shape B&M Crusaders tbqhwy. Let's go back to that timeline, please.
The divorces are going well x
Love's pure magic tho. I mean, the bit where you end up crying on the floor of your mum's kitchen afterwards is shite but the rest is fine imho.
Proof of golf.
I preferred the Shane Richie Bin lady to the Racism Toad Conservatory lady tbqhwy. Let's go back to that timeline, please.
Congratulations to President Thiel. Commiserations to all humankind.x
Is there an American Paddington?
Certified DARLIN'.
Babe.
Gang. GANG. Just getting in early on the #Caturday tag to show you the absolute state of this:
The apocalypse can't come fast enough, tbqhwy.
Someone wake me up when Channel 5 inevitably puts on a low-rent talking-heads clip show about TV in the '70s being problematic as fuck or remembrancing Anthea Turner getting blown up on the back of a lorry or whatever please...
Imagine being friends with history's second greatest monster, Cilla tho. #TotP
It's proper good fun. Shame it seemed to get so overlooked in the pictures - presumably for having come off the back of Captain America 4, which somehow cost $200m but could easily have just been a one line email. Thanks again! Best Regards Bryan
I mean, I'm not complaining, but I'm still amazed that tonight's #BBCProms is celebrating the music of Black Lace.
He was perilously close to doing Big Crab as Bane tbqhwy.
I don't want to start a panic but lovely Tom Hardy is reading the bedtime story on CBeebies.
Has science gone too far?
I'm not one for hyperbole but people people who had Amstrad CPCs are worse than Mao.
Just saw this picture of Christian Bale in 1987 on Reddit and he's got an Amstrad CPC instead of a Spectrum or a C64 and I can't respect him any more. Hard cancelled.
Makes you think.
When my dad caught me smoking heroin he made me smoke a whole carton of heroin as punishment and to put me off smoking heroin but, if anything, it just made me want to smoke a lot more heroin.
