Just spitballing here but maybe the R governor has something to do with it
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Just spitballing here but maybe the R governor has something to do with it
I don’t have any Disney subscriptions to cancel so I guess I’ll just have to cancel them in the marketplace of ideas
Triple dumb hoe babyyyyyy
Hoping to write late night monologues is pretty easily the funniest thing I’ve ever done
ME: i’m alarmed by the direction things are taking in this country! KATE MACKINNON SINGING A SOLEMN RENDITION OF THE MAN SHOW THEME: look at the cans on this chick named heather 😢
Can’t recommend enough putting on your five favorite Rage Against The Machine tracks and taking a cold shower right now
ME: i’m alarmed by the direction things are taking in this country! KATE MACKINNON SINGING A SOLEMN RENDITION OF THE MAN SHOW THEME: look at the cans on this chick named heather 😢
KIRK: hey buddy welcome REDFORD: what HACKMAN: sorry bob turns out theres no heaven OSBOURNE: were on the highway to hell OSMOND: no i do covers here HOGAN: “hell” yeah brother ARMANI: shirts deserve respect even in fury
c'est ce qui l'a fait. avant cela tout était sous contrôle
like, my man, this is why the library has printers
KIRK: hey buddy welcome REDFORD: what HACKMAN: sorry bob turns out theres no heaven OSBOURNE: were on the highway to hell OSMOND: no i do covers here HOGAN: “hell” yeah brother ARMANI: shirts deserve respect even in fury
couldn’t help but notice that this post doesn’t mention sandwiches
not now sweetie mommy hears the call to the hunt
hey my kid has a rash now too maybe you infected her
Recent events have shown that some of you have forgotten how to tell a joke. Traditionally jokes begin with a setup: “How do orchard owners react to a crisis of overproduction?” Then follows the punchline (this is where you click the like button): “They blame it on the ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-apple haul”
Meditation be like “close your eyes and focus on the five senses” okay. Floaters. Tinnitus. Knee hurts. Someone fucking farted. Why would I do this
No pets but I mostly call my daughter Geneviève “Moomug” and she answers to it
RIP us
Would anybody like to debate me about parking policy or whether or not you should be allowed to exist?
Everyone knows the best nazi was Oskar Schindler for saving all those people from the chamber, but few are aware of the second best nazi, Karl Kircher, who didn’t save anyone per se but was very open to debate about it
Recent events have shown that some of you have forgotten how to tell a joke. Traditionally jokes begin with a setup: “How do orchard owners react to a crisis of overproduction?” Then follows the punchline (this is where you click the like button): “They blame it on the ap-ap-ap-ap-ap-apple haul”
How many mean things do you think I have to say about Lee before my employer gives in to pressure and shitcans me
Everyone knows the best nazi was Oskar Schindler for saving all those people from the chamber, but few are aware of the second best nazi, Karl Kircher, who didn’t save anyone per se but was very open to debate about it
You can count on me to be civil about it either way
Would anybody like to debate me about parking policy or whether or not you should be allowed to exist?
in the next update we will change the font slightly
they literally want to round us up man. can democrats please get a fucking spine and stand the fuck up for us now? we literally cannot counter this ourselves when they want our voices and rights taken away. please do fucking something
I’ve always said I would have made a great New
🙌
Got his ass. Fuckin wafer eater
In their defense, when you finish your degree that fast you probably have to skip the logic and reasoning prereq
This is class solidarity. In case you’re at all confused.
Got his ass. Fuckin wafer eater
what’s her face is hot though. no, the other one
democrats using charlie kirk shooting as cover to betray trans people is fucking evil
How are you gonna go with Dr. King when George Wallace is right there?
(as far as we know)
I saw a whole ass phone booth last week and really regret not using it for something
The high five, a behavior so central to the human experience that my kid intrinsically did it when she was one, was invented by a gay baseball player in 1977, according to the generation that drank leaded gasoline out of the garden hose
The high five, a behavior so central to the human experience that my kid intrinsically did it when she was one, was invented by a gay baseball player in 1977, according to the generation that drank leaded gasoline out of the garden hose
Today’s teens don’t even know what you’re talking about when you bring up the chia pet commercials. They stare blankly like you made up ch-ch-ch-chia out of thin air. The teens never saw the chia head. THEY DON’T KNOW THE SONG.! And I’M deranged??
Today’s teens don’t even know what you’re talking about when you bring up the chia pet commercials. They stare blankly like you made up ch-ch-ch-chia out of thin air. The teens never saw the chia head. THEY DON’T KNOW THE SONG.! And I’M deranged??
! I've been banging this drum for months Due process is how you determine things like 'is this person a citizen' & 'did they break a law' GOP's insistence that noncitizens & lawbreakers shouldn't get due process is putting the racism-cart before the logic-horse ballsandstrikes.org/legal-cultur...
my idiot kid keeps pressing all the buttons on the “elmovator” and saying ding dong
my idiot kid keeps pressing all the buttons on the “elmovator” and saying ding dong
ngl I knew what I was looking for when I did that google image search but I’m as shocked as anybody that it struck gold so quickly
no more monk e-business
as-tu déjà rencontré un Américain ?
If they were truly my peer they wouldn’t have to share my car
Uber Driver is an older Hispanic lady named Concepcion and she is fuckin flooring it and listening to Billy Idol. 5 stars.
fuck marry kill: cloth mother, wire mother, sex mommy
One of the greatest errors in K-12 education, in my opinion, is prioritizing trigonometry and calculus over statistics. Yes, trig and calc are important for many professions. Statistics are important for literacy.
This is straight-up the bleakest shit I’ve ever seen. “Want to retire? Hope you’re a fuckin millionaire”
I’ve always said this
PERSON WHO POSTS ‘THE MATH SUGGESTS VP HARRIS SHOULD SELECT GOV SHAPIRO AS HER RUNNING MATE BECAUSE’: simple-minded dunce PERSON WHO POSTS ‘OW MY TINY DICKY AND TINIER SACK’: philosopher-king, über-cynic, the best of us, who having seen through the relentless nonsense has come to believe nothing
ow my obamahole
ow my dad cheese
ow my aftskin
ow my full penis
ow my pineapple tip
ow my gumphole
ow my one wild and precious life
ow my elevenskin
ow my labio
ow my gizzard
Ow my gumphole
ow my rrhea hole
ow my sexual penis
ow my embouchure
ow my coccccccc
ow my log and garbage truck
ow my pernis
ow my daddy dilkers
ow my omega 3 fatty ass
no more monk e-business
When I usurp the presidency I will rename the department of war to the department of america
When I usurp the presidency I will rename the department of war to the department of america
meta ai is out here asking some wild questions
Every donut is a two-bite donut if you’re a disgusting asshole
[guy whose uncle’s head just did that in the sixties] everyone was healthier in the sixties
[guy whose uncle’s head just did that in the sixties] everyone was healthier in the sixties
Every donut is a two-bite donut if you’re a disgusting asshole
Feeling dysregulated? Check your PLATH: • Perhaps your head is in the oven • Ladies’ college not all it’s cracked up to be • Ambition is not for wives • Ted is cheating on you again • Hungry
I didn’t think “70 years old” would elicit that emoji from you
Coast Guard: America’s Condom
Is there anything else you need that costs exactly $20.18?
I just think that Holly
its bone ape tit
How much is it?
12’ but this is the internet so 14’
Putting up the skeleton