Release the hounds! 3:O)>
Alces alces chocolatus Thanks to @cavyherd for the avatar. Background image from IWM Duxford. Tsundoku brown belt. If you can ping the SecUnit it's way too late
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Release the hounds! 3:O)>
The only news site that this moose will trust in future is @neorsd.org - all the others are lies and ragebait. 3:O#>
Does this mean you get ads for things like "Super Piss" antifreeze and Krapp toilet paper? ITWSBT.
Ditto here. 🍵
I'm only doing this because there's a parcel due and it may not go through the letterbox. (Also, I need to go shopping, and take pills. Oops!) 3:O|>
I use the Bill Mattocks model from the antispam days: Bill: "I'm going to pound your 'nads flat with a wooden mallet." (This moose spent far too much time in various news.admin.net-abuse.* newsgroups, back in the day - and old habits die hard.) 3:O)>
Or the Mallet of Delicate Adjustment?
Now you've reminded this moose of the "Adult Swim" Aliens Acid Blood animation... I wonder if I can find it again? Ah, here it is, enjoy: www.youtube.com/watch?v=7N0j...
I don't think it gets better afterwards, either: This moose is now 19 months into retirement (voluntary redundancy), and _still_ can't raise any enthusiasm for Doing Stuff. (I read a BBC article on Burnout in 2020 and realised $Dayjob ticked every item for what was happening.) Maybe I'll recover.
Keming strikes again!
I was thinking "R. U. Kidding", or the old favourite Haywood Jablowmie.
ObStarWars: "That's no baguette!" 3:O)>
I had to turn the heating on last week, and dry some underwear on the heated towel rail... English Summer arrived unexpectedly. 3:O((>
Still better than ShittyLink (now thankfully gone) and the Universal Parcel Smashers though.
As would Ms. Pavlichenko if she was still around.
The arrow was a reminder "Insert pointy end first"? 3:O)> "I over a broad arrow (Pheon)" means "Made in India" when it was part of the British Empire. There will be a 2-letter headstamp indicating the factory... (DF = Dum Dum Factory, KF = Kirkee Arsenal), and the last two digits of the year.
That's Yodel.
🤣🏆
No, that's when the phone rings (and it's usually a scammer). 3:O#> Parcel delivery is when it arrives mid-way through the procedure[1]. 3:O((> [1] And the delivery requires a signature. 3:O(((>
Which is why is select "pick up from local branch" as there's an M&S Food within 500 metres of Chez Moose and just across the carp ark from Morrisons. 3:O)> Royal Mail is very reliable, hitting the middle of their declared 2-hour slot (though that's probably down to Kevin the postie).
Hugs are good, the world needs more of them. (Only for people who like them, though.)
Sends good wishes, a (virtual) hot cup of tea and some of the good biscuits, and a backrub your way.
Hippo Bathday! Hope you have a great time. 3:O)>
Block 'em, Danno, Boring One! 3:O)> Blocked the first six replies to some threads, this morning, after which things settled down a little. A few friends appear to be keeping their heads down, probably to avoid aggravation.
Put that on his tombstone.
Just not his own, right?
He was on record as being opposed to it.
Self-catering.
See also: "A cut above the rest", "Jack of all Trims" - both barbers. "Vanity Furr" - dog & cat grooming "Tyred & Exhausted" - vehicle repairs. "Bodgit & Scarper" - 24Hr boarding up service (emergency glaziers). "Carter, Whey & Tippit" - rubbish removal. The last two have closed down.
That's because you're sane and sensible, and not a lunatic ChristoFascist drunk on power and corruption. 3:O)> It's so much nicer here on bSky with all the reasonable people. (All Hail the Nuclear Block!) 3:O))>
This moose (+Cow Orkers) were all at our desks in the datacentre, with a few floating managers who wanted the £2k bonus for being on-site. I think I had to fix a single bug: a script that had generated a date string of Y19100001 for a dataset name in a housekeeping job and caused a JCL error. 3:O)>
Presumably because he refuses to move? "Oi, Budge!"
(I also remember standing on the inch-thick ice that had formed over the stream in our garden during the 1963 winter. I bashed a hole in it and the stream was still running underneath, with a 3-inch air-gap under the ice!) Ob1963 (CAUTION: Stroboscopic effects)... www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl4p...
Black Jacks and Fruit Salad: 4 for 1d. This moose is old enough to have used ha'pennies, also halfcrowns and the 12-sided thruppeny bits (though not the silver 3d ones and farthings (with the wren on) that Grandma had.) "Even the nostalgia isn't as good as it used to be." (Terry Pratchett) 3:O(>
Absolutely! This moose would consider it an excellent requirement.
Yes... yes, you do. That looks to be an excellent mug, and almost holds enough tea for a moose. 3:O)>
Age verification? I still have my "Deathwatch" T-Shirt (for working over the Y2K year-change). 3:O)> I also remember petrol at 7/6d (£0.35p) per Imperial Gallon (4.54 litres) from going on holiday to Wales in a Ford Consul - and the traditional traffic jam on the A5 near Wellington. 3:O(>
But you need to be able to understand Muttley?
young man, you have killed all your sperms, I said young man, you don’t need to fear germs, I said young man, give your brain some more worms, you can eat 👏 that 👏 whale 👏 you scavenged
The little snooze.
Overton window cleaner.
Impale.
WELCOME TO PANTS
Speaking as a chocolate moose, he does come across as a little "iffy". 3:O(>
"Autocarrot" is traditional, hilarious, and bang on target. Trust a moose on this. 3:O)>
Hospital visit today, and The Fash have been "decorating" lamp posts with a mix of the "Butcher's Apron" and the Union Flag. After seeing half a dozen of the union flag the correct way up I thought "Ah, they're learning" but sadly the rest of the journey was a mix of correct and inverted. Tossers.
More effort, but a mouth with big teeth for the front, and possibly some lighting inside the engine compartment for when parked up at night. The custom car guys would have a field day with that idea. 3:O)>
No idea if it was deliberate or not, but someone in my old street was flying the version with ENGLAND on the horizontal red stripe UPSIDE DOWN. That takes skill and determination, I reckon. (Have photo somewhere...) Ah! 3:O)>
apparently, yesterday was National Hummingbird Day, and it reminded me of something I saved off the other place a few years ago - someone (I’ve lost who, sorry) made this KC-135 Hummingbird feeder! It got me thinking about a fighter-sized bird.. 1/3
May his cardboard box options be plentiful in the feline afterlife!
(Taken to its limit, an extremely large proportion of "Fine Art" and classic literature would be banned if the pressure groups had their way.)
No, because those will come under illegal content. This is an attempt to stop various "I don't like this, therefore it must be banned" pressure groups from getting perfectly reasonable art (e.g. head & shoulders portraits for use as icons, etc.) blocked and the creators forced out of business. 3:O(>
They did it for a pope, they can do it for a poop.
OTOH[1], HMOs "Houses of Multiple Occupation" are an abomination: convert each room into a 1 bed flat, with shared bathroom and kitchen, then fill it with the people parts of London have displaced (e.g. ex-prisoners, long-term unemployed, etc.) paying the local council to do it. [2/2] [1] Hoof.
Within a mile of this moose (Birmingham, UK): The old NCR building "Prime Point", Severn Trent Water offices, Delta View, and something is happening to the old "Ivy Leaf Club" (Royal British Legion). Done properly it's fine, done on the cheap... it's worse than high-rise flats. [1/2]
Recursion is good, it should be done more often. 3:O)>
Heathrow Airport has the Radisson Non-Euclidian, if you're in the UK. I'm sure there's another one in the chain known as the "Radisson Disgusting" somewhere.
The gazebo with the arrow stuck in it? 3:O)))>
Unfortunately Amazon have lost my copy (and presumably sold out) because first it was shown as "Problem with order" and detail "damaged in transit" and today it is "Undeliverable, expect a refund within 14 days".
So she now knows him inside as well as out? 3:O)> g,d&rvvvf
Bonus for reminding this moose of the Frank Hayes performance. 3:O))>
Unmarked car? No licence plate (on the front at least)? Illegally parked? I can see a Grand Jury going along with that one when Hell freezes over.
When he finally croaks, we should crowdfund a gender-neutral toilet over his grave.
#catpest is definitely involved somehow.
Woodworm in his blockhead?
No metalwork left, he's just a crumbling heap of worm-riddled rotten wood.
I aim to please, so 🦆 3:O)> (Found it years (if not decades) ago on Usenet, and it's one of those posts that you never forget.)
well you see when words are polyamorous they can date BOTH a Greek prefix and a Latin suffix
Franca has clearly seen how Big Friend does it, and has tucked herself in. 3:O)>
RFK Jr should take a long walk off a short pier and French-kiss a shark.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🏆 Simply brilliant. I wonder if they're keeping a score of donations versus insults/obscenities? (They probably know they're loathed already.)
No hardcover, either. 3:O(>
Then you look at each other and smile in relief. (Or fall about laughing.) 3:O)>
"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" as the saying goes.
Yikes! 3:O(((>
That's why he's doing it. There's clearly a "Train your human" book circulating, written in Cat.
I think I need a flamethrower to sort out my garden. The blackberry thicket is (not so) gradually taking over and it's like organic razor wire. 3:O((> Also: I don't really want to disturb the foxes and birdlife. I'll get an aerial up eventually, honest!
Does this mean you'll be sleeping curled up while #catpest enjoys his favourite spot?
If it turns out to be inoperable, the French have a solution for that which they successfully implemented on April 25, 1792.
🤣 Oh dear... and if all the Democrat voters get vaccinated and the Republican ones continue to believe their Glorious Leader and don't, the next Covid epidemic will make Republican candidates unelectable. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot.🤣 As BSM "Shut UP!" Williams would say:
This is entirely understandable given the current state of the rolling clusterfuck that is the United Kingdom. Trust a moose on this.
The Tories have been "Thinking the unthinkable" and planning how to implement it for many years. Unfortunately Labour have taken up the task. 3:O((> To paraphrase Clausewitz: "Labour is nothing more than the continuation of Tory policy by other means."
Only if we can cancel the "and come to the attention of important officials" one at the same time.
It does stick in your mind. (Even if you are not owned by a cat.) 3:O)>
One amusing bit of graffiti I recall: "Here I sit, broken hearted, paid a penny and only farted." And on that lavatorial note, I shall call it a night. Be good (and if you can't be good, be careful). 3:O)> (2/last)
"Spending a penny" is another old expression: the cubicles were coin operated (to pay for cleaning, paper, etc.) and you had to insert a 1d coin (1/240th of a £) to open the door. (The urinal was often just a wall with a gutter at the bottom and a timed flush, though posh places had porcelain.) 1/2
Yup! There are still a lot of those signs around in the UK and elsewhere. Try a search on "commit no nuisance sign". Trust this moose to lower the tone of the discourse. 3:O(>
Of course not! (This was under a Tory government, so budget cuts all round.) It is, to corn a phrase "A real pisser." if you need the toilet and there's nowhere available. "Committing a Nuisance" used to be the term for relieving oneself in doorways, and shops were Not Happy when it happened. 3:O(>
That's Cambridge for you, of course. 3:O))>
That certainly used to be a term used in the UK. (Mainly because a lot of public toilets were built to look like cottages - tiny houses with pitched roofs. Most of them were closed and demolished years ago. Some were even converted into (very small) housing!)
Can you record it and replay it later when it happens? If so, it's real and may be radio frequency pickup from the wiring. If not, they may be imaginary ("Raudive voices" caused by the brain trying to interpret "white noise".) See also "Electronic Voice Phenomena". (I don't believe it's the dead.)
Thirded! 3:O)>
Luckily the unusually long caption didn't deter The Spectator from publishing this #whitevanman #cartoon
I was a very worried moose for a while there.
Signs of garlic poisoning in cats include breathlessness, lethargy, diarrhoea, vomiting, pale gums, an elevated heart rate, an increased respiratory rate, weakness, exercise intolerance, and collapse. If you suspect your cat has eaten garlic, you should take them to the vet immediately.
Garlic is highly toxic to cats, and even small amounts can result in poisoning. As little as one clove of garlic can lead to toxicity, and symptoms can take up to two to four days to appear.
Yikes! "The longer you wait to get your cat medical help, the more serious his condition becomes. If you see any of the symptoms of garlic poisoning, take your cat to a veterinarian as soon as possible to prevent potentially fatal complications."
3:O)> I hope cats are OK with garlic... is it dogs that mustn't eat onions?