It’s a joke about how they stole his likeness using AI and how he killed a CEO for doing gross capitalist things
Writer, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharks
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It’s a joke about how they stole his likeness using AI and how he killed a CEO for doing gross capitalist things
Feel like Shein's CEO didn't think this through
Happy Labor Day 🙂
Why are we roughing up Hawley today, chat. I’m liking the alien show. (This does appear to be a dumb read of Fargo, yes)
Here, I’ll explain: you enhanced the photo using AI, so it’s a pretend photo. It’s make believe.
He's been rushed to New Hampshire Total Landscaping
Motherfucker’s kryptonite is calesthenics
Ok I went to go see a movie and he’s not dead. I wanted it to surprise me like when your food is waiting for you when you come back from the bathroom at a restaurant
I’m not a big sassy movie gif guy but my brain does automatically play this sentence every time this shit happens
That’s how you get Jake and Logan Paul
Agree with everything except that I think Keaton is absolutely one of the weirdos and his stuff with Pfeifer pops off the screen (also the bat signal that reflects off his wall is maybe the coolest Batman intro there ever is)
Immediate cast level up
Hold on why was my english teacher so bad at poetry
“CROSSES STILL OK”
1993: Murder was the case that they gave me 2025: I’m escawwed of cartoons
Gonna be super awkward if the other one gets out
You actually don’t have to weigh in on the Gavin Newsom shit at all. You can just let one narcissistic psycho take clean shots at another one. Ain’t no rule says you gotta like him or vote for him or even pay attention. Sometimes that “Let Them Fight” meme is all you gotta do
I’m glad Netflix is letting its movies get released in some theaters but it feels like getting my arm broken to hear its logo sound play in a theater, if that makes sense
This is great because it works for all ages
Place is really annoying sometimes if I’m being honest
Why does Vince McMahon look like he’s about to tell Beetlejuice he needs a dinner jacket to dine here
Biggest unanswered question about Weapons is who was gonna get that 7th dog
Literally all I’m hearing is that it rules
Hey congrats to all the cheating dads and closeted gay sons for pushing the conversation back one more day
He can tase small children in a single round
People say Trump doesn’t care about alternative energy, but there is gonna be so much electric slide happening here
I cannot imagine not watching The Naked Gun in the most packed theater possible. If you looked down at your phone in your living room, you’d miss 7 jokes. Do not wait for streaming. Go today. Comedy belongs in theaters
She says if you’re flying with a dog she’ll “take care of it”??
Guys… this is about her being hot. Can we please just… be normal about something
Should’ve known ur in my most anticipated movie of next year!
More like Peter Wailer. Thanks.
Apparently there are other hills he wants to die on
Next few years are gonna be so rough
Also they did, uh, kill the native cop. Cross may have wounded him but they did (accidentally or not) finish the job
Agree with mostly all this except it’s a p generous read of the (fake) “antifa” guys, who were clearly hired by the AI company dude. Doubt Aster means to depict them as divine, even by accident Still don’t think it’s a centrist movie tho. Most of the left “criticism” is more about kids being stupid
Been meaning to see this, thanks for the reminder
Biblical scholars long warned of an Anti-Quentin
Omg what’ll they do with the free time
Watching E.T. for the first time since it was in theaters and in a just world M&Ms would have gone out of business for turning down the amazing product placement Reese’s Pieces got. They thought they were too good for E.T. to eat?? There punishment awaits in the kingdom of Hell
(Complimentary)
That’s how you end a meme
If only Trump had been accepted into art school
This is very bleak for the entire industry.
Don't worry, everything's gonna be RFK
*Sir Mix-A-Lot voice*
A certain kind of guy online is about to be so upset
So see this is actual antisemitism, as opposed to like, just being a Muslim guy running for office
Man, not to speak on behalf of kids cuz they’re pretty annoying, but I just saw Walmart run a Back To School commercial on the *first day of July.* You can get the FUCK outta here with that. First official day of summer was literally 10 days ago
“We’ve decided to pivot into creating poor people rather than just depicting them”
mamdani handled all the racism in the primary with incredible grace. he never got angry about it or positioned himself as a victim of unfairness or prejudice, he just stuck to his message of affordability. and now that it's worked his reward is everybody hitting a 10x racism multiplier
He’s gonna be pissed
“More like 28 *Inches* Later” (you’ll know when)
This is so simple and so clear and gee it’d be nice if there were someone in, I dunno, Los Angeles in a position such as, let’s say, mayor who would take such a humanist, common-sense stance
Weird way to announce the characters are gonna have a one-month 4-way
brad lander is a real one. i wish only great things for brad lander in his personal and professional life. what a true public servant.
Primary every Democrat who is not meeting this moment. Get rid of them all.
He had to throw Mike Flanagan's phone into a lake to get this
Appreciate this show’s commitment to realism in all aspects except “hotness of people in Pittsburgh”
Happy 50th Jaws, you big beautiful Bruce-y bastard. @chasemit.bsky.social @mikescollins.bsky.social @mattcatanzano.bsky.social (Couldn’t tag Pat because Jaws ate him shortly after this pic)
Check out @danhopp.bsky.social’s new pod to hear me relive a nightmare!
Surprised one of the swimmers made it
Yea man fuck right off with that
The equivalency here is so depressing but hey I get it you’ve got rungs to climb
Hey Kat who did what first
They’re just getting ready to put her in a car and aim her at Iran
Superman’s Pal
You’d think just because everyone knew this was going to happen all along, it would make it less satisfying to watch, and yet
Good. The Navy should only adhere to straight culture, like the Village People song
Pride Month so far: Jonathan Joss is murdered in a disgusting hate crime and the Navy intentionally announces they are changing the name of the USNS HARVEY MILK. America... now more than ever... David Lynch's words ring loudly. "Fix your hearts or die." This cannot be our normal.
Trump being visited by Nancy Reagan’s ghost
He’s stepping down to spend more time with his families
Haven’t seen a Nazi retreat like this since 1945
Her death is just one small obscenity in an ocean of obscenity, and we should all be ashamed that we allowed this to happen.
As the day goes on, I repeat
Suddenly seeing a million posts like, “Uh, ‘BlueSky is dead’!? I don’t think so, sir,” and zero posts actually *saying* BlueSky is dead. So like… are y’all sure someone even said that
Sorry but Rite Aid should not legally be able to text you for a week that your prescription is ready and then, when you show up and wait in line, tell you they still need half an hour to get it ready
Honestly don’t know how I’m ever going to safely fly again without knowing whether or not my pilot has breastfed from a giant puppet
Just excellent stuff going on here
“I’m gonna be crashing a plane there”
He finally let you down
First line of dialogue in first episode: "Gosh it's crazy how dad got killed by that asteroid"
That’s the plural of Eva Longoria
Fuck all the way off. Winning elections doesn’t matter if your policies are indistinguishable from the other party, shitbag Also, Walz rules
Sometimes it’s both
But at least he’s also uninformed, vindictive, litigious, aggressively unfunny, and likes nutting in as many women as possible
Lamb Chop puppet-lookin ass (complimentary)
Man what the fuck is happening on facebook
A sociopathic female politician trying to gain favor with a dangerous mentally ill guy for her own gains? Lady I watched Thunderbolts* LAST week
He’ll be dyeing the holy water green on St. Patrick’s Day, has anyone done that yet
The first Pope who will damn you to hell for putting ketchup on a hot dog
It’s alright, Connections, I have lazy days too
I think what I’m discovering is that BlueSky is a place free of the JHud spirit tunnel videos, and that’s kind of adorable
This is all great but I gotta say I really liked her stuff with Martin Freeman in BP2. Did it belong in that movie? Maybe not, but that backstory and vibe was v fun
K this did pretty well in the other place, I’m losing faith in you guys
When you get to the end of the Jennifer Hudson Show spirit tunnel
Well also 2 more wasn’t enough either
SINNERS only had a 6% drop in its second weekend. Two months ago, HEART EYES made more money in its second weekend than in its first. Guess what they have in common? ORIGINAL HORROR STORIES.
The ol’ “HEY LOOK OVER HERE I DIDN’T WEAR A BLUE SUIT TO THE POPE’S FUNERAL” special
Look if you fly a lot you’re gonna have to do this a couple of times