Parents to their child at 7:30 a.m.: "Good-bye, kid! I can't wait to hear all about your day later!" Principal making a phone call at 9:15 a.m.: "Hello, we need to talk about your child."
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Parents to their child at 7:30 a.m.: "Good-bye, kid! I can't wait to hear all about your day later!" Principal making a phone call at 9:15 a.m.: "Hello, we need to talk about your child."
First Day of School: I wonder how many principals have already had to call the parents of naughty kids.
*watching the morning TV news for the first time in weeks and seeing a new anchor at the desk* "Who the fuck is this??? Why wasn't I alerted?"
"Are you ready for football season?" Absolutely not!
"Choosy Shitters Choose Shitter's Choice"
I say we go straight to Born in 1993 in the next election.
I can hear my neighbor's air conditioner running.
The Red Green Show: Edgar Montrose (Graham Greene) youtu.be/vjSX7L53Lxk?...
RIP Graham Greene. Every time he popped up on screen when I was a kid, my mom would excitedly point him out for being an actual Native on the screen. Able to be deadly serious and infinitely hilarious (even in smaller roles like Last of Us), he ate up the screen. Nʌki’wah brother.
On Twitter I kept a running thread of my assessment of how sexy each holiday is. Labor Day is a true dud in that regard.
"It's a holiday! Let's... lie around and eat leftovers and be sure to go to bed by 10 p.m."
I don't know if I've ever had real fun on Labor Day. It always just feels like a dull Sunday. Tomorrow being the start of the school year doesn't help either.
Yesterday I decided "I'm gonna start collecting these Facebook prompts and share them every day" and now today I haven't seen one. I think they're finally gone! Thank you, Facebook, for almost immediately cutting off my ability to follow up on this stupid impulse.
What if they not letting Trump speak because he had a Reverse Fetterman Stroke and hes woke now
I'm even waiting on a new faucet to get delivered and they had better bring it tomorrow not today.
Leave that bullshit to Amazon.
It's Labor Day. There's a USPS truck making a delivery on my block. What gives?
People often express disappointment that their cellphone photos never adequately capture the beauty of the moon. This is the same reason I didn't try to capture a picture of the two goths in capes who just rode Lime scooters past me.
Rudy Giuliani happened to be in the middle of one of his favorite pastimes - RESPECTING WOMEN - when he suddenly broke every single bone in his body. Please do not call and ask any questions because his business partner is taking care of him ❤️
Obituary Writer is going to be a bountiful occupation for decades to come.
Me: "Welp, school starts Tuesday so this is the last night we can go to bed without an alarm waking us up!" Wife and kids: "We want to practice waking up at 6:30 tomorrow!" Ah, fuck.
I've seen some good suggested queries on Facebook today.
RFK Jr on his way to help Rudy Giuliani
I was stopped at a red light when a can of PAM caught my eye.
And if you wanted to keep that fart sound for yourself, you only needed to right-click to download the embedded .mp3 from the website.
"Before addressing the impossible notion that our bulbs and app are in the wrong... have you considered replacing your router?"
I had some smart light bulbs on the porch and they or the app malfunctioned recently. I'm trying to reset the whole system and every Help suggestion is like "Maybe your internet signal is not working" as if people in the current age aren't aware when their wifi is down.
KXSF uses A.I. artwork for their social media posts and everything looks blurry and bad.
Labor Day fireworks... we can make it a thing.
I hope you have a dangerous holiday weekend. Pack that E.R. and keep those nurses busy!
Meet me at Black Husky in the next 20 minutes if you want a̶n̶ ̶a̶s̶s̶-̶k̶i̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶ to have a chat over a tasty beverage.
And, of course, it’s the 28th anniversary of the greatest of all newspaper corrections (with apologies to @seamas.bsky.social who traditionally posts this, but it’s 10.39, and I can only wait so long)
Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my Tactisquatch
The quotes are all still good and fun to encounter but everything in between is dull and clumsy.
I turned on BETTER OFF DEAD. It's worse than I had remembered.
It's fugly!
imagine someone blows one of these at your funeral, you'd have to come back to life and kill ur self
ok, thank you. I was starting to think I missed a public fainting or something.
That was all while I was out in the city. Now that I'm home on my couch I see that you're all actually really talking that way. Weird!
I glanced at my phone several times tonight and each time I saw someone talking about Trump dying. Things in this country are going great!
I've done enough research in the past ten years: Surly beer is unremarkable. I might never buy one again.
I gotta get back into the habit of listening to it.
I'll try!
Nice!
I just heard a Wounder Warrior commercial that touted that we should honor those "who ensured that another day like 9/11 would never happened." Oh, has that been guaranteed? Are we in the clear?
Turns out the TN sheriff who inspired Walking Tall (and carried a big stick) murdered his wife. www.wkrn.com/news/local-n...
I mean... this could mean a tighter election race (depending on the candidate) but I'm not sad to see her go!
"Celebrity Hose limited who can comment on this post." Fascists.
I've seen non-English speakers start to use the word "dump" (for photo dump) on Instagram. "Dump" is already such an ugly word in English but it looks even more so when it's like "Voici mon Dump de vacances !"
But at least they're not going too slow or complaining so I'll just keep trying in vain. We rode 13 miles around town today.
I've been trying to explain how and when to switch bike gears to my kids for... maybe 4 years? They're always like "Nah, that doesn't work for me."
Are vaccines safe? Let's ask this guy who sounds like a dying refrigerator compressor
How small do you have to be to make Fred Armisen look big?
The soundbar I got at Goodwill for $6 is suddenly not playing any sound through it. Maybe I see now why someone got rid of it.
If I had a time machine I'd change the course of history by visiting the set of News Radio, killing Andy Dick, and then framing Joe Rogan for the murder.
She's a funny kid
Diseased culture. Just make up a guy you don’t have to do this
"No way to prevent this..."
I went to a Twin Cities news site and this morning's shooting isn't even the only one on the homepage.
Update: it got funny again
Guess school is back in session
I drank just enough last night that I only just now remembered that I put in a grocery delivery order at 1:30 a.m. Hey, it's better than drunk shopping on ebay.
It doesn't even have to be a niche/subculture thing... go ahead and be a one-hit pop wonder. This is one perfectly rocking song. Cash it in. Call it quits. Just coast on this...
OMG, this just popped up on youtube and I haven't listened to it in years. If you are a pop punk band this good, what's stopping you from playing everywhere every weekend and making everyone love your songs? youtu.be/eGWLJz0a0YA?...
(And shirtless)
Bouncing back to Kenocore, the 10-96 album is punk rock perfection. If I start a punk band and am not this raucous, I won't play a live show. www.mkepunk.com/releases/10-...
I love that once the Motherfuckers' song finished, youtube played this. I'm going to bounce back between the b52s and Motherfuckers until I get sick of it. www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXy0...
When I lived in Madison, Wisc. in the '90s the Kenosha / Milwaukee punk bands seemed off in their own island. I remember someone telling me that the Motherfuckers smoke crack and half of them are dead. I want everyone to live their best life but also .... we need more suicidal/kamikaze punk rock!
I just heard the phrase "Rules Are Meant To Be Broken" on TV and in my brain that phrase goes with this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOBO...
I put my pants on everybody else
No one artist can take a fascist government down but... I'd like to see Anthony Kiedis try.
i am sure most of u have seen those clips of the creepily sycophantic cabinet taking turns praising president trump one after another but did u know that meeting lasted three hours and fifteen minutes lol
I think the most jarring thing about GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS is seeing Jack Lemmon swear.
GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS: The Kevin Spacey movie that holds up the best?
Hey! GLENGARRY GLEN ROSS is on a different channel. I might never go to bed!
That's important cultural knowledge!
OK, RAGING BULL just ended. What an exceptional movie. If this were the only movie Scorsese ever made, we'd all wonder what other things this emotionally-aware genius could have captured.
The trajectory of the public's love of Kevin Spacey aligns perfectly with the lasting gravitas of THE USUAL SUSPECTS
While I'm posting all of this RAGING BULL is wrapping up and every scene is heavier than anything M Night Shyamalan good ever dream.
My kids watched it last year and, man, that first viewing still packs a wallop.
It's kind of crazy that googling "WHO IS KEYSER SOZE?" doesn't immediately bring up the double VHS and pin that I just told you about.
Pretty much everyone was hooked/tricked by the plot of THE USUAL SUSPECTS but after the first viewing it felt gimmicky. My brother bought the DOUBLE VHS of THE USUAL SUSPECTS. One tape had the movie and the other had the commentary track. It came with a pin that said "WHO IS KEYSER SOZE?"
THE USUAL SUSPECTS is my go-to example of a sensational movie people thought was SO GREAT when it came out. I was of an age where it was a movie you could play at a party and people obediently watched. It was very '90s clever but it doesn't hold up for re-watching.
RAGING BULL is ending and will be followed by THE USUAL SUSPECTS, which doesn't excite me as much.
In about the 5th inning I thought "This looks like a game I can ignore." I tuned in a little and I'm glad they won but it just seemed messy.
Here I was... thinking that I wasn't paying proper attention to RAGING BULL and then suddenly Jake starts kicking Joey's ass and I'm completely reeled in.
With CASINO and RAGING BULL we get Robert De Niro asking Joe Pesci if he fucked his wife. I mean... it's a bit of tension that these two guys pull off very well... so why not do it twice?
This Scorsese fella also likes the F-word a great deal!
Baseball term that sound dirty: "Foul balls"
It's so bad. Even most of the cable channels I land on are ones that you can also get over-the-air. I basically pay $$$ every month so I can pause and rewind live TV.
As soon as I saw this, I switched the channel and the first thing I saw was Pat Murphy and his staff standing with their arms crossed looking concerned.
In lieu of flipping GOP seats, I'd like to see more people physically knocking republicans out of their chairs.
RAGING BULL has a nostalgic "We're happily building a domestic life!" home movie sequence. GOODFELLAS has a happy photo montage. WOLF OF WALL STREET has (ironic) "These are great times!" scenes. THE IRISHMAN is about 95% sentimental. Scorsese, you're a big softie! www.youtube.com/watch?v=f5DQ...
Fuck Cracker Barrel. Bring back Joe Camel.
I've got to plan a visit to New York City months in advance? Where's the fun in that???
