im so glad my injection day is friday. there's so many good friday posts. you got flat fuck friday. you got friday in california. so many reminders of this glorious day
she/her/it android jester angel 🏳️⚧️ trying my best
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im so glad my injection day is friday. there's so many good friday posts. you got flat fuck friday. you got friday in california. so many reminders of this glorious day
estelle when she sees her father
gegor... wings...
this is the most beautiful thing ive seen in my life. ive been staring at this for 30 minutes now
grass is dangerous it has bugs in it
i keep getting this little kid in my youtube shorts he uses ai for his pfp and the voiceover but hes so passionate about collecting pokemon cards and he's so polite and earnest its hard not to love him. i love that there are still some innocent bright souls out there.
watching haircare tutorials makes me feel weirdly at peace
what about that money study? the one where he forcibly tried to trans a kid, and the kid turned out miserable? what if im just forcibly transing myself, and this is the misery demonstrated? no, that can't be right...
i dont want to admit that my joy is all hormonal, i dont want to admit that my behavior gets worse the further i am from friday, i dont want to admit im reliant on estrogen, isnt that wrong? is it wrong for a woman to be reliant on her own hormones? if i wasnt trans, would i feel the same?
problem: the thing in the mirror is not a woman answer: yeah, but I like it now problem: were you confident in your appearance before? answer: no conclusion: im trans? but it hasnt been long enough for any noticeable effects, and yet i am still happy with it. is it cope? i dont fucking knowwwwwwww
its weird how my transition feels wrong. i dont really get dysphoria. i got what i thought was dysphoria, but was it just social anxiety? i delayed my transition for so long doubting myself on my transness, and im still fucking doing it
helluva boss is the first show after mlpfim that i've rewatched. that's gotta be somethin
cishet white guy sees a singular minority; “too much”
when jk rowling dies and her body and grave is innevitably locked up im gonna wait 3 years for the initial hype to die down travel to wherever it is and take the biggest dirtest fat shit all over it its literally my life goal atp
all these calls to action, all the news being unconsentually put in front of me, i cant handle this as well as my internal issues, its too much. please fight for me
i forgive people for the most awful shit done for completely benign reasons, but people will NEVER FORGIVE ME for a fucking SLIP OF THE TONGUE. ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR. IM CURSED. IM FUCKING CURSED!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO JAM THIS RUSTY FUCKING KNIFE IN MY THROAT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD
i just want to make things right, but i cant, i can never go back, its one fault and you're out, no one sees my humanity, everyone thinks im awful, i cant fix it, i can never fix it, do i deserve to fix it? i dont know. i dont fucking know. please just kill me please someone give me an excuse
im gonna call you a bitch cunt, i would say worse, something to make you feel pain equivalent to the pain i felt, but i have no idea how to gauge that, and i know for a fact if i tried anything even remotely offensive you would run with it TO THE BANK and act like its the most hurtful thing ever
im nothing but entertainment apparently, if im not dancing like a fucking monkey and having tomatoes thrown at me im just FUCKING IGNORED. its not like im doing it for attention, but when you tell me my concerns arent real, what am i supposed to do? just sit back and accept the bullshit? no
and, and, when they realize im not that big of a threat, something in them, their "conscience" decides to think better and stop responding/block me. they realize how weak and pathetic and how not even worth the energy spent picking the flesh from my bones i am. they get BORED.
for all i know all this fucking hopeless guilt i feel was artificially placed in me by those people, and i should be happy i stuck up to those bastards. i dont know whats right, they all smell like shit, they all want me dead, i know what its like to be targeted its the same patterns every time
but despite that, regardless of what you say, regardless of what intent you brand me with, i will keep trying, and i will keep fighting bad faith cunts who make me feel like shit. if i eat shit for that, so be it, because thats ME
i want to get better... its not like you people make it very easy. i know im wrong, but you give me no breathing room to readjust myself. thats how i know its purposeful, you dont want me to change... youd lose out on free target practice
from now on, i wont try anymore. i wont seek people out, i wont try to enjoy life, i wont try to secure my future. im just going to persist as i am and never be hurt again, not feeling a thing except the occasional twitch before my light inevitably flickers out.
things can make me unbelievably happy and giggly, but the moment its over i just think about how pathetic i am for being so easily amused. how the people who made it probably think im a freak. how i dont deserve to even laugh. these feelings are involuntary. im not trying to be this pathetic
the world is ending. the demons are in control. the souls of the people have been drained. the internet is dead. there is nothing left. Goodbye.
i watched the british guy in nepal vlog and man i dont think ive ever seen something more beautiful. this is freedom. this is true humanity.
going through this right now in the country im in (proto america) is actual torment, and im just making it worse for myself with every passing moment, burning bridges and stopping myself short of opportunity. but i cant help it. im just so scared of what people can do to me, make me do
i dont know how to be myself, i dont know what “myself” is. the girl in the mirror is a stranger. the me from before i wanted to destroy. i dont know what i am. a stranger to myself? someone to explore? or something wrong and warped and fucked and raped?
*me staring at the mirror longingly* pretty girl… why she got a moustache doe
STRESS RESPONSE COMMISSION WEIRD PORN
"this is clearly hurtful" >poor choice of words "its just common sense" >deadnaming, misgendering, personal attacks & insults, questioning my sanity, calling me a liar god forbid i step on anybodies toes, lest they take my entire fucking head.
THE CORRECT ANSWER TO "I CANT DO IT" IS NEVER "ITS NOT THAT HARD" THE CORRECT ANSWER IS "OKAY, LET'S TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT" EVEN IF YOU ARE EQUALLY INEXPERIENCED IN THE DIFFERENT THING TO THE PERSON STRUGGLING TO LEARN THE CONCEPT OF ALTERNATE POSSIBILITIES SHOULD NEVER BE FORGOTTEN
i cant contain it anymore, i have to hurt someone, i have to lash out, i have to make someone pay for this
thats why all the best leaders are COWARDS. "fight for me, or kill me, but you have to choose" is the modus operandi for everyone in a position of power, urging people to go to the extreme to preserve their peace, as they did with the atomic bomb. sadly, my hands are less deadly than atomic bombs.
or. you could fight. die fighting. fight for what you believe in. or just die. coward. fight for the weak. thats what you're supposed to do as a strong individual, fight for me or kill me, pick one, you have to pick one
its not going to be ok, its not going to get better, it's going to get worse, actually, it's going to continue to get worse. your friends will die and your hobbies will be stripped of their meaning and worth. they will redefine your feelings and taste and you will do it with a smile.
you have to be so street smart, have so many friends, so intelligent, just to exist as a tranny. i cant do any of that. im a stupid dumb fuck. i cant preserve my own state of mind. i dont deserve an identity. fuckkkkkkkk
"socialize more" HOW MOTHERFUCKER IM WHORING MYSELF OUT FOR THESE FREAKS TANGENTIALLY RELATED TO ME JUST TO SHOW SOME HUMANITY BUT THEY JUST MISINTERPRET ME AND TAKE ADVANTAGE FOR CHEAP LAUGHS, YOU ASK THE IMPOSSIBLE, ITS NOT FUCKING FAIR, YOU WILL DIE FOR THIS
i cannot "become" anything
i cant make anything, i can enjoy anything, i have no taste, no soul, no humanity. something like me shouldnt be alive
all the most beautiful people kill themselves. robin williams, kurt cobain, everyone else is just the evil that pushed these pure souls to their limits. there is no place for them here. they die young when they realize that. there is no hope even for the goodest of people.
its so easy to dispel material concerns, "it gets better" "theres more to it", but what if my concerns arent material? what if they're internal? what if its something i dont understand? something no one wants to help me understand? what if it makes no sense? do i deserve to die? should i?
is this my role? am i destined to be alone and awful until forever? with no way to get better? no way to be happy? no matter what i try? whats the point then? whats the fucking point, its all suffering, no joy, what the fuck am i here for. its cause im scared of the pain of dying. please kill me
nod your head til' it falls off
i want to accept that im just inherently incompatible with humanity, just settle into a hermit lifestyle and die alone. but i cant do that. im scared of being alone, too. im just scared of everything. i really wish i could just get it over with
this is the most bad faith image to anyone who knows a LICK of japanese. i spent hours arguing about this with eops who claim to have learned japanese watching anime. i swear, you literally could gleam this from anime. but they'd rather be wrong IN ANY WAY POSSIBLE LMAO
oh. thats right. i dont have the connections. the talent. the looks. if you have material value, you can get away with anything. my worth is equivalent to a punching bag made of flesh and bone. just an abomination waiting to rot. what right do i have to speak out of turn
is that so fucking wrong? to stick up for oneself? to acknowledge ones own insecurities and feelings and try to grapple with them? confront people? make yourself feel bigger for knowing better? isnt that what everyone else does? why cant i do it?
theres no way for someone like me to live in this world besides suppression, being scared isnt okay, being proud isnt okay, being sad isnt okay, being happy isnt okay. i can never find a comfortable stopping point so all i do is fight
people say i do this shit for attention, its just not true, i just want answers. im trying not to let anyone walk over me, but any level of resistance just spurs people to tread on you some more, i try to fight back, learn to acknowledge my feelings, but its always wrong, im always evil
at least living as a cis gay man, there was some fucking accepted path. just do everything else as normal. but now its like. i have to avoid certain people, know certain phrases, just to keep safe, i cant do this, and i cant go back to being male, i jjst have to die
how am i supposed to exist as this entity if everyone no matter where i turn is determined to tell me the way i think is wrong and disgusting and justify it as being my problem. why is it always my problem? why cant people just accept it and accomodate? why arent i worth that?
im just not fit for this, im not educated enough, no matter how hard i try to learn i can never convey the facts in a meaningful way, everything i say is just meaningless bullshit, everyone can shoot me down so easily, i have no defense, i have nothing, i have no right to be scared
certain queers have a really "i got mine" attitude. like. oh, im so glad you have security and safety and a happy life with a loving partner. why do you hate all the scared trans women in the world for reminding you of your vulnerability? that it can all be taken from you? does the idea sicken you?
i can get when like these hyper realistic "omg the grafix" games run poorly, like spiderman 2 or battlefield, i feel like those games are made partly to *look nice*, but games like borderlands, or ffxiv, i dont see a reason for these shits to ever be below 160fps
i love how you can just tell when a neurotypical is out for blood. they show it in the way they talk in absolutes and blatant non sequiturs. no matter how reasonably you try to explain to them they will just rage off and their friends will nod along.
in nature, the strong beat the weak. this is universal. just because we as humans are capable of circumventing those limits and lifting up the weak doesnt mean we will. so what reason do i have to fight? i shouldnt even be alive. im just excess
nothing better to do
Chiitan loves all transgender people. I've received a lot of criticism for expressing my support, but what's more important is that all transgender people live happy lives. Blue Sky cannot display long posts, so please read this post if you'd like. love you all 🤍 ↓ www.instagram.com/reel/C9qppva...
christians: im too afraid to hurt people me: im afraid i will be forced to hurt people
they see being trans as this modern ironically transient thing that you can just start and stop whenever you want. like a fashion statement. and anything they do in regards to placating us we should be thankful for, instead of it being a constant 1 step forward 2 steps back
honestly it feels like im being cordoned off, stuffed into my little menhera box. no one cares. the country keeps moving. the machine keeps churning. its up to you to preserve your own peace of mind whilst they desperately try to take it from you. so cruel.
its so bizarre going through these mental health channels and seeing inclusivity not available anywhere else. they emphasize the importance of pronouns, they make sure im working with another woman. when the rest of the country would call this degenerate and backwards
🫡YES CAPTAIN!! I'M SORRY CAPTAIN!!
🫡yessir!! thank you
Touys
thats what i was saying i wanna go to a charity/thrift shop but my mum keeps telling me they wont have anything in my size😭i have a couple of decent skirts now but i dont have any regular bottoms cause absolutely none fit me and look good im going to kms my ass is so small
i have a 4090 and im running the game in windowed mode to keep it above 60fps what do you want from me randy
i cant tell, is there like a wrong way to dress as a woman? i feel like a clown, i feel like the clothes my mum gets me are cheap garbage and she doesnt actually care how i look, this all feels like cheap shit, theres no way anyone will take me seriously wearing this shit
who am i kidding its not ike i have anything better to do. went shopping to get new healthy food and snacks. people kept staring at me. i just locked eyes with every single one until they looked away. even the children. fuck you. dont stare at me and get uncomfortable when i do it back, faggot
this place is fucking insane. i cant stand to bear witness to current events and peoples reaction. i am so scared. i am so sorry. if you want to reach me my discord is closo
maybe the nurse was right this shit just makes me more anxious
maybe the answer isnt less people dying
PUT A QUEUE PENALTY ON MY NEXT MATCH GOD IM TAKING A BREAK AFTER THIS ONE LOL
im supposed to do things i dont want to do because “thats just life” well then I ABANDON LIFE. ALT F4 MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRR
good news isnt good news. it just begs the question when the good thing is going to be taken away. bad news just feels like consecutive beatings. im starting to prefer the beatings. i dont want false hope, it keeps crushing me and bruising me worse than any simple fist
dendiiiii
people jjst talk down to me, hope for me, pray for me, they never want to help me, never want to take my hand and lead me to happiness like the child i am. they think i can handle it. or im not worth handling. its not fair. someone needs to pay
entire body hurts. hospital tells me i cant take the things thst make me feel good. aha, life is grreat.
my sister turned that down. now im pretty sure she hates me. i have no regrets transitioning when i did, i just regret all this wasted time. all this time spent as an “adult” i was meant to be learning. i never learned. now it feels like i cant with all these memory problems
my mum protected me from the entire world, i knew what i was at 15, maybe if i had some agency i wouldve explored that more, but since i had my mum to take care of me, why would i? i get fed, i can buy whatever i want, i can do whatever i want. you would have to be a fucking idiot to turn that down
you know its hard coming to terms with the fact i havent been a person in 10 years. not since i left school. i can remember hallmark events leading up to the time i was 17, then its just a void until now. all the stress vanishing from my life made me complacent and forced me to shut away
ive seen him called kuck more than chuc, are they like actually mad or do they gain something from hating dollar general i dont get it
the only way someone like me can enjoy life is if they learn to love suffering. enjoy feeling victimized. enjoy making others feel hurt like me. theres nothing more for me. theres no point in trying. i got everything i could ever need whenever i want it. how could i possibly be sad? ^^
you think thats bad? you shouldve seen when tracer beat the scout. i didnt think people could get that sexist!
too afraid to bathe myself alone— and can we keep the lights off?
the libtards playing borderlands 4 want you to have empathy for a missile
closo in the morning: GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING BED! I CANT BE TRAPPED HERE ANYMORE! I NEED TO DO SOMETHING! ENJOY THIS LIFE! BE PRODUCTIVE! closo at night: i am so cozy. im ready to rot here forever. i can be safe in the coze zone forever if i want. forget wordly desires and become a silkworm.
Saber (Yamato Takeru) comms for Stolfie on vgen thank you for using my services
i asked my mum specifically not to make me pizza cause i knew i wouldnt be able to eat it and she still cooked a whole ass pizza and my dad is gonna be passive aggressive mad at me if i waste any of it fuck my chungus ass life
Forgot to post Birdbrain Teto
makoto shouldve been junker queen its like right there!!
im a rat girl i consist entirely on a diet of cheese strings (the rubbery kind because it feels nice to chew)
ive been keeping myself going today with this thought buzzing around in my head its a question "would you still be transfem if they took your hrt" and the answer is a resounding "yes" every time and it makes me feel a little twinge of hope
or kill la kill