I've never eaten a Dude Wipe, but I can imagine that's what these mint Pepcid taste like.
Four-time SPFBO Semifinalist. SPFBO 7 & 9 Finalist. WSFA & 2-time Stabby Nominee. Booknest Longlist. Grimmy Award Winner. Reddit Self-Pub Fave. Meat sack. (he/him)
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I've never eaten a Dude Wipe, but I can imagine that's what these mint Pepcid taste like.
Working on mentally laying out the new horror novel, and my dog whimpered in her sleep last night, and I nearly shit my pants. So, probably scary.
If pain is weakness leaving the body, I must be the toughest motherfucker alive Ow
It's nice to know that at a glance, nothing can keep football from trending. Not even the imminent collapse of our country. Bread and circuses, indeed.
Ah, morning. A new start, a fresh... what the fuck? Nazis? In my cereal?
I feel like it'd be targeted at first, based on your buying history, but like every device invented by man would soon just be a firehose of garbage
The worst part is it's nowhere near unsettling enough. I really need to amp up the what the fuck, man
If I go to my fridge for cheese, and it shows me an ad for Jenny Craig, I'm putting a hammer through the door.
I have now cut 20K from this curse of a book. Fuck it, it's a novella. Eat me, book.
Hey, there just happens to be an email and phone number at the bottom of this chickenshit statement. I think Gar-bear needs an earful, personally. Which is why I gave the coward one.
Clearly I got up on the angry side of the bed today.
What we need is a revival of Maus where he kicks the ever-lovin' shit out of Mickey for being a fascist sympathizer.
Just a small farm yam Livin' in a lonely patch She took the midnight train Going anywhere Just a city spud Born and raised in south Dubois He took the midnight train Going anywhere A fryer in a smokey room A smell of wine and cheap legumes For a while they can share the plate
What a bunch of mewling quims.
After watching this country bend the knee to an orange Pol Pot wanna-be, no one ever gets to make jokes about the French surrendering ever again.
Anyone else having this dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?
Call it a disease But I'm always hungry, hard to please If you get on your knees I'll tell you that I love you, keep you there forever Burn witch Burn witch Gimme another one Well, this'll be stuck in my head all day
Great show, tiny seats. I am 6’4 and 275 lbs. you can imagine.
I’m not sure anyone wants to see what comes out of my brain when given permission like that
Going to see Whose Line live tonight. Excited. Hoping to avoid being pulled on stage and dying of fear.
Damn you, Tuesday!
At the doc. Pretty sure the old fella next to me filled his shorts. Ah, Tuesday.
I keep seeing smoke out the corner of my eye. For a moment, I am hopeful my office is burning down. Then I remember it's the damn diffuser I put on my desk to kill the man stink in this place, and my hopes are dashed.
As a tech professional, I'd like to propose a paradigm-shifting innovation: The Brobuchet. For a nominal fee, you can fling billionaire tech bros into the sea while getting real-time updates on speed, trajectory, and impact.
I might just edit this down into a novella and start work on the fixed piece. They'd be different enough it could end up like a bonus book.
70K words, and I just realized this entire fucking book is in the wrong time period. Excuse me while I go scream into a jar.
A haiku, befitting the state of the world: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
Here's a thing I helped make. You're welcome. I'm sorry. www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0qh...
Gilmore Girls special where Ghost Rider subjects the girls to his penance stare
Sick for the last two days. Holed up with Dept Q. Good, but darker than I expected.
Had a dream last night, then heard this song today, and ouch, my heart It'll be fine by dusk light, I'm tellin' you, baby These things eat at your bones and drive your young mind crazy But when you place your head between my collar and jaw I don't know much, but there's no weight at all
I have a feeling it's going to be a cold winter. On top of that, we are hitting high numbers of unemployment and rising costs. I expect a rise in homelessness. I am crocheting hats, scarves, and blankets for the homeless. If you want to donate yarn, DM, I will show receipts/proof of donation
Finally. I can retire.
I’ve fucking had it with anyone stupid enough to defend this walking bag of shitdicks.
Editing on and off all day, and... the commas. The commas haunt me. It is as if their mere existence defi,es the laws of physics, the immutab,le laws of morality and respect for human li,fe. I don't kno,w whe,n th,e,'ll come fo,r me
I have no idea. I just saw a note that it's sometimes eaten with fruitcake, which might be good in the isles, but it's like a brick crusted with gummy bears here.
Fruitcake cheese? Jesus wept.
I love gruyere. There's a good chance I won't come back if it's made out of that.
The thing they don't tell you about ADHD meds is that even though you don't want to eat while taking them, you have to in order for them to work. Which is why I just ate a burger and am now going to run to the moon.
Sometimes we don't have anything better to do at work
Okay, Wendy’s. I like this.
I have ONE and it's making me bugshit.
I loved this book. Buy it. Thank me later.
Yep, that makes sense. I also play a fair amount of Dmir, and when they really piss me off, my bracket 5 mill.
Jack and Ivy are the new, twisted Nick and Nora. I LOVE this book!
I'm a red/black or Grixis sort of guy. Draw a card? Lose a life. Cast a spell? Lose a life. Play a creature? You get the idea.
My Magic pod loves netdecks, ridiculous proxies, and control, so I'm currently building a deck that punishes them for doing stuff, the jerks.
I only ramped up. Found a pod, friendly hate. It's fun.
It's football season, or as I like to call it: I'm Happy for Y'all, but get ready for me to start talking about Magic a whole fuckload.
Like Urban Fantasy? Like me? Buy this, it's on sale! And if you don't like either, buy it anyway and burn it. I don't give a fuck. www.amazon.com/Demons-Ink-C...
The Lions are doing what they do best. Getting spanked like a child who put the family gerbil in a microwave
God, I hate How I Met Your Mother.
These idiots woke me up at 5:30 so they could do this
My Book Review of A SWORD OF GOLD AND RUIN by @annasmithspark.bsky.social Anna Smith Spark just continues to dazzle me with her worlds and words. Published by: Flame Tree Press outofthisworldrev.blogspot.com/2025/09/book...
I’m 49 and finally have a book on sub. At least I hit that goal a year short of my fuck it date.
In one of those moods where every movie I pick is stupid.
Rewatched the Evil Dead remake. God, it sucks.
Oh, like the potato theory. Everything in the universe is either a potato or not a potato.
If you're not the kind of person you're talking to, you must be some other type of person. Which means you think of me as some other type of person. Which means we're the same person.
This almost makes sense.
FINISH EDITING YOU FUCKHEAD OR ABANDON THE MORAL HIGH GROUND IN WHICH YOU FORCE ME TO FINISH EDITING
Watch it anyway. It's a fantastic horror flick.
Well, some folks are built like this Some folks are built like that But the way, the way I′m built Don't you call me fat ′Cause I'm built for comfort I wasn't built for speed
Today is National Skyscraper Day. In celebration, you should fling a CEO off one.
I used to use this all the time. Not sure if it's still useful, but might be worth giving it a shot: www.trendmicro.com/en_us/forHom...
I don't want to, but I'm really enjoying this new country thing. Stapleton, Combs, Jinks. All pretty decent.
Inadvisable xenoarchaeology:
Vampire Hunter D has some fascinating ideas, but the dialogue was shoveled from deep in the shit mines.
There’s no trauma quite like the emotional and physical trauma of a 70lb dog using your testicles as a springboard.
Burned out on fantasy. Every book looks the same. Switching to horror for a while. Currently on The Feeding and The Pale House Devil.
I suspect all birds understand geometry. How else can they shit on my car from every conceivable angle?
I'm in the rut to end all ruts. Dating failures, feeling stuck at work, and a general lack of motivation have me needing some kind of positive attention. Anyone need an interview partner? A podcast guest? A...anything, really?
The kind where they frown on this sort of thing.
I'm at the rip off my pants and run screaming through the office part of my day. Join me, won't you?
I always thought Live was a better version of R.E.M. *ducks*
It Feeds wasn’t bad at all. Rare to come across a horror movie that doesn’t fall into every trope in the book.
Editing done for the night. Deleted 1500 words. That's progress, I guess.
*raises hand*
"Make this betterer? Bettered? Bett... fuck. Werds."
Author copies of The Infernus Gate - Seven Swords Bk 7 - are here. Mailing list giveaway coming on Monday. #BookSky
Man, slow down. I'm currently reading The Feeding. I don't have time for 6000 new books.
Christ, I wish I knew what's wrong with me. I have a finished MS, and editing is like pulling teeth. I keep putting it off because I'm terrified I'll fuck it up.
Fun with microcontrollers!
Ah, Labor Day. The day in retail where we work a holiday just to make our boss a fraction richer. Fuck.
Aigh! Microcontrollers!
Well, it’s not Fargo.
AND FARGO IS A BUSTLING PRAIRIE METROPOLIS, NOT SOME SHITHOLE LIKE FUCKING BRAINERD
No one in ND talks like that! That’s Minnesota! Fuck!
Angry lunatic, usually.
I just stare at the ceiling and mutter, No. No, that won't work. No.
Man. They're gonna have to throw away all the furniture.
That's hilarious.
Walking into the pharmacy, I hear "Is that the famous author?" then turn to look and see one of my friends. So, I guess I was recognized. I'll take it.
YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY
I'd love to work on this book, but the day job is fucking me without lube at the moment. Usually so tired I have all the energy of a sloth on quaaludes.
