It’s still the guns
Editor-at-Large, Esquire. Here’s a funky introduction of how nice I am.
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It’s still the guns
That first sentence is absolutely bone-chilling in its own way
it's stunning what a rare and radical statement this is defector.com/five-years-o...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=upxJ...
Moments like this are when we really need a functioning Doonesbury www.cnn.com/2025/09/09/p...
Sunday Oasis nosebleeds officially copped. It is happening.
For years, the famously unostentatious man has kept quiet about himself and his role in a matter of global significance, as is his custom.
Why Did I Die For Your Sins Too?
Related: face is grilled
I remember once I was on live tv with Brandy, I think we were talking through the finalists for the fan-designed TRL t-shirt, and one that she was supposed to describe said something “kicks ass,” and she said “I can’t say that word because of my image,” like ON AIR, and I dunno this is kinda that
He will not be returning for season 51
Pretty Persuasion or Life And How To Live It
Lizz open the door
Has he ever signed any of these in this way?
To be able to say things like this with a straight face, you have to know with certainty that you are talking to babies
@lizzwinstead.bsky.social LIZZ! So good to see you just now. Your zoom background is aspirational.
the best people
Starstruck
I thought that red text was Amazon editorializing a bit
Absolutely bonkers personalist regime stuff www.theatlantic.com/politics/arc...
It’s true it’s all true
Manic episode ass country
D. John Sauer’s older brother and I went to school together from 1st to 12th, Dijon was always 4-5 years behind. Ed Martin was a year ahead of me at Holy Cross. I know good people too, I think.
Everything went downhill after Blair Magazine went away
He could have made it to the Stout that’s not Stout anymore, to the Ralph’s gas station even. He’s superhuman.
Not the most important part, but: Why is the Gal Gadot guy on Fox News?
If they really hospitalized him I hope it’s to study his DNA. Ultra Ironman shit.
HE PASSED IT! He made it down to Jinky’s and MAYBE BEYOND.
Only my Studio City Committee will understand, but Lil Nas X catwalked down the center of eastbound Ventura Blvd in tighty-whiteys and boots from AT LEAST the vacant Lemonade all the way to Katsu-Ya. That’s super-strength. Respect.
literally everything about every word he says and every pixel in the frame is the most embarrassing shit I am capable of imagining
When I visited LA for the first time at age 13, someone had spray-painted on the back wall of the Tower Records parking lot, in giant letters: AGNES MOOREHEAD IS GOD. Filed that one away for later.
So...we're saying that if you're posting to social media, that means you can't be focused on what's happening right in front of you? Is that what we're saying?
Feels like we could quickly make good fun out of real conservatives actually melting down over a Cracker Barrel logo refresh the way they wrung a month of prime-time eye-rolling out of imaginary left-wingers reacting to the Sydney Sweeney ad.
Fox News gets it.
COREY DOOO ITTTT
“Here, reporter, have an open bag of potato chips”
Been a minute but isn’t the point of the “i don’t think about you at all” exchange that he actually does think about him?
The world is going to be Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” video.
youtu.be/pQT-QFy5Nig?...
Okay, I was close. Also just found out they were originally called “Buutz.”
It’s very much like when the group Blaque said their name stood for “building lasting and quality understanding everywhere” or whatever. I bet it didn’t!
I’m just waiting for the “Gal Gadot Finds Out About MS NOW” video like everyone else.
I’m Michael Strahan. And I’m Meghan Trainor, and welcome to the 2025 Ms. Now Pageant.
This guy was a year ahead of me at Holy Cross and he liked to pull his balls out at parties.
How in the year 2025 are we in any way curious as to how Donald Trump would rate his own performance
The last little TWOOOOOP noise gives the exact energy as a “right?… …guys?”
Oh shiiiiit you went there
I mean, is there a more succinct reflection of the national mood than "I should have changed that stupid lock?"
Something that is rarely seen!
America is not prepared for this onslaught of sitting there looking embarrassed
Kim Davis is the worst, but I will take any opportunity to remind you of this moment from 2015, which is legitimately very very funny.
Related: even if it were pure gold, it would still look like shit.
Genuinely incredible that she's saying this with 2 accused rapists on either side of her
Got to talk about one of the all-time great ‘80s movies VALLEY GIRL on the excellent Revolutions Per Movie podcast with the equally excellent Chris Slusarenko. (I still contend that no human being ever earnestly said “gag me with a spoon.”) podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/r...
Someone forgot to take down this webpage: www.justice.gov/usao-dc/pr/v...
“We should move out!” - unhoused people.
Now is the time to act a fool tonight
Even weirdos and sociopaths are like “settle down.”
If you need to smile today, think about Andrew Cuomo and Alan Dershowitz believing anyone is on their side.
Did the shooter JUST get the vaccine?
How was this ever EARTHED?
Also I feel like her bar for “concerning” might be a bit higher than the global average?
“And then balloons and confetti fell from the sky because it was the one thousandth occasion this year in which I found out about something for the first time because somebody on the television told me I was outraged over it.” www.esquire.com/news-politic...
Started REEEEAAAAL Dirtbag Left, but Covid…I don’t know, it changed him.
Vaj is a Proud Boy, I just know it.
DuckDuckGoing “do we need a moon”
He…already looks like a haunted doll.
If you’re an immigrant with legal status who’s committed 0 crimes you can be sent to a torture prison where you’ll be raped and dehumanized. If you’re old pals with Trump and ran a pedophile ring you get sent to a cushy minimum security prison despite being ineligible because you’re a sex offender.
It’s so good, I want to go get an unhealthy crush.
Right around this part of the summer every 5ish years, I rediscover this song and listen to it a million times in a row. music.apple.com/us/album/tra...
Would love that reading list if u got it.
“Thanks for loaning me The Donger. He’s really bitchin’.”
I spent my formative years doing everything in my power to keep guys like this from calling me a fag, and…they…just tweeted it out
Michelle was REAL CAREFUL on that first step
I have an idea what if we completely stop listening to guys who can only think of things in terms of their real or imagined stock price
PREACH
I am still embarrassed that we gave him a tv show
As of Friday, July 25 at 6:36am pacific time, we are still pretending we do not understand exactly how and why Trump has struggled in dealing with the Epstein files.
She wins the rooftop garbage creature sass crafting movement battle though, and her sense of pride and accomplishment is really infectious!
You do not care one way or the other about seeing it
When that Bloodhound Gang song was released, Mike Cernovich was 22 years old.
The Ozzy vigil they’ve been doing on Ozzy’s Boneyard is fascinating for a lot of reasons but two big ones are 1) how many people are like “now he’s in heaven,” which I hope he is but in 1981 I was sure he was the actual devil, and 2) a LOT of his solo stuff is adult contemporary with guitar solos.
Hadn't thought about that one in years, but YES- that too.
Thank God you had each other.
There was a hot rumor in my subdivision that Ozzy would throw a puppy into the audience in the middle of his show, and say "we will not play another note until that puppy is DEAD." Terrifyingly plausible to 8-year-old me. If I found out a friend liked "Flying High Again," I was like: "OH NO."
I know the concern is that this guy will now become some kind of folk hero or at least rake in some big donations, but I have to believe that this is the face that makes even the most committed and indulgent nazi say “No.”
Lol
And they immediately acted guilty! Stand there and smile and the whole thing would have been over in 20 seconds.
This restored a lot of faith.
The guy who is so vain and fragile he couldn't allow his doctor to say he was merely healthy, he had to be The Fittest President In History, willfully put his obstructed-ass veins into the news cycle. Colbert thing BAD, grand jury thing IRRELEVANT, keep fucking digging.
Feels like we're moving past the creepy letter and the wonderful secrets awful quick. Don't forget: he's so scared of it and whatever is still to be revealed HE SENT HIS PRESS SECRETARY OUT TO TALK ABOUT HIS BIG FAT ANKLES.
You rarely see such a perfectly distilled example of “I am a man and therefore I am obsessed with masculinity and also frightened of everything and in need of constant protection.” Grow up, Lumberjack Games.
"i never wrote a picture" is up there with the all-time classic "he was never a big factor in terms of life" from...i want to say yesterday?
This dude is a DECADE younger than I am!
Wait isn’t Christian Grey a fanfic version of Edward Cullen anyway? This is like “I’m a mix of Jackie Gleason in the Honeymooners, and Fred Flintstone.”
Two reasons to rejoice today: 1) @braunger.bsky.social has a new podcast that is as silly and thoughtful as he is, and 2) the theme music is by my man Ben Wise, save it and use it as the score for your next tank top adventure. podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...
Thank u sweet bb.
25 things we’ve learned in this glorious quarter-century. www.esquire.com/news-politic...
