Jelly Roll performed at accused sex trafficker Vince McMahon's recent birthday party in case you thought he was anything other than what you would expect from a redneck with bad prison face tattoos.
Jokes. Music. Pop culture. Sarcasm and silliness. Deadpan stares. Perpetual eye rolling. You can find my humorous articles at: www.davidjettexplainsthings.com For my pro wrestling commentary account, go to @djdavidjett.bsky.social
172 followers 54 following 1,309 posts
view profile on Bluesky
Jelly Roll performed at accused sex trafficker Vince McMahon's recent birthday party in case you thought he was anything other than what you would expect from a redneck with bad prison face tattoos.
Btw, just another example of lunk head men being so needy they chase after praise for doing the most basic of tasks.
My brother is incapable of talking about anything he bought at the grocery without mentioning how cheap he got it for, including the actual price.
The line up for the next season of Dancing with the Stars was announced today and I'm sure a lot of you were disappointed I wasn't included. The truth is I recently broke my femur drunkenly trying to recreate Janet Jackson's moves from her Rhythm Nation video. My apologies.
When it eventually happens, I hope it's on live TV so I can watch it over and over, like when Roy Biggens fainted on that episode of Wings (a highly underrated show, btw.)
There's nothing that could measure the incredibly short amount of time between me winning this and moving out of this country. abcnews.go.com/US/powerball...
RIP Graham Greene. Every time he popped up on screen when I was a kid, my mom would excitedly point him out for being an actual Native on the screen. Able to be deadly serious and infinitely hilarious (even in smaller roles like Last of Us), he ate up the screen. Nสkiโwah brother.
Trump leaving the White House. (Getty Images)
This is absurd behavior. Both clapping for 15 minutes & crying because people clapped for 15 minutes. It's not a cure for cancer. It reminds me of a sex ed poster in high school that read "Johnny didn't get applause for his performance last night, but he got the clap." variety.com/2025/film/fe...
It's 87 where I'm at which is still too hot so I'm extending my "stay at home with air conditioning" policy until further notice.
Happy Yes Day (a federal holiday in the United States)
Here's the ambush scene from the movie. youtu.be/o-e8eejeHLA?...
I remember when I was around nine, my parents and uncle went to see this at the theater. This was before the days of VHS and HBO, so if you wanted to see a movie unedited, you had to do it in the theater. I remember the theater sign saying "held over for 83rd week!" abcnews.go.com/US/famed-she...
Because he was such a polite cannibal.
Underrated celebrity crush: Tim Meadows He is in the latest episode of #Peacemaker, and I am IN TEARS. He is a national treasure. www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8BtaeKx/
Oddly enough, when he was on SNL, I didn't think he was anything special. But I've loved him in tons of stuff he's done since. I agree that he's great in Peacemaker. He did a guest spot on Brooklyn 99 that killed me.
You will never see a dumber group of people than the crew in the movie Alien Covenant.
Is it in the same tube?
I was just joking. I actually haven't seen it but didn't expect that to be the plot. ๐
I haven't seen it. Is that the plot? Daaaaaamn.
This is the finest joke I've read all year. ๐๐๐
I haven't used Prell since I was a kid. I didn't even know they still made it. Did you find it at an army surplus store?
In case you aren't familiar with the term fridging.
Started to watch Happy Gilmore 2. Within the first 3 minutes it established that Happy and Virginia had five kids and then she gets killed when one of his golf shots hits her in the head. No thanks. Next movie, please. (I didn't expect a Sandler comedy to have fridging.)
When you're young you can have sex for hours and hours and maybe all night and then fool around the next morning. When you're old, you go for a few minutes and you're like...
They are white supremecist Nazis who believe in eugenics and want only the strongest to survive and the weak to die out.
Coinciding with your arrival.
That crossing guard is a nark.
Next week I'm starting a new job as a KPop Demon Hunter. Please wish me well in my new endeavor.
Being shot while literally praying sure puts a hitch in the "thoughts and prayer" strategy.
Melania looks and acts like she was created by AI. Is the challenge to prove she's not? www.msnbc.com/top-stories/...
Just bringing this up again.
Especially like the high viz vests over the camouflage outfits, because those two things are like the opposite of each other. But also, morale must be great among the National Guard right now, huh?
Should we start an office pool? I'm going out on a limb and saying it will be called off before the marriage takes place. So I give it zero days.
Taylor Swift has been known to write songs about normal breakups. If she has an actual marriage end, she'll release a boxset on Kelce's ass.
Online age verification is not like "showing ID to buy alcohol" because a) the liquor store doesn't get to scan your ID and store a digital copy of it forever in a database that will inevitably get hacked b) you don't have to show ID to go to the library because they have cocktail recipe books
You would think that explaining to a kid how two lesbians got a baby would be a hell of a lot easier than explaining how a man and a woman got one.
This idiot needs to take his dystopian version of "ketchup vs ranch" engagement bait over to Threads.
Pro-tip: don't ask me to do anything "real quick," cause that ain't happening.
RoboCop: *about to arrest me* Me: before you arrest me, which of these 9 pictures have cars in them RoboCop: iโm going to let you off with a warning
Bender's List.
One of my current annoyances is people saying this or that is "just a distraction." These people greatly underestimate how many things I can be mad about at the same time.
Don't worry, caller. I'll be right over.
To the person in the group who got bitten by the zombie and is hiding it: just go off somewhere by yourself man. Things are very stressful and it's doubtful they're going to come up with a cure for zombieism in the next 20 minutes
Imagine actually needing religion to be a decent person. Now imagine using religion as an excuse to actively not be one.
My exercise routine consists mostly of eye rolls.
There are a lot of randos buck fucking naked in tonight's Peacemaker premier.
Cracker Barrel decided to put the white guy back in the logo but I think they overcorrected.
I hope this Cracker Barrel logo change business doesn't spread to other restaurant chains like Ofay's Oyster Bar.
After Cracker Barrel changed their logo, their stock took a dive as all of their stock is owned by crackers.
Big Pasta was my nickname in college.
Please make this happen. deadline.com/2025/08/nico...
This Cracker Barrel logo change is bullshit. It's just like when Big Boy got rid of the Japanese girl giving him a blow job.
He doesn't look anything like James Garfield. (actually I have no fucking clue if he does or doesn't.)
BTW, one way to tell if someone is a racist is if they use the word "woke" in a serious manner and purposefully mean it to have negative connotations to the thing or person they are applying it to. This method is 100% accurate.
The new Cracker Barrel logo doesn't look too woke to me.
Nude Town Road. consequence.net/2025/08/lil-...
New phone, who dis?
Total "can I see your papers" Nazi shit. And absolutely illegal. There's gonna be a tipping point where people fight back and shit's gonna get real.
I was speaking in old school country vernacular. ๐
There's a young feller who sings old school honky tonk country and he has the most old school country name ever...Moot Davis. youtu.be/70y7LvEnKkk?...
A Magic Eye that when your eyes achieve the right focus, you see a 3D image of your broken dreams.
How bad did Sydney Sweeney's AMERICANA perform at the box office? Lionsgate didn't even bother to "officially" release grosses. Off the record--around $500k in over 1,100 theaters. That's about as down and dirty as it gets. Was this no indie drop... this was a sweep it under the carpet operation.
My viewing plans for tomorrow night include the Devo doc on Netflix. www.avclub.com/devo-review
I'm watching Sicario for what is probably the sixth time. I find this film mesmerizing.
If you haven't seen season one, I can vouch for it being an excellent show.
In the movie Wonder Woman, when Steve Trevor washes up on the shore of Themyscira, Wonder Woman should have just fucked him and thrown him back out to sea.
I think the first John Wick film should have opened with the bad guys killing John Wick and then we get an hour and a half of his dog going around fucking people up.
Just realized that Nautilus is an Australian production so it makes sense that Anna Torv shows up. But where's Robert Taylor? (Robert and Anna have worked together on two other Australian shows, The Newsreader and Territory.)
I'm on the next to last episode of Nautilus season one and Anna Torv just showed up!!! Yas, queen!!
Tell them nerds to take it to the basement!
Just yesterday I had gotten out of the shower and I looked in the mirror. My hair was wet and slicked back and I had just trimmed my beard. I saw my reflection and said "kneel before Zod!" www.bbc.com/news/article...
IT'S 95 DEGREES AND FEELS LIKE 105 AND FUCKING HELL WHEN WILL THIS BULLSHIT END??!!!
If it were me, I would flee the scene, too. No way am I stopping for these masked fucks.
I think there should be a Freakiest Friday where Lindsay Lohan swaps bodies with Ice Cube.
If I won the lottery, I would still give my job two weeks notice so I would have plenty of time to leisurely tell people individually to go fuck themselves.
Most of the total nut jobs are Republican. Why can't Democrats have a few total nut jobs to use their nut job powers for good?
To be fair, if that sandwich was from Subway, it could have done some harm.
I block people on here like I'm playing Candy Crush.
Feeling so deeply down and ashamed of my country Also Home Depot is cooperating with ICE - donโt even give them your money #ICE #Monrovia #murderers #HomeDepot
Just watched the first episode of Butterfly and it's good.
Just saw this news article. It didn't give any details on the sexual misconduct, but you look at the group and immediately think "what the hell were these four up to?"
As I was watching it I thought that I would find it more entertaining if she were at a regular school instead of that Hogwarts thing they got going.
Elon's company is building an underground tunnel in Nashville running from the airport to downtown in which Telsas will shuttle passengers. So to sum up, fuck that. (Nashville has been, for decades, one of my favorite places to travel for concerts. St. Louis is moving way up in the rotation.)
I thought about posting joke news from the podcast that Taylor Swift is on, but her fans don't fuck around, so for my own safety, I will not be doing that.
Whenever my companies CEO sends out a lengthy email about a holiday celebration or talking up an employee, he uses chatgpt to write it. I can tell by how awkward parts of it sound and also there are 30 em dashes which is a dead giveaway.
That cat freaked me out. ๐
Alien Earth is freaking me out.
I don't think there's ever going to be one. I could write "I love puppies" someone likes the post, and then I edit it to "kill all puppies" and now that person has liked that. Unless there's a timer situation, as in you can edit for one minute and then it's locked.
Noah Hawley really captured the feel of the Fargo movie when he did the tv series. I just started watching Alien Earth and he does the same thing. I was floored at how he captured not only the look, but the dialouge style and the way it overlapped. Incredible.
Drive Away Dolls looked cool, seemed like something I would like, and was directed by one of the Coen Brothers. I was annoyed by it and tapped out 15 minutes in.
It's crazy how many "gang members" have been providing our food and building our homes and whatnot.
You know those days at work where you're full of energy and just bouncing around and doing stuff and having a great time? Me, either.