I go to an open casket funeral like man if I could grab a quick nap for a couple of centuries I’d be ready to rock
I came here to meticulously dissect contemporary politics and post feet, and I’m all out of politics. Taurus.
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I go to an open casket funeral like man if I could grab a quick nap for a couple of centuries I’d be ready to rock
Wikipedia has a trippy definition of the political spectrum
Actually, THAT may be the perfect review
I don’t think you can be a “former Eagle Scout.” That kind of defining characteristic is always in the present tense
What the hell is a left-leaning Republican, other than nonexistent
Plagiarism and falsehoods, this is definitely a guy ChatGPT could replace
It isn’t too late for those things to become true
Didn’t she play the same part in Zero Dark Thirty
He had a dog’s head, like a dog
BREAKING: Michael Jordan listed on Michael Jordan flight logs
Yeah you don’t gotta hand it to them in general but this is solid
Ah yes podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/l...
Thanks. I did listen to a podcast episode about it but I can’t remember which podcast
Having slaves is rude I guess
To remind us that HRC picked an anti-abortion running mate
Too soon?
Charlie Brown had slaves
Muted slaves
This country’s biggest problem is the group of people who say that I suck and provide ample evidence as to why
Their voters are getting what they want. Conservatives want vengeance for all slights, real or perceived; liberals yearn for bipartisanship with the people who would burn them for fuel
Holiness is a burden but it’s all we know
All sports should be like this. Courtside fans at basketball games should sit closer so they can snatch passes
Devil in the White City ass house
Ok this one seems like Trump wrote it
I thought you looked familiar
The birds are actually for divination. RFKJ is a trusted haruspex
Is this AI or does it just suck
An homage to James Garfield
The Jared Fogle Story
It’s plausibly a joke. There is no “obviously” online, some people are utterly baffled at all times
The best offense is a good defenestration
I got defenestrated through the Overton Window. It was somehow considered acceptable by the general public
Ugh imagine what Trump’s bloated pre-corpse would do to a t-shirt
The public is begging for health care while we’re paying for a rich guy’s presidential suite at the hospital
He also had possibly the best celebrity interaction ever youtu.be/lQzvpnmh4H8?...
Talent, pipe, AND Rooney Mara. You can in fact have it all
Get fully bricked then roll camera like 1 minute after the descent begins
You could grab fifty Bluesky users at random and find at least 10 who could do a more convincing Trump post than this. Me, you couldn’t pay me enough to do it, but I would do it for even slightly less than enough if there’s cash up front
To wit, correctly
Our friend Broadus occasionally suffers from Chronic Insufficiency (ask your grandchildren)
This is as active as I’ve ever seen him. It was years ago and he looks like a goof
My elocution class repeats “fifty feral ferrets” as a warmup exercise
Thanks to the tariffs I can’t even afford a down payment on a lonely heart
Gonna have to keep my 2112 jokes on ice for like 90 years
At least cops are more than willing to wear masks now
I actually know what haole means but at first I thought you misspelled a-hole
Why use the phrase “virtue signaling” when “common decency” means the same thing
Didn’t see any teens in the Capitol on January 6
Ok so Bezos has a hollow mountain and Musk is running with an Epstein plan. Everything is not only great, it’s much greater than I thought
Ok Trump finally made an appearance
Also I don’t think A Bridge Too Far was a particularly good movie
Yeah I guess a lot of war failures are based on charismatic dingbats who always want to attack ignoring smarter guys who realize that defensive positions and tactical withdrawals are often better moves. “Our men are more aggressive and gallant then theirs” is a recurring delusion
That’s ok but overall I cannot abide alliterative or rhyming nicknames. I’d go with Horizontal Don or The Ghost of Dipshits Past
The opening scene of Patton is legit great, and some of the early scenes are ok. Then it goes on and on
The scene was about his white date realizing how offensive BaT was to an Asian person, and the movie as a whole deals with how Asians were (are) depicted in American movies. It sort of gets him laid, so there’s that
Patton may have been ruined by people who looked at him as a role model. The movie depicts him as an egotistical, deluded prick, and asks if you need deluded pricks to win wars. Which is sort of a fair question. Not that Patton won the war
I think it might be a great example of the “both kinda liked it” genre, and the guy is grasping at straws trying to think of a shared experience. Like it seems like a solid choice for a first date movie. There’s a scene in the Bruce Lee biopic where he sees it on a first date actually
The “classics” are a real mixed bag. Like I still think Lawrence of Arabia is great, plus or minus Alec Guinness in brownface. But Patton, other than a few great performances and scenes, is quite lame
I’m going to try out “how dare you say this so soon after the anniversary of D-Day”
That movie is pretty trash. Without Audrey Hepburn it sinks without a trace
If a school shooting ever happens at a homeschool I will kind of get it
That’s why I assumed it was sarcastic. “Mere days from the 9/11 anniversary” is funny. But who knows, some people are insane
If you ever made somebody nut by eating their tomatoes I salute you
We’re all gonna die because a drug-and-critter-addled failson puts air quotes around “experts”
At the time doubted the plausibility of a whole bunch of guys devoting their lives to Tyler Durden but pal I no longer doubt it
Did he at least rank the sites
Makes you a carpal tunnel case study
If I say it my dick has a problem
At major corporations CEO is an entry-level position
It was me I said it
Aw man
“My bad” is always a good start
I think we all have a healthy combination of respect for and fear of Dionne Warwick
Marlon Wayons proved his legitness in Requiem For a Dream
RATM is for the children
White gentiles are the Kanyes of whiteness. Jewish whites went 79% for Harris (miss me me with the Fox News numbers, which still only give Trump 30%). White gentiles have been dragging us down since forever. I mean, “some of my best friends” and all, but oof www.jta.org/2024/11/06/u...
What the kids lack in knowledge they make up for by also lacking social skills
/EKG beeps indifferently
Thiel is personally guarded by the ED209
Pairs well with cryptocurrency, coin of the realm for illegal transactions
Yes, and also, phrasing
It was a response to a joke about sarcasm and idk if it’s sarcastic, I am truly lost
So RFK Jr is taking the grandkids snorkeling I suppose
I remember reading that Joe Sr said of RFK Sr, “the kid hates like I hate.” And if he didn’t say it he should have
Trump is not necessarily alive, this is not the way he typically misuses capital letters
Blue in Face
Now that BYU football has been desemitified they went overboard with the Mormonness of their names
“Presumably they called it ‘X’ because of the overwhelming divorced energy”
It absolutely explains it
/stares in Mengele
Draw some stick figures idgaf
Speak for yourself. I want to opine about the NBA MVP race 30 years after I die
So much no. Do these goofs even know how puns are supposed to work
I’m sure churches still get really angry about movies, like Spotlight
Watch ten minutes of the Netflix roast of Tom Brady (which btw I mostly enjoyed) and tell me that there’s any comedy you couldn’t do now
Correct use of quotation marks, inherently suspect
