Large fries and two apple pies coming right up
Time flies when you're living in crisis Your favorite metal head 🤌🏻 Devisms: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hralgjy2sjmhmrt3fdxd4wvt/feed/aaacpdj65sizy Bangerisms: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:hralgjy2sjmhmrt3fdxd4wvt/feed/aaaltb736mrsi
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Large fries and two apple pies coming right up
Don’t tell me how to live my life
Sure but I wanted McDonald’s hamburgers
This is awesome!!!
👋🏻
If you invite me to anything that starts after 9pm i’m not going.
I like thinking about you thinking about me
2 cheeseburgers AND chicken nuggies
Dinner is McDonald’s and wine aka what I call the Midwest Fancy
This is unfair
Shhhh, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want to lose my street cred
Tipsy is just your body switching from “fight or flight” to “cute and giggly”
I am tipsy and watching tv 🤣
I had to tell myself dad jokes since my dad is a dead beat
Is it really? Lmao
Aww thanks! Now I only have 54 projects left 🤣
when does a duper become super
Maybe she doesn’t need saving. Maybe she needs you to hold her hand while she saves herself.
Post a random picture or else everything will go bad in September
I should buy a fanny pack and some heelies to pull up on the bitches
Taking time out of my busy schedule to practice self-care (Screaming. Just fucking screaming.)
Before I ate the Roast Chicken I found in the trash can: 🤍🤍🤍❤️❤️ After I ate the Roast Chicken I found in the trash can: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
I’m sorry but my brain gets more tireder sometimes so it makes it harderer
Many people don’t know this, but every time you defeat one of your haters you gain the use of their weapon.
Fuck yessssss
🫶🏻❤️
You’re so wholesome though! I’ll fight anyone who follows then unfollows you. Me on the other hand? My feed is a flaming dumpster fire 😉
WWE is a great option. I’ve been watching off and on for years. It’s definitely entertaining
Awwwww I love you too 🫶🏻💚
Me: can’t see the haters 😎
Free security system and he walked away? SMH
I cause heartburn but in a different way
Exactly! Protect your peace 🫶🏻🖤
SAME
And don’t get me started on the weird names for the Pay Per Views. Clash At Paris? Sounded like an action movie to me but some dude named Bronson jumped on top of another dude named Roman and Roman had to go to the hospital. I just don’t get it
Lmao you’ll be surprised to know I don’t like pumpkin spice anything
Oh man, I am so picky about who I follow. We have to have a decent number of mutuals in common OR they engage with me for a while on main before I’m like “yeah okay this person is cool”
Well I wouldn’t say I’m a 10. A solid 8? Sure
And then there’s this show called SmackDown? I thought it was SnackDown and got halfway through waiting for the snack recipes but all I got was sweaty men who throw each other around
Correct. I may be white but I would also use seasoning
He probably thought I was unstable and honestly, that’s valid
Homie was like “this bitch is funnier than me” 🤣
I don’t need that kind of energy in my social media bubble
Sure did 🫶🏻🤣
LOL just saw someone follow and then unfollow me and honestly, I get it
Payback for the donuts comment 😉
I had to also Google Glen Powell since I saw a comment on here. I saw who it was and was like “oh yeah that dude” 🤣
Scale from 1 - 10, maybe like a 7 but I be googling some dumb shit
You’d learn a ton of useless knowledge to tell your friends
My last Google search was to make sure Denny’s had the grand slam breakfast for this comment on @lv29ninetails.bsky.social photo 💀
Hey yoooooou guys, Let’s take a moment to hype up @pluperfectidiot.bsky.social! He took a huge step forward today and got the keys to his new place and is making a ton of positive changes for himself I have been so happy and proud to watch him flourish and am excited to see where he goes 🫶🏻❤️
Serenading @willcrashout.bsky.social with Sam Hunt on Snapchat every morning brings me such joy
When I die, release my search history as a limited Netflix docuseries
I strive to live an honest, authentic, and giving life, I try to be fair and reasonable, I try not to hurt others, and I try to see others’ perspectives. I only want the same, but I’m no longer disappointed when I don’t receive it.
Girl same
who is this "beholder" and when are they gonna tell us what beauty looks like??
(On a date) Me, trying to impress: there’s more of me than meets the eye Her, a decepticon: (eyes narrow)
how about i sit on your face about it
I AM SO FR
May your night be filled with handjibbers and fingerblasting
Yall can take your time. Just bring me iced coffee and donuts when you’re done and I’ll be Gucci
Well, damn. I don’t want to get in the middle of this *slowly backs away*
Don’t eat the yellow snow
She’s a 10 but her glasses are so thick she could start a fire
This sounds familiar
Ah yes, it’s that time of the week when my phone insults me with my screen time like I don’t already know I’m a lazy piece of shit
trying to say less weird shit to people, it isn’t working
@willcrashout.bsky.social
not here for a good time or a long time, but a secret third type of time
Kiss me, I taste like despair.
you deserve good things
DAAAAAMN GIRL LET ME TAKE YOU TO DENNY’S FOR A GRAND SLAM BREAKFAST
Hey yoooooou guys, Let’s take a moment to hype up @pluperfectidiot.bsky.social! He took a huge step forward today and got the keys to his new place and is making a ton of positive changes for himself I have been so happy and proud to watch him flourish and am excited to see where he goes 🫶🏻❤️
🫂
You are enough.
Oh boy…. I don’t do condiments. It’s a texture thing
[redacted] [redacted] [redacted]
Oh no, my walls, they’re broken
I’ll remember this
Zinger of a joke there. Come here often? 🤣
I STILL HAVEN’T GOTTEN DONUTS 😭
I think I misunderstood lmao I didn’t deactivate. I spend too much time on here 🤣 So did it only happen to people who deactivated?!
I think he said the same thing too from what I remember. I haven’t gone through and looked at mine so idk if it happened to everyone or just random people
@burritozen.net maybe this also happened to you too
*hits the dougie*
Brutally honest is my middle name
Bitches
You’re right, I’m not funny. I’m fucking hilarious 💅
Congrats, you just killed the vibe Hurry, take a shot
…and so do all who live to run out of weed. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.
Part of me wants to believe That I will not come apart at the seams That I will learn from the cut when I bleed That I’m a tank, I’m a goddamn machine
I’m making a shirt that says something similar
You’ve already done more than my dad ever did 🤣
Oh I can laugh about it now 🤣🫂
I had to tell myself dad jokes since my dad is a dead beat
Live, Laugh, Let’s not do this again
Me either! I have no plans and it’s going to stay that way
Wow, you'll just kiss lips emoji anyone now
Ate three baby carrots and now I have the strength of a horse
I have it as part of my Hulu bundle so I’ll still be watching