Beep beep I'm late get out of my way ! Morning Mark!!
Doomkick Forever New > https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ke42f4s5fguo3iqvhaojgou2/feed/aaachjbwf3hig Bangers > https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:ke42f4s5fguo3iqvhaojgou2/feed/aaachkczl6x6w My Other projects > https://linktr.ee/doomkick
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Beep beep I'm late get out of my way ! Morning Mark!!
Life is just a race to see how many cheese singles you can eat before you die.
I’m a bit insulted that none of you noticed my 6 ounce weight loss
I don’t need therapy. I need forehead kisses and reassurance that I’m not annoying for existing
Hiding and eating a delicious egg roll for breakfast
your secret is safe with me bc what were we talking about
"and another thing: im not dead. please dont put in the newspaper that i was dead."
Wanna go pool hoppin tonight?
Neighborhood kids making fart noises and telling fart jokes. Some things do stay the same🤣🤣😅
😂😂
Pay it forward
When I actually have to go into the office...
🥹🥹🥹
slept in a B – 52’s shirt, woke up in a love shack.
slept in a Bruce Springsteen shirt, woke up dancing in the dark
You know what really tweaks my taco? Men who infantilize femmes. Especially ones they don’t know. #tweaksmytaco #tacotuesday
Schrödinger’s Internet Where everyone forgets about you when you leave Where everyone remembers when you posted *that* At the same time
Don’t be shy, I won’t bite Unless you want me to
Slept without a shirt, woke up with you in between
Let You Break My Heart Again tidal.com/browse/album...
The 2pm announcement
Today’s ducks
If you see this post an archer
degenerates and poets tapping veins while slitting wrists 📸Sabine Weiss #brokenpoet
Fuck. Had a dream about my stilettos on your shoulders again #brokenpoet
Dear World What comes after numb ? I fear it is death Please tell me tis not Shall be eagerly awaiting for your reply among the warm fires set in tangerine groves where darting dragonflies gather among the few of us who still need to believe in better Sincerely, Hope #brokenpoet
the seduction of quiet poems with hidden trip wires..
😂😂
Sshh… we are now witnessing the reclusive Mr Owl revealing that it does in fact take 3 licks to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop lollipop
There are some things you could live your entire life perfectly happy not knowing.
Adversarial as an art form.
History is written by the victors, but thankfully the good guys have always won.
The press needs to stop acting like they don’t have a stake in the outcome.
Sometimes I feel like I’m in big trouble, and then it passes.
What possesses anyone on their first time hearing an accordion being played to think ‘I want to dedicate myself to getting good at that’?
Of all the nicknames I’ve had over the years, my least favourite has to be ‘the accused’.
I used to blame all my mistakes at work on astrological misfortune and simple bad luck when in truth they’re generally really just the result of cheap vodka and my own crashing incompetence.
My favouritest overs ranked: 10. feeling over the moon 9. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest 8. The White Cliffs of Dover 7. do-overs 6. it’s over for you bitches 5. Bridge Over Troubled Water 4. Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture 3. The Overlook Hotel 2. 4 leaf clovers 1. Marty’s hoverboard
Are you in a serious relationship? No, we laugh at dumbshit all the time.
Have you ever heard of a psychic winning the lottery? Seems kind of strange.
I do the fun stuff on my to do list, everything else is just filler and gets moved down the list daily until they're completely off the page.
I don't know why I have an alarm system I don't have anything worth stealing, I should leave the door open my insurance would buy me new shit.
"I'm done with you jerks" I say at least once a week.
Gonna start replying "peird" to weird posts anytime I agree
the patriarchy doesn’t want me to have pockets well I’ll wear men’s clothes idgaf Aeropostale got men’s cargo shorts ‘buy one get TWO free’ so now I’m making a list of all the things I’m gonna carry in my new charcoal, black, and khaki shorts pockets
let’s start a cult and tell everyone an angel appeared in your dream to inform you that you’re having a god’s baby and all must worship the holy little thing
Candy for breakfast! I shout as I slam my gummy multivitamins like a damn rockstar
now that I’m wearing men’s shorts I ain’t gotta shave my legs anymore it’s a whole vibe
No one is less confused than a woman in a disagreement who says “I guess I’m just a little confused” btw. RUN
They should make a self cleaning apartment
if I'm a freak and you're a pervert then who's flying the plane?
i need to get my shit together. i could be a better dirtbag
If you've never minded the bullocks then never mind about never minding them
I’m a giver. *gives you grief*
Platsdela mig bby, mitt svärd är nästan nyslipat
Them: Can we talk ? Me: You have five minutes After that I take off my bra and stop hearing
Me in the family chat: "When I win this lottery I'm going incognegro. Don't file no missing persons or call a press conference embarrassing with y'all broke asses." 😆
It's not that I can see things that aren't even there, it's that I picture force field webs between connections and I never disturb them that's how I tiptoe through the tulips for a tiny time leading ukulele spirits from a dead serious jazz bass
A pair of boarding passes for a flight to Austin • Tickets to a 1993 Screaming Trees show • Bal á Versailles spritzer iridescent in scent • Metal Budweiser bottle snuck from Camden Yards • A box of Dots as hard & stubborn as a woman with cancer can be • Fairy bells, still sounding newborn
I’m pooping at work. Please clap
the early bird about to catch this full clip
Damn right the military needs to clean up Chicago that’ll teach those tourists not to bump into my table on the Riverwalk and nearly spill my glass of pink champagne
Went to bed in no t-shirt and woke up in no t-shirt.
i’m not saying soup sucks but you do if you like soup
Thinking about becoming one of those guys who says "You bet your sweet bippy"
😂😂😂
Slept in a Beatles shirt, woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my head
Me and my late (as usual) offering for #grilledcheeseforpeace
Post your favourite go to horror/creepy/scary/disturbing film
What might be right for you, may not be right for some. -Diff'rent Bsky Strokes theme song
Oh, that smacks of effort. *smacks self in the head*
Just bought my ticket for Napistan.
Nuggets of sanity, worn down by the river of stupidity.
Slept in a Peter Gabriel shirt last night, shocked my monkey.
😂😂😂
He's the MC
everybody gangsta communist until it comes to mugs
💯
i need more fishnets
😂😂
Next time that happens lay down on a plate of meatballs it'll fix you right up
it's way too late so I'm not gonna do it like I'm in bed rn and I should have been asleep an hour ago but I rly want something with bacon on it. jr bacon cheeseburger my beloved where r u
I’m no artist, but I see things.
When speaking in shorthand to those you care about, be sure to always.
They called me cocky, but I think they're just jealous of my cheese-filled cowl-neck scarf.
oh hell yeah 🔥 wtf is UP, michael trinh?! 😎
at first, they were entertained
but what came next came sooner than they thought it would
i’ve wasted my life
😂😂😂
pumpkin spice was the 6th spice girl but she died for your sins of sick autumn cravings. don't fall under the spell of the barista's siren song. repent you savages or feel the wrath of pumpy (that's her nickname).
Don’t be a dick. Thank you.
Somehow two years ago we stopped watching Ozark with two episodes left. Finished tonight. The fuck!? Talk amongst yourselves.
i thought of a funny post but then i forgot, so you’ll just have to take my word for it
I’m sorry I can’t be with someone who believes it’s just a goddamn “spoon”
I'm back, now with even more microplastics!
hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my underwear, filled with confetti
she said she got BPD, she Buss that Pussy Down
😂😂😂💜
😂😂😂