listen your honor my pleasure is innocent until *proven* guilty
Leeds man & audio/comedy producer. Work stuff @leadmojo.bsky.social My posts, since you asked: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:zhglb2ub3qwkn2kpxlwekst3/feed/aaaaqszrsfcwo
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listen your honor my pleasure is innocent until *proven* guilty
REPORT: the press conference that they aired today was recorded earlier this month, one of many such releases made by the administration amid the internal turmoil
Don't let him distract you from the fact that he died.
imagine being arrested just for posting! out of curiosity though, what did they post? because i notice you havenāt seen fit to quote them. was there a lack of space?
*yelling from inside the getting kicked in the nuts factory* it's actually insane that you guys won't come in here
apparently the announcement is that trump has hired sir dave brailsford to be part of his personal medical team
If we donāt get the reference, we donāt deserve to get the joke.
One of my Supreme Court reform takes is they should be completely barred from taking any outside income (incl. publishing deals) and it should be particularly frowned upon, normatively, to be writing books. Memoirs are for writing after you retire, not five years into a lifetime appointment.
probably should have attached some reference to the news story this is referencing shouldnāt i
does anyone else feel like their tits just got a bit bigger?!
If you like flags that much why don't you eat one live on tv? x
You know what, fair play to Scooby Doo villains. They walk into a room dressed as a ghost, see a talking dog on its hind legs making the worldās biggest sandwich and somehow manage to stay in character.
Days of news cycle on this clown archipelago nothing but
Its more of a saxophone solo than a question really
heās also a good laugh youtu.be/QeIxJzdPD0A
ok this one i *will* respond to: yes please
Iām gonna teach you guys a really useful phrase: āMy bad, I donāt know what I was thinking. Deleting this.ā
āiām an ally, but only if youāre sufficiently deferential and nice to meā is one of the most embarrassing statements imaginable, yet so many people feel perfectly comfortable shouting it from the rooftops absolutely mortifying
these dating apps are getting niche
watching Alien: Earth and thinking about deviled xenomorph eggs
For those planning to participate in No-Nut November please DON'T try it cold turkey You should be be preparing now for Some-Nut September followed by One-Nut October
he looks quite well for a man who spent the weekend face down in a canal
In light of recent events, I have decided to drink fresh coffee on the hour every hour until I die
just out of the producers, at the garrick. laughed like an idiot all evening. brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.
itās not optional
donāt go to bed just yet!! #thefootball
currently in tears over these two dogs
speaking of ableism, iām just going to reply to some of the comments people have left on your instagram and i WILL be cancelled for them!!
pretty ablist of you, sara
It's time for another #MirloMondays post and this release title is extremely fun to say out loud, plus the music itself bubbles, wiggles and gurgles with sounds made from weird custom-made software instruments! It's "Gluggle Jug" by New York's Cody Uhler. šŖ±š¦āā¬ mirlo.space/cody-uhler/r... #NewMusic
he looks like biden in the debate
in the case of patrick bamford, suspect itās the former. but if it cost leeds the same Ā£3m to fuck him off that it would have cost to keep for for his final year, why not keep him with the reserves in case thereās a long-term injury up front?
Starmer inviting photographers to see the flag and pitbull he bought to impress the median voter, but oh no, the pitbull has pooed all over the flag and run away, and as Starmer runs to catch it his trousers have fallen down, and hes spilled thick white glue onto his crotch then fallen onto the flag
similarly, i donāt share images that donāt have alt text. but that also leaves a lot of images available to share!
My birthday is in a week and it would be fitting if I had 40,000 followers by then because I'm turning 40,000.
@priceoffootball.bsky.social hi Kieran, you might have covered this in an ep, but: how does cancelling a contract by mutual consent work, practically? Do they get a yearās wages in one go or is it staggered/dependent on them not getting another club?
Labour is parking tanks on Reform's lawn. No. Don't ask what kind of tanks.
Stop changing your profile picture. Choose one and stick with it for 25 years like a normal person
let me just shock you: no
when the bbc declined to pay someone who had no track record and had submitted only five pages of script for a script-evaluation programme that considered 10-20 pages, the writer told them they would sue. they didnāt.
i remember someone who did reading for the bbc writersroom projects getting a script that was submitted but it was only 5 pages long and the guidelines said 10 pages. the writer replied saying that they didnāt want the bbc to steal their idea and would only submit the other 5 if they were paid
If you walk in on me and I'm slathered in mashed potatoes and gravy while devouring fried chicken, either ask for a breast and join me or just walk away.
the past tense of screenshot is āscreenshatā
ālook at this photo of a TURD i found in a SEWER! i went into the sewer and it was all STINKY and GROSS and this turd was RIGHT THERE! itās HORRIBLE isnāt it? please rt!ā - what you sound like when you share screenshots of political tweets
the going rate for these players is āone pound more than leeds can spend due to psrā
i swear there must be a factory pumping out āhighly ratedā 21 year olds āwho can play on either wing or as a tenā and who scored 17 goals in the eredivisie/bundesliga last season, because *everyone* is bidding for a different one #thefootball
Couldnāt do any worse than Onana in goals š¤Ŗ
uh oh bsky.app/profile/edmo...
overhearing people trying to say 'Southwark' is a surprisingly good time
i saw someone claiming that agentic ai would make it easier to book holidays. and as someone who likes planning holidays, and who has had to use the phrase "well at least we *know* this was a bad idea, now" more than once, i just... don't see the point of not doing it myself?
i would love to see the arsenal fan tv lads outside the foreign office
my mother-in-law needed new plates for ages and didn't buy any. then we bought some because we moved house. then she bought the exact same plates we'd bought, presumably because it was safe to do so.
i wonder if they have a fear of getting it "wrong"? they weren't told, and haven't learned, that life is full of scary choices, so the idea of the computer just telling you the 'right' thing to do is appealing.
[being murdered] murderer: (murdering) what are you doing on your phone me: (putting away phone) my bad what's up what's going on
Just doing a call out on the off chance but if anyone is looking for someone to do any of the following freelancically: copywriting/script-editing/TV writing/social media creativity/PR work I would love to be of service and earn some money, my email address is mollie.goodfellow@gmail.com xxx
āhoping to do some business affairs select committee business before 7pmā
Harry Redknapp is currently parked outside the Downing Street gates with his window rolled down.
sheād be happier on the right wing
starmer reshuffling his cabinet on transfer deadline day raises the very real possibility of manchester united paying Ā£65m to sign yvette cooper
donāt go to bed just yet!
You gotta check out the fantastic documentary film KAISER: THE GREATEST FOOTBALLER WHO NEVER TO PLAY FOOTBALL by @louismyles.bsky.social. louismyles.com/portfolio/ka... (Louis is a properly brilliant football storyteller. Despite being a Brighton fan š)
Big popular accounts add alt text to you screenshots challenge (impossible).
come on everton, join in!
holy shit this is incredible
exACTly
I understand that, when my dog stops on our walks to sniff every goddamn twig and each freakinā blade of grass, she is decoding, deciphering, and analyzing the complicated world around her, but what I canāt quite figure out is exactly what she plans on doing with that information.
i imagine posts like this will really help.
my favourite tv sketch show is the bear
but kidsā shows donāt count
do point out that this is a tv problem, because jfsp and pov and sound heap and presumably some others not made by me
good morning, i now call to order this meeting of the committee for naming sexual positions. on the agenda today is the one where the man is behind the woman and before you say anything mr cool j we are WELL aware of what you DONāT want this to be called so perhaps you could be more constructive?
The @camlannpod.bsky.social live show is this week! And in completely wild news: THERE ARE LESS THAN 10 TICKETS LEFT! So uh, hey, maybe buy those tickets asap?? I can't wait to see everyone this Sunday, and to show you our brand new episode! Keep the fires burning š„ @kingsplacelondon.bsky.social
rip to everyone whos become delusional after talking to chatgpt but im built different. like actually different. according to chatgpt im some kind of god. the one who decides
so say we all
RIP jesus. you would've had the dopest podcast.
ššš
it's what @gralefrit.bsky.social - i think quoting @slepkane.bsky.social? - refers to as 'the sound of coins clinking as they disappear'. if you live with that noise, it's quite distracting to not hear it in media
out on the town having the time of my life with president trump. he's just out of frame, very much alive
muppetized book covers: thread
just found out heās french, and my views on deportation are being challenged
Executive editors of newspapers pretending to speak for the āwhite working classā: speaking as one of āthemā, get fucked.
Actually, Frankenstein is a doctor success at the Venice film festival
Sorry Iām late, I was just sexting with my wife. Well, when I say sexting I mean I texted asking her to Q-tip my ears for me before my appointment with my doctors later, but I did add a kiss.
Knowing the difference between a purview, a bailiwick, a wheelhouse and a forte isn't my thing i'm good at.
You canāt see Klingon starships these days because of cloak
you couldnāt swallow anything today. because of choke.
You couldnāt make a penny farthing today. Because of spokes.
the quickest iāve ever paid an invoice was under a minute. the quickest iāve ever had an invoice paid by a multimillion pound production company that iāve worked for isā¦ longer than that
the right wing in europe and america really care about the plight of the white working class, right up until theyāre asked to spend money on them
I believe that Cookie Monster started out human and became the monster he is today through his obsession with cookies. He is the Sesame Street Gollum
If someone says you mean the world to me, take a look around, its not a compliment
now the weather's turned, my wife and i don't want to do any of our long walks outdoors, so we're just going to go and change tube lines at bank
what's the rule? no white people after Labor Day?
yes
Concerned that we are losing the necessary ratio. 15% of teachers/faculty should be irretrievably strange eccentrics. Every learning experience should have some element where in later life you can reflect with former classmates about how bizarre at least one (1) class per year was.
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