Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
There's also an enormous difference between a privileged white kid from the San Fernando Valley and a 31-year-old who signed for 10k.
West coast MLB Draft prospect analyst. Views are my own and almost exclusively bad. ✡️ Big West Conference musings at https://bigwestdugout.com/
1,110 followers 464 following 4,540 posts
view profile on Bluesky Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
There's also an enormous difference between a privileged white kid from the San Fernando Valley and a 31-year-old who signed for 10k.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Yes.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
He's a complete creep, but he'll turn down the QO, anyway.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Raptured early, I'm afraid.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Y'all remember Ramón Urías?
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Jose Altuve has only had 66 plate appearances in Triple-A parks.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
That was only Cam Smith's 20th plate appearance in a Triple-A park (they have all been in this park.)
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
That was only Zach Cole's 62nd plate appearance in a Triple-A park.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
ABS doesn't even net zero missed calls.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
"Let's Get Yid On."
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
oh no u found my blog
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Not this Reds fan complaining that Elly De La Cruz "not stealing" is what lost them the game. My man, he was 3-for-3 with a home run and both of your RBIs. He tried to steal but McLain fouled it off. What do you want from this man?
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Manoahboard.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I have rarely agreed with anything more.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I'm almost fifty and I do this literally every single day. What are you talking about? [gets to the halfway point in the video] Oh, I see.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Please remember not to post your Rapture spoilers. Some of us live on the west coast and want to be surprised.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
When I added, "But I actually mostly follow west coast college baseball," he looked as if I'd betrayed him.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
It's incredibly funny to me to treat your fandom like a rare genetic disorder that your family only talks about in hushed tones under the cover of darkness.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Did a panel at NYU today and someone asked me what my favorite baseball team was. When I replied, "The Houston Astros," he smiled and said he was from Kingwood and nobody he asks that question of "ever admits to being an Astros fan."
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
well have i got news for you
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Incredible part is I deleted and reposted to fix two typos and still managed to miss "why cares."
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I can't type. Probably because of Tylenol.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
The bigger point is this: Why cares what causes autism? This is like determining what "causes" left-handedness. It's just a way that a person can be. We don't need to select for it. We don't need to eradicate it. This is all so eugenic.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
A regression line is a line of best fit (but not all lines of best fit are regression lines.)
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
TikTokification
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
3 is the x coordinate. 4 is the y. Are you calculating line of best fit? y=mx+b?
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Its the trendline.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
It's so weird how offended they pretend to be over this completely benign tweet.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
How are we supposed to hear the shofar over Gabriel's trumpet?
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Putting the Rapture on Rosh Hashanah is just poor planning.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Auli'i was out when I saw it, and her understudy was the best Sally Bowles I've ever seen.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Contractually, I am forced to disagree. 😂
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I saw Bebe in Cabaret in December and she is still perfect.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Maybe HawaiiWorms is short for HawaiiBrainWorms.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
A game of horseshooooeeeesssss!!!
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
The thing I have taken away from post-scandal baseball fandom is that the people who love to whine about baseball players' integrity rarely have any.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Anyway, it's definitely because of his strongly-held opinions on, uh, mid-nineteenth century politics and not because of sports, so the joke's on you!
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I think he's a Phillies fan. I'll leave it to you to decide whether that's better.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Yes, Landon's swing is basically identical to his dad's, but the similarities don't go far past that. He lacks his dad's power potential, but he's much more athletic. Middle infielder with good speed. He's committed to Tennessee.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Shocking, I know, but Jim Thome's kid can flat-out hit.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I've been saying all year that I think that missing the playoffs would be the best thing that could happen to them, but that unfortunately I don't think they will.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
How else does one mourn?
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
For a guy who was allegedly so good at bringing people together, the crowd at his funeral is awfully homogenous.
Asher Elbein (@asherelbein.bsky.social) reposted reply parent
It's sobering, in its way, to realize that there was truly nobody (save, perhaps, his children) who knew him that loved him as a man. He made himself into content, and he died as content, and his funeral is the most content of all. Soundbites to soundbites, bits to bits
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
You've worked very diligently on this. I really hope it brings you great things.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
I like baseball because it reminds me of my father, the first man to ever let me down.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
😂
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
She ignored me, which means she loves you too.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
What a cutie!!
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I work very closely with several immigration attorneys and sponsor about a dozen visas, and you will never convince me that the entire system is not a grift. People are making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year by inserting themselves as "gatekeepers" and grinding the system to a halt.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Right lol gee IDK I can't come up with a single reason.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Hahaha I love this.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I'm not going to engage with the skeet in question. Misgendering someone in a ham-fisted effort to brigade them, all for one (1) like, is embarrassing enough without escalating it. But just in general, let's all (me included) try to be a lot cooler to each other.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
"Had to screenshot because this person turned off replies and quotes." That's called consent, and you don't have it.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Done.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
This is Koshka. She is annoyed that my photography has interrupted her nap.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I will act a fool if that happens, but I have still been uninvested for months.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Honestly not even a bit. I've been pretty unaffected this entire season.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Overheard: "He looks like a fat David Lynch." "You mean a David Lunch?"
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
I wrote this team off in April, so it's all found money at this point.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
And kinda disrespectful to Robles tbh.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Golden retriever energy gives and golden retriever energy takes away.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Looks like he (?) blocked you, but little does he know that as we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Fuckin' Benny.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
He was not even the tying run lmao. What the fuck man.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Jake Meyers on his himbo shit.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
he was k*lled by a galvanized young conservative
The Shlabotnik Report (@shlabotnik-rpt.bsky.social) reposted
I believe that Sloppy Joe Pringles played shortstop for the St. Louis Browns in the 1920s
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
It's really cool of his teammates to help commemorate this accomplishment by striking out 200 times in this game.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
It's in rehearsals right now at Paper Mill. Carmen Cusack is playing the Susan Sarandon role and Nik Walker is playing Crash Davis.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
I'm sorry but this Bull Durham musical looks awesome.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
"i don't want to hear your most boomer complaint" IS my most millennial complaint
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
It rhymes with "feta."
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Goetta is a German breakfast sausage with oats and onions in it. I guess Glier's is a brand, but goetta has pork in it so I've never tried it. Grippo's is a pretty good potato chip brand, honestly. Ohio has a few: Mike-Sell's, Ballreich, Conn's.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
It is unreal the returns you can get on a forty dollar bouquet of flowers. People are hurting for recognition so much.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Not since 1773.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Proof of concept did not go well.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I think it might even be like 2 or 3 nicknames ago for them lol.
Bohemia Mountain (@bohemiamountain.bsky.social) reposted
I don’t want to talk about this at all. I’m really rather heartbroken that after this amount of time, along with all my other Altadena friends, I still have to post this. There’s thousands of us, and we all need your help. I just want to build, that’s it. Help. gofund.me/7984bd4d2
Disco Danny Hayes (@danhayesmlb.bsky.social) reposted
"If some guys were really picky about their pants, it might take 15 minutes.” Read why #MNTwins clubhouse attendant Tim Burke created an app to help his #MLB brethren. www.nytimes.com/athletic/664...
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
The only surprising part of this entire story is that that guy actually went to Starbucks regularly.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Because Golden Tornadoes was already taken by Georgia Tech (this is not a joke).
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
It's so frustrating, dude. They've just let themselves become so angry and bitter. Like, I know there's got to still be a real person in there somewhere.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Most of them can't dance very well, either. They're just doing their best and having a good time!
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
There is one person on baseball BlueSky who lost his job for skeeting that the Libs of TikTok lady should "catch one in the neck."
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Yeah but that guy has voted Democrat so what do you know.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Home of the Rockhounds.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Saltstick at bedtime.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
That makes no sense, but here's a take for you, numbnuts: It doesn't actually have to be a joke to be covered by the first amendment!
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I think it was Neal Brennan in a Q&A who said something like, "We may have the best jokes, we may not, but if there was an Emmy for the MOST jokes, we'd definitely win it every time."
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
Those writers rooms are probably the toughest assignment in entertainment television. You get paid to yap about sports and are wrong on almost every single point you make.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Anyone who asks why a late-night comedy joke wasn't funny has never watched late-night comedy.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social)
Best thing that ever happened to Stephen Colbert's career was getting canceled by the right. Maybe Kimmel will find a way to be good now.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
He didn't mention anything like that. His job is burned, but he and his family are together, safe, and have community support. He did want to thank everyone for thinking of him, and said he missed you all.
High Heat Stats (@highheatstats.bsky.social) reposted
One of my most favorite lists—the 8 guys with 300 homers and 300 stolen bases. Includes father and son Bonds, plus two underrated journeymen—Steve Finley and Reggie Sanders. Jose Altuve and Jose Ramirez each have a good shot to join this group.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
I also negotiate for a living and it is like they have interpreted the anchoring effect to mean sinking their opening as low as it will possibly go.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
He's in a no-win position on this stuff, so I'm empathetic, but this is a lot of words to say nothing is definite.
Eephus Tosser (@eephustosser.bsky.social) reply parent
lol these just sound like words