Oh! Uh, of course! 😬 I mean, it says free so it is free!
A neurospicy word nerd who gets his little dopamine hits from etymology trivia, running far, listening to music loudly, and the odd sweet treat. May be a golden retriever in a person suit.
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Oh! Uh, of course! 😬 I mean, it says free so it is free!
My favourite marketing fallacy is the "free gift". First, it's redundant, because a gift that isn't free is called a "purchase". Second, it's rarely free because you almost always need to buy something else to receive it.
I'm not saying our economy is broken or anything, but Walmarts around here let you pay with Klarna at check-out.
I have at least two millennial coworkers who would laugh at the stupidity of this sticker.
Hi. You're cute.
I need to stop getting upset when people tell me "you're not an introvert" or "you don't have a self-confidence issue" and start recognizing them as compliments to my masking skills.
Being a sports journalist/commentator (with a focus on baseball) would be like a dream job for me if I didn't have to pretend to be an idiot just to drum up talking points.
And if I started going to the gym again, I'd be my own best customer
MILLION-DOLLAR IDEA: one of those tech vending machines like they have in airports, but at the gym. And like exclusively headphones.
SWEET MOTHER OF- Evanescence’s Amy Lee, Spiritbox’s Courtney LaPlante and Poppy will release a collaborative single soon | Louder share.google/O0aDOhhFB2ln...
I'm not saying I'm prone to making bad decisions but my opening Wordle word is often all grey.
Thanks to Garmin Connect for reminding me that I shouldn't stress if my run was slow or it felt bad, because I can fixate on how lazy and out of shape I am instead.
Right now Costco has remnants of summer/outdoor/camping/BBQ season, next to Halloween candy and costumes, across from Christmas decorations. Not disorienting at all.
Classic, yes. But "classic rock" is a designation unto itself. CCR, Lynyrd Skynyrd, George Thorogood, I can see those as classic rock. Grouping LP in with them is more painful than... well, getting out of bed these days.
Because I weigh my ingredients like a good little baker, I can tell you that this is almost 2.8 kg, or 6.2 lbs, of cookie dough. Any guesses on how many bomb-ass chocolate chip cookies this will turn out?
Why cry? As far as I'm concerned, filthy heathen is a term of endearment.
What...? Porn accounts?!?! *Clutches pearls*
And it's CERTAINLY not the 2000s. So someone please tell my classic rock station to stop playing Linkin Park.
Do I need to order my tickets?
I'd like to say the secret ingredient to my cookies is love, but it's really this. (and maybe salted butter)
Oh you can tell it's chatGPT because of the em dashes? Weren't you the one a few months ago saying you could tell because it used the word "delve"? I think the LLM is training you, not the other way around.
Wheeeee I just went after someone on LinkedIn for trying to rationalize "AI assistance" in copywriting. We'll either have a civil discourse, or I'll form a new hobby.
I'm not concerned about losing my hair, because I'm always accumulating so much dog hair, it'll all even out. Maybe even a net gain for me.
That's a bit of a commute for my next tattoo, but sounds like it'd be 100% worth it
Oh man. I wrote an article for a client in an industry full of odd technicalities on a difficult subject to research, and they liked it. This is bad news for my imposter syndrome.
I don't think I could wish harm on someone, no matter how much of a garbage human they happen to be. This, however, this is something I can wish for.
Noooo so sorry 😔 Please accept this rotisserie chicken as apology
Oh look. A hot take machine who prefers hockey hates that another sport actually has an entertaining All Star Game: thescore.com/mlb/news/331...
Yeah why is ADHD such a douche like that?! I don't seem to understand the length of my own arms or that there are hands at the end of them. I've broken so many dishes as a result. 💔
Oh you love shopping at Costco, do ya? Show me your huge collection of Puma ankle socks then.
Neither here nor there, but I used to own fancy rats AND I fostered pregnant rats. Their babies are stupid cute.
Monday morning commute jams provided by my *other* favourite UK group that mashes like a half dozen genres into every song. open.spotify.com/track/5HuZ3q...
Movie you've watched more than six times using GIFs (hard mode: no Star Wars, Star Trek, or LOTR)
I've never heard of Strawberry Macaw - maybe it was a fever dream! 🤣 ... at least please tell me you were using dial-up internet. I can literally feel myself getting older here.
Did my isokinetic cardio/lung function workout this morning (sang in the car at full volume on the way to work)
Not to continually flex about my age, but by the time we got internet in my house, I was using it to research universities to apply to.
My standing desk is only slightly below my computer in the hierarchy of equipment in my office. Coworkers are legitimately concerned when they see me sitting down.
Oh maybe you have the same model! A GE FoodRuiner 150? 😛
MY TOASTER WITH ENGLISH MUFFINS: let me gently kiss this food with a loving warmth, blessing it with a lovely golden glow and a delicate, intoxicating crunch. MY TOASTER WITH BREAD: enjoy your charcoal briquettes, bitch.
*SHIRT wow, autocorrect truly is the enemy of pedantry.
"hahaha I'm still young" I say as I collab with a coworker who was born after I finished university.
I guess it's going to be a "bring an extra short to work" kind of summer.
Nope. Not even for free. Nice try, Roku channel. 😛
There are plenty of conflicting theories about why dogs do that kicking thing after they complete their business. My theory is that they're doing the dog equivalent of this:
Happy Juneteenth! 🖤
Chocolate chip cookies. So, butter, sugar, vanilla, AND semi-sweet chocolate. If course the batter is delicious! (They were pretty good after baking too 😉)
I'm so silly. Every time I bake cookies I sample the batter and am pleasantly surprised when it turns out delicious. As if a blob of mostly butter and sugar would be anything but.
Haha also to be fair, TMBTE is a tremendously tough act to follow.
Brave take! I enjoy Gethsemane (and its DYWTYLM vibes) and perfectly epic finisher Infinite Baths too much to agree though 😉
Keyboard warriors are pathetic. If it weren't for ICE/DHS douchebags and Trump's entire cabinet, they'd be running unopposed for biggest cowards on the plant.
Only F1 could have the money to film a two-and-half-hour commercial starting Brad Pitt, and show it in theatres.
🤣
Every morning when I get ready for work, I'll inevitably tell myself "I don't have time to do the thing" right before I fully commit to doing the thing.
Me every single time a meeting is canceled (which just happened) youtu.be/tr3HwA9B0o4?...
My weird and tumultuous relationship with facial hair: - I hate beards. - I'm never growing a beard. - Well this isn't ideal but at least I don't have to shave every day. - I'm so jealous of dudes with nice, full beards. - Am I attracted to dudes with nice, full beards?
I can't decide which Pride post I like more: the one from Sesame Street (a), or the one from homophobes (b).
Apologies to any fellow commuters who were alarmed by seeing me bouncing in the driver's seat. open.spotify.com/track/3TV6XE...
open.spotify.com/album/5kxuok...
Not for nothing, but Archie has already activated weekend mode.
Every Monday on Chaotic Dog Walking Theatre, we present: GARBAGE DAY (The Chorus of a Thousand "Get Away From That"s)
I'm definitely not in the shape I was even a couple years ago which is a FAR cry from the shape I was in a decade ago. But I'm not going to get anywhere if I bail on my run just because I can't get close to those splits I used to hit. Just slow way tf down and get those kms done.
A childish man thinks "hee hee... hard-on..."
Protip: always wear a hydration vest/backpack, and you'll always look like you're training super hard 👍
Me: new shoes! I'm gonna get out for way more runs and really crank out the kms. Mother Nature:
The things we do for our furry monsters, eh? 😉
Today on Chaotic Dog Walking Theatre, we present "Two Dogs Sprinting in Different Directions is What Happened to My Rotator Cuff, Doctor"
Unsolicited advice is exhausting at the best of times ("you should listen to this podcast!" "You should cook your pasta this way!"). But receiving it in terms of how to *exist*? You, my dear, are a saint for not already having multiple homicides under your belt.
A thousand apologies! But I'm still glad you're here so let me those hands 🙌
Haha okay! But then we gotta do "Are You Really Okay?" next PLEASE DON'T HURT YOURSELF AGAAIIINNN
THAT'S IT THAT'S THE LINE
Oh freals 💔 but that just makes it all the more cathartic to sing along to at the top of your lungs in the car.
"Is your dog aggressive?" "Does passive-aggressive count?"
Oh so beautiful! Caramel is the one song I've already sold my soul to, though.
Someone says to me “you decide”
#saucony . I don't remember what this colourway is called, but I'd like to petition to make it "Creamsicle Camo".
That statement is never incorrect. Let us know what flavour(s) you choose 😁
I forgot how much fun it is to buy things online from something other than Amazon. "Sign in to see your order status" "No status" "No status" "No status" "No status" "It's on your back doorstep"
Welcome back to Chaotic Dog Walking Theatre. Today's feature is "Hogtied: While One Dog Poops, The Other Runs Circles Around Us".
So far it's like I'm looking in a mirror... 🤪
And then we'd silently headbang together to the breakdown 😜
Greetings fellow animal in a human suit. I am a Golden retriever, happy that I'm being included but not sure why.
Hey if your friend is a Sleep Token fan, tell them I said "HUH - WHOOP"
Oooh so instead of having my #Garmin say "Your training sucks, you out-of-shape sack of crap" I can pay extra to have it say "Our AI tools tell us your training sucks, you out-of-shape sack of crap. And here's why" www.techradar.com/health-fitne...
So... hooray for a new pope, I guess?
Welcome to Chaotic Dog Walking Theatre. Our first performance is "I Lost Track of That Poop I Was Just About to Pick Up", followed by "Oh, There It Is, With a Fresh Footprint In It"
UPDATE: I had a grand total of three meetings canceled this week. I may never come down from this high.
I would actually consider giving Garmin Connect's paid tier a shot if one of the features is that the app stops negging you about your runs.
I don't even care that "postponed" means that the meeting is still happening eventually. It's not happening now, and the dopamine hit from that is real.
I've heard a lot of people really get into their own heads about missed opportunities, especially when diagnosed as adults (like me!). It's easy to get down about that, but I've been doing my best to focus on the positives.... Like added focus lol
Congrats! Those first few days can be a revelation. Make them count 😀
A can confirm that a Kindle has so far fixed two of my problems and counting: 1: needing to get back into reading 2: doomscrolling Reddit in the middle of the night when I can't sleep
How's your #ADHD treating you these days? Mine's been giving me imposter syndrome about all sorts of things, like existing
Always striving for inbox zero, but with the dishes.
8:30: I'm going to fill the candy dish at my desk with enough chocolate to last me a few work days. 8:58: oh no
"just get one of those pill caddies so you remember your meds." I don't think you understand the power of object impermanence. When the brain is spicy, the *entire pill caddy* - perhaps the concept of pill caddies in general - ceases to exist.
Has anyone else wrecked their Spotify algorithm this week thanks to artists they saw on the Grammys? Mine, for instance, is still reconciling this influx of #doechii
Wow. I just put gas in my car instead of putting it off until tomorrow on my way to work (which I definitely wouldn't make time for and would definitely make me late). It's like I don't even know who I am anymore.
