Bangers: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:gnl3ayhesqoqehujcj5rrwny/feed/aaalad3r47p3s Blorts: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:apgpr2xxvgrnxorundd6pbzg/feed/aaagddjkhvfbs
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aware my followers might not know about uk flag politics. basically if a guy flies the union flag (๐ฌ๐ง) he has really strong views on anthony eden's handling of the suez crisis. if a guy flies the england flag (๐ด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ฅ๓ ฎ๓ ง๓ ฟ) he's saying that he's thrown a can of foster's at somebody's head at 11:30 am*
I'm not explaining this to the bee genetic modification ethics committee...
They're like "oh you want ethno- nationalism do you!? Pfft amateurs!"
They've put so much money into it. I can't wait till they lose it all. ๐โโ๏ธ
Obscene!!!
The other day I realised this flag thing could be replaced with willies. Sometimes fine in appropriate situations, but not being waved in your face when you're doing other things. But now I can't stop substituting with this analogy. Which is making the news very bizarre.
I always tell my employer if they want to replace me with ai they have to do it themselves. Or replace themselves with ai to do that for them. I don't make the rules ๐คทโโ๏ธ
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Facebook marketplace shelving
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๐ฅน๐ค
Here are some more betterer skeetsmiths....shitposters if you will.
May or may not be the same satan...
I did once but he stole my joke so I had to block him
Think about where they're going to ditch the cremated remains of the martyrs... That's the beach they'll be sitting on.
Please take it and dispose of it...
I don't know where you're based but I hope there's one of these near you. www.pawsinwork.com/gallery
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*gasp!!* But they're tres chic!
That's called puppy therapy and it's real and exists
Look... I'm not dissing it... I'm complicit.
Accent lighting is fairy lights for grown ups
Is it hot water bottle time already?
All a scam
The future is bullshit
Why does ai never say "affirmative"? So unrealistic!
You're back!! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! ๐ค
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Because you have lodgers but they're not paying so it shows you're bad with money...?
"Go to sleep" - Confucius
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Yes. ๐ค
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Imagine pretending you died in a fire just so you could concentrate on your tiny puppet village
This just makes me really sad cause I know people like that and they'll shun all social contact cause they're working on their "masterpiece" which turns out to be a face on a door or some sh*t.
Oh they spent 2 years renovating it after buying it cheap. They've got estate agents booked this week but the ex says she wants her sister to buy the other half but she has to sell her house in Bulgaria. The dog will stay with her as well but they'll co-parent the dog apparently
Which tells you how exciting this hotel is.
Embrace your warm autumn girl era.
Are you cosy though?
Amazing!! ๐
Drill baby drill sounds sexy, but itโs actually very dangerous to allow toddlers to run oil rigs.
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Hmm yeh. Ugh capitalism will get us all anyway eventually.
๐ yeh she sounds great...Don't know why they broke up!!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH?
She sounds like none of my business!! ๐
I may have been glad he had to rush off to get back to her dog ๐ซฅ Thank you for letting me vent
When putting the cottage cheese away I don't smooth the top with the back of the spoon, I scrape the surface smooth and eat the topographical anomalies like a cottage cheese god.
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Evidenced by the fact that HE'S STILL LIVING WITH HER!!!! AFTER 18 MONTHS OF BEING BROKEN UP APPARENTLY.
If it could be monetised then big tech would have released it by now
Ok, well we'll get you a buffet dress and you'll be able to fit a LOT more than one rotisserie chicken under it. Now you know our secrets.
I just don't think he's ready to be dating again ๐ฌ
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Let me joke about my trauma!!!!!!!!!!! ๐ญ
Has everyone quite finished shitting on the trauma of my crappy date today where the guy talked about his ex the whole time?!
Have you heard of the buffet dress?
Oh sorry I phrased it unclearly. Ha ha
They're trying to take ramen away from me ๐ญ
๐ญ apparently it's all in my imagination but they're going to double check with a camera down my gullet this week anyway just in case.
When they were driving. Are you reading too quickly today?
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The bin has reappeared!!!!
This is horrible. I had a friend who would text me while driving and didn't understand why I got cross about it.
I got out eventually with the magic of phone torch. I thought I was stuck for a while though!!
Dear Diary, Do I have norovirus?
I wait until someone says something needing a reply, then rip my shirt off and go, โYO!โ
Wow, Liam Neeson is cold
"Just be by yourself. Everyone else is taken." - Liam Neeson.
Oscar Wilde told me to just be BY myself?
You tried to actually flex it... Right?
Umm... Can someone come into the bathrooms and wave their arms to switch the lights back on...? Apparently I've been on the toilet for too long ๐ญ
"yeaaaahhh, of course we're friends!" - Confucius just last week!!
"let him eat some cake" - Pablo Picasso on the moon
โBait used to be believableโ - Joshua Allen, 1793 at the signing of the Magna Carta
Exactly. And fact checking a joke is a new low for humans ๐
Did you go to a clinic for your humour bypass, reply guy?
"Just be by yourself. Everyone else is taken." - Confucius
๐ I missed it!!! Next time!!!
Someone just got on the train and asked me "am I going the right way?!" ... which is too philosophical for a Sunday afternoon.
Maybe a bit more crazy.
Neon lights in the shape of ivy?
That's what I'm thinking ... I want fun modern but I still want to respect the entirely made up history of the area ya know?
Neo Modern Cottage Core...is that a thing?
That is the face the duty manager made when I told him
No!!!! ๐ฉ
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Oh sorry. Ach I'm so insensitive ๐คฆโโ๏ธ
No... You've got to dye your hair at 10:30pm ๐ฌ
You never know
What the heck?! FFS (on your behalf)!!
๐ญ I'm just so cold and why is the air con on when it's raining?! Why serve everything with So Much Ice?! Make it end ๐ฉ
I'll be there... As soon as I can move.... ๐ฌ
Oof!!!!
Here... Just contemplating moving my limbs ๐ฉ
When and what is labor day and do I have to cancel on a date?
