Writer and noisemaker. He/him. AKA Dog Swamp Residents Association https://dogswampresidentsassociation.bandcamp.com/ https://hanthonyhildebrand.bandcamp.com/ Additionally: https://twitter.com/hahildebrand And: http://instagram.com/hah_noise/ Effable.
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Who's the Real Villain in Frankenstein? Who is the Funniest Character in Tess of the D'urbervilles? How much could Ahab benchpress? Could Ford Maddox Ford have reached more people with a podcast? Why does Mr Darcy emit so much aura? Could Julia from 1984 be considered Brat? Could Don Quixote eat San
“Bake me a cake as fast as you can” is an unhinged demand.
Whatever takes your fancy
Ah. Balls.
It's on NowTv. Is it not on Sky?
Amazing work by him
One of the things that confounds me about the UK is that no one seems to think that calling aristocrats by their made up titles is insane. The Earl of Essex? Piss off, Paul. Why not ignore this ludicrous anti-democratic bollocks and call these cunts by their real names?
robot hams
robot hams
Someone blocked me after seeing this, which is fair enough
Gir- was the original title of Girl, Interrupted
Cottage
Q. Who won some wood A. Steve Winwood
Bob Dylan's real name is Bobert Dylermann
No I am just old
youtube.com/watch?v=TZrV...
You come into my pub on the day my treadmill is to be married and you ask me to do murder
Suddenly it was months later
This was inspired by the movie 'Babylon' [2022], which is of course a self-congratulatory wankfest of epic proportions, but it applies to a great many other entries in this repugnant genre
You're in Alien, shave your head
Our reaction also
All films about 'the magic of cinema' can go fuck themselves
The 6 types of sex
Symmetry should be spelled symmetryrtemmys
You know what's overrated? Woodfired pizza. If I really wanted something that is horribly burnt in some places and a disgusting sloppy mess in others, I would go to any public space in England on a day warmer than 25 degrees.
I'm just relieved they invented those boxes to keep mimes contained
Gen Z is giving up on shoes and walking on their hands instead
Millennials hate vaping AND smoking. Now recreational suppositories are making a comeback
Gen Z is giving up on shoes and walking on their hands instead
I don't know much about biomechanics Roy, i wish I did.
The internet has reverted to being Ask Jeeves
Ozzy Osborne was still alive?!?!!?
Having said all that, I love audio for narrative non-fiction and essays which aim to convince me of an argument or point of view.
And I’m not sure these effects are replicable in audio form. Not entirely, anyway. Audio has a whole bunch of other specialist advantages that text can’t provide, but I think my brain is wired to take more from writing as it appears on the page than when it’s read to me.
Listening to an audiobook is reading, absolutely. But for me it’s a very different experience than reading text. The words on a page, the line breaks, the length of paragraphs, the way words sit next to each other – these all have a powerful impact on the way I process writing.
All my work... wasted...
I have dedicated years of my life to developing a toaster that you can safely take into the bathtub and I resent any implication that this has not been time well spent
Love Pujara on commentary
It has been seasonally warm
"Nobody puts baby in a Corner" - Muller spokesperson
This absolute ripsnorter of a tune is 10 years old this year. www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMDh...
Q. How does an apothecary pleasure his wife A. Elixir
“I just saw a boat full of scouts go haring past” “How many knots were they doing?” “All of them”.
When the word 'kayak' floats past, it's hard to tell if it's coming or going
Babe, come over, we’re sucking the screams directly from each other’s mouths like Lady and the Tramp sharing spaghetti
DID YOU KNOW? 'Doggo' is just a word for a dog who is owned by a dickhead
Halloween concept: Bonnie Wraith
Just saw a tumbleweed blow down our street
Brioche is a terrible bun for a burger
I hope every single person in Britain enjoys going to Glastonbury this weekend, it sure will be quiet when every single person in Britain is at the Glastonbury festival
Reaper is pretty straight even for a dummy like me
OMG! TOO CUTE??? ❤️ Scientists taught rats to drive tiny cars and found that even when they didn't give them treats, they would still intentionally get into car crashes for the purpose of sexual gratification
Paradise Logic by Sophie Kemp The Day Aunt Gina Came to Town by John Schoneboom Present Tense Machine by Gunnhild Øyehaug
Montana, 1920
Have you tried the latest viral trend: IRL Shopping? Instead of browsing on your phone, you walk to your local Tesco and see what they have on the shelves. You never know what you might find!!1!!
To be honest I'm surprised they entered her at all, she never struck me as being that fast
Hold on though. My complaint was about the Space so where he says "deadlier". Does kipling do that too?
I had no idea. Complaint withdrawn, redirected towards Kipling
The female of the species is more deadlier than the male
Why are we all obsessed with fatal Australian mushroom meal?!?
They are currently determined to ruin Pulp for everyone
Oh, you think you're enjoying something, huh? Wait until every single fucker at the Guardian writes about it, see how you feel then
Gashapon (or Gachapon) are vending machines found all over Japan that dispense capsules containing miniature toys and other items. There are thousands of different kinds. Here’s a thread of the best ones I saw on my recent trip. 🧵
My first thought on arriving in the country was likely similar to that of many others: Heathrow airport is surprisingly shit
There are ads on during the cricket for All Clear travel insurance which have all the creative depth and thoughtful writing of the ones you see made by candidates on The Apprentice
I believe so
I can only assume so.
Today marks 24 years since I first arrived in the UK. I think we can all agree that things have only improved since I have been living here. You're welcome.
Instead of horse sales they should have called it choosical mares
Surely not everyone was Wang Chunging tonight
The Enid Blyton classic
The Enid Blyton classic
Here's how to avoid falling in love with your seagull.
This is a great book, I think you'll dig it. I've actually just bought All Quiet On The Orient Express and have that to read next.
It's not offensive to call Boris Johnson a crow, BBC watchdog rules
Channel 4 news presenter apologises for 'what a crow' remark at Northern Ireland minister Steve Baker
South Ribble Borough Council leader says he was once called 'a crow' while shopping with his young daughter, as councillors are told their own words risk fuelling public fury towards politicians
Ryan Reynolds ‘enjoyed’ being called a ‘crow’ at first Wrexham football match he attended
The post office told me I did not put sufficient postage on my parcel. Which I resent.
Bakery porn? Bunkum.
For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.
For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.
For sale: baby shoes. Never worn.
I strongly regret your plan to kick me in the nuts
(Far and Away is not a real fave though)
Spinal Tap is far and away my favourite film. I'm excited and terrified in equal measure about the sequel.
Considering removing a letter from the word donut? Don't.
If they'd been honest about Kentish Town they would have called it Essexish Town
Tipperary man calls judge a 'Fenian birdman' and a 'stupid crow' Defendant remanded in continuing custody at Nenagh Court
Cher: 'Sarah Palin is a dumb crow' 'Goddess of Pop', Cher took to Twitter on Friday to vent her feelings about former Alaska governor, Sarah Palin, calling her the 'Dumb C Word'
RIP George Wendt www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3T1...
But surely that's impossible
I'm beginning to think people aren't just sayin'
This is undoubtedly an unoriginal observation, but we are living through a Futurist age. More than a century after Marinetti and his pals declared their love of the machine and their hatred for soft, weak nostalgia, their influence is everywhere, across all of modern life. (Thread incoming)
And thanks to current levels of scarcity and my own inability to exist outside of capitalist reality (for now) I must retire for the evening. Thanks for the invigorating chat.
Ha, exactly. There's that whole Mark Fisher aspect too of being unable to imagine beyond capitalism, as if it is somehow natural rather than imposed
Imagine a better world! (within these strict self-imposed limitations)
This machine enables fascists