ruin a movie by making it about Gary Garried to the Mob
Playing like a champion. Just my stuff: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:4biy4v5nhe6h2wh25oveas64/feed/aaanqkdaizoek
56,616 followers 9,505 following 17,342 posts
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ruin a movie by making it about Gary Garried to the Mob
New plan: we get Obama to demand the death certificate
Brilliant
Goodnight moon, you sick sonofabitch
We ask for so, so little
🎶 and you can tell everybody, this is your song...🎶 Guess what, bitch?!? I ALREADY DID! AND THERE WAS NOTHING YOU COULD DO ABOUT IT! I NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!
As the lord intended 🙏
Ruin a movie by making it about Gary Top Gary
No one wants proof of life, btw
Ruin a movie by making it about Gary Gone with the Gary
WANTED: Bad influence. Please bring a list of all peers you have pressured.
Seriously
Bluesky Needs To Welcome More Diverse Viewpoints To Grow, For Example, Thinly-Veiled Nazis Like Me
stop asking chatGPT just ask me
To get to the bottom of the cover up over the president's bad health, Jake Tapper is working on another book about Biden's health.
As I make the jump to hyperspace, I realize I left the baby on top of the ship.
Nice
The legs of white men
RIP Julius Caesar, you would have loved Olive Gardens endless breadsticks.
Giuliani Injured As Karma Decides To Get Off Its Lazy Ass.
Look, if this is an absolute must, just walk around carrying a tennis racket or something
Stay in
Unless actively playing a sport, I do not think white guys should be permitted to wear shorts in public
This is just one bonus feature
Preferably
The glasses stay on. Everyone knows this.
Jimmy Connors Eat World
I can
Go get em tiger! You can do this!
Blocking me causes a rift in the space-time continuum.
No, it's definitely me
GOD DAMMIT
I reveal nothing
Sushi Sex 🤝 hitting it raw
whoa
If someone only likes but does not repost your post then the "fine, but not your best work" is implied.
It is bittersweet, but I am also announcing that I will not be featured on SNL this season. I am sure I will miss the camaraderie and the amazingly creative people, but not the late night hours. Good luck to the cast for year 51!
I have a better offer. Free. It will be my pleasure.
Even during Ramadan???
Fine!
LIES!
That face!
So many candidates these days…
Nice
I just always assume people are having a bad day, and act accordingly to not make it worse.
Forever in blue jeans, Neil Diamond? FOREVER in blue jeans?!?
go for it! *DISCLAIMER: May not legally work
I Read A Conspiracy Theory On Reddit About What You Did Last Summer
had to delete- please do not snitch-tag, thanks
every single liberal news outlet and respected university over the past year:
I hope this email finds you trapped in a prison of your own making.
Everyone Knows What You Did Last Summer. You Posted 1000 Instagram Stories.
I have sent you a very strongly worded letter about what you did last summer
Blocking me causes a rift in the space-time continuum.
I Have An Entirely Untested Hypothesis About What You Did Last Summer
What You Did Last Summer Is Protected Under HIPAA Regulations & A Violation Could Earn You Up To A $250,000 Fine & 10 Years In Prison
We Have Been Trying To Reach You About What You Did Last Summer And Your Car's Extended Warranty
thank you sir
Today's assignment: Comment "ok, psycho" under every Facebook post.
I Have Been Busy With A Lot Of Personal Matters And Have Not Had A Lot Of Time To Even Care About What You Did Last Summer
It's the only move
{pumpkin isn’t even a spice you’re tasting cinnamon and nutmeg}
Well done
Just found out that the abbreviation "LFG" means "Laurence Fishburne's Glutes"
Pay your taxes through the power of prayer.
not every post had to be about him
huge misfire
I Have Strong Suspicions But No Concrete Evidence About What You Did Last Summer
*Casually mentions karate 7 times in my wedding vows*
THEM: I disagree with you. ME: What an asshole. ****** THEM: I agree with you. ME: What an asshole.
Too late!
The media decided "let's see where this goes" in 2016 and never looked back
I Have A Very Strong Hunch About What You Did Last Summer
Protect the Tower Theater outside of Philly. Tiny venue, announced that AM. He took the stage two hours after the announced start time. Played for four hours.
According to recent court filings, Sandwich Guy will be charged with a crime. Instead of assault with a deadly weapon, he will be charged with using a weapon with a deadly amount of salt.
For post about herpes, this took an odd turn
Insurrection reward program
agree, no peace for any of them
RFK JR names herpes as new interim CDC director
Remember 2015 when we were all 25 years younger
Buying a taser so I can feel something
I doubled my output to cover you, please kick back, relax, and enjoy the a Fresca
Keep your filthy agenda off of my beautiful posts
When a performer holds out their microphone for the audience to sing the chorus to one of their hits, I think everyone singing should get reimbursed for a portion of the concert ticket price.
1775 called. They want their tyranny back.
genius
Fans of own goals have to love the economy this administration is creating.
so many eyes...
This was incredibly kind and you made my day I really appreciate it
Why are other people still posting? It's pretty clear I've got this covered.
The key to working with AI is to keep in mind that it is wrong 100% of the time.
Try and read/hear everything RFK JR says in Ralph Wiggum's voice. It's a real eye opener.
I wish
"Challenge accepted!" - RFK JR talking to the Grim Reaper
I noticed you weren't wearing all black. Is everything OK?
Baseball Fun Fact: 12% of all conferences on the pitcher's mound are about flaws in the logic of "The Usual Suspects".
"Your secret's safe with me," I say as I post it to the group chat you're not in.
A gentleman always uses coupons on a first date.
Wild caught