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Joey Guanciale

@joebreslin.bsky.social

a cracked polystyrene man DF #138. Jake Certified Good Dude™ philly sports when's the last time you met a funky diabetic?

created July 8, 2023

493 followers 400 following 4,944 posts

view profile on Bluesky

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Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

Perfect thank you!

2/9/2025, 11:58:38 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

Definitely my first thought, rolled tighter too.

2/9/2025, 11:53:42 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

First try at chicken and dumplings. The dumplings could use more consistency (size and rolling) but Katherine drank from the bowl so I'll have a chance to dial that in. 🍽️🍜

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2/9/2025, 11:43:38 PM | 33 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

but that's not a new radiohead song, it's thom yorke singing backing vocals on drugstore!

2/9/2025, 11:20:20 PM | 4 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I've believed all along

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2/9/2025, 4:00:19 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

I don't understand how Peter King's middle name being Boatswain isn't discussed more

2/9/2025, 2:50:10 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

Using one photo already on your phone, what is the announcement tomorrow at 2?

2/9/2025, 4:14:32 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

boooo

2/9/2025, 3:45:03 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

Cajun shrimp riganthony 🍽️🍜

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1/9/2025, 10:58:50 PM | 52 5 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

is doing dollar dog night when the phillies are in town trolling them like doing pride night when the rangers are in town?

1/9/2025, 9:28:32 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

1/9/2025, 8:17:15 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

17-0 right now, Mahommes has them right where he wants them

1/9/2025, 7:08:43 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

I love Philadelphia.

1/9/2025, 4:16:37 PM | 27 2 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

Poor TC.

1/9/2025, 2:04:01 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

was the first time I ate mushrooms

1/9/2025, 1:49:26 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

it's my birthday quadrimester!

1/9/2025, 1:46:41 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

the best way I can explain this in DFW terms is it's the four seasons total landscaping in Mesquite (but it's in the city) #nodisrespect

1/9/2025, 5:08:49 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

anything bad in Rudy Giuliani's life was earned when he closed Twilo.

1/9/2025, 2:13:49 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

This is the pasta

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31/8/2025, 11:44:03 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

Farfaline arcobaleno burro e zafferano (rainbow bowties with butter and saffron) Halibut with charred corn and tomato salad 🍽️🍜

A blue bowl of rainbow farfaline in a sauce of butter, saffron and parmigiano reggiano. Topped with parmigiano reggiano and garlic breadcrumbs image
31/8/2025, 11:40:13 PM | 31 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

HEB in shambles

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31/8/2025, 9:18:17 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

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31/8/2025, 7:07:14 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

31/8/2025, 6:54:54 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

it's definitely a look they'd throw in there to keep people on their toes even more

31/8/2025, 5:23:58 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

right now it's all directed towards the 'ew sportsball' people

31/8/2025, 3:21:07 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

facebook's great because it's the only place where I can keep up with the ex girlfriend of a girl I bought weed from a few times when we worked together at whole foods.

31/8/2025, 2:27:55 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

31/8/2025, 2:19:59 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I hope she's still playing!

31/8/2025, 5:49:20 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

the big question is how many utter jabronis do you have to listen to for one guy like this?

31/8/2025, 5:00:27 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

just can't put too much value on week 1 because Lane Johnson always made him disappear anyway

31/8/2025, 4:03:23 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

Barry the Card Retriever, Lawyer Dog
31/8/2025, 2:40:43 AM | 20 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

you can't blame them, it's not Shut the Fuck Up Friday

31/8/2025, 1:07:38 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I wish your college team was making you have a happier football

30/8/2025, 11:03:39 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I bet you could find one in a vintage shop Mellie, and I hear 90s fashion is back in

30/8/2025, 10:59:21 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture one dozen rats at a keyboard (@panasonicdx4500.bsky.social) reposted

Texas and Alabama both getting national embarrassed on opening weekend; Gavin Newsom’s America

30/8/2025, 10:11:32 PM | 65 7 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

will you give Jake one of these for me?

30/8/2025, 10:30:58 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

30/8/2025, 10:28:15 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

PRE.

30/8/2025, 10:19:55 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

"It looks like a very nice painting" -Katherine

30/8/2025, 6:13:58 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

as long as Big Dom walks this earth, there's one "I know a guy" Guy

30/8/2025, 6:08:11 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

and then stepped in dog shit

30/8/2025, 2:56:20 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

Sigur Ros as the wedding band on Game of Thrones Milli Vanilli on Sister Kate

30/8/2025, 2:53:59 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

30/8/2025, 1:17:42 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

30/8/2025, 4:14:31 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

mmm fiddlehead

30/8/2025, 3:49:07 AM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

30/8/2025, 3:32:37 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

30/8/2025, 2:43:44 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

we're still almost 3 years from the primaries starting, isn't this the time we're supposed to call people out for their shitty policies?

30/8/2025, 2:06:27 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

ooh I have my eye on mother sauce!

30/8/2025, 12:03:33 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

he got overthrown in the arab spring

29/8/2025, 10:40:22 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

this explains why I haven't been able to schedule one on the cvs website, that's pretty fucked up

29/8/2025, 9:31:52 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

headhunting is a coward

29/8/2025, 9:20:22 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

do it in the butt!

29/8/2025, 9:17:08 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

do you know if the main crude distillation units are important @bigpoppa-brian.bsky.social?

29/8/2025, 9:12:17 PM | 6 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

he's pretty good at baseball in case you didn't know

29/8/2025, 3:09:20 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

there's so much that goes into it. all this bullshit is worth it if it leads to that.

29/8/2025, 3:24:24 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

you would be happy

29/8/2025, 3:22:49 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

4 home runs holy shit

29/8/2025, 1:07:09 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

front row for radiohead 4 times at MSG and second row at roseland ballroom (3500 people)

29/8/2025, 12:52:03 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

a lot of shitty baseball?

29/8/2025, 12:46:42 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Guynemer (@guynemer.bsky.social) reposted reply parent

he deserves it for this alone

29/8/2025, 12:14:08 AM | 13 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Razzball (@razzball.bsky.social) reposted

I know what the WAR says but my eyes say Kyle Schwarber is a Hall of Famer

29/8/2025, 12:10:54 AM | 115 8 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

Kyle schwarber I love you!

29/8/2025, 12:24:15 AM | 6 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

Damnit. This is in our circular this week

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29/8/2025, 12:21:00 AM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I don't even know what it's from, I just searched 'eagle hug' instead of my usual 'dog hug' 😂

29/8/2025, 12:02:41 AM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

28/8/2025, 11:34:32 PM | 6 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

giants are going to have a better defense than the cowboys

28/8/2025, 9:50:10 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

so 1990 is the year I battered Howard Eskin with elbows to the chest and face to beat him in the Tim Kerr 2 mile fun run

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28/8/2025, 8:58:05 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

when I was working in the beer/wine dept at wholefoods there was an ACLU lawyer who'd come in and argue with everyone. even if she agreed with you. example: Her: The med insurance industry is cruel. Me: I know, I almost died because X happened. Her: No, you don't UNDERSTAND.

28/8/2025, 8:39:58 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

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28/8/2025, 8:09:17 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

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28/8/2025, 8:01:53 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

Lunch picnic date at Chanticleer garden. Super Italian from tredici Italian market in Wayne 🍽️🍜 #goodlunch

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28/8/2025, 7:28:06 PM | 56 5 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

28/8/2025, 3:30:37 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

LOL I tried the first one and literally couldn't get out of the courtyard in the first scene

28/8/2025, 3:28:20 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

World History from November 11, 1444 - January 3, 1821.

28/8/2025, 3:18:30 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

yeah but could you survive overnight in the pine barrens with just a packet of ketchup?

28/8/2025, 3:04:23 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

the way the entire stadium was doing the skol chant as 'FOLES!'

28/8/2025, 2:38:45 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

if today is your friday then won't sunday be your third saturday?

28/8/2025, 1:55:45 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

do what you like. if you go to a starbuck, tip those guys more than you would somewhere else. how about that?

28/8/2025, 1:48:01 PM | 3 1 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I call it braised meat and eagles season and the thought of it has kept me going since february

28/8/2025, 4:11:22 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

good stuff, Corby. I look at it like right now if there's one thing making someone happy to face tomorrow in spite of bleak times, it's a good thing.

28/8/2025, 4:01:44 AM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

it's not about being sensitive, it's about having the self control to not jump in on randos and shit on one of the little joys they still have

28/8/2025, 3:06:56 AM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

did you just invent zip codes?

27/8/2025, 11:49:49 PM | 7 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

it's refreshing to hear this. GO BIRDS!

27/8/2025, 11:08:02 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

you'd think that about me too but some guys are guys.... weird and hornt

27/8/2025, 8:21:00 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

it happened to me where dude didn't want to take no thank you for an answer. weird scene.

27/8/2025, 8:15:52 PM | 4 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

Dallas has two things going for it- the income tax and 3 extra months where ladies can show some toes in their footwear

27/8/2025, 3:47:05 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I guess we'll have to wait until he's an eagle to find out for sure

27/8/2025, 3:40:07 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

it's held up in the senate, and don't you think I have been, Jules?

27/8/2025, 3:01:13 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

too bad people aren't going to be able to get around to enjoy it without SEPTA

27/8/2025, 2:45:04 PM | 2 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

Henry was the glue

27/8/2025, 1:53:40 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

27/8/2025, 1:52:21 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

holy shit I didn't realize you were so tall!

26/8/2025, 11:04:07 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

congratulations to Taylor Swift for locking down the second best Kelce

26/8/2025, 5:10:32 PM | 5 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

big fight on the hill this morning, giant pickup truck coming down and driving on the wrong side of the road in standoff w/older woman w/ short spiky gray hair going up hill Truck guy: Fuck you! Fuck You! Lady: I HOPE YOU DIE TODAY! The gray haired lady lost and backed up even though she was right

26/8/2025, 4:06:56 PM | 3 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

I assume the person is an engagement farmer and they're getting what they want

26/8/2025, 3:18:20 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

Usually they close to move to a bigger location. This was just a random band aid that took pressure off the one in town until they made the parking lot bigger.

26/8/2025, 2:57:55 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social)

at least there was one justice done in the world this week

26/8/2025, 2:56:38 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

here around Philly that's "Used to be a wawa" for example, the dispensary that opened at the end of the causeway to my hometown used to be a wawa.

26/8/2025, 2:34:54 PM | 1 0 | View on Bluesky | view

Profile picture Joey Guanciale (@joebreslin.bsky.social) reply parent

*to us

26/8/2025, 12:00:33 PM | 0 0 | View on Bluesky | view