AnimorphsCoverGoingFromSweeneyToBuscemiWithBeckInTheMiddle.png
AnimorphsCoverGoingFromSweeneyToBuscemiWithBeckInTheMiddle.png
The heads of Companies Who Need This To Work are all endorsing a plan championed by our nations dumbest and most corrupt family to encourage children to use Broken Clocks, noting that they are actually correct multiple times each day.
Is a sentient skeleton a ghost? Does it matter if the skeleton still has the same personality of the person it was when alive?
Finally, a documentary that you can watch once a week for over a year and never have the same experience twice.
We don’t know what art survives for the next hundred years, we just know for sure that butt rock will be included in it
So sick of these centrist impurity tests. Not everyone can meet your standards of being a huge piece of shit, sometimes you have to just grit your teeth and vote for someone good even if that goes against your principles
📌
FTK
loved him in Northern Exposure too ❤️
Trump’s treatment of Appalachia’s coal miners exemplifies his approach to labor in general: Kneecap unions whenever possible, prop up industry profits at all costs, and if a few workers die in the process, pretend it never happened. inthesetimes.com/article/trum...
Taylor Townsend would likely have to become a bigger star than Prime Serena before my immediate thought after seeing her name is anything other than "from the OC!?"
Honestly, maybe the peak athletic career in terms of later quality of life.
Get his ass
My "I was in a Normal High Speed Car Accident... Also, the Woman Involved with the 911 Domestic Violence Call was Completely Unrelated to It" shirt has people asking questions already answered by my shirt
📌
Imagine getting to watch people celebrate your potential death while you’re still alive multiple times in a five year span. - we can only hope this time gives us a “going out like stan chera”
White House Downplays Trump Hand Bruise As Least Concerning Part Of Body https://theonion.com/white-house-downplays-trump-hand-bruise-as-least-concerning-part-of-body/
I’ve seen like five posts about It Happening and I can’t tell if it’s memeing or if there is news of a better tomorrow I haven’t seen
Birthed straight from the center of this Will Ferrell Venn diagram
I often talk about the fact that MAGA does not access the same news as the left wing. I present to you Exhibit A. Dr. Daskalakis’ resignation letter excoriated RFK Jr. and shared that RFK Jr. was lying to the public, manipulating data, and ordering unethical actions. This what Fox News served.
"Pat, why do you carry that ridiculous 600mm lens on long hikes?" Buddy, I can see mountains reflected in the eyes of a trailside pika.
I fucking despise Chuck Schumer
Yglesias is a dumb guy's version of a smart guy.
Easy Halloween costume 🎾
Guy who doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom doesn't get to voice his opinion on anything sorry man that's like basic level decency and respect for your fellow human beings oh wait now I see it
The One True Sport
This guy looks like a hand bag and sounds like a wet dry vac no one wants to look and sound like you shitass
Also, the idea of forgetting in less than 20 minutes that you got on a phone to ask a stranger to come unclog your toilet feels *impossible*
Cannot even fathom the levels of diaper baby brain that is required to call someone to unclog your hotel toilet (that you clogged) and then point a gun at them because you're scared.
significantly dorkier than Magic imo, at least card players don't actually think they're wizards.
what are we going to do, not pay billionaires to put the suicide machine in high schools?
"The experts thought we'd be good and we were actually dogshit so really, who is the idiot now" is an incredible post from an owner lmao
starting a new org to recruit centrist candidates called run from something
"Does My Math Homework Cry When I Erase It and Other Dipshit Thoughts from the Center of the Idiot / Nerd Venn Diagram" - my new book
being afraid of the subway is so fucking funny. you mean the choo-choo train???
“I’m terrified of going to NYC” bruh you mean where Elmo and big bird live?
Reopen the schools
[Intensely Benoit Blanc voice] Geurin Houston, of the Houston Houstons
u need to be seasonal fruit maxxing
John Brown was out there on Jedi mode
Evidence of rationale can be found, just off the top of my head, in his previous statements as well as the previous statements and connections of the people he specifically appointed to shape and implement these policies. That's not speculation. Our knowledge is not bound by what lies they tell us.
The answer to his question is “no more screen time for you until you show me you can handle it”
What a burden to be old enough to know who Dean Cain is
The icon
Masked, un-uniformed, unidentified secret police ambushes. What could go wrong?
Everyone's screaming about how the left doesn't compromise and I keep saying I will vote for this guy. I am a communist who will vote for a billionaire. Centrists, tell me about even one instance when you have compromised like anything close to this. Or at all.
every talking asshole on this sight who views themself as a ~reasonable, serious person~ has been shitting up this slop for the past three days. If these bush era republicans knew how to win modern elections, they'd still be in the GOP instead of trying to make the two parties GOP heavy and diet GOP
WIFE: The new neighbors were kind enough to invite us to dinner. Please try to be normal. ME: of course. [later] ME (using a fork to put a layer of butter between two potato chips): You know, buildings are really insects — their skeletons are on the outside to protect the teeming life within
Was literally anyone on earth under the impression that penn and teller weren't friends?
Seriously. I don’t give a flying fuck. They ain’t bothering nobody, and they just trying to survive just like the rest of us.
Wildly uninterested in the political advice of people that would feel right at home in the GWB admin
they desperately want footage of soldiers shooting americans
Hell yeah brother
Been trying to keep track of a list of countries with postal services (at least temporarily) halting deliveries to the US because of de minimis going away and I’m up to: South Korea, Singapore, Norway, Finland, Czechia, Austria, Belgium
Yeah and I sai- *stops and looks into the middle distance* ...it's coming *licks finger and holds it in the air* ...I ...I didn't think it would be now. I thought there was more time. It's- it's- *kneels and presses palm to ground* it's the week each year I listen to a TON of less than jake
Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy https://theonion.com/nation-leery-of-very-odd-little-boy-1819579644/
i'll say it again, my loud and vigorous support for any democrat who calls for televised hearings and criminal charges for everyone involved in DOGE. this guy should never be able to live in peace again.
I'm in the middle of something else and can't dig in here so I will just say: This is extremely consistent with my priors.
“I’m sick of these purity tests. NO CANDIDATE is perfect. Newsom may not care about homeless people or trans people but he’s the ONLY ONE hiring social media posters to ask ChatGPT to talk like Trump”
You’re telling me this guy is not a more desirable guy to promote than Gavin Newsom
just whatever random youtube I yoinked that section from - unrelated to the other squashed media where I have just cropped and stretched and adjusted it like a billion times depending on the joke and just continue to save right over top until the png catches on fire
But, also, if NYTs reporters saw this back in July... why... didn't they report on it then?
I, for some reason, thought you could only talk to it on the timeline and didnt realize there could be DMs or whatever with it
Getting on the Slow Horses train paid massive dividends for this very reason - 1st ep was spring of 2022, season 5 starts next month
you rarely have to hand it to a PR person but
In Portland, Oregon, ICE agents apparently blocked traffic in order to take down a protest sign which read: "ICE GOON HQ HERE"
Gotta know if the waiters, who were formerly haters, serve Herr's chips when you sit down at the table of success.
Gonna be a wild couple of days if Musk doesn't get to it first
“Actually, Frank N. Wolf is the name of the Coach. You’re thinking of Coach Frank N. Wolf’s assistant. … … Actually, the players at Waynesburg are all the Yellow Jackets. Yeah, two words. You’re thinking of Yellowjackets the bee… or the show.”
fuck. them.
The fact that the thing we're calling artificial intelligence *can't do math* and yet we're jamming it into programs that successfully *have done math* for decades, then warning people against using the AI to do math, seems like an excellent summary of where we are.
how many of you dumbasses are going to keep falling for this same pitch from people whose only actual following is media members who are suckers that get tricked by the wallet inspector every time
Feel like one political party kidnapping an opponent should be bigger news
Last week, Boston received a letter from AG Bondi threatening to prosecute officials and withhold funds unless we cooperate with carrying out mass deportations. The US Attorney General asked for a response by today, so here it is: stop attacking our cities to hide your administration’s failures.
rewarding my microwave by letting it heat up a fork as a treat
a line of argument that I will never understand is "Trump is trying to provoke violence therefore the Democratic leadership and electeds are encouraging restraint." No, Trump is *doing violence*, therefore the responsibility of elected opposition is to deny him the means & authority.
JACK: *standing in front of a red yarn wall, hair sticking up* my god. that's it, Lemon. MS NOW. My Source News Opinion World.
Two Years Ago Today: I spent far too long finding and arranging these exact screencaps
This is exactly--and I mean exactly--how Holocaust deniers have long discredited the Final Solution being a concerted effort & high-level order. "The Jews in the camps all died of typhoid outbreaks"
Calling everything a distraction has been incredibly effective propaganda. Not that it's terribly convincing, but it gives everyone this veneer of cover for why nobody is doing anything. Everything is distracting from the REAL issue which we won't define or do anything about either.
not an assassin but switchblade sam is the personification of this for me - between this and how he ate baked beans in the movie, he was truly one of the more viscerally disgusting characters to me when I was a kid
Is snake oil the future? A snake oil salesman weighs in.
Congrats to the nominal opposition for being to the right of *Bill Kristol* on Trump assualting DC
Newsom has backstabbed trans people and homeless people repeatedly, but you’re fine with that because you’re not affected. People like you demand one-way coalitions. Morally and strategically bankrupt.
I plugged in the drawings that I made today into Chat GPT, and it says I'm a "very special boy" "This is arguably the best drawing of your house with both the inside the lines coloring and architectural integrity needed to get this right up on the fridge."
“Just letting you know I can’t be trusted, even in low stakes mundane ways”
gavin newsom is mitt romney's tyler durden
Biggest fucking dorks alive
ESPN on August 6: we are proud to announce that the NFL has acquired of 10% of our company ESPN on August 16: yeah we ain’t making that fuckin Kaepernick joint anymore
Need 600 dollars due to recent personal tragedy. Picture is not related, I cannot figure out how to delete it. The money is not for that. I don’t know what it is even
