Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

It's not the hater piece I promised. I'll share that one tomorrow.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

If Bob doesn't respond by eleven my time, I'll release the unedited version.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Oh, @boburell.bsky.social, r u still awake? I sent an e-mail.

Aaron Rupar (@atrupar.com) reposted

Pritzker: "Any rational person who has spent even the most minimal amount of time studying human history has to ask themselves one important question: once they get the citizens of this nation comfortable with the current atrocities committed under the color of law, what comes next?"

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

OK

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

That's how I won him over.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Ew.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

That's okay.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Did you provide excellent service today, Tyler? Profits are up, but they could be higher.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

I can't believe I'm about to say it, but what is a poop knife?

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

He finds me iNtErEsTiNg, gUyS 😌

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Yes, and I'll use it for that, but definitely not for food and bills and my move to Connecticut.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

It was a big shit, guys. Many people are saying it.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Just like Trump, fr fr

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

🙏

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Hey, I'm not the one with felonies here, Bob.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

🫡

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Not to be outdone, I'm announcing my ass's move from the toilet to my desk chair Thank you for your attention to this matter! CAB

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

From Colorado to Alabama lol Now it's clear that he's fucking with us

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Cassie, reporting live from the toilet: I shouldn't have eaten that many nectarines! Thank you for your attention to this matter! -CAB, the greatest raccoon in America Make America Garbage Again!!!

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Howdy, neighbor. Arkansas here.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Ma'am, please. We call them theories to class the joint up.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

ⓘ 𝕆ligarch f*ckery detected (@adelpreore.bsky.social) reposted

...and the presidental medal of freedom goes to... This guy?

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I wouldn't worry too much about foreign enemies, babes, not when our biggest enemy is domestic and running the show.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Department of War? More like Operation Bald Eagle Big Breasts, amirite?

Pavel🐀 (@spavel.bsky.social) reposted

"Sure we give you an intentionally unfinished, malfunctioning product, but you should not let that stop you."

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

hApPy tUeSdAy

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

And here I thought he followed for my farts. 🥺

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I will be making an announcement tomorrow at 1:59 PM* *From the toilet

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

"Is it true the president's nose and ear fell off during his morning round of golf?" "The president has never been better."

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Lol

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

White House staff dolling up the body and sorting out a way to normalize the president lying on a bed of ice until after the midterms

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Proof of life!

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Ugh.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Me too!

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I forget. Which wine pairs well with dead sack of sorry shit?

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Not Vance putting on the falsies for the big event.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Guys, stop playing with my emotions like this.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Well at least you found a submissive-ish woman.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

To know is to understand, and to understand is to know when to avoid them like the fucking plague.

Jesse Hawken (@jessehawken.bsky.social) reposted

Trump asking his staff to bring him his phone, he wants to post something

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Don't insult me, Bob.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Okay but "buttered lobster" is one hell of a name for the boss's asshole.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Lol

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

🩷

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I know an awful lot about human behavior for someone who can't stand human behavior.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

My hot take is that Trump's on medications to prevent a second or third heart attack or stroke, and the republican party is parading his soon-to-be corpse around on strings until the midterms.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

He's a thicc boi

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I was out all day with the fam. Sorry, guys, the Patreon piece will be up tomorrow for sure. And as always, thank you for caring enough to subscribe to my scribbles. 🩷🩷🩷

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Any good?

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Can't have a disease if you're dead.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Oh no, someone drew a sunflower.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

All dressed? 👀

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Laney, I'm from the south. All sodas are Cokes, and everything in the chip aisle is chips. I harassed you and Bob for weeks for those hot-honey babies, even bothered to search for them myself, so of course I remember. And you are special. 🩷🩷🩷

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Bishes be hatin'.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I got a giant jar of my favorite peaches and a bag of fresh nectarines.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I'm doing the math, guys, and if a few more of you become paying subscribers, I won't have to nag you for monies anymore. www.patreon.com/posts/lol-im...

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Those chips were the bomb 🩷🩷🩷

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I just got this, @boburell.bsky.social. Look, I'm completely honored that you or anyone else pays to read my shit. I never thought anyone would tbh. Nerd. 🩷

Tyler Rhodes (@tylerlrhodes.bsky.social) reposted

Good morning, bluesky

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

www.patreon.com/posts/lol-im...

Kevin M. Kruse (@kevinmkruse.bsky.social) reposted

Old Man Yells at Himself

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

I wrote a poem about its death, so I have my own problems.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Hey, man, a man's special sock is sacred. I get it.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

So this seems bad.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

That's more like it.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

If you can say something twice as fast and the point lands better, that's the fucking sweet spot. Leave the fireworks at home, showman.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Or turned evil? Bro, wtf is he going on about now? And ffs, will someone take the goddamned thesaurus from him? He's working overtime to seem impressive but it's not fucking working. Lol What a pompous ass.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Lmfao

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

You should meet with him. Lol

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Oh, y'all really thought I was selfish enough to pass this shit on to another person? Haha Nah.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

I'm sorry, but Trump is far more dangerous than Vance will ever be. Rip to the cult leader.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

🩷🩷🩷

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

I ain't worried about Vance.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Covid hit and my mother was dying, then she died and I needed my peeps to keep me alive. Thank you, btw.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

🤞

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I love getting private messages from men whose mothers contemplated drowning them at birth.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

This one marks twenty-nine years, actually. I just did 12X29 lol

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

aM i CoMpLeX LiKe qUaNtUm pHySiCs, bOb?

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

DM me next time, asshole.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

www.patreon.com/posts/lol-im...

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Great. And just how do you expect me to get my hands on a sacrificial goat on such short notice?

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Lmfao

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

I should tag every woman who's given birth

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I want to thank my charming personality and natural hatred for men. I couldn't have done it without you, boyz. 🙏

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Hotter than ripping from vagina to asshole

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Gonna pose in front of a "Is it a he or is it a she?" banner and shout SIIIIIIKE when the fireworks go off, then do a nosedive into the gender reveal cake

timothy faust (@tbone.malware-virus.biz) reposted

happy labor day everyone. now more than ever we got to remember what it's about.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I love how we're building community over our hatred of the same sacks of perverted shit. This is what it's all about, folks.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

348 periods and still no fetus to yeetus. Now that's something worth celebrating

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

You corrected my work, Bob. Sit down.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Lmao Nerd

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

Newsom sucks, Bob.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

I'll take anything at this point.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

I hope they both die this week.

Jorge A. Caballero, MD (@datadrivenmd.social) reposted

"NEVER FELT BETTER IN MY LIFE" said the man who hasn't allowed a White House press pool reporter within 20 yards of him for nearly a week

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social) reply parent

You give me sound reasons to love you. You're a wonderful human being, Bob. Suck it.

Cassie🌈 kween, expert opinion giver, supergenius (@kweencassie.bsky.social)

Bro, there's no male loneliness epidemic. You're sitting in a dark empty apartment, pants around your ankles, VR headset on, and "talking" to your chatbot wife instead of going to fucking therapy.

Maj (@lif3asmaj.bsky.social) reposted

I'm not usually the type to wish death on anyone, but whatever it is that's ailing him? I'm gonna need it to speed run this shit.