Maybe black holes aren’t cannibals that “eat” each other, but rather polyamorous lovers who merge with multiple partners, ever-expanding their giant love fest into a larger and larger solar mass orgy.
If you are looking for the other Lock Wilford you didn't find him. My top skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:6sn5ipsdnbalrtkjgpjkr3u7/feed/aaafm23lyrjky My art: lockwilford.com
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Maybe black holes aren’t cannibals that “eat” each other, but rather polyamorous lovers who merge with multiple partners, ever-expanding their giant love fest into a larger and larger solar mass orgy.
We all grew so exhausted. The fatigue spread across our skin like oil, absorbed through tissue into muscle, wormed deep into our bones, until our beings were suffused, dense with its saturation, weary far beyond our years.
We got a dramatic one tonight. Even Fergus is enthused
Shit I forgot, it's on the way
im glad none of you DMed me your buttholes btw
I have managed to eat a bowl of mac and cheese though so things are looking up
A coworker just called, today they've had five other call outs because sick like me
Especially this
Subway could do something awesome and offer two for one subs, one to eat, one to throw
Everything
I was just thinking his orange skin against the white snow would make satellite tracking easier, I didn't fully flush this thought out though
*scrolling my skeets* He'll definitely outlaw this
I hope he lives long enough for us to exile him to Antarctica
Let's go back to believing him dead
The fascist sweet potato has soured
If you're a parent of a national guard soldier, it's your DUTY to remind them of their oath
If he's illegally sending troops, the troops are following illegal orders, and they are not protected by qualified immunity, therefore they deserve to have sandwiches thrown at them
*bushwackin' my happy trail* there's no happiness down there
Air Fryer would be a wonderful name for a Rhodesian Ridgeback
HOUSE ACROSS THE STREET WITH THE LADY THAT NEVER COMES OUT AND NEVER ANSWERS THE DOOR HAS A TRUCK THERE REMOVING MANY GARBAGE BAGS AND THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD* IS ABUZZ. *pretty much just me, sitting here watching it all out my dining room window as I sip coffee
All these shadows of the past darkening my mood.
Y'all know his announcement is going to be about doing something illegal af
This year has flown by like a passing kidney stone.
God: *looking at the US, turns to Jesus* I don't think they'd crucify you if I sent you again. Jesus: Are you fuckin high?
It's my regular day off, but I think I am going to go in to get done what I didn't get done by leaving early yesterday
Me: Your profile said you had a piercing. Her: That’s a typo. It’s supposed to say “piercing scream.”
*leaves house in the morning* NEIGHBOR: Good morning! *goes back in house, locks doors, sets alarms, closes shades*
That first coffee went quickly
I see stupidity didn't take a holiday
Casting a shadow is underrated.
Monday-ass feeling Tuesday
I did philosophy for you, please respond
I could listen to a Frenchman say artificial insemination all day long
My cat thinks I control the rain, and she's pissed because I turned it on this morning
IT’S RIGHT FUCKING THERE FOR FUCK’S SAKE!!!🤦🏻♂️
I'm having an espresso and a bowl of sativa as we speak
I woke up without the scratchy throat and cough
Taking screenshots so you have the girl on film is a good reflex to have 🏆👑 Congratulations @lockwilford.com from @jollyrobber.bsky.social 🏴☠️
bsky has nine lives, its died so many times already
Not sure what I’m supposed to do to help bluesky grow. Should I smile more?
I just took a dose of NyQuil, a 10mg indica gummy, and smoked a bowl of indica. Sleep should arrive anytime
What if Giuliani’s accident is the start of a Final Destination scenario.
Experimental watercolor #23
I left work early, and am heading to bed now, hopefully I'll wake up feeling better this afternoon
We had four or five here at work at the end of last week that were sick with the flu so I am fairly certain that is it. I've had my vaccination and flu shot but they're never 100% effective
I woke up in the middle of the night with a scratchy cough and stuffed up nose. I took some DayQuil since I have to work this morning. I have made it here to work, but I feel like a truck has run over me a few times.
To get to the bottom of the cover up over the president's bad health, Jake Tapper is working on another book about Biden's health.
Replying to a text: Hey! I was just masturbating to you. Do you want to come over?
Most likely a pipe probe
Bluesky can’t be dead Jerry’s still posting.
i’m not gonna lie, i have a feeling im gonna be lazy and extremely online tomorrow. fair warning.
I deleted gigabytes of photos today and most of them include my ex
[Frequently overheard in my vicinity] Are you okay?
I rescued ten puppies from a burlap sack before I tripped and fell over the pier
She wants out there
I have had three martinis so far, and the brisket in the crockpot still has at least another two hours so I may make it to five before dinner
I was cleaning up my Google photos and was wondering why the fuck I took this pic and then I saw it
The attention is in the detals
is it a cum park or a cum plaza?
There's pineapple juice in the martini so one fruit serving at least
Getting up early on a Sunday morning was not a happy experience
AI is just digital fake it till you make it
Breakfast is ready
Regular Sunday: ugh tomorrow is Monday. Holiday Monday Sunday: I am immortal. Nothing can hurt me.
if the cauldron is bubbling don’t come-a troubling
Just because it's a holiday weekend doesn't mean you heathens get to skip church today
Call me old fashioned but I think people should go back to dying of dysentery instead of texting me “k.”
*the same percentage
That's the only thing I can think of as well, though a cursory glance at Zillow seems like our values increased almost the percentage, mine did increase more but it's negligible. I think evil is the answer
Both of us the exact same distance from the river
Two thousand feet apart according to Google maps as the crow flies
My sister and I live just a couple city blocks apart from each other. Last year, her house flooded during Hurricane Milton, mine did not. She made a claim on her flood insurance and they covered it. My flood insurance premium increased this year and her's decreased.
It wasn’t so bad when the most exciting tech we had access to was Simon.
Apparently this is sleeping in for me
Will we get a post mortem on democracy
light comes in different wavelengths, the ones you can't see you can still feel
Absolutely oozing sex and onions
Good morning
It's the weekend - Skeet about cum all you want
Why, yes, my penis IS circus-sized.
I mean, I'm mean
This when I tell it, "Smoke this cigarette and shut up!"
Throw a handful of Ace Hardware coupons in the air, and text me if this doesn't work
At a lesbian bar killing the vibe rn
I've only had to pluck one grey pube - me flirting
In Ratatouille, Linguini was a warlock and Remi was his patron Also Colette was a barbarian I will not be taking any questions
I’m not funny enough, I’m not hot enough, but dammit a couple of people like me.
Cum all weekend while you skeet.
One of my favorite combos, tops is steak and lobster though
From the clearance aisle no less
CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM! CUM!👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
*washing down a 10mg indica gummy with a double espresso* y'all figure it out amongst yourselves
Yessss, you got the same model?!
Its the weekend skeet about cum all you want
Named my newest dildo Congress
I'm buying a Powerball ticket this weekend, that's my retirement plan, keep your fingers crossed for me, it's nearly a billion which should last at the current rate of inflation at least ten years
Don't even get me started on the home list