This video impregnated me
This video impregnated me
I am in big trouble
I’m on a sea beans diet—if I see beans, I eat them!!
What mean do you?/ Al of my think is perfection rational
when something bears fruit >>>>>>>>>
You’re in the right place
You folks like to laugh?
"Blueskyism" helped make The Onion one of the largest newspapers in the world in less than a year. If we had spent all of our time on Twitter, we'd be poorer, dumber and terminally ill with internet poisoning. He's just angry he's wasting away over there in a nazi agnostic lane that doesn't exist.
I’ve always thought it was weird for teams to begin a season with rankings. Like, until you play a game your ranking is based on what—hot goss?
hit me with something really rude
does anyone want to fire my therapist for me
dear god
don't make me tap the sign
sorry...wrong thread
9/11 was an ad for kit kat
lmao. legit supervillain behavior for a truck of diet dr pep that is known to give people anal cancer
not related to the post but god damn--a lot of these cuts are a split second long. this commercial makes me feel like i'm on speed
Seven years of good luck
going donald duck mode for 24 hours in honor of labor day. sailor shirt only. i will strut around and cuss out a dog and get so mad i hop up and down and smoke comes out of my ears. i will sit on a towel as well for hygiene
the guy who invented the elastic waist:
watching the scar jo Ghost in the Shell, can't stop thinking of this
you've heard of bubble boy, well wait til you get a load of this guy
I heard he was on that cesium diet
Hotel
Rudy Giuliani, "America's Mayor," has passed away according to his butcher. Mr Giuliani was caught in a gun battle between police and Al Capone's men when the baby carriage he was in rolled down a staircase, eventually ejecting him into the hands of a waiting Lt Nordberg. He died instantly.
i hate this stupid horseshit and i hope the house burns to the ground
Due to a booking error Rudy Giuliani has been laid to rest in the parking lot at Woodlawn Mulch & Chip Depot
This record absolutely whips ass pitchfork.com/reviews/albu...
Happy 'greatest correction ever' day to all who celebrate
Here's my annual sincerepost: 7 years ago today I checked into rehab and I haven't had a drink since. By 2018, alcohol ruled every decision I made through the course of a day, and it was going to kill me. If you or someone you know is struggling, please believe me when I say that freedom is possible
This except "checking Truth Social while driving"
this is the perfect answer
i will heroically take all of the beans
i think i've got enough camel cash to make this happen
very real
Should never have smoked that shit now I’m in “Santo in the Treasure of Dracula”
they know that their policies will hurt people, even their own supporters, and they don't care. they'll gerrymander in texas to help with midterm fallout and put troops in cities preemptively to control unrest. this doesn't end well but i don't yet know for who
Oh my credit score “went up?” How nice. I guess I’ll just opt in for more debt then, what a treat
[clearing throat] she need a place to stay or anything
Oof. I feel this ❤️
In my day we had Neutral Milk Hotel. But Gen Z doesn’t *like that.* The way things are going I guess they’d prefer Biased Oatmilk Hostel!!! And that’s just how i see it #qualityyucks #humoristsofbluesky #aintmisbehaving #humor
As a part of the honors so rightly bestowed on a fallen hero, we're pleased to announce that Babbitt Coin ($j6babe) has now officially launched--it's the most patriotic cryptocurrency to date! Click here for more info: tinyurl.com/4xr2s53e
Man’s best friend? Honey,
CEO and founder of Pee Pee Doo Doo Venture Capital Partners | I'm passionate about turning liquids and food into waste that the body excretes as peee pe or dudu | Forbes 69 under 69 | Former Human Barbell at Planet Fitness
screaming
this is a strange life
chiitan has died
Por favor, siga Chiitan no Instagram🌈 instagram.com/chiitan7407/
it's a lighthearted romp
The hit show Alien Earth features a character named Boy Kavalier. Have you heard about this? Yeah you know it’s set in a different time, because in this day and age he would be called something like Person Cautious!! And that’s just how I see it #qualityyucks #humoristsofbluesky #humor
every year i have a little twinge of regret about abandoning the dallas cowboys after being a fan for most of my life, but then every year my decision is justified by some crazy bullshit
As a part of the honors so rightly bestowed on a fallen hero, we're pleased to announce that Babbitt Coin ($j6babe) has now officially launched--it's the most patriotic cryptocurrency to date! Click here for more info: tinyurl.com/4xr2s53e
[sex and the city voice] honey, get back to me when there’s some Alien Girth
Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017)
Juice loosener real Efficient breathing techniques Vegan Cincinnati chili recipe
fuck
This often happens to me at high altitudes
unbelievably excited about another season of Bake Off coming so soon
😭
[looking up at my 'Man in the Arena' wall art as I jack off to how my crypto holdings are performing] life is ood
Where my pino pals at
Come eat, ya Scum! #mst3k Found in the r/Mst3k on Reddit. I did not make it nor want to take credit for it. I just love it!
"cold calls, my favorite part of the day"
Certain Songs #3121: The War on Drugs – “I Don’t Live Here Anymore” medialoper.com/certain-song...
Christ almighty. God in heaven
That’s awesome man sounds like a great time
You ok hun? You haven't touched your chocolate nun farts.
this movie is whatever, but the way they shove the chefs out of the way as they're moving the president through the kitchen is so unnecessary and hilarious www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEZY...
this is the greatest day of my life
Let Go of the child - Signed, Mister Police
all i want if for them to do away with the little wiggling icon thing and how you rearrange apps on the screen. please god. just let me do something other than try and fail to drag their wiggling little asses to where i want them to be
are you allowed to be near this very sweet looking child
Taylor Swift Hints New Album Could Be About Her —
At least the rest of us have something to aspire to!
have i got the thing for you. this showed up at the non profit i worked at for years.
:(
jeep: most patriotic brand. usa
Lmao that dude loves to be married
Uh
This is easily the biggest news since Jeep announced that the all-new 2026 Cherokee would by a hybrid-only model. #sponsored #taylorswift #theallnewjeepcherokeehybrid #jeep
well that's RUDE
Never get married
Here’s what the Taylor swift and Travis kelce engagement taught me about B2B sales:
No it’s one of the great opening lines of anything
Rewatched The Godfather last night. Better than I remembered. I’ll tell you what though memes have absolutely destroyed several great scenes
oh you're a fan of reliquaries? name the holiest
now see here
shout out our human ancestor who saw a peach and was like "i am going to eat that." you opened up a world of flavor for us all, and we owe you--big time! -hh
Into the dirt Gumby returned/ The Devil’s advances, he never spurned
Pain
My partner was in Manhattan a couple weeks ago and she was shocked at how less crowded it was than when she lived there
june has eaten half a foam earplug. if she doesn't poop this thing out i am going to be so pissed
w/o downloading any new pics, where are you mentally?
