The only circle I’ll ever be in is detailed by Dante.
“Stupidest Genius Ever” 💜 Face With a View but luckily slightly feral. ☘️ Lover of Berries and fruit 🍓🍑🫐 World renowned Cheese Pervert. 🧀 She/Her 🇨🇦 Currently fundraising for surgery to look like my idol Mark Cuban.
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The only circle I’ll ever be in is detailed by Dante.
Burn. You stinker stonk. 😂😂😂
Alf is haunting me. I can’t get a moment’s rest. My dog has turned into a cryptid and I don’t have time for breakfast. Help a girl out. ✨
Okay, I snoozed very little. 😭😭😭
cracking my back into the eight pieces of the "JOIN, or DIE." snake could fix me
Odd duck, that one.
Noooooo. Why must you make it so weird? Canoodling? 😂
I’m drinking water. I didn’t drink any booze yesterday. I do not want another fucking kidney stone. They hurt so much. 😭
Same. Absolutely dragging fam.
This makes so much sense. Do you think it was to cover up horrible facial scars? I wonder if the “Maneater” song was literal. 😭
Maybe she doesn’t need saving. Maybe she needs you to hold her hand while she saves herself.
Me: They say that talking to yourself out loud means you’re smart. And it’s perfectly normal and isn’t weird at all. Me: I know, right?
I’ve been chasing that dragon ever since. 😭
i wish i loved anything as much as elementary school me loved the parachute in gym class
God dammit. Everyone, just @ me. 😂😂😂
“If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?”
Don’t say coitus you weirdo. 😂
It’s yours. It always was.
I should have added quotes, but yes I was quoting Tom Petty. I’m a huge fan. ❤️
At the very least.
I’ll take it under advisement.
Sigh *lick*
Is it shaped like a penis?
I feel like I am. So are you. 💚
I spent 14 years of bodybuilding to look like this. The girl I'm in love with is dating a guy who can't bench 135lb. He's not even rich. Kill me now
This is hilarious. 😂😂😂
Yay?
A million trillion?
The waiting is the hardest part.
this cop literally said “watch your step” buddy i know how stairs work you watch your fucking step. bitch. i’ll fuck your mom.
Farting quizzically
She swore that she’d never been with a parrot before, but when he got her home, she sure seemed like a girl who’d seen a cockatoo.
Oh my god. 😂😂😂
ok I synthesized a few ideas and I think I figured out how to explain basically all goth music
I don’t think that, but I could probably charm my way out.
Good night everyone. Be kind to each other.
I mean, fair.
I can’t type, I’m a blueberry.
That sounds like a you problem.
He’s also obsessed with boobs. 😭
In case you need to use it as a weapon?
Happy Birthday! I hope it’s amazing!
What is “the Rick Roll?”
Nice. 😂
I don’t need therapy. I need forehead kisses and reassurance that I’m not annoying for existing
I don’t believe in farting, so I’m slowly turning into a gigantic blueberry. 🫐
I knew you could do it!
I'm back, now with even more microplastics!
Blessed by the patron saint of bluesky
Someone has to set an example. 💅
Jimmy, you know who you are, I respect that.
I know! That’s the tricky part. I love the tattoo. It’s brilliant. Seriously.
Thank you, Your Honor. I was merely stating that a lot of doom and gloom in this world is due to insufferable men. There are rare gems to be found, and I believe that they are worth celebrating. I would also add that taking a shitpost seriously is pretty silly. 😜
Woah. That’s the tattoo I want to get on my spine!
5:41, it's worth watching the entirety 🎹🎻🎺🎷📯🪕🎶🎵🎼 The power of music brings people together in unity & solidarity No politics No hate No division Just a love for music and people enjoying the orchestra and singing together #beethoven #symphony #music #instrumental youtu.be/kbJcQYVtZMo?...
That’s why I didn’t use “all.” I think you added that all on your own, sir.
Don’t I know it. 😂
Let's kick off our day by making a positive impact with something we do today. Together, we can help make the world a better place.
You could, I don’t know, make a grand gesture and talk to them?
Ahem. “Some” men are terrible?
She is a 10 but she is watching Desperate Housewives instead or crafting and listening to music with you
Non static?
🤬
I suppose I have nothing better to do, and I’m bored af. Let’s fucking go.
#WoW
But then you have to walk all the way back to your body hoping against hope that a horde of vengeful edgelords won’t kill you as soon as you respawn. 😭
ur in her dms. i am her. please stop just leave me alone
Hey, it’s been a LOT.
whaaaaagh!??? what did i do!!
Me: "heres my idea: its a horror game with cheese" E3 security: "ma'am, let go of the microphone" Me: *dragged off the stage* "IT'S CALLED PROVOLONE IN THE DARK AND-"
but, doctor
people like to say "art is important in a revolution" but artists can't afford to work on art if they can't afford to live art can't make a real difference if it doesn't find its way into people's lives talking to your friends about art you like is important work paying artists is important work
This Tuesday is just three Mondays in a trench coat
Like a storm breaking loose?
Liminal?
Maybe even the stuff of legends.
I got u.
That trip to Mar a Lago must have been some kind of a quid pro quo. What dirt do they have on precious Joe? I’m sure Trump asked him to talk him up on the network. 😂
Boy are you in for a treat. I’m a fucking nightmare. (But I’m nice too 😇)
“Eating Pussy and Kicking Ass” is pretty funny.
I’ll take it.
Um what?
Awwwwww. 🥰
He’s spot on. 🎯
#CatDistributionSystem 🐈⬛
Just @ me next time. Sheesh. 😂
me: I have a fear of faces therapist: it’s time to face your fears me: *screams*
The best things in life are free.
🐈⬛🤍
Not going to lie, this is metal as heck
Nope.
I’ll allow it.
Nice.
Blarg.
Well, ACTUALLY…
Change the music! I hate country. You know that.
These are fighting words. There’s nothing quite like the wet and clammy feeling of bologna as it slides out of its plastic casing onto your hand in a freezing, poorly lit…”room.”