Mike Pence must be ruing the fact that he could have soon been President if Trump hadn’t tried to have him killed first.
Ask not for whom the point is missed. It is missed for thee.
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Mike Pence must be ruing the fact that he could have soon been President if Trump hadn’t tried to have him killed first.
Breaking: RFK Jr. eliminates vaccine for Blueskyism.
Should’ve found a bigger spot.
HHS Secretary RFK Jr. announces he will personally oversee President Trump’s medical treatment.
I’m sorry, I know a lot of us don’t like President Trump but I think they could dispose of his cremated remains in a more respectful manner.
Bone-petite!
When Nate Silver continues his obsessions with the website
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxsihneg7o2e
Wait I got a better angle from inside
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxsibfigfm26
They were just following President Trump’s explicit instructions to attack the U.S. Capitol, seems reasonable.
Clots and prayers
Donald Trump Truth Social post: “LIVE EVERY DAY LIKE IT’S YOUR LAST!!!”
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxsgxpsvr32y
I’m sorry, I know a lot of us don’t like President Trump but I think they could dispose of his cremated remains in a more respectful manner.
“I’m followed by .077% of Bluesky accounts so yeah, you could say I’m kind of a big deal.”
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxs6s4yur32y
Donald Trump will be the first President to die in office since John F. Kennedy. Why that's bad news for Joe Biden.
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxs6s4yur32y
President Trump had 4 strokes on the 17th.
A group of Trump supporters is gathered in Lafayette Square outside the White House maintaining silent vigil while holding tiki torches.
Breaking: Distraught White House staffers spotted delivering President Trump his Last Happy Meal.
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. filling an IV bag from a murky puddle near Trump National's sixth tee. "The president needs parameciums," he tells the assembled media. "It's the only treatment proven to work in real testing." His golf cart is piled high with dozens of dead birds.
In an ominous turn for the President, RFK Jr. has relinquished oversight of his medical treatment to Kristi Noem.
Out of force of habit RFK Jr. starts stuffing the President into his chest freezer.
“My God, what’s that fetid stench? Is that what death smells like?”
Fantasy Football Tip: Pick players all from the same team, they’re used to playing together.
I hope JD Vance can hold onto the nuclear football better than he did that NCAA football trophy.
The only thing keeping Rudy Giuliani alive right now is an IV drip of pure ethanol.
HHS Secretary RFK Jr. announces he will personally oversee President Trump’s medical treatment.
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxrilmrru62g
The Residence (2025)
Breaking: Distraught White House staffers spotted delivering President Trump his Last Happy Meal.
The dream lives on, if not the President.
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxrgzfro3622
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxrocsef6w23
The dream lives on, if not the President.
“You’re swinging that a little hard JD.”
Surely as an advanced economy, the United States of America should be able to afford to have: A Ceremonial Hammer for the Verification of the Death of a President
White House officials this morning cautiously approaching President Trump in bed with a small mirror.
The White House announces that this Labor Day President Trump will lay down his burden and embrace the rest eternal.
Make sure to call your mom on Labor Day.
White House Source: Paved-over Rose Garden hides mass grave.
Melania sits Don Jr., Eric, Ivanka and Tiffany down and tells them their dad went out for cigarettes but hasn’t come back.
I am today releasing The Epstein Files memecoin, it’s going to be hard to get your hands on but oh so worth it when you do.
Breaking: President Trump posts on Truth Social: “GOOD ETERNAL DREAMLESS SLEEP!!!”
DC residents use ropes and a pickup truck to topple Trump statue at L’Enfant Plaza.
“Utter Chaos”: Reports of White House in disarray as staffers shred incriminating files, loot gold from Oval Office walls; helicopter lands on roof to evacuate Tulsi Gabbard to Russian Embassy.
Breaking: In a 1-0 decision God upholds the U.S. Constitutional amendment disallowing a President from running for a third term.
Bluesky will die if you don’t boost this one post.
Remember it's a long weekend.
We’re one day closer to Trump leaving office (one way or another).
White House staffers lining up to use the autopen to sign their pardons.
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxqkdqh3jc2f
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxqkdqh3jc2f
He rolled on his deathbed, to his Cabinet gave a whistle, And away they all flew, like a nuclear missile: But I heard him exclaim, ere he headed toward the light - Epstein files to all, and to all a
“GOOD NIGHT!!!” he posted at 6:45 pm.
Leavitt then left the lectern quietly sobbing.
President Trump insists that nowhere in the Constitution does it require him to be alive to be president.
Karoline Leavett: “Where is President Trump? You’ll find him in the cool breeze caressing your cheek and the smell of promise and renewal in a spring day. You’ll hear him in the laughter of an innocent child. He is everywhere, if you slow down to look.”
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxq6l55sbb2e
Sorry I’m late. I was drunk-driving when a woman flagged me down
Breaking: Rudy Giuliani as he passed said “Donald Trump survives.”
Day 13 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo
It’s nice to think that Donald and Rudy will soon be reunited.
Breaking: President Trump orders Rudy Giuliani to prepare the way for him.
“Dictated from my deathbed, not read.”
The release of the Epstein files?
*President Trump furiously googling whether they award the Nobel Peace Prize posthumously.*
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxmuy4o7hg2l
Kristi Noem: "I do know that LA wouldn't be standing today if President Trump hadn't taken action by rescinding his order to burn LA to the ground.”
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxpvbkpvp72h
Breaking: President Trump gives live press briefing to address the state of his health.
Breaking: JD Vance returns to Washington DC from weekend vacation to New Hampshire.
JD Vance announces book deal for forthcoming memoir: “If I Did It: From a Pope to a President.”
Revenge of Four Seasons Total Landscaping
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxps5y3iwy2s
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxps5y3iwy2s
Breaking: The White House released a photograph of President Trump golfing this weekend to dispel recent rumors of his declining health.
I liked Trump better when we thought he was dead.
This is why I design and build my own airplanes to fly on.
“I just visit porn sites to test the age-verification laws.”
Me when my wife sees the browser history
This is why I design and build my own airplanes to fly on.
Now die, die, die, die, die.
https://bsky.app/profile/missingthept.bsky.social/post/3lxp3gm2hj42s
Opening a Native American restaurant so I can say my cuisine is 100% immigrant-free and own the libs.
We’re one day closer to Trump leaving office (one way or another).
I can
"Sir, we need you to get up for the proof of life we discussed. I know, I know. We'll dress you, you're just going to need to walk outside unassisted for 20 feet. Yes, just like a brave big boy. The nurses will be just inside with an adrenaline shot and will rush you back to the hyperbaric chamber."
His last words were "Covfefe." Historians believe this was the name of his beloved childhood sled.
Remember it's a long weekend.
mcdonald’s flags flying at half mast
we were all happy for an evening and that’s not nothing
National Guard troops discover with horror that they have been mulching the National Mall with the composted body of President Trump.
JD Vance insists on eating the deceased President Trump’s heart and liver to try in vain to be imbued with his charisma and likability with the MAGA base.
Breaking: White smoke above the White House indicates that a new fascist has been selected.