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Writer of Men to Avoid in Art and Life, and other books in the Art and Life series. Not a genius. nicoletersigni.com
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People love it
when someone tells me I have a high schooler but Iâm still a high schooler myself
my kid started high school today so if you need me I will be watching a slideshow of her growing up set to ABBAâs slipping through my fingers while crying into my coffee HAPPY TUESDAY FRIENDS đđđ
so sorry for my immediate reaction to this insane news, Iâve had some time to think and compose myself and what I meant to say was LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
LMAOOOOOO
oh god malania found roryâs letter
lol! it works every time
Robert F. Kennedy Jr. filling an IV bag from a murky puddle near Trump National's sixth tee. "The president needs parameciums," he tells the assembled media. "It's the only treatment proven to work in real testing." His golf cart is piled high with dozens of dead birds.
got to read an early copy of this one and it is đ„đ„đ„ (really good)
We dumped a president for being too old only to elect one who immediately died. You can't say that's not funny
I am the one who has been posting as donald j trump while he has been dead. itâs pretty easy. I just put myself in the headspace of an angry racist tree stump and things pretty much flow from there. AMA
âOk, so I canât make jewelry, but Iâm great at disarming an alarm system and smashing glass casesâ
Iâll accept 40% alive and thatâs generous
trying to figure out what I can cut from my budget so I can keep affording bags of coffee
âdonald trump is still aliveâ if you say so
every single american should get to shake elon musk for ten seconds and scream shut the fuck up at his face. itâs what he owes us.
if elon musk shuts his mouth for five minutes will he explode?? I believe we should try this. for science.
Happy Labor Day đ
Rudy Giuliani has been released from hospital after doctors realized he just looks like that
"We're going to need a story about this accident. Say he was helping a woman. That should work. Also, is he wearing pants? Make sure he's wearing pants."
what if we just collectively decide to carry on as if he is dead. what could he do about it? heâs dead.
Ah fuck my lawyer got drunk & kidnapped a woman & then her husband went to save her but he hit my lawyerâs car from behind when my lawyer slammed on the brakes to pull in to a gas station to buy boner pills đșđžđœ
but what did he have for breakfast
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thank god this has the presidentâs full attention (in sunglasses!)
I know her!
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average Dem strategist: we must focus on bipartisan policies that undercut Republican attacks average Dem voter: having studied the denazification of Germany, we must raze the RNC and leave JD Vance clutching a single wool blanket in a cell after we strip him of everything
is this good
Goodness, if the President has a serious health problem I certainly hope he follows the expert medical advice of his Secretary of Health and Human Services
kind of fun to imagine the rest of the world flying their flags at 1.5 mast in reverse mourning though
Trump Administration Halts CDCâs Dying From Preventable Things Prevention Program
after reading this I saw an article about the trump administration halting the CDCâs âdrowning prevention programâ that I honestly thought was satire. but it was also true! what a time to be alive!!! for now
What a cursed sentence (gift link) âThe A.I. companies selected to oversee the program would have a strong financial incentive to deny claims. Medicare plans to pay them a share of the savings generated from rejections.â
excuse me his name is mayor mccheese
finally some good news!!! (weâre all going to melt to death before rfk jr can kiss us on the lips and give us bird flu)
truly a win win
if I see a kidney walking around Iâll be honest Iâm running that thing over with my car
he is really living.
I didnât write this copy!!! blame that pervert
Iâm not sorry Bob!!!!
every time mayor mccheese cums, a quarter pounder with cheese is born đ
if your face would make a decent halloween mask, maybe donât comment on how healthy someone else looks
imagine being a little kid and seeing this man who looks like a ghoulie from the movie ghoulies staring at you. maybe thatâs why they look sick.
This is a real photograph of Washington, DC this week, where the United States president has ordered military occupation in peacetime, and ordered the display of colossal portraits of himself. www.wsj.com/politics/pol...
âDonât politicise school shootingsâ as if it isnât policy choice to allow gun lobbyists to influence looser gun laws in government.
Hi authors! Please remember to file a claim!
canât do anything about the guns, because we need unfettered access to any and all of them in case of a hostile government takeover!!! [gets run over by 17 tanks driven by ICE agents on their way to deport a citizen for jaywalking]
just tried to check my email by typing âemailâ into my computerâs search bar. brain doing real good.
the actual communication problem democrats have is this: their most prominent national figures filter everything through focus grouped lines and are incapable of plain speech
this iconic advertising copywriter named Kathy Hepinstall Parks died over the weekend and I wanted to share something from her website I thought Bluesky would like
Okay I guess I can see why this new logo is controversial
That was one of the most batshit press conferences of Trump's public life. He brandished a photo of Putin and promised to deploy the US military to occupy Chicago, New York, and San Francisco. A sane country would be moving toward impeachment and removal right now.
worth it to avoid bumping elbows with a liberal while reaching for the same pecan log in the country store
[crying into my order of moons over my hammy at a dennyâs in the middle of a mob fight] woke has taken everything from me
âoh my god, did you see brianâs hat?â
i'll say it again, my loud and vigorous support for any democrat who calls for televised hearings and criminal charges for everyone involved in DOGE. this guy should never be able to live in peace again.
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bra shopping is annoying and frustrating and fine to talk about. also fine to not talk about. very weird thing to be upset about.
exsqueeze me? baking powder? can I get a list of things that are not compliant with âfeminine modestyâ? Iâd hate to talk about my disgusting violent period shits and accidentally offend everyone.
Every Democratic member of Congress should be in the streets of DC saying this dangerous authoritarian escalation must stop. Do they not grasp whatâs going on here?
I hate it so much
noâŠitâs gotta be your bull
extremely dumb and embarrassing
đŁïž boooooooooooooooo
âI read AI summaries of 100 books a weekâ is thatâŠdo you think thatâs a brag for some reason
AI is for writers who donât like to write but want to have written, and readers who donât like to read but want to have read. Into the sea with the whole miserable joyless fucking lot of them.
me [smugly]: I pooped 37 times in 5 minutes them: why would anyone want to do that me [superior]: do you want to know my secret? them: no I have no interest in doing that me [self righteous]: itâs food poisoning
Fact-Checking Trump On Crime theonion.com/fact-ch...
Had a GREAT talk with my daughters about AI this morning. We watched this video from Curiosity Theory after the chat, and I recommend folks check it out as a framework for navigating digital/media literacy
Jesus after coming back to Earth:
The OPSEC is immaculate, bro
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sometimes I see a piece of news every five minutes of every single day that causes the bottomless pit of rage inside me to bubble over into a post that says âmore like vladimir tootinâ
[writing the constitution] Benjamin Franklin: Write down "no dumb fucks as president" Alexander Hamilton: Stop saying that Benjamin Franklin: I'm tellin' you. You're gonna regret not writing that down
Had a really stupid idea based on another meme I just made and so i had to make this, i am sorry
He might need to release the Epstein files to distract from the Russia summit
donald trump: [rolling out the red carpet] [excitedly clapping his hands like a little baby] [gently wiping putinâs butt every time he dumps out] I definitely won this meeting
Thatâs right. Getting laughed at is their Kryptonite. The sandwich guy was the first white guy in all this that DHS/WH tried to make an example of in a viral video they posted. They only did it because he got some huge laughs around the world at their expense
Question for the lawyers: Is it legal to shout "I'M SORRY ABOUT WHATEVER WENT WRONG WITH YOUR PENIS" at the masked federal agents occupying our streets?
I was just at the grocery store and they had all the ingredients for making s*ndw*ches sitting out in the open. any violent criminal could walk right in off the street and purchase them.
two. sandwiches.
Trump is a liar doing what authoritarians do. There should be zero discussion of his purported reasons for doing it. The only story is that Trump is attacking the liberties of Americans.
they posted this thinking it makes them look tough???? we are just not living in the same reality as these pathetic doorknobs.
more dem politicians calling donald trump a weak diaper baby please
Bill Corbett 