I am the rocks of the eternal shore - crash into me and be broken Just doing my thing. 🏳️🌈♋☣️🐾 Brisbane, Australia. https://linktr.ee/notsomadboy
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I'm not the biggest Taylor Swift fan, especially after the last 2 albums, but I'm a little excited for her new one because it sounds like it's going to be Max Martin pure pop And I'm considering going to the cinema for the launch in a couple weeks just for funsies
So, I'm doing a fundraising thing through my work, Steptember, and the more donations I get the more I'll be obligated to go walking. You should donate. Partially because it's a nice thing to do, and partially because most of you have seen my dick for free. www.steptember.org.au/fundraisers/...
What a fun flavour
Its pretty grand. I've pretty much slept all day. Just had lunch and I'm about to sleep again
Oh it's Brisbane pride today. Whoops.
I've made a pillow nest on the floor and am having naps in front of the TV The loungeroom is practically dark, the AC is on. This is a good day
Isn't this fun? I can see myself doing it. And I hate myself for it. But it has to be done, there's no other way to release the pressure So, anyway, I'm now on the couch, not eating and not speaking I don't fault anyone not checking in with me. I'm fucking crazy But the pressure is dropping
So instead of my chicken tonight, I will eat nothing And just because my brain is telling me to, I won't eat until my housemate picks up a chicken But here's the catch, he won't know I am waiting, so most likely the penny will drop on Saturday morning, after I haven't eaten for nearly 48 hours
These tantrums are the only way I can remotely communicate how it feels to be in the moment Its like my brain is on fire. And I'm being electrocuted And it hurts and it makes me want you to hurt just a little fucking bit so you can just got a second see me
Nothing else matters in the moment other than doing what I have to do to release the pressure. I don't care I'm being a dickhead. I don't care that I'm being embarrassing and hurtful. Because that's how I feel every moment of every day
I have to let it out. I have to scream and throw things. Because if I don't, I feel like I'm going to explode or die or kill everyone around me And I can see myself being a completely insufferable twat. I can tell myself that I'm being a child and embarrassing myself But the urge is too strong
The slightest deviation from my routine, the slightest let down on what I feel like I'm entitled to (like a fucking chicken) and my vision gets real bright around the edges, my skin starts tingling and I hear this whooshing sound And it's like this pressure that builds and starts overwhelming.
Which I think is actually worse? I'm having a real hard time regulating my emotions lately. I've had to go back on valium and beta blockers (and I started hardcore smoking again) And it's still not enough. I feel like I'm going crazy.
Coles didn't have rotisserie chickens. I get one every week. It forms part of my food habits for the next 3 days. Ever seen a 39 year old throw a tantrum? A lot of people did tonight. I'm shocked they didn't ask me to leave. That said, they didn't ask if I was okay either
They have parallel imports of some confectionery and stuff like laundry powder and the deals are okay But it's not, like, some sort of revelatory store
I have a rather flexible arrangement with the truth. And I don't really do accountability But all that needs to change or I'm going to end up in a position I can't crawl out of
Nothing. Its just a crazy Clark's/silly sollys type deal.
Things are getting a wee bit out of hand in the old noodle. So have gone to GP and now have a plan. Hello support group (I'm fucking terrified)
Get my enough donations so I get a free shirt. Pls. I love free shirts.
So, I'm doing a fundraising thing through my work, Steptember, and the more donations I get the more I'll be obligated to go walking. You should donate. Partially because it's a nice thing to do, and partially because most of you have seen my dick for free. www.steptember.org.au/fundraisers/...
My mother was a raging alcoholic and varied wildly from stupidly overprotective to not knowing or caring where I was for days. That freedom I got when she didn't care is why I'm alive today. If she was overprotective 24/7 I wouldn't have made it to 20
I find it odd that parents are so overprotective these days. Kids, especially boys and young men, are far more likely to kill themselves than be killed by others. And yet, they are sheltered and controlled and 'protected' a lot of the times to the detriment of their mental health.
There's also an 80s one that almost made me cry for some reason and then all the disgust came back and holy fuck what are these AI things going to do to us in the long run
I probably shouldn't share the link, coz it's promoting AI but I just had the most visceral reaction to this Like, nostalgia and loss and teen hormones and disgust and uncanny valley I just... That's too much to feel from one video at 930pm www.instagram.com/reel/DN65jF1...
I'm continuously shocked by the amount of adults that don't know how to cook things. And not young adults, like middle aged people that can't do basic shit, even with a recipe. By 40 you should have the basics covered, surely?
Look, I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not the "fashion gay" type. And truth be told, my style hasn't really changed much since I was 14! I am really only now getting comfortable with the fact I can get away with wearing whatever I want
Only 2 hours at work so far and already a major drama and time spent helping others. Haven't actually touched my crap yet. Sigh
Check out my report for Last.week at last.fm/user/notsomadboy/listening-report/week
You can replace the battery. Easy and cheap
The compress is still a good idea to help speed the process along. Basically that and extra strength Benzac
The last time I did that I ended up with a mondo infection. I've been forbidden to lance or pick or squeeze my own pimples by multiple drs. I'm apparently a carrier of a lot of bacteria naturally. Super fun. So sexy
This week has been terrible. And now I have a pimple/ingrown hair on both the bridge of my nose and my elbow. And they both hurt like a MF
Lol. Everyone blaming the childcare centre and not the stupid man who took a strange kid all the way home. Who should know the kid better? Strangers that you pay, that are looking after 30+ children Or their own family Meanwhile someone has lost their job because the stupid cunt is blind
It wasn't the delivery part that got to me. I can perform for anyone, anytime. I wasn't anxious leading up to it, and I wasn't necessarily relieved it was over I dunno. Maybe I'm lying to myself and I was anxious. Its been a very weird day
Trying to wind down for bed but my brain has Chanse doing the adderall dance in my head 😂😭
I just did a presentation to my entire company. Not huge or anything, just a few minutes. Thankfully I could just remote in and out to do it - because once I was done, off camera and on mute I completely lost it No idea really why I cried. Its been a really weird few months
Alan Moore wrote a really good run of Captain Britain back in the day. Due to rights issues it's not online but if you ever find the trade collection you should give it a go. It's batshit but in the best way
I've started eating Cocoa-Pops again for some reason.
Another weekend down and a new month beginning to boot. Feels like August just zipped by
I watched an absolute tear jerker of a movie last night and I need absolutely everyone else to watch it The Art of Racing in the Rain Its a dog movie. The dog reminded me so much of Oscar. I held it together until the last 15-20 minutes and then I was a goner
Ugh I forgot to fill my Ritalin prescription Oh well, day without tablets today I guess Will have to grab tonight.
Nothing like a little Saturday overtime. Very much needed. We're a staff member down. I should have a portfolio of about 70 customers and I'm pushing 100. Its nice to just pump some music, turn off the phone and process payments and updates (especially at $100 an hr)
Oh I love all of those shows too! They're like a warm hug
I love guys that smoke while getting head
Earthquake?!? In Brisbane?
Did easy tasks and organising
Will always repost Belinda
Ended up taking it at 1210 and then having leftover pizza for lunch Just realised I have a meeting at 2 so probably would have benefitted in waiting to take the Ritalin but what are U gonna do?
And if we're getting super ridiculous with the dream, the song lyrics would be by Patrick Leonard. And I'm nowhere near the singer I was 20 years ago, but I reckon with some good backup singers and liberal pitch correction it would turn out great
I'm not pre-ordering a vinyl, I don't collect Taylor, and I find her fans ridiculous But I fucking love Max Martin. My absolute wildest dream would be him giving me a song to sing and producing it for me. Just one
I have mixed feelings about Taylor Swift, particularly after the last album and her general motivations But I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm excited for the new album - purely because it's 12 Max Martin tracks and it's meant to be very 90s Swedish, like Ace of Base and Robyn's first album
25 years since Girls Aloud Chemistry album. Vinyl getting issued. Hit pre-order so bloody fast. Fuck I love those girls.
Hit a wall. Wanna take lunch Ritalin now, but have lunch in an hour and it might make me not eat Zombie for an hour or no eat at lunch? What to do?
My work deals with a lot of dates - everything has a due date that's imposed at a federal level You'd think that constantly looking at the clock would slow it down, like it does when you're bored or waiting on something But in this case, it speeds it up. The constant juggling and rushing...
That's the bacteria that got in my foot last year and put me in the hospital for a week and a half (and I nearly lost my foot) Good going America!
Every cinephile in Australia wanted to be David Stratton. His passion was infectious – and his legacy lives on
This one hurts. After loving his shows for many years, I met David Stratton through his classes in Sydney. The very first night I nervously spoke to him. He realised we lived near each other and immediately offered me a ride home. This grew into a cherished friendship. 1/x
David Stratton discovering The Simpsons via The Simpsons Movie and immediately falling in love with them will forever remain one of the most beautiful moments in the history of Australian TV.
Oh I enjoyed him so much
Just that they were writing in an environment that took for granted certain things about women, gays, races etc No need to throw it out. Just check the use by date
Doesn't all literature? Or at least a "make sure you're aware of the context and time it was written because there will be stuff that conflicts with your modern sensibility" Particularly in SF, it shows what was taken for granted at the time it was written. Doesn't make the author's bad people.
It's really funny how with some people I'm very top and with others I'm the total opposite It seems to have less to do with me, and more to do with them? Or maybe it's all me and I'm too unaware to join the dots why It's just very interesting how it seems to be the one thing not mood based
This is probably my #1 Madonna track. And it's a remix. It almost pains me to say it, because it feels so unworthy next to Like a Prayer and Ray of Light. But this remix is next level. It's my favourite type of dance music. So many good memories music.youtube.com/watch?v=7Cjo...
Really not in the mood to be laughed at right now
That sounds delicious!
They're slightly fancier than the 2 minute variety. Beef/pork pieces and everything, but it's a home job with the kettle like the quicker ones. Could be stress. Could be my body being weird.
I've had McDonalds breakfast every day for the past 2 weeks Ramen for lunch every day Dinner has been whatever I can microwave or oven And I'm averaging a pack of Tim-Tams every 2 days. And I've lost weight. Like 3kg. Sure, why not? That makes sense
What the ever loving fuck? Once, in my 20s, I overdosed and thought I had shifted into a parallel universe and even that wasn't as weird as what the current reality is Is it going to be like this from now on? Is this it?
I really love 'Sky fits heaven' on Veronica Eletronica The way those synths kick in on the chorus, after not being in the verses at all, feels like a black and white world being colourised for the first time I would love to dance to that in a club
Jesus! You okay?
Came so hard I nearly passed out How's your day?
Same with Children
Every week on a Friday morning I smile and wave at my bin man. Just laying the groundwork...
I'm so glad I started smoking again. It's the absolute perfect time
Happy Veronica Electronica Day to all that celebrate!
My local comic book store guys are adorable youtu.be/Tk6RE0Iw-qQ?...
I love my robovac. I don't care that it's probably selling my home layout on the darkweb. My floors are so clean
I saw it really late and slept through a lot of it! I need to watch it again. Krypto is in it a bit more towards the end.
You missed the best bit with Supergirl at the end.
New Saffia Nygaard video to entertain me on my lunch break. Today is a good day
Going back to my regular job after 4 weeks away is a trip.
I'm happy with the winner of #allstars10
Check out my report for Last.week at last.fm/user/notsomadboy/listening-report/week
If I dont get some many/straight -ish guy up inside me while he dominates the living shit out of me, I may lose my mind
Doing more things
yeah it was bleach
No emotional crisis. I just wanted to brighten up my hair. If I was going full bleach, probably an emotional crisis. But it was just some streaks
I don't even like it when people on Grindr are all "oh, I've heard about you" nope. no you haven't. wasn't me. was my evil twin.
the problem with 'content' these days, at least for me, is that you generally have to be 'the face' of it, or get real personal, for it to be a success. I don't want to be the face of anything. I like being unnoticed. the idea of being famous in any way shape or form terrifies me.
I'm doing a thing
Ann (how to cook that) was absolutely waiting for the verdict to deliver this video. She normally only uploads on Fridays. Literally uploaded the instant the verdict went out. Love it youtu.be/Q_G6y3L0oQI?...
The test of a good haircut for me is whether or not I have to do much styling the next morning. Yesterday's haircut was a good haircut
Tired this morning. Ew
Check out my report for Last.week at last.fm/user/notsomadboy/listening-report/week
For dinner we have an assortment of Chicken and Cheese toasties. One features Swiss cheese, truffle and whole egg mayo The other is aged cheddar, chilli and aioli.
Narla says hi
Stubbing your toe is worse and hurts for longer.
I may have narrated every step of how to make a toasted sandwich to my dog. Not sure she learned anything, but it was fun to have an audience
I'm so not used to doing shit on my own. Solo on the bus and I'm crawling out of my skin.