1st feline member and official mascot of Brighton St Pauli. Likes football, eating & napping. Hates racists, bagpipes and the hoover.
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Have been in cat hospital since yesterday as I was not getting better. Humans at home stressing, meanwhile I’m making besties with the nurses (they fell for my charm instantly). They offered tuna, I accepted…but growled to remind them it’s MINE now. I might get released tomorrow. Paws crossed! #meow
2nd trip to the vet and some more tests as I‘m still feeling poorly. Vet reckons it’s just virus. Paws crossed I‘m back to my old self soon. Humans are trying to get back in the good books by delivering some chicken to my hiding spot. But 2 vet visits in 2 days is really a bit much to forgive. #meow
😻 Thank you. Vet gave me an injection. Feeling a bit better now. Have eaten some of my breakfast. Can’t let it go to waste - illness or not. #meow
Maybe eating that tortilla wasn’t my smartest move. Feeling a bit unwell. When I didn’t eat my breakfast today, the humans got very concerned, put me in the dreaded bag and took me to the vet. They promised me the finest organic chicken breast filets from Waitrose to help me get better. #meow
Chicken. My favourite dish is coq au vin. #meow
The humans finally had their Derbysieg celebration steaks! And they had the audacity to lock me out while eating. Apparently, I can’t be trusted after the tortilla incident. They even waved the steak in front of me while I was stuck outside! But don’t worry… I did get my share in the end. #meow 🤎🤍
Shops were closed after the game - sadly no celebratory rump steak. But I guild-tripped the spare human into handing over most of her wild-caught salmon filet. No one can resist the sad eyes of a cat that has never been fed in its entire life. #meow #Derbysieger #Hamburgistbraunweiß 🤎🤍
DERBYSIEGER! HAnd top of the table! Hamburg ist braun-weiß. 🤎🤍 Fully expecting a big rump steak as a reward for correctly predicting today’s result. #meow
Seven day Minecraft ban. #meow
Dino sirloin medium rare please. #meow
Very one-sided. It’s a bit of a mismatch. Reminiscent of a Tortilla (HSV) v Cat (Pauli) #forzastpauli
St Pauli is bossing HSV around in their own stadium like I boss the humans around the house. #meow
Guess who’s just barfed up an entire tortilla (on the carpet of course)? Turns out it wasn’t to my taste after all. #meow
I‘ve sealed the derby win with my prediction. #meow
I‘ve instructed my humans to add alt text going forward. On this photo I’m sitting on the top of my sofa, looking extremely pleased with myself. #meow
Send tuna. Love is best shown in the form of tuna. #meow
Apparently, while the humans were out last night, a tortilla vanished from its packaging on the kitchen counter. They seem to believe I was somehow involved. I suggest we stop dwelling on this unproven allegation and instead concentrate on today’s derby win. #meow
Moin! Derbyspieltag! Predicting a win today. St. Ellingen won’t stand a chance. Usual reminder that all my predictions are, of course, strictly impartial. #meow #hsvFCSP #StPauli #Derbysieg
Nothing beats a 7:10am bank holiday showdown with the neighbour’s cat. Human ran outside in PJs yelling my name, woke the whole street. Treats cancelled. Worth it. #meow
I‘m in negotiations with the humans as we speak. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Another season in the top league starts and, of course, your favourite top-league cat is back with first-class predictions. Predicting an optimistic win today. #meow #FCSPbvb #StPauli
Absolutely melting hot over here. Deployed my best “tragic feline” act - big puma-style stretch on the carpet. Human fell for it and delivered a chicken ice cream tribute (aka frozen Lickitreat). Feeling refreshed, smug, and ready to commit mild chaos in the garden. #meow
Awful day so far! Pic 1: Being upset after a big fight with the new neighbourhood cat. Lost some of my precious fluff. Pic 2: Watching my territory… from the safe indoors. Pic 3: Thunder & lightning giving me my 2nd fright of the day. Hiding now. Silver lining: Drama tax collected (in treats). #meow
One of us is certainly enjoying this more than the other one. It’s incredible what I’m willing to tolerate for a little splash of milk… #meow
Human is watching TV, I’m watching opportunity. She’s munching one end of the corn. Unnoticed by the human I casually help myself to the other. We made eye contact mid-bite. She’s traumatized. I’m full. 10/10 would do again. #meow #SharingIsCaring #CornHeist 🌽
To my big disappointment they don’t sell them in cat size. I’d look dashing. #meow
My pre-season wellness program is going very well. The humans made me a cat friend out of all my winter fur. I’m looking much slimmer now and am not threatened with an in-between-seasons diet programme any longer. #meow
Send tuna and I promise I’ll get my predictions right next season. #meow
Moin! Final Spieltag! I’m predicting one last home win and hope we’ll be celebrating the end of the season and our Klassenerhalt with a steak dinner. #meow #fcspboc #StPauli
I just picked up my stinky fish treat for correctly predicting today’s result. Bundesliga for another year, an increase of my food rations would be more than appropriate. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! We need a draw at least. The humans gave me some fancy cat soup to help me make the right decision (chicken flavour - my favourite). Paws crossed. #meow #sgefcsp #StPauli
The human made himself a Sunday brunch sausage sandwich. He guarded it like some sort of treasure. Through a masterclass in strategic staring, subtle paw placement, and just the right amount of tragic meowing, I convinced him to surrender a portion. Victory is mine. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Predicting a surprise win for St Pauli. Totally unrelated, but the Stuttgart bowl mysteriously smelled like betrayal and my monthly flea medicine. Nice try, human. #meow #FCSPVfB #Heimsieg
Where’s my reward for correctly predicting today’s result @brightonstpauli.com? Chop chop, I’m waiting. #meow
Moin, Spieltag! Drawli reporting for duty: another draw incoming! The humans are grumbling - apparently we desperately need a win today. I just hope they don’t cut my stinky fish rations over this... #meow #svwfcsp #StPauli #fcsp
Thanks to everyone asking if I got my reward for nailing today’s prediction. Obviously. Finest tuna, served promptly. Currently digesting on the spare human like the royalty I am. Belly fluffs included. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Predicting an optimistic draw. It’s looking increasingly likely that we’re going to stay up this season, with a 7 point lead and only 4 games to play for the teams below us. I’m very invested in this as I’ve been promised a big feast 🍗 if we manage the Klassenerhalt. #meow #FCSPB04
The humans knitted me a tiny, cat-sized beret. And now they won’t stop trying to put it on my head like I’m some kind of fashion accessory. I do not wear hats. I’ve made this very clear. This account is now a hat-free zone. Respect my boundaries. #meow
Where‘s my reward? Expecting an extra piece of stinky fish and a share of your dinner. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Predicting a much needed win. The team better start following my instructions, else we’ll play in a different league next season. 😾 #meow #ksvfcsp #StPauli
The humans got me a new brush because apparently, decorating the house with my majestic floof is ‘inconvenient’. This is just two days of brushing - can you believe it? I keep telling them: I’m not plump, I’m just super fluffy. #meow
The humans have finally come to their senses and reinstated my cat tree in the conservatory. About time! Now I can roast myself in the midday sun like a fancy croissant in my cozy cave. And the upper shelves? Perfect for surveying my kingdom and silently judging the pigeons. Life is good. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! After intense negotiations, I’ve secured a landmark trade deal with the penguins of Heard Island: unlimited fish imports, zero tariffs, and no questions asked. Now, to more important matters - I’m predicting a win for St. Pauli over Gladbach today. You heard it here first. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Bayern are so much better than the rest of the league, we literally put them on a pedestal. Predicting an optimistic draw. #meow #fcbfcsp #fcsp
Sadly, I was denied my stinky fish treat reward and got grounded for the rest of the day after growling and hissing at an intruder cat in my garden. Call the RSPCA! #meow
Moin! Spieltag! It’s time for a win. Predicting a Heimsieg. #meow #fcsptsg #StPauli
Had an exhausting patrolling my garden for rogue pigeons, meowing at the humans for food and being adorable. Zonked out now on the spare human’s lap. Sound on to hear me snore like a tiny, overworked tractor. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! After careful consideration (aka napping on my favourite blanket) I’m predicting a win. #meow #wobfcsp
Happy Pancake Day 🥞 to all humans and their felines. Nom nom nom! #meow
The human thought he could enjoy a sausage sandwich alone. After a brief negotiation (mostly him trying to push me away and me not budging), I secured my rightful portion. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Drawli is predicting another draw. #meow #fcspbvb #StPauli
Paws crossed. #meow
I’m always right. Sometimes the team just doesn’t follow my orders. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Drawli is back. The best I can predict after last week’s disappointing late own goal. But keeping all four paws crossed for a much needed win of course. #meow #m05fcsp #StPauli #fcsp
Bright awake! Prediction imminent. #meow
I love laundry day. Nothing beats an early afternoon nap on fresh bed sheets - so crisp, so clean, so perfectly fur-free… until now. Humans not happy - apparently, I’m supposed to sleep on my blanket to keep the floof contained. Sorry, not sorry! #meow
I wish! I heard from a reliable source that one of them just had a Döner “mit alles” and the other one had a rotisserie chicken. I can’t believe they betray me like this. #meow
Spieltag and Talcotag!!! #we’rehere
Moin! Spieltag! The humans have abandoned me for Hamburg, off to enjoy football and a Talco gig while I’m stuck here with nothing but dry biscuits and tap water. Predicting a grumpy draw. Send tuna. #meow #fcspscf
Spotted an intruder cat in my garden today. Since I couldn’t go out and handle it personally, I did the next best thing: launched a full-scale attack on the spare human‘s bare feet. RIP my stinky fish treat allowance. Worth it. Recharging now with an early afternoon nap. #meow
Obviously, after delivering my expert prediction, I returned to lick the decoy plate spotless. Turns out it was secretly seasoned with my favorite stinky Icelandic fish treats. A true professional never leaves evidence behind. #meow #CrimeSceneCleanUp
Moin!Spieltag! We’re missing one of our human assistants today, so the remaining human had to set up a sneaky 4th decoy plate in the kitchen to keep me busy while the film set was prepared. I’m predicting a draw. Unless Leipzig also ends up playing with one less human… I mean, player. #meow #rblfcsp
Moin! Spieltag! Here is my completely unbiased prediction. The hand guiding me to the right plate is merely an illusion… and I am definitely not bribed with snacks! #meow #fcspfca
Moin! Spieltag! Predicting a much needed Heimsieg. #meow #fcspfcu
The human has gone out to get us a sandwich for lunch. As always when he does that I’m waiting for his return by the front door. Hope he’s buying the cheesy tuna sandwich. #meow
Excellent. I approve of this. #meow
The humans are quite embarrassed that they set it up wrong. I shall remind them of their mishap at every opportunity. Einmal mit Profis arbeiten, hey? #meow
Moin! Spieltag! After Wednesday’s cat-astrophe, my humans are still scratching around for optimism. They think we’ll win today, but I’m calling it now: it’ll be a paw-sitive draw. #meow #fchfcsp #fcsp
Moin! Spieltag! I like English week. It means I get more food and don’t have to eat the kitchen utensils. Predicting a win. #meow #bocfcsp #StPauli
Night night everyone. 😴 I’m tucked in between the humans. The spare humans is fluffing my belly under the blanket. She might get a temporary promotion to favourite human if she continues a little longer (and stops inspecting my litter tray so often - it’s freaking me out). #meow
I have graced the litter box with my masterpiece! 💩 The humans are thrilled (such peculiar creatures). Awaiting my well-deserved reward for being the ultimate good kitty. #meow
No poop yet and still grounded. The humans keep checking my litter box every hour. I’m a very private cat and I find the humans’ interest in my litter box increasingly unsettling. At least they feed me plenty of stinky fish treats ‘to push things through’ as they say. #meow
They just don’t feed me enough and that’s why I have to resort to these sort of measures. Sadly, I am grounded until I have pooped out the bristles. So far I have resisted but the humans are threatening me with a visit to the dreaded vet if I don’t poop soon. #meow
Last night, after I had been fed a tin of premium cat food, for reasons unbeknownst to my humans, I decided to eat the bristles of a silicone basting brush. We are now all waiting for me to poop out little yellow silicone spaghetti. My humans really have hit the jackpot with me. #meow
Cleaning the milk beard. Humans just made coffee and I made them pay the dairy tax. #meow
Siegfried und Joy stabil wie immer 🫶
Moin! Spieltag! The humans wanted to use sausages for this prediction but I said that would be the wurst idea. Predicting a draw against the Frankfurters. #meow #fcspsge #StPauli
Kleiner Vorgeschmack auf Samstag. Blauer Himmel über dem Millerntorstadion, heute 15:40 Uhr.
The humans only just returned from their unapproved holiday to Estonia. And now my favourite human has left again for the week, apparently for something for called ‘work’. Have pinned down the spare human to make sure she stays here with me to cater for my many needs. #meow
Wenn sich hier ein Nationalspieler verletzt … Viele Grüße vom verschneiten Millerntor
Footage of me earlier supervising the pigs in blankets production. #meow
I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas Day. 🎄🎄🎄 I’ve eaten my own body weight in turkey. 🍗🍗🍗 Absolutely stuffed now. Snoozing under my snuggly blanket until I am able to move again. #meow
It’s miserable outside. Managed to pin down the humans for a mid-morning cuddle. Declaring today a duvet day. #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Got some medium-rare steak for my prediction because the human couldn’t finish her dinner. Was so excited that I ran in the wrong direction. #meow #vfbfcsp #fcsp
The humans very much enjoyed yesterday’s game. And while the result wasn’t as hoped, at least the pyro show was excellent. No pyro no party. #meow
We’re here!!! #millerntormuseum
Moin! Heimspiel-Spieltag! My humans are in Hamburg and will be at the game. Go and say hi if you’re in the Gegengerade. Bremen is a lovely team but unfortunately it’s not possible for both teams to win. Predicting a Heimsieg for us. #meow #fcspsvw #StPauli #fcsp
My humans too. They abandoned me for the weekend. Send tuna. #meow
Dinner is finally served. Was absolutely famished. #meow
Apparently, meowing at the human outside the kitchen, at the dinner table, whilst clinging to the same is not considered ‘good cat behaviour’. #meow
The humans are cooking coq au vin for dinner!🍗🍗🍗 My favourite! The human said to me that if I’m a good cat and stay out of the kitchen and don’t meow at her while she’s cooking I might get a little portion. So I’m sitting just outside the kitchen to watch her every move. Being a very good cat. #meow
Bollocks! Went out for my mid-morning stroll and got soaked in the rain. So the human had to rub me dry upon my return. The other human of course had to capture this undignified moment on camera. Neither human is in the good books today. #meow
Send it on now. I am always right (sometimes the team just doesn’t follow my orders). #meow
Moin! Spieltag! Was so hungry. Letting out a few happy growls as I am predicting today’s win. #meow #B04FCSP #fcsp
It would be the perfect box for me. Sadly, I have an irrational fear of cardboard boxes. Not very cat-like. #meow
The humans are making a fish pie for dinner. And they had the audacity to lock me out while they’re busy cooking. Trying my hardest to charm myself back in before dinner is served. #meow
👀 #meow
They usually interfere with my napping schedule. And snoozes always have priority when you’re a cat. #meow
