My plans to eat at Cracker Barrel have not changed.
My plans to eat at Cracker Barrel have not changed.
If it had been a hot meatball sub then the grand jury would have come back with a very different decision
National Awk-wuard
Trump changes name of the Department of Defense to the Whore Department.
He is definitely a shuffling zombie and not one of the fast movers
Take Trump's death today figuratively, not seriously
I put on pants just like everyone else - reluctantly.
Democrats have to stop acting like they're smarter and morally superior to the Republicans. Even though it's obviously true.
And to think that was the best run he had
Given recent policing developments, I have cancelled my crime week in Washington DC. I will spend my crime dollars locally instead.
Air Canada flight attendants end strike. Airline agreed that young FA's can be just as grumpy as senior colleagues - a key demand.
That cop is a sad *sub*stitute for a man
Thank you for your attention to this matter - my astrophysics professor
Look, I'll trade off some immunity from deadly diseases if I can have a sexy voice like RFK Jr.
Are gummies impacted by going through the wash? Asking for a friend (who is curious about my gummies that went through the wash).
Trump has been 'self-honoring' ever since Melania read that her pre-nup didn't actually specify that burden
Maybe, just maybe, Big Balls is compensating for some deficiency with his choice of pseudonym.
Nobel Piss Prize , will be awarded by an as yet unnamed Russian prostitute
Presidential Medal of Peedom
It's a homespun card some of them play - particularly Kennedy from Louisiana
'Dad gum' is making a comeback!!! (among senile racists)
It's not impossible that Trump's fear of the Epstein files being released is that they include stories of his sexual inadequacies.
Coprolite happens
Aerodynamically, that's gonna require a much larger cape
@canadaland.com this, I posit, warrants a full 'guffaw' rather than a mere 'chortle'. Keep shilling your Canadian mattresses
Trump: I'm now averaging 6 whores a month
As a Canadian, Washington DC is where the most worrying crime in the World is happening
Sure I'll join ICE. Join it with gin, tonic and lemons that is.
I'm going long on gold leaf futures
Jeff would love to be referred to as 'stiff' - cuz of the ... you know
It's ridiculous that I, a white male with masculinity issues, is unable to work for ICE just cuz I'm not American!!
Toddler on the Roof
Perhaps some actual original Nazis are still around and could do a Season 2?
Think of the orange stain if he fell off the roof.
Why is the Epstein list stored on the roof of the White House??
Do Sydney Sweeney next 👍
Trump wants to build a nuclear reaction on the Moon. Ridiculous!! It should be wind turbines!!
If I've learned one thing from PSA it's that @jonlovett.bsky.social installed his home security system on his own.
Trumpty Dumpty
The Scottish caddie who cheated for Trump named to be in charge of employment statistics.
That's his golf swing takeaway
Taco (word) salad
MAGA is upset not because Epstein's victims were young girls, but because they were white young girls.
Watch Happy Gilmore 2 or finally use this home colonoscopy kit?
Before vaccines, people didn't live long enough to accumulate enough stupidity to think that vaccines don't work.
Son should know adult boobs are a turn off for Daddy
I'm not sure what the etiquette is, do you block me or do I block you? Or perhaps same time in 10 secs?
Hope you feel better
Alas, you missed my joke, ie that someone might advertise their misery on Hinge etc Have a good day
Err this is not a dating app...
So much urine already watering those greens
me: this post is inappropriate, guaranteed to offend, and I will regret posting it gin: whoa, slow down, let's think this through before making a rash decision not to post
Your retirement would help with idiot control
Help me settle a bet with this Emergency room MD. Is 'supporating' spelled with 1 or 2 'p's?
It's his weave
Toilets were porcelain, no McDonald's - easy decision
Err that not a ball. It's a USB drive with the Epstein Files on it.
Release the Epstein PowerPoint!!I don't have time to read a bunch of files.
Epstein doing more good in death than he ever achieved in life.
Hulk never really lived up to the promise of that bandana
Hulk Hogan wasted his lack of talent. #buhBye
D. Just before the next Trump celebrity golf tournament
I'm in the Epstein PowerPoint but not the Epstein files.
All I know that is just Ghislaine Maxwell is going to be participating in Trump's next celebrity golf tournament.
Trump doesn't have chronic venous insufficiency. His ankles are just bloated cuz he's full of shit.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR NON-ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
So is the Epstein list just Trump's name over and over?
Trump: hey MAGA you've got to move on from Epstein Pope: we've been making too much of a big deal about Jesus.
Shhh
Err, nope to anything tainted by 99
I hope that young girl is offered therapy
One in 10 people hear voices in their head. Wait sorry what's that.... Oh actually I've been informed that it's two in 10.
Marked safe from being on the Epstein list.
Just thank God he doesn't wear shorts
Art of the No Deal
@jonfavs.bsky.social awesome Offline show on why we need religion. Excellent emetic.
Launching a new cologne called Epstein's Mist
Mexico will pay to blend
Actually Bondi was referring to 'Epsteins Gist', a brief report confirming Trump's absence from every party.
I fear Doocy had a minor stroke.
Trump is NOT on the Epstein list. But he IS in the Epstein spreadsheet.
A ladder and a can of spray paint could be put to good use
Happy International Scourge Day to all those who flagellate.
Or have little speakers that whisper in their ears - 'women still laugh at you'
I've been happy being retired but this employment offer to be an ICE agent is just too good to pass up. Crazy salary and I get to hide my massive male insecurities behind a gun.
I'm an old white man but not 'kill everybody else' old white man.
Perhaps. But they wanted petty & mean and they got it.
So much bullshit - they absolutely knew what they were voting for
Let's roll the dice
A whole bunch of incel Redditors sprucing up their resumes in their parents' basement so they can apply to ICE
Birthright citizenship tourism
This is critical issue ....
'Mickey behind the podium' for $200 Alex
Just got an unexpected package shipped from Iran. Very heavy. Lots of warning labels saying store away from people.
Trump deserves the Nobel Piece of Shit Prize.
Masked ICE == MICE
Trump: THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!! Hooker: well that's weird but OK
I was trying to explain 'mansplaining' to a bunch of women but they just didn't get it.