Look, man. A little kid doesn’t need 37 LEGOs. They can get along fine with three or four.
I am a spinner of yarns. Both metaphorically as a writer and literally as a crocheter. spinnerofyarns on StoryGraph
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Look, man. A little kid doesn’t need 37 LEGOs. They can get along fine with three or four.
Fuck you, pay me.
Republicans are worried that books and websites are too graphic sexually for children. But then they broadcast the cabinet meetings and that’s just wall to wall asslicking and cocksucking.
It says Ms.13. That way it covers his gang affiliations and his predilection for thirteen year old girls.
Charlie Kirk looks like the Bob’s Big Boy mascot.
Pretty fucking rich of Trump to use alleged mortgage fraud as an excuse to get rid of Lisa Cook. Granted, with the amount that he committed in exactly the same manner, he’s probably an expert in fraudulent financial disclosure.
Fun fact: Gwi-Ma is voiced by Lee Byung-hun who played the Front Man who controlled the Squid Game.
Oh, no! The FBI raided John Bolton’s home! Anyway, where are the fuckin Epstein Files?
These people have no idea what they are in for and I’m so excited and thrilled for you. I haven’t picked up dice since our last adventure. I will live vicariously through you.
A friend refers to Cracker Barrel as Honky Bucket and you’ll never take it away from me now.
Well, this has already aged poorly. Bad takes R Me!
Ha! It makes a loud ozone squelch and leaves a green-orange imprint of the last thing you watched before turning it off.
Finally. You made the list. Welcome. We’re all in this abandoned Golden Corral watching Night Court reruns on fubo on this old 42” Magnavox.
I live in a world where I just uttered the phrase, “Oh, dammit, it’s the bad UPS guy again.”
Bottom
I’m so very happy* the DOJ** is finally releasing*** the Epstein files**** *im never happy **Dogpile of Jerkoffs ***only a small redacted portion ****just the parts without republicans.
Well, she does have impeccable taste.
In what will come as no shock to any person who has ever known me, Dungeon Crawler Carl is everything I never knew I wanted in a book series. Stupidly delightfully insanely fun.
BREAKING: MSNBC has changed their name to MS NOW Series X One.
At least when Nero fiddled, it wasn’t with teen girls. #ReleasetheEpsteinFiles
And they freaked out. That’s so awesome! I always knew you’d be out there someday! I can’t wait to see you in something! Let me know. Sometimes, even that is enough to impress people. You know the truth about the industry and your success. But other people not inside? You’re a damn superstar.
Don’t know your cheerleader, so I can’t say if a bit of it is your celebrity. I remember coming home for my ten year. I had literally just moved to LA. Had done nothing. Was embarrassed to go because what am I supposed to say. So when people asked I’m like well, I just moved to LA…
At my reunion, I got talking with a girl who had been on the dance team. Gorgeous. Sweet as hell. Always has been nice. And the topic if dating came up. And she asked why we never dated. And I said well, girls like you never went for guys like me. And she said because guys like you never asked me.
“We can leave this guy alone, fellas. He’s clearly white.”
I hear you. Every pair of shorts I buy are unintentional capris. I always look like I’m in the opening band for The Ataris or Yellowcard.
“Don’t worry, I’m a diplomatic negotiator.” “Really? Did you stay at a Holiday Inn Express?” “Yeah. And that’s where I found all these sensitive classified policy documents.” “And that’s where somehow qualifies you?” “Can’t be any worse than the current guy.” “You son of a bitch, you got the job.”
The kid stuck in the bathroom got a 91.
“But your honor! The assailant’s weapon was at least a foot long!”
Kudos to Gavin Newsom for flipping Trump the bird and taking the fight lowbrow and all. But also, did everyone just forget about his equivocating podcast horseshit? I mean, dude is a fucking weasel. It’s fun watching him bite the right person in the nuts but do not forget he’s a both-sideser.
What’s the over/under on the Kennedy Center Honors just being a giant scheme to force all the honorees to join ICE?
Slightly diminish a band: Giovannie and the Guys He Found On Craigslist
A poet walks into a bar Bartender: why the Longfellow?
Very excited to find out how Donald Trump freeing a convicted pedophile was Obama’s fault.
EJ Antoni: “In fact, not just monthly reports, but we wouldn’t have to do any reports if there was no department head!” *points gun at own head* “It’s all for you, Don-mian!” *blows out brain*
Money, lots of it.
I’ve read Asimov. Loved it. I’ve never read any Clarke. I read one Heinlein and ohhh, buddy. Like listening to your racist uncle try to say positive things about “them colored.” It’s true. These are some of the shoulders upon which new authors stood. But so is Star Wars. Read what you want.
Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi. Once again refused a pierogi.
“OOH, OOH, Do me Next!” Shouts shaved gorilla and sentient mound of cookie dough.
Thank God for Bluesky or I’d have to enjoy things without being guilted into shame.
I need someone to teach me hacking, quick. I mean, yes, I’m going to immediately eradicate my student debt because duh. I want to go into the internet searches of every politician and religious leader responsible for the age verification obscenity laws and post every one of their site visits.
I don’t want him to die. I want him ousted from office. I want him sent to jail in New York. I want him to live in the festering puddle of his own disintegrating mind as his faculties leave him one by one until he forgets how to breathe and suffocates slowly to death. I want him to the pain.
Supreme Disappointment
If Dean Cain is ICE, his fatass is one of those giant sphere cubes they put in bourbon glasses.
It’s like every new distraction they release makes you realize Trump’s involvement in the Epstein Files must be even worse than you think. Trump definitely molested a teen. Trump had a teen pee on him. Trump murdered a teen who giggles at his teeny peeny. Trump ate that teen as a hamburger.
Can’t wait for the first lawsuit from someone being airborne doused by hot Starbucks.
That’s all I really could hope for. Awesome to hear.
How did you like it?
Are you seeing Hundreds of Beavers? Hope you like it! I’ve heard nothing but great things.
Psssh. Baseball on a NASCAR track. Call me when they make NASCAR drivers have to run the bases with their cars.
Bernie Moreno should be scared to travel to major cities because he’s a Columbian immigrant who had to pay out wage theft settlements. According to his own political party, this makes him a thug member of Tren de Aragua and means ICE can snatch him without a trial and deport him to El Salvador.
I’m currently at the Ohio State Fair. Last year, one in 4 or 5 people were wearing pro-Trump gear and there were 3 or 4 farmers market stands prominently displaying it. This year, I saw one stand with two items almost hidden. And I’ve yet to see anyone wearing stuff. Maybe we’re winning?
I have eaten a deep fried taco and we drank a Buckeye lemonade, a lemonade with chocolate and peanut butter added.
We must protect state fairs at all costs.
Please be careful. I was gonna post this about the tsunamis to my friends on the West Coast, Hawaii, and Japan. But it kind of just applies to everything. So I dunno. Be careful. Shit’s fucked.
I read that as “Mullins Admits He Killed Epstein to Cover For Trump.” Which is definitely a thing he would claim.
I missed the word “resolution” and, my friend, that was a very different headline I read in my head.
Here’s a little South Park math: They signed a deal for 5 years and ten episodes a season. So 50 episodes. And that brutal ass finishing move ending the episode, that was labeled as PSA 1 of 50. So I’m guessing they’ll end EVERY EPISODE from here on with one of those.
Oh please, sweet dear baby lord Jesus who lives six miles above Dayton, OH. Please let this entire season of South Park go that fucking hard and even harder.
At first I saw the combo of trending Hulk Hogan and Air Bud and I’m like “oh what the fuck, the dog’s wrestling now?”
Fuck. Air Bud is getting a remake. Am I still contractually obligated to do a real time review of this one?
Hulk Hogan died. He was a reeeeeeaaal American.* *derogatory
Lynd Fruit Farm in Pataskala. Open til 5. They’ve got a bunch of flavors.
“Having a birthday, huh? Must be nice to be able to focus on getting older while other people are dying because of the atrocities in the US. I’d make a wish that more people would care about what’s going on around them than some arbitrary anniversary. But that’s just me.” - Bluesky, always.
Oh c’mon. It’s sweet. Too sweet. Oh, god, it’s way too sweet. Need…need my insulin. My vision, contracting. Going to blackout.
I have watched Dirty Rotten Scoundrels countless times and it was only tonight I realized that Michael Caine’s butler was played by Emperor Palpatine.
Aw, dammit. She was definitely one of my favorite professors. And people.
I will personally nominate the first person to bean Dr. Oz in the face with a hunk of carrot cake for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Dune 3: Dune Over My Hammy
Big sorry to whomever went to the Columbus Book Festival today. What with the fluctuating thunderstorms, complete lack of parking, and 1800% humidity. You are truly book lovers.
Those who shit toilets Are the who burn crosses
“Hey. He didn’t say WHICH 90 days.” - Scott Bessent, probably
Had a boss who insisted we take photos of every serial tag when we would run equipment audits. And we said that’s a lot of extra work. And he said too bad. So a supervisor took him out on an audit and had him take pictures of every tag. Didn’t even finish before he said we don’t need to do that.
I say this every time. I dare you. I motherfucking double goddamn dog dare you. Go out. Go out for one fucking day and pick vegetables. Go out and work an entire ass shift in the humidity and heat for all those hours. And then you tell me that seniors and children should be able to do it.
Sean Duffy, huh? Great, now all the flights will watch out for helicopters and fucking rocket ships and satellites.
You know what else losing teams do, Abbott? They fire their fucking coaching staff. And as far as saying “instead we should find a way to make sure this never happens again?” Yeah, it hasn’t worked real fucking well with school shootings. So maybe get a better fuckin playbook.
Yeah. But when you lose a football game, hundreds of people don’t fucking die.
All I keep thinking of is Cujo by Stephen King and Eat the Ones You Love by Sarah Maria Griffin. I don’t know if they qualify as “serious portrayals.”
After they waste our money at MacArthur Park, maybe they can show stormtroopers busting up an El Pollo Loco. “Our intelligence shows that Mexican chicken restaurants are drug fronts for La Chinga Migra and MS-Doc. El Pollo Loco translates to The Crazy Chicken.”
“They’re releasing spicy dill pickle pumpkin spice hot honey salted caramel buffalo ranch dragonfruit soft shell crab s’mores Oreos soon.” “Ugh. I just threw up in my mouth a little.” “Yep. That’s what they taste like.”
Steven Spielberg fucking HATES summer vacations.
Kinda hoping a bunch of pAtRiOts declare the government can’t regulate them and goes swimming in the shitwater that forced beach closures.
Hopefully RFK drinks a big glass of shitwater to prove it’s not dangerous.
But you’re about to be partying in Qtown with Judd and the gang, so you’ve got that to look forward to.
Might be mine. I’ll get priced out of my health insurance. So I have to go find another job. Probably going to have to go back to corporate.
Jesus. Today sure has that ending of Empire Strikes Back energy.
A fuckin' bullet rips off part of your head! Your brains are laying on the ground in little bloody pieces! Now I ask ya. Would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son of a bitch who shot you was wearing?”
Schumer got the NAME of the bill changed. I can just hear Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny: “Imagine you're a deer. You're prancing along, you get thirsty, you spot a little brook, you put your little deer lips down to the cool clear water... BAM!” 1/2
DeWine did a good thing for once. The shitty Ohio library bill got vetoed. The idiots wanted to force all libraries to essentially create some kind of curtained off adults only section for any books that mentioned sexual orientation or gender identity/expression. Ohio is so fucking Ohio sometimes.
No, I’m ain’tin’t.
The new reboot of Beauty and the Beast looks TERRIBLE.
I am so wildly impressed with what @cannonballread.bsky.social has become. Yeah. I gave birth to it and I’m crazy happy that I’m responsible for thousands of new book reviews sprouting up. But first Nicole and then Bonnie took my lil baby and raised it into greatness. You are simply incredible.
Everything is wet thrice-fucked garbage right now. But I hope @rianjohnson.bsky.social and Poker Face get thirteen Murder She Wrottened, Columboriffuc seasons. If only so he can keep letting these actors work way outside of the boxes they are typical crammed into.
It’s the only way to be sure.
*checks under hood* “Yeppp, you got squirrels chewing through the wires of your government. This ain’t gonna be an easy patch. Either we gotta tear her down and do a complete rebuild. Or I’d just suggest getting a new one. It’ll be less of a hassle.”
There’s also a really good one off Sawmill in the south part of Dublin. Park to Shop? Something like that. It’s next to the corpse of Joann’s right about where 161 crosses, south of 270.
Check over on Bethel Road. I’ll horribly butcher the name but it’s right in the shopping center with the Micro Center right by the entrance to 315. There’s an Asian marketplace.
I know we’re a global community because I see posts on Bluesky bitching about the heat and the temperature is in the 30s, and my response is what the fuck are you talk— oh, Celsius. Yes that’s considerably warm.
Man, it's like our country was built on an old Indian burial ground or something.