You do realize that what you're really saying is "Straight men are not owed romantic love, and should resign themselves to being alone forever if they aren't privileged enough to meet a standard of social acceptability."
Replies
No i am not get some fucking self respect and confidence James fuckin hell
aug 2, 2025, 1:21 pm • 1,152 10 • view
Best response I've ever seen 😂🤣💖
aug 2, 2025, 7:10 pm • 24 0 • view
Oh, I was saying that.
aug 14, 2025, 7:33 pm • 30 0 • view
immediate follow
aug 14, 2025, 1:17 am • 26 0 • view
I’m saying it. Men aren’t “owed” love or sex or attention. If they can’t reckon with that and figure out how to earn those things, they should be left to wallow in loneliness and despair. Skill issue. Git gud, fellas.
aug 14, 2025, 2:04 pm • 219 8 • view
I second this. Grow up, get a personality, learn to love yourself first, flirt with everyone but expect nothing, get some hobbies, and just be a person. There are no main characters.
aug 14, 2025, 2:12 pm • 101 1 • view
And by flirt with everyone I mean be kind and interesting.
aug 14, 2025, 2:12 pm • 77 1 • view
“Be someone who other people want to be around” should not be controversial advice.
aug 14, 2025, 2:38 pm • 91 6 • view
I can afford a critical look at myself and mention that it took me a long time to learn this lesson. I was a sad young man, convinced that my loneliness was other people’s responsibility. Whether or not I was taught this is irrelevant, because I was the only one who suffered.
aug 14, 2025, 3:08 pm • 30 0 • view
I was only wee when my dad told me, "my job is to teach you how to be the kind of person you would want to be around". I strive for it every day. I also learned not to be around people who don't care what they're putting out.
aug 14, 2025, 4:37 pm • 12 2 • view
flirting being just, you know, having a nice happy conversation with a stranger or acquaintance. not confusing gentle teasing with "tricks" to belittle someone or force them to give you attention
aug 14, 2025, 4:31 pm • 4 0 • view
Amen
aug 14, 2025, 8:07 pm • 1 0 • view
bsky.app/profile/gurr...
aug 14, 2025, 4:32 pm • 26 0 • view
Jesus, it's not rocket science! Learn to do dishes and cunnilingus, don't do stupid pranks, and just don't be a dick.
aug 14, 2025, 9:55 pm • 9 0 • view
The bar is truly in Xibalba
aug 14, 2025, 9:57 pm • 2 0 • view
Also if your mom, siblings, or buddies are bitchmade, practice telling them to respect your boundaries. A therapist can help you practice and refine this skill.
aug 14, 2025, 9:57 pm • 4 0 • view
It really ain’t much more complicated than that.
aug 14, 2025, 9:56 pm • 4 0 • view
Most straight women actually aren't looking for a guy who looks like Brad Pitt but with the income of Howard Hughes. Just make her life on net better than being alone, and you're usually gonna do OK.
aug 14, 2025, 9:59 pm • 7 1 • view
It doesn’t even have to be a binary of succeeding in finding love or being miserable. Lots of people go without romance and sex completely by choice. Lots don’t choose that but still find other ways to find fulfillment in life. No one is entitled to a partner nor are they obligated to find one
aug 14, 2025, 6:51 pm • 7 1 • view
The issue, of course, is that so many of these guys consider their partner to be their primary source of emotional fulfillment. That not fucking somehow means that they can’t have comfort and happiness at all
aug 14, 2025, 6:51 pm • 8 0 • view
Absolutely this. Like, if a guy doesn't meet a standard of societal acceptability, he should do the damn work to be less of a dick to people. And not because it'll get him laid but because he should be less of a dick to people — because we all have to live together in community with eachother.
aug 14, 2025, 6:41 pm • 18 0 • view
They say the left doesn’t help men get laid, but here you are giving him the most useful advice he’ll ever possibly get for improving his odds of attracting an enthusiastically consenting partner.
aug 14, 2025, 5:59 pm • 25 0 • view
I will. Human beings, broadly, aren’t owed romantic love. No one is “owed” love. Love is freely given. Never earned. Never owed. Always freely given.* *but if you don’t love your own child go live in a hut in the woods and think about your mistakes
aug 3, 2025, 1:10 pm • 460 9 • view
I think the part she was disagreeing with was the second part about needing to be "privileged" to be socially acceptable, instead of doing work on themselves.
aug 22, 2025, 5:43 pm • 0 0 • view
How in the fuck did you find this thread after 20 days. Incredibly sus.
aug 22, 2025, 6:30 pm • 0 0 • view
It got reposted by someone I follow.
aug 22, 2025, 10:50 pm • 0 0 • view
Ah! That makes sense.
aug 22, 2025, 10:51 pm • 1 0 • view
We do need to teach men these things but we must also make sure they understand that the problem is not our sex drive in itself. "You don't have to be the bad guy" vs "you are the bad guy by definition so you might as well own it."
aug 14, 2025, 9:39 pm • 3 0 • view
The book "dear bi men" is a great example of this. Its written by a guy asking men hard, introspective questions. It recognises that men have to confront our roles in patriarchy and how we've harmed women, without shaming ourselves. It does this by talking about how men are programed from birth by
aug 15, 2025, 12:15 am • 6 2 • view
By patriarchy to fulfill a role. That destroying patriarchy may seem like we're losing potential power but that power was always illusionary. A carrot dangled in front of us enternally out of reach . While destroying patriarchy brings freedom from gender roles
aug 15, 2025, 12:19 am • 7 0 • view
To paraphrase the author "it is no longer enough that we escape the hampster wheel of patriarchy, but that we must aim to destroy it"
aug 15, 2025, 12:21 am • 6 1 • view
and fwiw most women are not interested in shaming, we just want some acknowledgement and a fucking break
aug 15, 2025, 1:14 am • 4 0 • view
I wish friendly dopemine for you so I'm sending a corgi gif
aug 15, 2025, 1:30 am • 1 0 • view
Yeah you may be interested in this idea called discipline. For some reason we don’t teach it very well. It’s when you say “here is a weakness we humans have and here is how we prepare for that and techniques to help us not make horrifying mistakes.” Instead of “your feelings are evil.” See?
aug 15, 2025, 1:07 pm • 0 0 • view
all they can do is whine silly passive-aggressive questions
aug 14, 2025, 6:36 pm • 3 0 • view
Unless he's confusing "are not owed" with "shouldn't have", this is so fucking stupid.
aug 14, 2025, 4:01 pm • 48 0 • view
It doesn't require privilege to, as the person you are responding to said, "treat women as equal human beings with autonomy and respect the fact you are not owed sex or their affection." It requires not being an asshole.
aug 14, 2025, 5:50 pm • 8 0 • view
Isn't that true for everyone, though?
aug 15, 2025, 6:07 pm • 0 0 • view
How stupid do you have to be to read "not owed romantic love" and go to "doomed to loneliness!"? Have you considered, i dunno, sucking less as a person? Maybe be the kind of person people want to be around?
aug 14, 2025, 1:33 pm • 20 1 • view
It's criminal that you do not have the self-awareness to feel shame
aug 14, 2025, 4:06 pm • 0 0 • view
I'd delete that account, but you do you.
aug 14, 2025, 8:53 pm • 1 0 • view
Be a good, interesting and caring man. If you are not finding satisfaction, you got more work to do on yourself. Simple.
aug 14, 2025, 3:59 pm • 3 0 • view
Men are NOT owed romantic love. DUH.
aug 14, 2025, 10:13 pm • 0 0 • view
Lmao WHAT
aug 14, 2025, 3:19 pm • 4 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 3:03 pm • 2 0 • view
HAHAHA "treat women like equals" was seen as a privilege in order to meet social acceptability HAHAHAHAHAHA
aug 14, 2025, 3:02 pm • 7 0 • view
No one is "owed" love by another person, other than perhaps within a family. Friendship & love have to be freely given. If you, are having problems finding love, do something about it. See a counselor. Work on your social skills. Ask friends for feedback on how you come across.
aug 14, 2025, 4:30 pm • 1 0 • view
That bears no relation to what she said, and no relation to reality.
aug 2, 2025, 6:49 pm • 11 0 • view
Pardon me, but what the fuck?
aug 15, 2025, 10:26 am • 0 0 • view
No one is “owed” romantic love, especially if you can’t act like a decent human being who treats his partner with respect.
aug 14, 2025, 6:11 pm • 4 0 • view
Becoming a person who would be disgusted with themselves if they FORCED themselves on another person is a bare minimum moral standard to aspire to, yes.
aug 14, 2025, 1:46 pm • 44 1 • view
No-one is owed 'romantic love' you self-pitying dipshit.
aug 2, 2025, 6:43 pm • 9 0 • view
If your not going to listen to Women, Listen to a fucking guy; Your personality is gross; your not the victim and No you do not currently deserve love from a Woman or anybody with how you are acting, your Mother raised you to treat women like this? Disgraceful.
aug 14, 2025, 9:21 pm • 3 0 • view
Others phrased it to you nicely, I did not want to ; because I don't owe you that.
aug 14, 2025, 9:22 pm • 2 0 • view
Yes. Correct. And that means you.
aug 14, 2025, 10:26 pm • 0 0 • view
"aren't privileged enough to meet a standard of social a acceptability", man, framing being a decent person this way is setting yourself up for failure. I feel sorry for you that you feel like you don't have permission to just be a nicer person. I urge you to banish this self pity from your mind.
aug 14, 2025, 5:33 pm • 16 0 • view
You need a remedial reading comprehension class.
aug 14, 2025, 7:06 pm • 2 0 • view
Bot
aug 2, 2025, 7:09 pm • 2 0 • view
You might be owed a knuckle sandwich but not a relationship
aug 14, 2025, 6:03 pm • 1 0 • view
Hahahahaha you think you’re owed romantic love? That’s a take.
aug 14, 2025, 6:03 pm • 4 0 • view
no one is owed romantic love. what's your problem
aug 14, 2025, 5:29 pm • 7 0 • view
as a dude, you should be fucking embarrassed you reduced it to privilege instead of just being not a asshole asshole
aug 14, 2025, 6:23 pm • 2 0 • view
Meeting a standard of social acceptability in this case means basic manners and respect; that's not privilege, that is your responsibility as a human. I'd go further: not only are you not owed romantic love, shunning is appropriate if you can't manage those basic expectations.
aug 14, 2025, 4:25 pm • 5 1 • view
No one is "owed" love as an adult, you jackass.
aug 14, 2025, 5:19 pm • 10 0 • view
Why do you think women should act against their own best interest for the benefit of some random man?
aug 14, 2025, 4:28 pm • 5 0 • view
No one is owed love that way.
aug 14, 2025, 6:14 pm • 2 0 • view
You feeling “owed” anything from another human being is the problem, dickhead
aug 3, 2025, 9:42 pm • 54 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 8:45 pm • 1 0 • view
those are separate problems. one is: no one is owed romantic love. =true= the other is: standard of social acceptability =problematic= if you have a weird personality, or if you look weird, those are things the left is currently destigmatizing. if you're an asshole? you're on your own.
aug 3, 2025, 1:58 pm • 92 1 • view
Yeah, it's not social acceptability it's basic decency.
aug 14, 2025, 6:01 pm • 3 0 • view
ideally, we only socially accept basic decency, tbf
aug 14, 2025, 6:02 pm • 1 0 • view
Right, but as you pointed out, the idea that nerds and freaks can't get laid is absurd
aug 14, 2025, 6:04 pm • 5 0 • view
yeah mans missed all the orgies at the cons, apparently. lmfao
aug 14, 2025, 6:08 pm • 2 0 • view
All the ones I know have multiple partners 🤣
aug 14, 2025, 6:10 pm • 2 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 6:12 pm • 2 0 • view
You can find an equally weird partner. It ain't too hard.
aug 14, 2025, 2:04 pm • 55 0 • view
40 years with my weirdo
aug 14, 2025, 7:53 pm • 3 0 • view
"There is a lid for every pot."
aug 14, 2025, 3:41 pm • 41 0 • view
I wish my Tupperware cupboard subscribed to this theory
aug 14, 2025, 9:06 pm • 21 0 • view
referring to mismatched plastic tubs as "incelware" from now on
aug 15, 2025, 12:41 am • 2 0 • view
I'm stealing this.
aug 15, 2025, 1:44 pm • 2 0 • view
Awww... well, all I need is a couple hours, some Sativa, and fat permanent marker, and I got you. Organization (for others) brings me joy.
aug 14, 2025, 9:08 pm • 8 0 • view
Permanent marker is a good idea. I might try that, thanks!
aug 14, 2025, 9:09 pm • 5 0 • view
Top of the lid, bottom of the container, et voila! Sometimes, I get motivated enough to organize by color, even.
aug 14, 2025, 9:18 pm • 7 0 • view
Works for me. If you aren't going to even try to be a reasonable, functional person, die salty and alone. 🤷🏼♀️
aug 14, 2025, 7:50 pm • 5 0 • view
Fucking A
aug 14, 2025, 10:13 pm • 2 0 • view
That’s nice, please face the wall
aug 2, 2025, 6:54 pm • 21 0 • view
Man shut the fuck up
aug 14, 2025, 3:49 pm • 3 0 • view
Thanks for more data for my study on the correlation between misogyny & functional illiteracy.
aug 2, 2025, 2:20 pm • 199 5 • view
This reply should be hanging in an art gallery
aug 14, 2025, 7:26 pm • 8 0 • view
No, what we're saying is James Frost should chug piss about it
aug 15, 2025, 6:44 pm • 0 0 • view
Ugly people find romantic love. Stupid people find romantic love. Awkward people find romantic love. Boring people find romantic love. Poor people find romantic love. Unhealthy people find romantic love. Being a hateful dumpster fire of a human being isn't the same thing as being "not privileged."
aug 14, 2025, 5:30 pm • 61 0 • view
For all this talk above how men “have to be” 6’2’’ and look like models, when I go to the park I see a lot of average-looking guys hanging out and being happy with their families. They can’t all be secret multi-millionaires.
aug 15, 2025, 1:19 am • 11 0 • view
In one
aug 14, 2025, 2:24 pm • 0 0 • view
You do realize that what you're really saying is "Ooh, I'm a stinky little chowder boy! The only thing that does it for me is eating stinky little bowls of stinky old chowder!" Right? You do realize that, right? That this is what you really said?
aug 14, 2025, 12:41 am • 96 0 • view
Hey, leave chowder the fuck out of this. What did milk based soup every do to you?
aug 14, 2025, 1:36 pm • 51 0 • view
"it's basically a savory latte with bugs in it"
aug 14, 2025, 2:20 pm • 71 1 • view
God, i was trying to remember that line.
aug 14, 2025, 2:36 pm • 27 0 • view
"it's just hot ocean milk with dead animal croutons!"
aug 14, 2025, 3:57 pm • 39 0 • view
I'll have you know that I make a chowder that brings all the ladies to the yard. 😏
aug 14, 2025, 9:39 pm • 4 0 • view
Probably one of my all time favorite sitcom episodes ever. The montage of comical restaurant names is pure gold I wish I could dive into like Scrooge McDuck.
aug 14, 2025, 7:26 pm • 0 0 • view
Sushi & the Banshees.
aug 14, 2025, 7:31 pm • 1 0 • view
Beignet and the Jets
aug 14, 2025, 7:32 pm • 1 0 • view
What is it from?
aug 14, 2025, 5:06 pm • 1 0 • view
The Good Place.
aug 14, 2025, 5:13 pm • 3 0 • view
Skill issue bro
aug 14, 2025, 4:15 pm • 2 0 • view
Yes.
aug 3, 2025, 10:28 pm • 8 0 • view
Yes. But actually I'll go further. NO ONE IS EVER OWED ROMANTIC LOVE. That's not something you are entitled to. That's something you earn by building a relationship with another person.
aug 14, 2025, 5:28 pm • 49 0 • view
Romantic love *cannot* be owed, it cannot be rendered out of obligation, because that is not what romantic love *is*. You can never be satisfied so long as you desire a contradiction that can never be.
aug 14, 2025, 6:04 pm • 11 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love, you lunatic.
aug 14, 2025, 5:18 pm • 2 0 • view
i am saying "Straight men are not owed romantic love, and should resign themselves to being alone forever if they aren't privileged enough to meet a standard of social acceptability." thst standard isn't one of a particular type of looks or fitness: it's a standard of not being a dick
aug 14, 2025, 9:22 pm • 1 0 • view
this is also how it is for women
aug 15, 2025, 6:09 am • 0 0 • view
Yes you are not owed romantic love just because you exist. If you choose to not change and grow as a person, that’s very much a you decision. And not changing may find you a sense of love you want but if it hasn’t yet, then pretty crazy to keep on the same path.
aug 14, 2025, 4:41 pm • 1 0 • view
Maybe guys who view romantic love as something they are "owed" are the ones we should stay far the fuck away from.
aug 14, 2025, 11:28 pm • 0 0 • view
There's a saying in Brazil: "Buceta não é item de cesta básica". It can be translated roughly to "Pussy is not a welfare service".
aug 14, 2025, 3:06 pm • 294 55 • view
Writing this one down
aug 14, 2025, 5:03 pm • 23 0 • view
Not being a self-ish douche canoe is a pretty low bar. It doesn't take privilege to be an empathetic, kind, and curious person. Maybe be funny. And yeah, you are not *owed* anything from anyone else. You earn it.
aug 14, 2025, 6:27 pm • 4 0 • view
I'm saying that.
aug 14, 2025, 3:30 pm • 25 0 • view
TIL bothering to bathe all your bits regularly, and treat other people with respect is "privilege"🫠
aug 14, 2025, 4:09 pm • 23 0 • view
They think we want a 7ft mute with a trust fund when all we want is to not be treated like a sex vending machine by a man with cheese on his balls.
aug 14, 2025, 4:12 pm • 32 1 • view
I'm dying
aug 14, 2025, 6:02 pm • 3 0 • view
Straight women aren't owed romantic love, either. You don't have to be privileged to be a straight man people enjoy being around. You have to *listen* to what people say, laugh at their jokes, have some common interests. Straight women are people, and want a guy who's good company.
aug 14, 2025, 4:21 pm • 11 0 • view
Sense of humor optional but very much enjoyed. I’ve always joked I married the hub because he got my jokes. (Not entirely, but it was definitely a factor. Laughing at my jokes requires listening to me.
aug 14, 2025, 6:37 pm • 3 0 • view
Exactly.
aug 14, 2025, 6:51 pm • 1 0 • view
And mine are pretty convoluted, so knowing my interests and so forth helps. I once asked him what color I was wearing when we met. We were twelve at the time, so it was all forgiven if he didn’t know. But he did! Forty years later. My god where does the time go.
aug 14, 2025, 7:08 pm • 5 0 • view
That’s not what privilege is. It’s also not a problem that only men have. Plenty of women can’t find a romantic partner. But it’s not turned into a societal crisis when women are lonely, only when men are. Also, what are you proposing? Government mandated girlfriends?
aug 14, 2025, 12:58 pm • 132 5 • view
Right!? Like we have hundreds of years of language used to mock woman who can’t find love. Spinsters, cat ladies, etc.
aug 14, 2025, 5:02 pm • 44 1 • view
aug 15, 2025, 10:58 am • 5 0 • view
Pretty much. When women are lonely it’s a personal failing. When men are lonely it’s ’the male loneliness epidemic’ and we as a society need to do something about it.
aug 15, 2025, 7:58 am • 2 0 • view
And why are cat ladies so vilified in our culture? My wife describes herself as "a cat lady who also happens to have a husband hanging around" 😎
aug 14, 2025, 9:38 pm • 15 0 • view
Don't forget random lesbiphobic assumption, that's my favorite
aug 15, 2025, 12:50 am • 2 0 • view
Why would you be owed romantic love? I’m asking sincerely. I want to understand this thinking.
aug 14, 2025, 5:16 pm • 7 0 • view
Noone is ‘owed’ romantic love. Thats ridiculous. To earn it you really should meet a basic level of acceptability (not that it seems to stop some) but it hardly requires privilege. Regular washing and not being an arsehole will probably do the trick.
aug 14, 2025, 3:28 pm • 3 0 • view
correct, nobody is owed romantic love and if they are unwilling to do the bare ass minimum of “not being a dick” they should in fact resign themselves to being alone forever, because nobody wants to be with a huge asshole
aug 2, 2025, 4:11 pm • 34 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love you weirdo
aug 15, 2025, 3:00 pm • 0 0 • view
Meeting a standard of social acceptability is a choice, not a privilege, dummy
aug 14, 2025, 1:07 pm • 12 0 • view
No. See also: no one is. Socially skilled women and men with a range of job types and education levels who are beautiful AND young may pull eyes but they get dumped and left to grieve and wonder if they’ll ever meet anyone or be valued, just like you. Everyone gets lonely and left. No exceptions.
aug 14, 2025, 6:14 pm • 4 0 • view
The thing that makes some straight men different is they fail to understand this truth, and have the entitled nerve to challenge it on “straight man” social grounds, not having any idea that it applies to literally everyone. Or they do, and cry “misandry!” to lay groundwork for female subjugation.
aug 14, 2025, 6:14 pm • 5 0 • view
Which one are you?
aug 14, 2025, 6:14 pm • 2 0 • view
bro nobody is owed companionship you dont earn that shit like its the 12 sandwich at a subway what… you want a slave wife?
aug 15, 2025, 11:54 am • 1 0 • view
Yes. You are not owed anyone. No matter how entitled you feel to other people's bodies and time.
aug 14, 2025, 3:00 pm • 19 0 • view
Oh for fuck's sake, dude.
aug 14, 2025, 8:05 pm • 3 0 • view
I don’t know that I’d call “being pleasant and considerate” a privilege
aug 14, 2025, 5:00 pm • 16 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love you fucking nitwit
aug 14, 2025, 5:05 pm • 1 0 • view
There's the option of becoming better people
aug 14, 2025, 5:16 pm • 4 0 • view
Straight men aren't actually "owed" romantic love any more than anyone else is. And, actually, yeah... if you can't meet a (bare minimum) standard of social acceptability (like "don't be a creep and blame women for your problems and maybe try to be a decent human being), then resign to being alone.
aug 14, 2025, 6:53 pm • 11 0 • view
You aren’t “owed” shit James. This is why you can’t get laid. You’re a trash human.
aug 14, 2025, 8:39 pm • 12 0 • view
Men aren't owed ANYTHING. Do you realize that's a fact? If a man can't build himself into something marketable it's on HIM. Be single, it isn't the end of the fucking world.
aug 14, 2025, 4:55 pm • 12 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love
aug 14, 2025, 5:57 pm • 4 0 • view
You do realize that everything after the comma was added by you and not at all what she said! 😳🤦🏼♀️
aug 14, 2025, 4:10 pm • 6 0 • view
They are not owed romantic love, which means if they’re having trouble, they may have to examine (a) their behavior, (b) the type of person they expect to be with, or (c) where they live
aug 14, 2025, 3:09 pm • 4 0 • view
She might not be saying that but I agree with you. Men are owed shit
aug 15, 2025, 5:09 pm • 0 0 • view
even removing the misogyny, you are still saying "i shouldn't have to be socially acceptable in order to be accepted socially"
aug 14, 2025, 6:27 pm • 20 0 • view
I am pretty sure she does know she's saying that nobody is owed romantic love. Romantic love requires a willing partner so if you want it you have to find a way to elicit desire in the people you wish to receive romantic love from. If you're a cishet guy, that means women. It's not rocket science.
aug 14, 2025, 4:47 pm • 0 0 • view
Are we constructing “not being a dickhead privilege”
aug 14, 2025, 8:02 pm • 4 0 • view
The standard of Social acceptability=treating the women you want to spend your life with with respect.
aug 15, 2025, 8:58 am • 0 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love. You should resign yourself to being alone forever if you cannot even manage the bare minimum of decency, respect and kindness. It doesn't take privilege. It takes EFFORT. Privilege is expecting love even when you're acting like an asshole.
aug 15, 2025, 1:37 am • 11 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love, you entitled sociopath
aug 14, 2025, 5:07 pm • 11 0 • view
As one whose sexuality and marriage were literally banned, I think you seriously need to get over this cartoonish self-pity.
aug 14, 2025, 5:55 pm • 17 0 • view
1/ The only way anyone can be "owed" anything is if someone else is "obliged" to provide/produce/pay the thing that is "owed" to the first person. Since straight women are NOT obliged to provide romantic love to anybody, it follows that if a given straight man CANNOT manage to meet (cont)
aug 15, 2025, 4:46 pm • 0 0 • view
2/ the minimum standards of social acceptability of at least one straight woman, then yes, that particular straight man SHOULD resign himself to being alone forever. However, just as men have varying standards for what makes a woman attractive to them, women also have varying standards.
aug 15, 2025, 4:46 pm • 0 0 • view
3/ But, as a straight woman, I'll share that for MOST straight women, one of our MINIMUM standards for social acceptability is that the man we are considering must NOT give off even a hint of a vibe that he thinks we "owe" him romantic love. That is the kiss of death to a romantic relationship.
aug 15, 2025, 4:46 pm • 0 0 • view
If Rose isn't saying it I will. You aren't OWED anything. Read that again, read it as many times as it takes. It has nothing to do with "social acceptability" and everything to do with attitude and behaviour. And I don't think the attitude you're displaying here is very attractive to most women.
aug 14, 2025, 4:31 pm • 4 0 • view
They don't have to meet "a standard of social acceptibility". They have to meet the standards of a romantic partner who is free and empowered to reject someone they find unacceptable. People shouldn't be forced to be with someone they don't want to be with
aug 14, 2025, 6:09 pm • 2 0 • view
The first part is true. Because no one is "owed" romantic love. The second part is gaslighting on your part. No one is saying men need to be "privileged enough" to meet a social standard of "acceptability." We're saying many of you are rape-y selfish women hating assholes. Stop doing that.
aug 14, 2025, 4:44 pm • 21 0 • view
Pretty sure that’s how it works for people in general, with “straight men” being a subset of “people” but what the heck do I know.
aug 14, 2025, 3:34 pm • 6 0 • view
This is the weakest shit. Not one person is "owed" anything romantic from any person. You have to be decent for people to think you're decent. If this is a problem for you it doesn't mean it's a problem for everyone.
aug 14, 2025, 5:12 pm • 30 1 • view
NO ONE IS OWED ROMANTIC LOVE. Seek therapy.
aug 14, 2025, 4:33 pm • 1 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love or sex.
aug 14, 2025, 7:52 pm • 5 0 • view
You do realize that none of us is owed anything, yes?
aug 14, 2025, 4:42 pm • 4 0 • view
Yes. It is a very simple concept.
aug 14, 2025, 4:30 pm • 4 0 • view
Or, you know, you could learn to talk to a woman.
aug 14, 2025, 6:00 pm • 2 0 • view
Skill issue. Git gud. And respect the autonomy of others, you huge fucking loser.
aug 14, 2025, 4:09 pm • 3 0 • view
Also? The kind of "social acceptability" you're almost certainly talking about isn't an unchangeable innate property. It's not being a shithead. And anyone is free to stop being a shithead any time they choose. It's perfectly fine to reject shitheads.
aug 14, 2025, 3:07 pm • 3 1 • view
you do realIs that "privileged enough to meet a standard of social acceptability" means "having a woman accept you" as a necessary precondition for that woman to be intimate with you? Like, fucking YES, you incredible creep. You don't get issued love; you need to earn it.
aug 14, 2025, 1:49 pm • 71 0 • view
Who told you it takes some special privilege to meet social acceptability and that it is not something attainable by all?
aug 14, 2025, 5:26 pm • 11 0 • view
Take a fuckin shower and don't be an asshole. That will solve a huge amount of problems in general!
aug 14, 2025, 3:16 pm • 6 0 • view
That is a true statement. The bar for social acceptability is so incredibly low one has to *try* to trip over it.
aug 14, 2025, 3:20 pm • 8 0 • view
No one, straight or gay or whatever, is *owed* anything; no one *deserves* anything despite what general culture would want us believe.
aug 14, 2025, 4:24 pm • 3 0 • view
my dude the standard is not that fucking high
aug 14, 2025, 8:19 pm • 10 0 • view
There basically isn’t one and this guy is crying that he doesn’t even want to try to step over it
aug 14, 2025, 8:33 pm • 6 0 • view
How is being a nice person who treats women with respect and dignity some sort of privilege? You think you have to be hot, ripped, rich to get a woman. That’s just stupid and has never been true! Plenty of chubby, not hot guys with basic jobs have wives and girlfriends because they are decent guys!
aug 14, 2025, 2:07 pm • 5 0 • view
chubby, not hot guy here, can confirm
aug 14, 2025, 8:23 pm • 1 0 • view
Being a decent person matters so much more than anything else!
aug 14, 2025, 11:02 pm • 2 0 • view
I don't even have to read what you are reply to in order to agree. Men are not "owed" romantic love. And if a man can not conduct himself in with a standard of social acceptability, then he shouldn't be able to get laid. Wanna get laid? Be someone that someone would want to sleep with.
aug 14, 2025, 9:36 pm • 7 1 • view
Are you trying to argue that straight men are owed romantic love? Is that your for real argument?
aug 15, 2025, 4:36 am • 0 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 12:21 pm • 24 0 • view
JMFC, who raised you, dude? You want romantic love? Try cultivating some interests, be a decent person, and stop walking around like you're owed anything.
aug 14, 2025, 10:36 pm • 1 0 • view
Yes. If a dude cannot "meet a social standard of acceptability" which means act like a decent person and not be a creepy weirdo predator, then yes they should resign themselves to being alone. OR... They could try to FIX themselves! Stop listening to the manosphere and listen to women and be normal!
aug 14, 2025, 1:49 pm • 8 1 • view
I mean, women are not owed women, either. Men are not owed men. Dragonkin are not owed catboys. Orange is not soup. Most people eventually end up in a romantic relationship, some do not, the reasons are not always fair, but it is true that no one is *owed* a relationship.
aug 14, 2025, 1:52 pm • 55 1 • view
You do realize that's the standard every other demographic of human has had to meet to get romantic love. Except change the word "privileged" to "decent", but yeah, that's exactly what we're saying. Get over yourself, straight dudes!
aug 14, 2025, 8:18 pm • 0 0 • view
This is literally the message women have received since time immemorial. You're upset about losing your image of yourself as a buyer and us as products.
aug 14, 2025, 4:03 pm • 13 0 • view
The "standard of social acceptability" is literally, "Wash your ass, don't go out in clothes featuring anime characters, treat women like human beings, and have a personality trait more interesting than 'I know the name of every character in the cantina scene from Star Wars.'"
aug 2, 2025, 5:37 pm • 30 2 • view
some of these things are not like the others, Sean. i wear anime shirts and I'm a proud trekker and I've never had a problem getting laid because i do the other two things you named. you don't need to be a dick to nerds to make your point.
aug 3, 2025, 2:02 pm • 121 1 • view
Got there before i did.
aug 14, 2025, 1:34 pm • 14 0 • view
And plenty of nerd girls (like me) find nerd guys (like my hubs) attractive as hell. As long as your geek interests match up, it works.
aug 14, 2025, 8:37 pm • 3 0 • view
even if they don't. my partner and I came from different geek interests and now we both have double-geek interests!!!
aug 14, 2025, 8:38 pm • 3 0 • view
Tbf some people are into the anime shirts and Star Wars trivia lol
aug 14, 2025, 5:08 pm • 2 0 • view
So I SHOULDN'T wear my vintage Gourry Gabriev t-shirt?
aug 14, 2025, 7:37 pm • 0 0 • view
Lots of nerds out there finding love w each other. Maybe rethink all but your first point
aug 15, 2025, 1:31 pm • 0 0 • view
If you take the contrary position, that straight men *are* owed romantic love, then the inescapable question is: who? Who owes them that? Who is required to satisfy this obligation, and what penalty do they incur if they renege? I bet you don't have an answer you're willing to say out loud.
aug 14, 2025, 9:49 pm • 17 0 • view
You don’t view women as fellow humans but as an object you “deserve”
aug 14, 2025, 12:58 pm • 71 0 • view
They are not owed romantic love. What they do with that info is up to them.
aug 14, 2025, 4:16 pm • 3 0 • view
"Meet a standard of social acceptability." That's right. If you can't be bothered to meet a minimum standard of being clean and polite, you will be alone. You want romantic love? Try joining society.
aug 14, 2025, 5:08 pm • 48 0 • view
….Do you think you’re *owed* romantic love?
aug 14, 2025, 3:16 pm • 13 0 • view
Brother. Yes. Same as for anyone else lol
aug 14, 2025, 4:46 pm • 10 0 • view
No one is owed romantic love you creepy weirdo.
aug 14, 2025, 2:28 pm • 18 0 • view
maybe you should get some friends first :(
aug 14, 2025, 1:55 pm • 2 0 • view
Wrong on multiple levels but I'll just point out the lame conflating of sex and romantic love. They're not the same thing!
aug 14, 2025, 3:48 pm • 5 0 • view
Get the fuck out of here with this bull shiiiiit
aug 14, 2025, 1:55 pm • 2 0 • view
lmao
aug 14, 2025, 12:42 pm • 1 0 • view
Hey loser, keep losing
aug 15, 2025, 1:26 pm • 0 0 • view
You little baby. Grow the fuck up
aug 2, 2025, 5:30 pm • 5 0 • view
It's privilege that makes men think they deserve to possess women in this way It's privilege that makes men think that nothing less than total dedication to them could ever be good enough It's privilege that means you can't trust people unless you have power over them
aug 14, 2025, 2:24 pm • 14 0 • view
It is not that those who do not seek this are already in possession of it. It is that some of us did not learn to expect or demand it.
aug 14, 2025, 3:36 pm • 4 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 6:21 pm • 1 0 • view
Yes. That is exactly what we are all saying. Straight men are not owed romantic love. Not owed attention and not owed anything. Learn to respect people and rise up to meet the standard of social acceptability or die alone.
aug 14, 2025, 4:56 pm • 24 2 • view
where the fuck would you get the idea that anyone is owed romantic love
aug 14, 2025, 5:46 pm • 6 0 • view
Yeah actually nobody is owed romantic love. Like, who do you think owes you, and why?
aug 14, 2025, 1:03 pm • 28 0 • view
You say that as if it’s unreasonable.
aug 15, 2025, 3:12 am • 3 0 • view
If you were owed it, it wouldn’t be “romantic love” now would it?
aug 14, 2025, 3:16 pm • 13 0 • view
You don't need to be "privileged" not to be a fucking asshole, James.
aug 14, 2025, 3:19 pm • 4 0 • view
Women will tell you that Danny Devito is a catch. That standard is achievable.
aug 15, 2025, 1:57 am • 2 0 • view
I mean, he is rich and famous.
aug 15, 2025, 4:54 pm • 0 0 • view
Read that first clause. Who exactly is *owed* romantic love, and why? Are there sexuality/gender combinations who DO receive unconditional romantic love, as a unified class, with no exceptions?
aug 14, 2025, 9:04 pm • 2 0 • view
Just popped by to add my voice to the chorus saying "Yes, James, I really will say straight men are not owed romantic love, and should resign themselves to being alone forever if they aren't" trying to make themselves better people. Do you think you're owed someone's time and attention? or sex?
aug 14, 2025, 11:37 pm • 3 0 • view
Because WOW, Jimmy, that a bizarre belief! NO ONE owes you time or attention, and certainly not forced "love." Work on yourself, stop being such a selfish POS, don't act like you're owed attention, those 3 things alone might cause someone to want to talk to you.
aug 14, 2025, 11:37 pm • 1 0 • view
What I'm saying is "No man is owed romantic love, and they should all stop thinking that women must be forced to lower their standards for their incel asses." Love isn't a transaction, you fucking weirdo.
aug 14, 2025, 4:19 pm • 10 1 • view
And I would support this statement. All of it. ✊🏼
aug 14, 2025, 4:24 pm • 1 0 • view
That is absolutely right, you aren’t owed anything. If people find you off putting fix that.
aug 14, 2025, 1:41 pm • 13 0 • view
even if they are, in fact. nobody's "owed" romantic love. framing it in terms of deserts misunderstands the whole thing.
aug 14, 2025, 12:57 pm • 20 0 • view
Nobody is. And that "standard of social acceptability" is basically "Don't be an asshole and also bathe regularly." None of this is difficult.
aug 15, 2025, 1:30 pm • 0 0 • view
“In order to receive kindness, acceptance, social grace, and perhaps romantic love I have to be a decent person?! INJUSTICE!” — you.
aug 2, 2025, 1:35 pm • 394 7 • view
NEW ECONOMIC THEORY JUST DROPPED: privilege is when being a decent person disadvantaged is when i view women as things that must love and fuck me even tho i act like an antisocial shitass to everyone around me
aug 14, 2025, 6:00 pm • 45 3 • view
A good portion of the male loneliness epidemic is just women choosing not to spend time with men who hate women and men refusing to make or be better friends to each other.
aug 14, 2025, 6:38 pm • 74 6 • view
I’m not unsympathetic when I hear men say things like “I’ve never received a single compliment in my life.” That’s sad! But it’s also not fair to blame only 50% of the compliment giving population. Build up your bros! Start with platonic connections before jumping into the intimacy deep end.
aug 14, 2025, 11:07 pm • 1 0 • view
How many compliments do THEY give other men?
aug 15, 2025, 10:57 am • 0 0 • view
it’s privilege if you’re a good friend tho :( i can’t do it bc i don’t have the social means to not be up my own ass all of the time
aug 14, 2025, 6:53 pm • 12 0 • view
It’s the same argument as the folks who think making “AI” “art” is their right because otherwise how would they, an untalented person, make art?
aug 14, 2025, 8:27 pm • 16 0 • view
they’ll be like “i have Long Suffered” and the suffering is just that their math teacher told them to stop watching family guy clips in class
aug 14, 2025, 9:13 pm • 16 0 • view
What always surprises me is that you don't see many bi men pulling this incel nonsense, and they face actual prejudice when dating.
aug 15, 2025, 12:25 am • 6 0 • view
feels like bi men are obviously okay w their attraction to men, so they don’t resent women. i feel like a lot of “straight” men actually struggle with accepting their own homoerotic attraction, and they project this onto women. misogyny oftentimes feels like wanting other men’s attention
aug 15, 2025, 1:05 am • 7 0 • view
(to clarify i’m not saying all misogynists are also queer. but i am suspicious that many of them are.)
aug 15, 2025, 1:06 am • 4 0 • view
Cool . The bit I was refering to was that out bi guys often talk about how one of the things you have to get used to is that a lot of straight women won't date bi men (queer women are a different story) But the most bi men tend to do in response is comment on biphobia, not become raging mysogynists
aug 15, 2025, 3:33 am • 7 0 • view
Problem is that too many men think they are (or should be) privileged enough so as not to need to meet a standard of social acceptability and that they are owed love and even worship just for being men.
aug 14, 2025, 8:02 pm • 4 0 • view
If only there were ways to make oneself more socially acceptable Oh well, can't think of anything, might as well become a fascist about it
aug 14, 2025, 2:57 pm • 12 0 • view
What does “owed” mean in this context? *Who* owes it to you? How would this theoretical entitlement be fulfilled in the event that no woman, as an human being with individual rights and autonomy, has interest in being romantically involved with you?
aug 14, 2025, 2:24 pm • 13 0 • view
“Owed romantic love” is very careful wording that tries to obfuscate that you think women should be forced into relationships with men. There’s no way to satisfy a straight man’s so-called “right” to romantic love without that, it is fundamental to the premise & no amount of obfuscation changes that
aug 14, 2025, 2:31 pm • 11 0 • view
No one is 'owed romantic love', James, but I'll guarantee that plenty of people less 'privileged' than you will find it. And plenty more will happily find equally valid ways of living happily/relationships of other kinds.
aug 14, 2025, 6:14 pm • 4 0 • view
"privileged" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
aug 14, 2025, 10:48 pm • 5 0 • view
why would anyone be owed another person, people aren't objects, that's not how anything works jim
aug 14, 2025, 7:29 pm • 25 1 • view
Do you have to love every straight woman who thinks she's good enough for you as is? Does any man?
aug 14, 2025, 12:43 pm • 42 0 • view
How are you defining "privilege"?
aug 14, 2025, 11:45 pm • 0 0 • view
Um… yes?
aug 14, 2025, 2:04 pm • 2 0 • view
I mean, yeah, I'm fine with that. If no one likes you, that sucks, maybe you should work on yourself. People's standards aren't impossible to meet.
aug 14, 2025, 3:16 pm • 14 0 • view
They aren'
aug 14, 2025, 5:00 pm • 1 0 • view
>Privileged Dude, showering regularly, actually listening to people you intend to court, and learning to treat people like peers isn't privilege it's "being nice to be around" 101. Stop treating women like a type of vending machine that puts sex out for money in and you'll have fantastic results.
aug 14, 2025, 3:39 pm • 5 0 • view
Yes, that is the human condition for everyone, regardless of gender or sexuality.
aug 14, 2025, 1:45 pm • 23 1 • view
My brother in Christ, we literally have an entire show where folks find love with conditions that create huge social challenges for them. The guys routinely find long-term partners on the show. They put in large amounts of effort to overcome those challenges and find love.
aug 14, 2025, 3:17 pm • 5 0 • view