maybe controversh of me but i think the whole “your feelings are valid” stuff was ultimately really damaging. sometimes your feelings aren’t valid and you’re being fucking crazy and you need to check that and fix it instead of placating yourself and continuing bad behaviors/coping mechanisms
You get the general idea, but you are probably misunderstanding one thing: when people say that your feelings are valid, they are not trying to condition you to accept or absorb them into you.
The message is to show you that your feelings exist, that you should not run from them, but instead you need to learn to process them. It is not about behaviors, but feelings. Anger, anguish, frustration, loneliness, depression.
Like a symptom for a bigger thing, feelings should not be ignored, or diminished, this is the central idea of the "your feelings are valid", at least is what I interpret it.
well I can understand that *now* but it really truly felt like a “get out of jail free” card for some people, using it to refuse to change behaviors/become stagnant
while not everyone was doing that, sure, it felt like a lot of people *were* and the original message (which was powerful and needed) got bastardized into something else entirely unfortunately
it really got twisted out of the original concept didn't it :/ the whole point was to acknowledge what you felt was both real and part of the human experience... not this blanket permission bullshit to act on a whim with 0 repercussions in response to what you did
It very much did become get out jail free card, and an echo chamber. I was deff guilty of being one of those bobble heads nodding "yes, poor you." The first time sure yes valid, but we got carried away with everytime without reprocussion for sure. We used each other as terrible free thearpy.
Directing people to take care of their mental health is such a battle in itself. So many excuses, even for ourselves. But we have to stop using our friends like that. Its not healthy. Find the therapist right for you, you don't have to settle for the first one. So much to say about this topic, lol
I have a tendency to overthink things hardcore. When I feel like this is happening, I go to my closer friends and ask if I'm being crazy about something or if it's actually a thing they see as well in a situation. Sadly, about half the time, I'm just overthinking. I'm glad I have people who tell me.
sure whatever we have the space to talk about it now which is great, but talking in an echo chamber instead of challenging yourself only does so much. idk. sometimes YOU are the problem and only you can fix that, it’s bad that we’re perpetuating this idea that you can NEVER be the problem
you’re either going to struggle to make a better life for yourself or struggle with unchecked mental illness and im picking the one that ends with a better me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry