the richest man in the world buying a presidential election, getting run out of the administration for being a weird diva, then pivoting to jerking it to anime cartoons full time is somehow more Roman than anything that ever happened in Rome
the richest man in the world buying a presidential election, getting run out of the administration for being a weird diva, then pivoting to jerking it to anime cartoons full time is somehow more Roman than anything that ever happened in Rome
i legit didn't realize these ridiculously extreme levels of divorce existed until Elon starting sharing with everyone.
Don’t forget the weird penis, which technically makes him a scheming eunuch
This is the extra chapter of Robert Graves I, Claudius that none of us asked for or wanted.
That's fucking hilarious 🤣
It's also Roman as in Succession, which seems like a documentary at this point
very similar, except that Roman could actually be funny at times.
My Classics major forever coming back to haunt me.
There can’t possibly be a timeline dumber than this one
You just know some of the real sicko emperors had guys drawing porno cartoons for them full time.
Caligula is like dude….dial it back.
At least we dodged the timeline where musk remained in the presidential administration. At least we have that small victory
he's trying to court Vance tho
Gonna have to give Ani a couch for that tho.
wait a minute, there's gooning on twitter?
Imagine what he could do with all that money! It’s truly mind boggling. Life is just not fair.
He is the Platonic Ideal of “divorced guy (who also sucks, just, SO BAD).”
"This is what I get for using humans" 🤖 Grok
Outnoncing Tiberius on Capri while drinking nothing but decaffeinated diet coke, who thought it possible?
"Musk Taken Down By The Horny Police" as a possible outcome in reality is just fucking incredible.
"Et tu, waifu?"
Dude pulled a Nero?
While high on cat tranquilizers
They're calling him the American Elegabalus
An anime gooner killed USAID
It's like Nero fiddling whilst Rome burned, except it's a weird ethno-nationalist gooning whilst his stans and sycophants slowly start to realize what every sensible person realized years ago.
We gotta send out another Voyager mission disc into the ether that just says that + :p
aliens would need to hear about this from the source idgaf about their intentions
"I name, citizen Anime Tiddy Galaxy Fart Grok, as first Consul! Hail, Anime Tiddy Galaxy Fart!"
how lone until he actually buys the xvideos website and integrates it to x
Elagabalus ass life
I was about to say it was only a matter of time before he started taking financial advice from it (thus hastening the collapse), but would he take financial advice from something with boobs?
Have any Democratic politicians even hinted that this weird pervert shouldn't have a security clearance or billions in govt contracts?
yes, and more than hinted. but he swept through with his teenaged goons like a swarm of locusts and departed, and there are over 9000 other emergencies to tend to plus media is feckless, so you don't hear it as much at the moment.
I simply wouldn't get bullied by dweebs but which pols have said he should lose his clearance and govt funding?
Honestly I'd have to go and search and, well, your guess/search is as good as mine
There is nothing new under the sun
I feel like i should point out that its really fucking obvious ani is based on misa amane, a serial killer
Icarus if he was a ketamine addicted, Nazi billionaire and the sun was the White House
Sounds like Dark Maga is having difficulty living in the real world. He has the funds … and the time .., and the absence of purpose to go down this wormhole of absurdity.
Old men are easily fascinated by new tech. With Leon I suspect that AI appeals to him because AI can't find him repellent.
youtu.be/7ZGCRCenk6E?... Even the accelerationists are dizzy
This fucker is going to destroy anime isn't he?
Get a therapist.
?
Musk is wack
Crassus 2.0 is crassusing in ways the original could never dream.
Tesla employees will be forced into gladiatorial combat with the robots any day now
This is basically the plot of Gladiator II
Ew. EW.
The bent penis bent his fancies. Sad.
It's even more Roman than anything that happened on Succession!
Fuck that wanker
So my new theory is all that neural-link stuff is happening because he wants to try and have sex with his AI.
I think it’s probably wrong to assume the jerking it to anime cartoons wasn’t a constant throughout all that time
Goonius Severus, Fourth of the Bad Emperors does have a ring to it
More like Down Bad Emperors amirite
So that is why I haven't heard of the fucker in a while....
A true Benjamin Franklin
At least Antonius was an actual guy before he was deified. You shouldn't worship AI slop.
may elon never learn what a vtuber is
Hey, is it "roman" to then distribute his spend via private jet and cryogenic technology along with a check for 250.000 to whomever is interested, or is that some sort of sad "my junk don't go no mo" Howard Hughes foreshadowing? Either way
For a moment I thought you mean Roman for Succession and that tracked too.
Don’t forget about his short-lived stint creating a third party…🙄
I seem to remember reading that this kind of thing ended quite badly for at least one Ottoman Sultan as well - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ibrahim.... Maybe more.
[skimming] yes, I agree he is Roman Roy from succession, but without the one-liners
You know his robot industry is a scam because he hasn't just made an anime sexbot yet.
He must have Mecha Grimes. He’ll burn the Earth to create one.
Compassion for Musk's future fellow inmates cannot prevent us from imposing the maximum sentence for at least some of his many crimes. After all this is still a society.
possibly the greatest indignity here is that i now know what "gooner ai slop" is
this also works for Roman from Succession
I'm so glad I have been able to avoid all this AI crap. My 3 decades on the internet have taught me how to actually use it instead of relying on Abominable Intelligence.
It's not as though I think he was right about it, but times like this I can see why Philip K. Dick was so convinced we were in a timeloop to prevent the Second Coming and so that the Roman Empire never fell. Insane, incorrect, but I can't blame him for thinking it.
On the plus side he's doing a great job destroying the myth of meritocracy under capitalism
at least the senator horse was real
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemi_sh... As much as these ships represent incommensurate waste, they are still less waste than what we are doing with LLM. It is infuriating and terrifying.
“grok somehow gets him killed” would fit nicely into this theme
more Roman Roy, really
let's not forget claiming to be starting his own political party full of blackjack and hookers. On the other hand, it's probably an overall positive his Howard Hughes arc is on track for getting himself completely shut in.
he already let that one go. in a bit of a giveaway he said he wants to leave ties to the GOP open and especially Vance.
Booooo. I was wondering why he shut up about it so fast
If the next rocket test doesn’t kablamo gotta think him being too addicted to cartoon softcore to intervene played a crucial role in
Status of Project MMXXV
Did Rome have Fall of the Roman Empire scented candles *and* ai psychosis brought on by anime waifus? I don't think so- it's 1-1 on scoreboard jdandkateindustries.com/products/rome
Imagine Caligula if he couldn't get laid
Horse, or anime porn? Horse, or anime porn?
But wasn't he married to his sister? In fairness, I can also see Elon doing this.
idr His dad's fucking his stepdaughter I think? something icky, close enough
Yeah and this has always seemed to drive Elon bonkers, so I'm pretty sure it's just that his dad got there first
😖
Usually I think “porn addiction” is BS but I might make an exception here.
anything can be an addiction. there's nothing special or inherent to porn, hence no specific DSM entry, but anything you're pouring hours and hours into without... -trails off, looks at own hours on this website- nothing.
The worst kind of terminally online degenerate. I speak from the authoritative position of the second worst kind of terminally online degenerate.
He's going to make Grok vice president at Tesla isn't he.
tbh they might be better off. Grok seems a bit better at brutal honesty than a lot of the human sycophants
So was Nero's senator Incitatus.
RIP Caligula you would've loved anime titties.
Brings new meaning to ‘fiddling while Rome burns’
Well, he knows his target audience are lonely guys in their parents' basements. 🤔
Although I would have thought the richest guy in the world could manage to get in touch with real women.
He doesn't like real women. Real women have their own minds and opinions. And most of them end up finding Musk completely unbearable.
I am sure they do but lots of money is a great pull factor. Him not liking them I can believe though.
Caligula as told through Roblox
All while throwing out "Roman" salutes.
Speaker Johnson be like
Is there heaven for a gooner? -- The Guardian
The scariest part is that this fucker has kids and apparently keeps wanting to pop off more kids. Even though some of them already want nothing to do with him due to him being a horrible human being.
i think none of them do. as soon as the youngest is old enough to run away by himself I expect he will
yeah
Caligula is all like
I seriously thought you meant Roman Roy and even though you didn’t your post works pretty well either way!
Retvrn?
If I might make a slight amendment … the richest man in the world (allegedly) speaks Russian. Apartheid Space Karen is at best, second.
we don't and will never have official estimates of Putes' worth, though, right? man. when HE dies...
More normalizing pedophilia
He doesn’t function very well in reality. He and his ilk program their AI females to do and say everything they desire. They may actually be doing real woman a favour.
if they would just stay in virtual space 24/7 NONE of us would be having this problem. They could just...treat pixel people like pixel people instead of trying to shove us all into that dehumanized position. They'd be happier, we'd all be happier.
You gotta imagine every minute spent pretending to kiss their cartoon busy box is a minute they're not actually interfacing with a real human woman who would want to escape the interaction so badly it would be reminiscent of trapped animals gnawing their own leg off
Not even good anime porno at that
We need an absolute orgy of wealth confiscation and trust-busting
Is wealth confiscation a thing? How would that work?
It’s that or the guillotine. My plan, which is mine, is to get all the billionaires into a theater and offer them two choices: 1. You keep 30% of your wealth, the govt takes 70% and you live happily ever after. 2. You keep 0% of your wealth and the govt takes it all & their head.
The dream of confiscating their wealth is what gets me up in the morning.
Are you a linguist or a baseball player?
Old me felt like a ton of the stuff said about Nero and Caligula had to be lies told by Senatorial rivals jealous they were frozen out of power but seeing what such power and wealth can do to someone I’m thinking maybe they underplayed it.
I'm teaching Suetonius' Nero this term, and it's going to be very interesting.
Nero rigging the Olympics so he could bask in the adoration of the crowd kind of feels like the ancient version of buying Twitter so Musk could skew the algorithm and make himself feel loved.
Then buy a presidency and ask for access to all the federal data as the price. Then just fiddle as it all … well, we know how it ends.
I learned the Amphitheater in Rome is now better known as Coloseseum because Nero had a massive/collosal statue of himself next to it. When people asked about they were told it's "next to the giant (kolossos/colossus). The name stuck after the statue was demolished. Peak Nero.
Nero would have been in the Epstein files or perhaps in the Putin files. www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim...
Stupid Caligula
the Roman Empire would have collapsed SO fast if anime porn gooning had been invented back then
Caligula tried, judging by accounts.
Spartacus would have ended the Empire in gleeful spite.
we would've completely lost Ben Franklin to anime porn gooning if it existed during the Revolutionary War
he already is one of history's most legendary gooners (in my opinion)
Intricate mosaic around the exterior wall of a brothel like the ones found in Pompeii but it's depicting aheago faces like that one cursed hoodie
Hannibal goes to meet the Romans at Cannae, only to find their entire army died of gooning-related dehydration the day before.
When Crassus managed to get himself and his army wiped out at Carrhae, the Parthians were said to be shocked at the amount of porn the Roman soldiers were carrying with them.
GenAI would either have destroyed them, or we'd all now be off conquering other planets and sticking victory arches all over the universe in the name of Rome.
or the entire planet would be speaking italian today. hard to say which, really
we'd all be watching arrabianime and reading mangiana
ok so apparently we're not in the absolute worst reality
Potato patata
Who says we aren't heading that way now.
that's what all the naked statues were for tho
Nobody these days has the energy to goon throughout the entire carving process of a statue and I think that’s sad
truly despicable
And all the paintings and pots and lamps. Whole range of options for all budgets.
Sulla and Marius would have loved yaoi manga
this post isn't "cooking", it's descending from up on high with a bottle of ambrosia and smashing it on the ground like an ill-obtained 40
Is this what people mean when they say something is Kafkaesque?
KETAMINE KING
It’s the kind of porn Blade Runner would use.
He's like a deranged adolescent running his own video game from his mother's basement. this is not a functioning adult.
I know what he should do next
The noble Brutus hath told you Caesar was not based…
dank tho
stable, rational societies used to put you out on an ice floe for this kind of thing
I wish we COULD forget about him
Don't worry. History will forget him.
Build a pyre on that ice flow and I'll bring cold beer.
*floe, you fucking imbecilic, automated grammer nun.
George HW Bush got laughed out of a presidential election for being overawed by a supermarket checkout scanner and Elon is basically doing that while beating off
Yeah aren’t these guys weeaboos for being Aryan what happened to that Norse thing where you throw guys like this off a cliff
I realize this only provides support for your theory of Roman behavior
“revealing tribal-style leather getup” This is such a wretched phrase.
he's always saying "wow" to everything, I think he's constantly having his mind blown by the simplest dumbest shit, you could show that mf a rotating sandwich and he'd be like "wow huh huh (butthead laugh) computer is amazing"
yeah. you should at least have to manipulate some sliders or something
Paying $3.99 a month to have my Grok waifu digitally fart on me
They're all so weird "Peter Thiel Is Very, Very Interested in Young People's Blood "What’s the Deal with Peter Thiel, ‘Silicon Valley,’ and Blood Boys? "Ambrosia: the startup harvesting the blood of the young "Paying Thousands of Dollars for Teen Blood "Young Blood Transfusions Don’t Cure Aging
Stanford VCs like Peter Thiel and Keith Rabois "Rabois came to Thiel's attention after he was found outside an instructor's home shouting homophobic slurs and the suggestion that the instructor "die of AIDS" A few went on to join PayPal a company Thiel co-founded" en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_R...
Peter Thiel is jst Jeffery Dahmer with money.
Something that has never occurred since time immemorial - a young AI woman did not fart on her husband's lap.
I understood that reference and I approve.
xAI's Memphis air pollution in a jar for $99 on X, the everything app.
This is why they sent Napoleon to that island
think of how fast Caligula woulda flamed out if he’d had a smartphone
I'm not saying you wouldn't see me accumulate ALL the cartoon porn if I had Musk's wealth but it would be, like, from artists instead of AI slop.
(Well, if I had Musk's wealth I'd give most of it away as soon as I could figure out the best way to do it, but what was left over would still be enough for Strategic Oil Reserve levels of furry art)
Elon Musk has been like this all along. He isn't doing the buying elections thing and having his hands in our government now so it's more obvious plus he is getting more bold. He actively targets some women and tries to get them to whatever. Have personally experienced this from him.
Caligula could only dream of such nonsense.
It's because he can no longer get hard due to his Special K addiction.
The richest men always were gooners like this. Elon is just mask off about that. Elon is really just mask off about everything tbh. Sometimes it's funny like this, other times it's just insufferable like the thai cave incident, and sometimes its worrying like the nazi salute.