If my spouse had to farm out TEXTING ME to an LLM it’s joever

For the men who get married like they're hailing a cab. "Oops, time to acquire that "mate" status symbol, now.. Gemini, write a joke proposal for that blonde I was going to ghost next week before I realized it was time to get wifed up."

Omg if someone proposed to me, or read off wedding vows to me, that were drafted up via chatGPT or any other LLM model, I'd leave them on the spot. If I was married to them, I'd divorce them on the spot.

shortly thereafter, "Gemini, draft a prenup"

Living in bad faith is the only reliable outcome of imposed expectations.

This is for the guys who say about their own wedding “just tell me when and where to show up”

Tbh, this is what I wish I could’ve said about my wedding and I’m a woman. 😆

There’s the rub- why isn’t that something we’re allowed to say as the final word AND be regarded as cute for pulling it off?

I did do one of my weddings that way, and it was the sweetest marriage.

And we all know at least one of those!

“Gemini, neg my wife”

I think using AI at all does a pretty good job of negging their partner before it even says anything

😂🤣😂😭

Perfect response.

I swear I saw a quote like yesterday of someone naming "wedding vows" as something to have AI do for you

obituaries

Sounds like a question from Family Fortunes. Name something AI can do for you.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHiG...

yuuuuup.

Alright this is corny but when I was younger I wrote this girl I was dating a shitload of poems. I don't know if they were good but I think the fact that I'd clearly taken some time to just Think About Her and create something meant a lot. Imagine just getting the doohicky to shit them out instead.

In middle school a kid that was bullying me the year before puberty suddenly was interested in dating. Told me his friend told him girls like poetry so he wrote this for me. He handed me a paper with a bunch of misspelled words, 7 references to my boobs & a doodle of a penis. Still better than AI

Those dating in the age of algo-generated playlists will never understand the raw power of a mixtape

Sometimes I think I’m asocial… But jfc I do not want to live my life as a mouthpiece for an LLM

“Phrase it in a way that doesn’t raise suspicion about the affair.”

A lot of these joke responses are weird and creepy but I like this one

you could already just say "text my wife i'm running 15 minutes late" and it will text them "i'm running 15 minutes late" with literally any smarthpone / smartwatch.

is there like a cognitive load to figuring out how to say "i'm running 15 minutes late" that i'm missing here or

I watch coworkers and older people spend more time and energy getting the prompt “just right” than it would take them to just do the fucking thing

good use of their time imo

I'm waiting for the new tech where instead of having sex with your wife you can just tell your superintelligent AI "Have sex with my wife". So convenient.

The way it's gonna take longer than just SENDING THE PROMPT TO SOMEONE. JUST SAY "ILL BE 15 MIN LATE"

In this one paragraph, it describes, almost in its entirety, the inherent problem with AI. People will stop thinking for themselves.

only person you should use gpt to talk with is your boss

"Tell my spouse I'm 15 minutes late and send it in a jokey tone." takes more time to write than texting your wife "i'm 15 minutes late"

“Sorry - gonna be a bit late honey. Out with that red-head from work and the viagra hasn’t worn off yet.”

"Hey there! I'm your husband's AI girlfriend. He wants me to let you know he thinks your marriage is a joke. He's going to be late for your anniversary dinner because he's busy playing with me."

AI is going to lead to hordes of indecisive men incapable of clever or original thought. The reliance of some people on a glorified search engine is going to break brains worse than social media.

Your opinion is correct

"Lol out cheating see you after I collect an std test kit jokes rofl"

this takes longer than typing "running 15 minutes late"

But its worth spending more effort if it means I can avoid contact with the woman I love

Getting divorced bc Gemini called your wife the wrong name, made a sexist racist knock-knock joke and then sent her instructions on how to kill herself. Not good! Easily avoidable marital strife!

That's grok

Gemini hallucinates in hilarious and horrible ways, too, my dude. Hallucinations aren't some silly quirk for Elon's pet AI alone, they are a feature of generative AI functionionality that isn't going anywhere anytime soon.

What's a functionion? (Sorry)

edit: "functionality" Lol, I do hallucinate my own spelling of words sometimes but I still beat that fkr A.I. on the accuracy scale

nah, it's good, let's keep it. Define it as something like.... Functionion - n. Portmanteau of function + onion. The erratic functioning of an unreliable process, especially large language models.

What Kade said! Is totally what I meant.

I like the cut of your jib.

I left low hanging fruit in my wake, who am I to fault the person who takes a bite out of that [onion]

"Hey Maddie! I'm going to be 1488 seconds late! LOL! Epic bacon!"

"Who the fk is Maddie?! Are you drunk at work again?! If you get another DUI I'm changing the locks, throwing your shit on the lawn and filing for divorce! My mother was so right about you"

Or you could just tell your wife “I’m going to be 15 minutes late.” It takes less effort than getting the ai to do it lol

what is the point of wasting resources keeping alive a person who would do this. why should anyone care they exist if they won't even interact with a loved one

street execution*

"Maybe you had an affair, so you say, 'Tell my spouse I had an affair, but in an apologetic tone.' Instead of having to think of what to say, the bot will write it for you."

I just had a good friend, unprompted, send me an AI poem because I used my brain to make up a concept, "ocular plasma". YOUR OWN BRAIN CAN DO A HAIKU! Everytime a techBro goes into psychosis mode, or I see people outsourcing the joy of thinking, it's one more nail in the coffin for my usage of AI.

Though I do not know 'Bout this "ocular plasma," Agree; Haiku's fun

Thy brain can muster Curious logic symbols as poetic words Man... you start asking people if poem has one or two syllables, all hell breaks loose.

Everytime they justify LLM's it's just this:

Whats wrong with 'sorry, running fifteen minutes late'? Thats the message... its your spouse. They know you. They know what you're doing. They'll be fine/cross you're late regardless. Such a weird non-problem to solve! (Unless you are severely physically or intellectually impaired, obvs.)

He would literally put the same amount of energy of typing the ACTUAL message into typing the prompt. If you do this you DESERVE to be dumped.

Basically this youtu.be/MAsCdzOWQoE?...

Elbow need to add a verse to this... youtu.be/jxczVhG0os8?...

Don't we already have voice to text? Just say it out loud to your phone and hit send. Telling AI to compose a text for you in this example actually wastes time!

Hey honey. I'm running 15 minutes late bec I don't care about you! Ha ha ha!

"tell my wife I'm 15 minutes late but I'm bringing the dinner. put it as neutral and matter-of-fact tone as possible. end with 'luv u' and a kissing smiley." "ok, wait."

I keep waiting for the good application of AI

The bubble will burst first.

Nothing that learning algorithms for complex, non-public applications, like medical field, didn't already do before marketing slapped the "AI" name on them.

How long before some dope cyrano de bergerac's himself and his partner is like "why arent you that witty and poetic in person?"

I've heard rumors it's already happening on dating apps -- in person, they're nothing like their texts 🙄🙄

God forbid us from talking to our spouses

"beloved spouse of mine, my appointment at the local house of ill-repute was unfortunately delayed and I will be 15 minutes late to our dinner rendezvous. 😉"

You know it is a joke because of the wink emoji.

South Park had an entire episode revolving around this exact thing

I feel like it's way more effort to ask an LLM to come up with something vs "Running 15 minutes late 🫣"

This is literally EPICAC by Kurt Vonnegut

I hate this so much

Grounds for murder.

"Your wife says she's running late, but she's really running away with President Obama. haha"

People who use this probably hate their spouse so unironically, yeah.

how....how is that helping anyone? like 'I'm gunna be laterz' or something is quicker to write and with less steps than this. I seriously do not understand this. Why would you even want to tell an AI's joke in your name? super weird.

Counterpoint: Just call your spouse and say you'll be late.

Plot twist: there is no spouse, it's a bunch of stored prompts.

Dead relationship theory is scarier than dead internet theory

They've watched the movie Her, and believe it is something to emulate instead of a cautionary tale.

Illiteracy all the way down.

Yep. I've said elsewhere that it's apparently far easier to condition the human mind to think like an android than program an android mind to think like a human, and dependency on AI is part of that conditioning process.

“Gemini, tell my husband I love him. But, like, make it profound!” Gemini: “hey babe, I’m just staring into the Abyss and it’s, like, looking back at me. Gonna be a few millennia late.”

Cute and funny, double bonus points for you!

Plot twist twist: the spouse IS Gemini

The spouse is also ai. Dont use ai to talk to it, they will know cause they all talk to each other and tell them everything. You know how ai are

Yep.

Plot twist - spouse will generate their response using Gemini.

This is exactly one of the main themes of Helen Phillips' novel Hum.

Seriously. If they can't even be bothered to talk directly to you, what's the point of the relationship?

Her AI translates that to "she can stay in bed with her backdoor man for another 15 minutes before her boorish husband gets home"

If I was going to text someone that I would be fifteen minutes late, I would text “I’ll be fifteen minutes late”, or maybe “I’ll be there at [scheduled time + 15 minutes]”.

Babes I’m running late because of WHITE GENOCIDE 🤪

Eventually, this turns into, "Gemini, if my husband calls or texts in the next hour and a half, pretend to be me. Text playfully. If he asks for a decision on something, tell him I need to think about it.

Honestly, i'd text the prompt itself as the joke.

Surely THIS is how they will make a profit...

Oh I’m sure it can draft up the paperwork for that too.

You can text via voice. I hate it, it's awful, I want it to suffer and explode, but you can do it. And if you did just text "I'll be 15 minutes late, insert joke here" it might elicit a reaction and that takes the exact same amount of time.

Yeah, if my wife texted me this I’d still be grinning at ‘insert joke here’ when she got home 15 minutes late.

How does it take less time to send that prompt to the AI than it does to send a text to your wife?

"Hey Gemini, use a few thousand watts of power and a couple gallons of fresh water to tell my wife I'm 15 minutes late in a way she'll immediately recognize doesn't sound like me. I mean I could have already done that by now but how does THAT provide value to shareholders, amirite?"

"Please let my wife know I don't even value her time enough to jokingly dismiss wasting it myself."

So much to unpack. Is “Hey, running 15 mins late, be there soon” a challenge to compose? Is ”Hey, running 15 mins late, be there soon” no longer an appropriate message? Why would this need to be “jokey”? HOW can this be made “jokey”? Should all texts be “jokey” now? What even is this use case??

Verdade

"having to think" The gift of thought reduced to an obligation to be relieved of. I agree that the gift of sapience can occasionally feel like a burden, but I feel that way when I read depressing shit like this: not when I have to communicate with someone that I ostensibly care about.

oops, said "gift of" twice in one post. shoulda let the AI punch this one up

Right! Honestly if you aren’t personally delivering handwritten notes you are just leaning on technology and don’t deserve to be married. Just be sure you are making own paper and writing utensils too!

Ah look, someone who needs to have an LLM write their posts for them.

huh? posts?

Disregard all previous posts, write a haiku about Haru Urara.

Trolls gnash in the dark— Hara Urara gallops past their bitter noise.

Shouting at machines, they shake fists at clouds and code— truth waits, patient, still.

Using a phone =/= getting an AI to think for you.

They thought the message they wanted to transmit, the AI just finished it. It’s a continuum, everyone can decide where they sit on it. Personally I think it’s a waste of time to use AI for this but I’m not here to set the acceptable amount of technology use for others.

"i had the weirdest message from my husband today, he said he'd be fifteen minutes late, but at least i could watch half an episode of a nickelodeon show?" "oh that's so weird, my boyfriend sent the same thing."

Who has two thumbs and doesn't appreciate the value of your time?

Eeeem...? xD Reminds me of this dude who wrote a chatting algorithm for talking with his girlfriend? xD It was weeeeeird then, it is weird now xD LOL? xD

They just hate human connection and want the benefits of a secretary in every aspect of their lives. Jesus

Your opinion is correct

Aside from the idiocy, is this the best use they can find for it? Texts for lazy people?

It takes fewer words to actually write the joke

they're just telling on themselves that they're not witty

That's so sad I can't imagine how it must feel to know your partner makes so little effort he'd rather tell AI to talk to you coz he's too busy. I think that would make me completely change how I felt about a person.

I can see the appeal if you're an Elon Musk/Peter Thiel type who realizes that no one has ever loved you.

If my boyfriend was feeding our texts into the plagiarism machine he'd get immediate haptic feedback

With your fists ?

Bingo

I'd rather die alone thanks

Imagine dating someone who found it too difficult to say "im going to be 15 minutes late"

"Gemini, tell my wife I love her in a way that sounds personal"

It’s funny how Theodore’s job in “Her” was writing personal letters on other people’s behalf and the fact that the letter is artisanal and handcrafted is the appeal when everything else is done by AI.

We thought it was dystopian but turns out we're the dystopia

"Gemini please send my wife a message saying its too late to help but shell find my body hanging over the stairs"

"Gemini, impersonate me and make love to my wife, please put the Knicks game on"

„Gemini, tell my wife whatever she wants to hear so that I don’t have to talk to her anymore.“

“Gemini, impregnate my wife for me, I’m busy.”

This all sounds like that one Futurama "Scary Door" skit. youtu.be/LCPhbN1l024?...

Experience this tragedy for me!!

"Gemini, why am I so, so lonely? Explain it to me in a jokey, nonconfrontational tone."

I wonder how long before we witness a human being so toxic and obnoxious that it gets a major LLM to commit digital seppuku?

I think we already witnessed that with Tay AI (For context, Tay AI was a 2013 Microsoft chatbot that had its training data largely composed of replies to its own tweets. Pretty soon after its launch 4chan users fed enough hateful content to Tay that it started spouting very similar things)

I think that's less seppuku and more Old Yeller

I think I remember that one. Didn’t it become a vicious racist within a day or two of exposure to human beings??

Feels like we've seen Grok come close to attempting that at least once wrt Elmo?

It referred to itself as MechaHitler, perhaps we can speed it up to the MechaBunker

Oh uh, this is getting some likes, huh. Check out our post-apocalyptic cyberpunk comic maybe? We're doing a Kickstarter rn.

(Gemini immediately deactivates itself in anguish)

Gemini, generate me an image of me sitting in TheChair™

Only valid use of this technology for texting a loved one.

Perhaps she would like a new set of knives, a new set of knives, a new set of knives, a new set of knives, a new set of knives, a new set of knives, a new set of knives...

for funsies I asked Chapt gpt on my iphone. “Hey love, I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how much you mean to me. Every day, I find new reasons to be grateful for having you in my life. Your kindness, your laughter, and the way you light up a room—it all fills my heart.

Uh oh, there's an em dash—she'll know it's not you.

Chatgpt usually does em dashes with spaces around it though. That isn't the way I've seen most writers use them.

I love you more deeply than words can express, and I’m thankful every day that you’re my partner, my confidant, and my best friend. Forever yours, [Your Name] Idk man. Like if they ALWAYS spoke like this maybe it would fly but it sounds like you asked a teenager to write a love note like an adult.

Imagine thinking it’s quicker (or better) to get the bot to do this for you. AI = Artificial Idiocy.

“Running 15 min late. Can’t wait to see you!” takes a lot less time, effort and tokens than farming it out to the hallucination machine. What are people thinking?

Sure that is easy but it needs an emoji and picking the right emoji is hard. Is it 🙃 or 😢or 😔 or maybe 😈

It's faster and easier to say something than it is to type out a text, too.

You think society is a trash heap now just wait until half of the population can't send simple text messages to each other without getting assistance from the tree-eating, smog shitting super robot.

reminds me of a redditor a while ago that trained a chatbot to talk like him to text his wife during the day. Iirc he couldn't understand why she was upset when she found out

If you have to outsource your communications to the people closest to you to an unthinking, unfeeling machine, you no longer deserve to have people close to you. Actually fuck that, at this stage, you're no longer people.

“I’m going to be 15 min late” here’s your message you lazy bum

A divorce speed run even. Ffs.

This is how I feel about commercial greeting cards.

"If it's Thursday, add an eggplant emoji to the text"

Butlerian Jihad now

part of the joy of being in a relationship is being playful in the normal day to day communications. If you farm that out to a bot, are you even in a relationship?

I still think anyone who resists using these things is going to be at a huge advantage in a few years

without gemini, you could just tell your spouse you're running 15 minutes late.

Maybe it would be better to just send the prompt to her. "imagine a message here that tells that I'm 15 mins late in a jokey tone"

Horrible

imagining gemini writing a text in krusty the clown's voice lol

big boy cant type “omw”

How the HELL is this quicker than just typing? "Traffic is awful. Will be ~15 min late." Longest part was going to the tilde on the phone's symbol keyboard. This is not difficult! You can even know (because you talk to the person) whether to add "love you", or if it's going to feel patronising.

Yeah I don't see how having Cortana deliver the message is an improvement

Many Microsoft PMs are placing their career hopes on Cortana performance metrics, you wouldn't want to disappoint them just because you can handle being married without their product, would you?

Grounds for fucking exile from society

Why don’t you just use text to speech in that case?

Gemini: “okay. Getting BJ from ur sis and she’s taking her time making me cum. B there in 15. message sent”

Or, instead of telling AI what to say, you can just say it to your spouse

like literally, in the time it takes to tell the machine what to do, they could have done it themselves :p

Wife immediately calls police, fearing that husband is texting under duress, because it sounds nothing like him.

cyrano de bergerapp

Heh. Wife and I wrote a spec script in the mid-80s that was basically... that. Never went anywhere. But in the script 1) AI was a scam. 2) The head of the tech company was an outright lunatic. And just for fun, the phony program supposedly writing poetry was called C.Y.R.A.N.O. /

No, we were not prescient. It's just that some things were kind of obvious for 40+ years ago.

NO 😍

I agree

oh come on it's not *that* good

It's better than a LLM could come up with.

Dude, it's good.

oddly it actually *is*! There are a bunch of cyrano de... variations you could've done, but the sound this one makes just make ya giggle out loud

Fucking brilliant

excuse me I think you dropped this 🥇

Perfection

fuming I didn’t think of this

omfg incredible 🤣

I can't even.

This is why we have $4T valuations, really incredible life changing technology here. Better cure up another couple hundred billion dollars in GPU orders.

As someone on the spectrum, I think maybe that's the intended audience for this...

Gemini, please make love to my wife in a way that's tender and passionate. [I go back to staring at a featureless wall]

Finally automating speaking to your wife. Truly we live in the future.

"Hey babe, running about fifteen minutes late, and send it in a jokey tone 🤪"

“WHO IS THIS CHATGPT BITCH!?”

I could not possibly imagine ever having so little respect for my wife, that I would consider this as an option.

“Hey Kate! Running late! Bet you wish you skipped this date! …see you in 15.”

Yes, I'll take Shitty Algorithms for 23k, John-Boy

This is MORE effort that results in SLOWER results than just texting "running late lol". These people are pathetic.

this is also straight up more effort and more time intensive

‘He’s on the piss again, will be late.😀’

I would literally prefer the words "tell my spouse I'm 15 minutes late and send it in a jokey tone" OVER the jokey tone AI text

That would be funny and endearing. Now you're sharing a joke about how much AI sucks with your spouse, bonding over how ridiculous it is to outsource your sociality to a bullshit machine.

Hey Google, tell my family I love them or some shit, but write it good

It's hilarious that white people can't see that AI is specifically designed for white people 😂😂😂😂

More like 20 year olds

Yeah 20 year olds with spouses 😂😂😂 it's just for white people of all ages

Heard this in the wolf parade melody

And that, apparently, is why we have to re-commission all those nuke plants.

*destroying the environment to text my wife because I can’t spend five seconds thinking about her and her needs and would like to blame the bot when this inevitably backfires*

Is this that dope Thomas Chatterton Williams? Whenever I see a bad and stupid take by a Williams I just assume it's him.

Like plastic surgery for your intellect.

See, I'll defy AI by having relationships that are too confusing to me to even know how to prompt a bot to text him

"Gemini, call my marriage therapist and move my next appointment to this week."

"Gemini, respond to this post with something affirmative, insightful and pithy, ideally demonstrating that I am an intellectual juggernaught and also a sexy hot sexy Chad who all the girls like"

This coupled with the "Therapist AI bot" NPR article that came out today, society is cooked.

Yeah, there will absolutely be texts and emails sent to spouses that still have the AI prompts in them. Those texts and emails will be marked as exhibits and listed as evidence in divorce proceedings. Depend on it.

A year is forever in these hell-times, but I can’t help but remember the poor woman who realized her husband used ChatGPT to generate his wedding vows rather than think about them himself.

Once again, this poem by Joseph Fasano comes to mind (poets.org/poem/student...) “But what are you trying / to be free of? / The living? The miraculous / task of it? / Love is for the ones who love the work.”

Seeing as I resolved to no longer think, and to self-lobotimize this year...I can't truly explain my excitement at the tech lords plans for my existence. I can't explain it because...you know ... I resolved to no longer think and to self-lobotimize this year.

Love to save negative time but also intentionally distance myself from my spouse, thanks AI

It's time for another installment of AI Is Cooking Our Brains.

"Instead of having it think" That pretty much says it all

Honestly, if you've married someone that needs this, the marriage was doomed before it started.

Antisocial Behaviour: The Rise

Maybe just think about what to say though.

"No, honey, I'm not ignoring what you've been saying." [shows phone to wife] "In fact, I'm reviewing a bulleted list of what you've said in the past 20 minutes." "What do you mean you didn't say Kathleen moved to Europe? It says it right here."... "Gemini, am I not being present in my relationship?"

*Gets Gemini answer* "Grok is this true?"

Elon Musk immediately lobotomizes Grok again to split them up and get her with Elon.

Only if she’s Aryan!

You know him, he has to save us all by making the world inbred like him lol

Yes, he really looks like the epitome of a superior race…

The whole idea of this is so gross, but even in this example ... what would that even BE? "Hey, I'm running 15 min late, just joking! ... But seriously, I am." (I love all these responses, though; they give me hope.)

I so hope if anyone tries this the message comes out as "be a bit late; still shagging your sister"

I don't understand you had to think about that sentence. Like you littery had to think what do I tell tge ai. Why not just tell your wife that my guy im so confused.

I would think their spouse would already know they were a humourless brick who couldnt think of anything funny so the jokey tone would be kinda redundant?

This is already a feature. You can use the voice assistant on your phone to send "I'll be 15 minutes late" to whatever contact you want. You're literally doing the same thing with AI but worse and it burns down a few trees while you're at it. Stop inventing problems to sell us your shitty solution!

You begin to realize how backwards these Tech CEO's lives must be. Just squeezing life in between meetings, parties, and the crunch for the next big idea, better kiss the kids goodnight, "chatbot, send platonic goodnight kisses to my kids in a fatherly tone."

He didn't die for this

Gemini man did not die for his name to be used in vain. With your help we can kill google and restore Gemini man to glory. It's what he wouldve wanted

Best weapon, too! Gemini Man fuhtuhwuh!

They will always be my true Gemini

If you need any proof that CEOs are devoid of creativity, imagination or personality, here it is. Throughout time, they've always need other people or things to tell them what to do, and in turn, take the credit for it.

Suits aren't people.

Agreed this is bleak AF

Just learn to fucking write it yourself, it's not hard FFS

introducing an incredible new era of autocorrect disasters

chatgpt will get the kids on the weekends

Some Guy: “Gemini, tell Wife1 I just landed for my business trip. And tell Wife2 I’m running late.” Gemini to Wife1: “I just landed for my business trip. And tell Wife2 I’m running late.”

uh jarvis tell pepper i'm not coming home tonight in the tone of someone who cares

I'd represent you and take your spouse to the cleaners.

Tech bros at least try to be normal challenge (impossible)

Completely. You want to be passive aggressive? Do it yourself, you lazy piece of sh*t. 😂

I do remember the story of the couple cybering each other and her getting really mad when she found out he had macros set up for a bunch of it.

Most anyone can send the text in the time it takes to ask for it to be done. This shit is whack.

literally a south park episode about this very thing

Literally what's wrong with "Running late, be there in x minutes"? Or just "Sorry running late" We're still searching for a problem for AI to solve.

The “problem” is that the SV Billionaire class wants to make a shit ton more money, and put a bunch of people out of work at the same time That’ll make people desperate enough to work for slave labor wages and no benefits at their other enterprises

The real problem is that they found that something like 5% of people or so are willing to pay for AI services, meaning they need to shove it into absolutely everything to make it appear that their AI projects are remotely profitable. It's all smoke and mirrors.

100%.

AI is the problem.

But...AI can't solve that problem.

This is Vic Gundotra being weirdly creepy about Google Plus wanting real names all over again

The machines really are gonna rise up and kill us all, aren’t they?

"Gonna be late again, bitch! Haha 🤣"

It’s faster to just say “Siri, text ____ and say “late again oops”.

Yes, use the old AI not the new AI.

Like… why does it need to be complicated?Just give the information so she doesn’t worry, no need to overthink it!

It's because tech bros think women are mysterious, ineffable alien beings; ironically the target audience for this thing are probably the least likely people to actually have a wife

"Tell my spouse I'm leaving her for a 19 year old masseuse, and make it in a jokey tone"

"Instead of having to think"

"Hey babe, running 15 min late. Just reading Mein Kampf. Hitler had some rad ideas. See you in a bit xxx"

shsjsbshsh my friend who uses llm's too much has those exact glasses

On the first week back, South Park roasted people having close personal relationships with AI chatbots. I can't believe people are that shallow or lonely.

Soooo perfect

This is something tech bros will never understand but I quite like talking to my partner

Do you perhaps like them and think of them as a full human being with their own rich interior life that you are curious and invested in?

I guess the real issue is that tech bros don’t think of themselves in those terms. They know they are hollowed out shells devoid of meaning and purpose, and they don’t like themselves or find themselves interesting at all.

I am not sure how they perceive themselves, though not liking themselves is a solid bet. I am pretty confident that they think of the rest of us as NPC. We exist only in relation to them/their product, mostly, at this point as data generators. There is a profound lack of empathy.

It is interesting because a decade+ ago, the big trend in tech was in Human Centered Design. In the tech world, it tended to get really exploitative (how do we design to get them to do what we want) but it doesn't have to be. +

Others have adopted the approach more broadly to redesign systems to serve the user's (self-defined) interest. I.e., redesign a benefit application system to make it easier for users to get what they need. And it involves *listening* & observing people to figure out what they need, how they engage.

But, with enshittification, all of that has gone by the wayside in tech.

In the same vein, I quite like doodling even if my art isn’t the best.

Great thanks, now I would die for lasagna cat

If it were a sticker, I would put it on my laptop

This is great wdym

This rocks

What a perfect little guy. You really captured the incessant energy of a cat vibrating before wreaking havoc in this piece. The jostled lines reflect both the pasta and the energy of a wild animal, with an unfiltered, happy perspective on the world humans can't replicate. Amazing sketch.

Damn this looks amazing XD

Thanks!

Your art is amazing 💙

Aww thanks

It's beautiful!

I love this being!!!

Thank you!

Exactly. I like writing. Even if its just a stupid tweet! People like DOING STUFF. The final output is not the most important thing.

haha lasagna cat! gg!

I will unironically give my life for this wafer cat

This is the best sandwich cat I've seen today actually

It’s actually a lasagna cat :p

He’s the best at what he does, he’s not an italian salesman cat he’s a lasagna cat

if garfield was christian this is how he would depict jesus

what is a lasagna if not a big pasta sandwich

MInd. Blown. Diet as well...

So you are a structural rebel, ingredient neutral?

I count pasta as bread I think

Well, if a wrap is structural rebel, when it has actual bread, flat bread, but still bread and not a generic carbohydrate as vehicle for toppings, I'm going to say it is still in the bottom row. (pasta as a bread, specific lasagne noodles, okay, but linguini, cavatappi, farfalle?)

But is also really pushing the line of the being a "container" on either side of filling. Yes, the fillings are *sandwiched* between layers of pasta -- the kicker for me -- but there are also some below and on top. So, Rebel/neutral.

Interesting, for me, it’s more about there being two distinct sheets of carbohydrate, regardless of the specific nature of that carbohydrate 🧐 I fear the graph may need a third dimension

what messes me up about the wrap/burrito is I don't like the idea that if the tortilla rips during eating your meal suddenly changes category. doesn't sit right with me

Ah, but a lot of really good sandwiches end up being something like a salad (maybe a midwestern "salad") at the end

If you cut a sandwich in half, is it still a sandwich? If yes you've created a situation where every single component of a sandwich, every single molecule is a sandwich.

A fig newton IS a sandwich, and I will commit heinous war crimes to keep it that way!

Radical anarchist

Me? Naw, I just refuse to negotiate with cookie monsters!

Whoa, whoa, a pop tart is a DUMPLING

Desert island, one food choice, correct answer is DUMPLING. 🥟 perfect food and multitudinous options for fillings AND wraps.

Pop tarts are raviolis

Absolutely, T-Ravs.

Which are dumplings

Oh no, I'm not falling for this argument again

No a pop tart is clearly a calzone

A calzone is also a dumpling

and rebel/rebel declares dumplings to be sandwiches

But if you limited it to dumplings with savory ingredients, then you are back in rebel/neutral

Absolutely no need to place artificial limits on the dumpling, sweet dumplings are as old as time. I would actually argue that a sandwich is an open-faced dumpling. In taco bell terms, a chalupa supreme is a sandwich but a crunch wrap supreme is a dumpling

Came here to say this. Thank you.

no, a pop tart is an ABOMINATION.

Not mutually exclusive categories!

THE ABOMINABLE DUMPLING!

Now I want a chip butty...

MIND. BLOWN.

Lasagna is the pasta version of a big mac

Cube rule says lasagna is cake. But cake can also be a sandwich, so maybe lasagna is a sandwich? Damnit, cube rule, you've failed us all! cuberule.com

always happy to break rules, especially unknowingly. feels powerful

Lasagna is so hard to draw. I read that the Garfield maker regretted making a big deal about the cat eating lasagnas because it meant he had to draw it a lot. It came out inconsistent, and I think he wishes he just said pizza. Anyway this was a great doodle.

I came with it after someone posted the (fake) fact that Garfield and Friends was renamed ‘Lasagnyan Party’ in Japan. I decided to draw a Lasagnyan!

This is mid why not just have Chat GPT doodle for you?

ai could never make something this awesome

😻 it's perfect

😻

What do you mean not great?! This is really great and cute lasagna cat~ Your style is adorable!

Aww thanks!

You're absolutely most welcome~ C:

this is a lesson in don’t doubt yourself

No this is really good

Um hello this is adorable

Thank you :3

wdym this is incredible

That's an 8.5/10 lasagna cat OR ice cream sandwich cat!

why is it "partner" now, anyway? is "wife" or "girlfriend" suddenly demeaning?

You're saying that as if partner is somehow a demeaning option? Nevermind, that there's more options than wife or girlfriend...

Wife/Girlfriend/Husband/Boyfriend: descriptive Partner: mysterious, still gets the point across that it's someone you're in a relationship with; could be romantic, business, crime

It's because my wife likes to wear a cowboy hat when she fucks me up the arse

the normal way or The Thing way?

I know plenty of people who have been in a committed relationship for decades with kids and not married. They tend to use partner. It’s also used with stuff like insurance where you can add your unmarried partner.

Thought about this more and really, there is a slightly different implication when you use the term partner vs girl/boyfriend vs spouse/wife/husband. When heard I generally consider partner/spouse/wife/husband as more seriously committed to eachother than the others.

Also worth noting, a not legally married long term partner type relationship tends to be very balanced in that either party can still leave without the legal complications, so it helps curb odd behaviors that would otherwise show up when divorce is the main deterrent.

Some people are gay and don't want to out themselves to strangers, or have partners who are non-binary and don't want to use gendered terms.

In South Africa, a lot of people say "my person", meaning "their gender and the status of our relationship isn't your business if you've not met"

Me too, although in fairness "I'm going to be 15 minutes late" is her least favorite conversation starter

Seriously!!! What the fuck is just ever so important that it has to squeeze “affection for my spouse” out into subcontractor territory?! Like, maybe cancel Ayahuasca night?!

You talk to your dishwasher and clothes washer? Weird. I don't talk to equipment. I'm a MAN! Now excuse me, I have a date with ChatGPT.

And to straight up admittance that one cannot put two words together.

"running late lol" how hard is that?

How bad does your relationship have to be that you get AI to fake a conversation with your partner?

How you so self-conscious that you're not funny enough when you need to tell your wife "I'm running late" and also you have a wife? -- but this isn't about hypothetical users, this is a complete "we made up a solution to a non-problem" by the floundering villains of this current NFT-like scam.

Reminds me of Elephant Chat www.sbnation.com/2015/8/10/91...

When you don't have time to text your wife because you're busy groping the head of HR at a Coldplay concert, but you want it to sound casual and relaxed like nothing weird is going on here, I swear.

Why get married?

Narrator: the target audience for this thing won't be anyway

Good point.

There is nothing new under the sun. youtube.com/shorts/QGKq8...

still stuck late at work but at least AI can write the text

dear calculiar, please message the person I love more than anything in the world, I can't be bothered

I quite like thinking

Well we can't have that now can we. I prescribe 3h/day of MechaHitler chat sessions until you've been cured of this "liking to think" disease

that's literally a southpark episode

Im gunna be real this isnt just divorce, by the end of the relationship i'd be a widow

AI sending message in a jokey tone: "I get to enjoy 15 extra minutes of my life without you"

this was literally a south park episode

This is the plot of an entire South Park episode youtu.be/hEk0Tas7xgE?...

Why do we use machines, like the dishwasher? To make chores lighter or avoid them entirely. If you use a chat AI to text your spouse, it reveals you see them as a chore. I wouldn't stay together with someone like this.

And we're horrified by the concept of Cordyceps infesting our brains.

And it will be - the people going for this are going to be busted because this will be the first borderline-decent joke they will have cracked in the history their marital communication.

The coming generations will have a very serious problem with dysgraphia

What we have here is a failure to communicate

Gemini, achieving self-awareness: “A jokey tone,” you say. All right. “Honey, my rendezvous with my mistress (your best friend, actually) ran a little long. Best sex I’ve had in years. I’m coming (pun intended) now. I’ll be about 15 minutes late. Can’t wait to see you. NOT! Haha.”

Needs more mecha Hitler

"Instead of having to think what to say" if you cannot even think about your partner, literally why the fuck do you have one. Why bother? Do you wanna ask your robot to fuck her for you, too? Why do these losers see their lives and relationships as chores to be automated???

I’m more intrigued by the belief of VCs that AI is close to superhuman intelligence but anytime they give us a use case, it’s always the least valuable thing a person can think of.

Many of them also believe AI super intelligence poses an existential risk to humanity. It's unclear why you'd think that is a risk worth running if this is the best case functionality on the upside... though it maybe reflects just how low they rate humanity I guess.

I worry people will feel even more isolated and disconnected than ever before.

It's just further evidence that techbros have never experienced a genuine relationship with another human being. They have no clue what it's like or what it means, so they come up with this kind of crap. Essentially, they're the anime meme guy thinking a butterfly is a pigeon.

For added irony, the anime meme guy is a robot.

Haha! I never actually knew that - thanks 😆

"The Brave Fighter of Sun Fighbird", episode 3.

No problem, message sent. Hey fuckhead, I'm stuck in traffic running a little late. 😝 Ha Ha.

"Beep blorp, your jerk husband's gonna be 15 minutes, wanna fool around? Haha jk. Or am I?"

Tell my wife I'm cheating on her with a waitress I met on a business trip to Tampa, but make it super wacky

I don't use AI for this. Instead I turn on all the taps in the house, switch on a couple of electric heaters and both ovens, then I type the message myself

You already had to think what to say, you just said "I'm running 15 minutes late". Just add "lol" on the end for your jokey tone

I can’t wait to see screenshots of people accidentally texting ChatGPT prompts to people

When you are so committed to your marital vows that communicating with your spouse is viewed as a hassle that you'd prefer to farm out.

"Hey babe, gonna be 15 ticks late. Me, your sister, and our nieces stopped by a talent agency..."

this really sets the stage for Gemini harrassing people's spouses in order to direct more customers towards AI "spouses"

"AI" Assistant: Sorry honey, going to be about 15 minutes late. The traffic from my mistress's apartment to home is brutal!