Not a good day. Trying to help the old man with his dementia is challenging. He used to be very organised but now all the letters go into draws, boxes, stacked up on any flat surface and forgotten about... and he won't let anybody help. Now he's missed something important and it has consequences.
Hope he’s been diagnosed. My mother refused to go to the doctor and was never diagnosed (too late before we asked), so never really got help she needed.
Yes, he was diagnosed last year.
:( I'm sorry
Thanks.
It’s so hard. Good luck.
Thanks
Oh, blimey. Sorry to hear this Sam. It sounds a bit impossible if he won't accept help. Passing tea your way.
Thanks. I'm working on it. Every time i talk to them i try to convince them that they need more help.
It’s horrible, saw my Dad suffer, but he had Mum, who looked after him. But a colleague’s dad was on his own, had been a very senior manager, tragic.
Sorry to hear that Bob. It's a horrible disease.... to see the person you love changing is heartbreaking.
It’s awful during those phases of chaos, Sam. My sympathies
Thanks. I've got about half of the paperwork switched over to emails (that i can access and manage), but a lot of stuff still goes by post. I don't see any easy solution here. One step at a time though.
Mail diversion? Or a PO box?
Paperless, and then we'll see about the rest.
The inevitable “do you have a Lasting Power of Attorney” (of either kind) for him?
yep, that's all been done, but we're not at that stage yet, and there's a lot of practical and emotional stuff to consider.
Of course (been there, still doing it)
Sorry to hear that. *hugs*.
Yep, power of attorney is useful. Finally got my brother to agree to it for my mother - he's her full-time carer, she's bedbound and doesnt think about much after dad died 3 years ago. Only took me three years of nagging him (older sister here, still bossing him about).
I've been trying for years to explain to mother that L.P.A.'s R important but she won't have it and as an only child of an only child I live in dread of the day that I need it and haven't got it, especially the health and welfare one😢
You would be her “best interests advocate” in that case
Understand completely. We tried for years before they eventually accepted it. Biggest thing was convincing them they're not giving up control *at that point*...
We almost held off too long doing it. I'm glad we did it when we did. Sorry to hear about your mum.
They were married for 59 years, rarely apart. She's got a nice view, a dog to chat to, all year sunshine and enjoys a glass of wine every day. Her life could be a lot worse, but it could also be a lot better. I wish you courage and strength in your own struggles. Parents eh, who'd have them?
Thank you. It sounds like she is very comfortable.
🙋 😔
Heartbreaking, I do feel for you. If you do have power of attorney, can you redirect his post to you?
He's allowed me to manage his email, and we've switched as much as possible over to email. Still working on the rest, but we're getting there. POA is a big step and we're not there yet.
So sorry. It's such a difficult time.
On the bright side, if he's not dealing with mail he won't have fallen for the scammers my father in law fell for. You've won a prize, just send 10 pounds etc. Alerted to it by the postman (illegally). Had the talk then following day "I've won a BMW!" He couldn't drive anyway.
That's very true. He doesn't use the computer anymore at all now, so we only need the big sign telling him not to give his info out to anybody next to the phone now.
Thanks.
It's one of the most difficult things we ever have to deal with
You too? Sorry to hear that. It's absolutely heart breaking.
Was some time ago now for me
Oh, Sam, it's such a worry. I know that feeling well. Like you, LPOA is ready but not activated yet. Some days they're fine, others it's chaos and they aren't interested. I hope you can mitigate any issues. So stressful for you. 🫂
One day at a time. One problem after another. Try not to feel overwhelmed.
Absolutely. I hope you have some support from family.
Sorry to hear this Sam. We have been there too. Very difficult. My MIL had Alzheimers and my FIL had liver disease at the same time. The liver disease gives the same symptoms as dementia in its final stages. Problem was it both at the same time. Power of attorney helps greatly. 🥲
Sorry to hear that Kate. Mum has her issues too, and can't look after him on her own, but together, and with a little help, they're managing at the moment.
Take care of you as well as them. They will try to hide they are not coping, as they are frightened don’t want to lose their independence. 🥲
yep, they do already.
Sorry to hear this but thank you for trying to help.
That was the most difficult period of my life. I feel for you Sam!!!
Thanks Linda. We've just started this journey unfortunately. One day at a time.
Yes, and be sure to take care of yourself along the way.
*looks at the Whisky cabinet*... i'll be ok :)
😂 I partake on occasion. I hope you have others around to help and share the responsibility with.