And most importantly, when he found out she was to be his teacher, he did not whoop (because he is a teenager and far too dignified to do something so crass in front of his parents) but he was excited. It was so good to see him excited again.
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Kids are weird. I see plenty of the challenges I faced in him, and I want to give him all the solutions I have and all the lessons I learned, but in the grand scheme of things, it’s probably good that he’s more interested in working them out for himself than listening to an old man.
aug 30, 2025, 3:02 pm • 10 0 • view
So I do what I can for him without making it obvious. One conversation we had with each teacher was to make it clear that we are ready and willing to provide EXCESSIVE support if needed, but that we would do so out of sight of the kid, if only to avoid him refusing on principle.
aug 30, 2025, 3:05 pm • 4 0 • view
He sometimes talks to his friends from the old school, though not often because, surprise, they have no time. When they do talk, the spectre of AP tests and college admissions always looms large. I’d be lying if I said these conversations don’t make me worry we made a mistake
aug 30, 2025, 3:07 pm • 3 0 • view
What if all that horrible stress really WAS the right path? The future of work and education both look increasingly uncertain. Have we made his long term prospects worse? Should we have just tripled down on the rat race? Intellectually, I know we made the right call, but fear is a bastard.
aug 30, 2025, 3:10 pm • 4 0 • view
I give you a wry nod of empathy from the teaching side. I'm in a pretty academically intense school, and we try very hard to support kids where they're at, but sometimes I really do wonder if we're pushing too hard. For some kids we probably are! For some, maybe not enough. It's so hard to know.
aug 30, 2025, 3:12 pm • 1 0 • view
(Even looking back at my own adolescence, there were types of push I deeply resented at the time that actually I needed more of, and types I got too much of, and, well. Retrospect. It's so hard to know. Hell, I may still be wrong in my assessment.)
aug 30, 2025, 3:13 pm • 1 0 • view
Especially fear for your kid. Bad things happening to me? Cost of living. Bad things happening to my kid? Unacceptable. Bad things happening to my kid that are my fault? Apocalyptic.
aug 30, 2025, 3:11 pm • 8 1 • view
Thankfully, I get the benefit of watching this kind, smart, creative, thoughtful, delightfully weird, incredibly compassionate kid find his way in the world, and that’s solid recompense.
aug 30, 2025, 3:13 pm • 3 0 • view
So, we’ll figure out how to support his math, so long as he wants it. College courses, individual tutoring, something else - whatever it takes. I have no desire to PUSH him down this path, but I want to make sure he never looks back and thinks he could have done something, if only.
aug 30, 2025, 3:15 pm • 3 0 • view
I really wish our system were better set up for kids to take a year or two off for working a bunch of different entry level jobs before they do college. Yeah, it has its downsides, but it would reduce so much of that panicked "succeed now or you never will" feeling that high school gets.
aug 30, 2025, 3:18 pm • 2 0 • view
Yeah, we’ve already started laying groundwork to support that. I’d actually be all for it, but if he decides he’s EXCITED about a college, I suspect no force on earth could stop him.
aug 30, 2025, 3:23 pm • 1 0 • view
Anyway, I need to go get groceries. This morning had one of those rounds of “are we doing the right thing?”, and writing it all down was very helpful in reminding me that yes, yes we are.
aug 30, 2025, 3:17 pm • 13 0 • view
Thanks for this, btw. Going through some school stuff with the kids now too (ours are younger, tho) and this gave me the space in my brain to start examining it. I didn’t walk away with your confidence, but nevertheless it was good to dump it out of my brain
aug 30, 2025, 3:22 pm • 1 0 • view