The idea of networking genuinely makes me want to die. I get that it's kind of expected, especially in this job market. But I'm a social anxiety-ridden introvert. LinkedIn is the bane of my existence. The world favors extroverts, and you cannot convince me otherwise. 😭
Feel this in my soul, for sure.
Introvert here. Exactly
I hate networking..
Yup. The thoughts of events where I'll mostly be meeting people I don't know fills me with dread. The gregarious and loud get to the top far easier. An extremely extroverted narcissist is currently turning America into a neofascist state, or is at least being manipulated into doing so.
Knowing the right people opens a lot of doors for you, which is frustrating. You can do good work if given the chance, but if you're not a super charismatic social butterfly, that might not matter. And you're right. Being extroverted doesn't automatically make you a better worker, or person.
You know what, "social butterfly" is the exact thought I had about myself in the moment after like ten drinks at a wedding recently! If that's what it takes for me to be that, it's probably for the best that I'm not. Here's to all the introverts out there. May we find our peace.
I will simply die out of spite (exist making $20 at a time) rather than submit myself to this particular indignity.
I was once told during a performance review that I "don't talk enough during meetings." I immediately apologized and took full ownership for incorrectly assuming that the organization valued the quality of statements over their quantity. Always striving for diplomacy, I am.
A good response! I hope they handled it okay lol.
I feel this so much.
I like networking - but I guess it's cuz I don't HAVE TO DO IT + I only go to FUN events I'm not especially extroverted, but in a "happy hour" environment where I can carry a drink around and nod and smile and, occasionally, skake a hand, I do OK.
Full agreement.
It absolutely does. And even worse, it devalues introverts.
Yeppp. I understand the value of extroverts. They're charismatic, confident, persuasive. A lot of industries benefit quite a bit from an extrovert. But that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of things introverts can do just as well, if not better. We just do it quietly. And awkwardly. 🤷🏾♀️
Not even that. It is all about where you get energy from. Intros recharge from being alone while extros recharge from social engagement. Intros can be confident, charismatic, and persuasive as well. Preferring smaller more personal gatherings where you can focus more intimately is just a preference.
I get exhausted working in a cube farm with no privacy or quiet. Give me an office with a door and I do so much better. Problem is that corporate culture does nothing but move in the direction of dehumanization of its employees.
I've definitely seen charismatic introverts, but I always assume it comes easier to extroverts because that's literally where they feel most energized. They like it. I do not. I can do it. I think I can get my point across pretty well if I need to, but it's not something I particularly enjoy.
What about just doing full on job interviews as a form of networking? You meet people in your field and are expected to just talk about yourself the whole time!
Oh just look at the world they’ve built
I got rid of my LinkedIn because I only found it useful if you're in tech or communications, and even then it was hard to get any utility out of it. That aside I hate reaching out to references! At least one of mine is even deceased, or we left on bad terms, or the company doesn't exist anymore...
In person is better than LinkedIn but once when I got let go I had coffee dates with everyone I knew at that job and I didn't get a job from any of them, just a cold application. 😤 What do you wanna study in grad school?? 😃
In person definitely feels more organic. The thought of reaching out to someone after several years and being like, "Hey! Whatcha been up to? Remember me? Well, anyway, I know you haven't heard from me, but please do me this favor so I can go to grad school or get a job."
I'm looking at either data analytics or social science for grad school! Or maybe professional writing. My alma mater has a good professional writing program.
Ooh sounds like a good option! I could also see you doing counseling. I've considered grad school but have no idea what I'd focus on, thought of a MPP and an MFA. Grad school is a good choice when you've had resume gaps and need to pivot
I've considered doing a writing job again but it's been like 7 years since I last did it professionally so I'd defo need something like that. Stats are a good field for public sector work!
Your power as a writer never fades! I'm sure you'd still be excellent regardless of time passed.
Why thank you! My biggest problem is that you need recent clips to apply to writing jobs and all my samples are like 7 years old 😭 I probably should try freelancing again to see if I even want to do it. Most of the jobs have been taken by AI 😭
AI is making an already bad problem much worse. The job market is bad and I suspect it has been for a while, but it's so much worse when so many companies are implementing AI over hiring people. Even eliminating roles just to use crappy AI instead. It's bad out there.
I'm a bit of an awkward nugget, so I don't think I'd try counseling, but I like to think I'd be okay at it if I did pursue it. Exactly right. I had a one-year gap that's kicking my ass, and grad school would be a huge help in bridging the gap.
I had a great connection with several professors and my advisor. But it's been five years! I don't even know how many of them still work there after that long. I've also left places on bad terms, particularly when I had health issues a few years ago. Recent connections just don't exist for me. 🤷🏾♀️
Same. I’m in desperate need of a new contract or gig and it’s exhausting to gear up to do it. And LinkedIn is so manufactured for shiny happy people. Instead I have to post a picture of me in Greece is a relatable life lesson & career analogy. Ugh. I do a good job. Hire me.
Exactly. Hire me based on my experience, or don't. Don't make me go back to old connections and waste their time so they can provide a reference to prove my worth. I understand why it's a thing. It's good to have a professional who can vouch for your skills. But it's frustrating nonetheless.
I have had 5 employers in 26ish years. Every job I got to interviews because I knew someone. My field is smaller though so knowing someone that knows someone is almost given. That being said, LinkedIn is the place to go for announcing you got laid off. The trash content posts rot my soul. Mostly.
I like in person or Zoom coffee with peers or a mentor. Posts, message, or email are shallow communication at best. Video is better, but in person is best by a huge margin. Grow your network like growing a finicky cactus, nurture it but don’t touch it too much.
I sued my City over a development and WON. DeSantis took $100,000 from the developer & overturned my win. The developer labeled me “difficult” in every news article. So introverted AND “difficult” is hard to spin positively on LinkedIn. Old connections can’t compete with Google unfortunately.
Oh no, I'm sorry. That sounds horrible. It just adds a whole other layer of difficult on top of everything else.
Thank you for your kind words. I hope you find the best most awesome-est job ever! Here’s to good karma for good people.
Likewise! I hope you find the perfect job. Don't let that fucker developer deter you. A good job will come.
My employer encourages we build our “networks” which assumes that we have the spare time to gab with people we don’t work with. The only reason I know the people that I do is because I keep getting loaned out to other organizations. Being lent out is the best way to “build a network”, not BSing.
I also just don't like asking for things. Building rapport with someone solely to use them for personal/professional gain. I have to reach out to ex-employers and professors for references to apply to grad school, and the very thought of reaching out just to be like, "Hey, do me this favor"...Ugh.
Shit, I could have written this post. I'm about as socially awkward as they come, even for an engineer. I hate networking and self-promotion. So I did the smart thing and became a consultant. Re: references, I'm sure most folks in a position to help are more than happy to (can't speak for profs)
I’ve always kinda thought that the online mingling and networking was less stress, but you’ve made me rethink that. Have you considered using a headhunter? I once unexpectedly interfaced with one and it was a very positive experience. She helped me get a great job and it was closer to home.
I've considered it! But I always assumed they look for you and not the other way around. I've had recruiters reach out a few times, but not in a long time.
Quiet by Susan Cain is a great read or listen that proves your assertion. I hate networking as well.
I've heard good things about that book!
It's my introversion bible. I have the paperback and the audiobook.