avatar
Erik H. @bookwurmnerd.bsky.social

Then I think for the effect you wanted to achieve it does a good job. She isn't quite on the verge of panicking but she recognizes something is definitely wrong and is looking to all the things that could give her a hint as to why. If you want to add more suspense it can be tweaked later, for now

sep 22, 2025, 1:21 pm • 1 0

Replies

avatar
Erik H. @bookwurmnerd.bsky.social

it does the job you need it to bringing the intro to an end and galvanizing the MC into action.

sep 22, 2025, 1:21 pm • 1 0 • view