you know the only reasonable solution would be to go coolaid man on this place lol

Yeah this has massive “welp total loss sry” vibes in that scenario.

this house would absolutely end up as a swimming pool

I kind of feel like "immediately give up and go defensive" would be my default if I was brought to that house and I'm not even a firefighter. Fastest "Nope, this person is definitely going to kill me" exit I'd ever (try to) make.

surround & drown, literally

aight, shut it down, this shit needs to burn

Ax time.

Imagine you crawl or walk over that trapdoor area in a fire, it'd be scary as Fuck

Like a smoke and start hosing the thing down

i've led firefighter familiarization training at particle accelerators and while they are absolute labyrinths, at least they had preplans and signage lol

New York suppression would call this “collier’s mansion syndrome” for rich fucks.

the preplan for this would be longer than most factories’

I was thinking the only way to handle this is to give the local FD a complete floor plan.

It’s a private residence

No, I get that, I'm saying that like particle accelerators, hospitals, etc, the owner should give the FD a complete floor plan, cuz I'm all for doing whatever weird shit you want with your home, but if something happens, you want emergency services to be able to find you.

Just... Maybe make sure the cops don't get a copy.

Not to mention, not get trapped themselves!

If I owned it, you damn well better believe I would be giving the fire department all the info.

Now hear me out .

I will gladly donate so those people can have a great axe when the time comes

There's a place called the red lion inn a little way from me and the local fire companies do an all- hands refresher on the layout very often. The place is like a stack of load-bearing mudrooms and dormers at dutched angles.

Are you in Glendale 🤨

oh that one is red lion tavern great food, weird warren of levels

I stayed there once and being a bit tipsy navigating back to my room was. well. scary lol

The Red Lion Inns here burned down years ago. All 3 of em in fact. Years apart. The 4th one got torn down before it went up. Used to do conventions in em decades ago & their layouts were crazy. Huge, winding corridors and tiny access staff rooms, panels, & maintenance halls snaking all over

The one in the Berkshires??

I stayed in a pub in Exeter that was a bit like that. Originally built in the 1500s and then haphazardly extended for 500 years. Hardly any two rooms were at the same floor level

I hope this is because the first bits of it were built in 1153 or something, before they invented firefighting or the right angle, and it's just agglomerated since then.

My great grandmother invented the rhombus

Ah, Hortense Rhombus, very underappreciated figure

The power of nominative determinism

hello fellow “agglomerated” user. we are not legion!

If it's the place I'm thinking of it's like the 10th oldest hotel in the United States that still operates as a hotel

I'm like 99% sure you're talking about the same Red Lion Inn I'm thinking of, and yeah from what I've heard from musicians I know who've played dinner gigs there, it seems like bringing heavy equipment during a literal emergency would be a nightmare without training

Yeah that's the one. Stockbridge MA. That whole Main Street is as cute as a fuckin button and Alice's restaurant from the song is still open altho it's not called that, isn't it ever was. Nice stroll if you have an hour.

Yeah Stockbridge is absolutely adorable! I grew up/live an hour East of it and some of my favorite memories are of how picturesque it looks after a blanket of snow

Drove into there from New York to tick the state from my “driven in” list. It is a cute town and if I get back to the Hudson Valley I’ll make a side trip.

You can't swing an autumn weekend without hitting a small town that's cute as shit in western mass. I think that's the Berkshire tourism bureau's slogan. Hudson is where I spend more time. It's funky and cool if a little of-the-moment. Hope u first nd a good un!

There is a Red Lion in Silver Lake, Los Angeles that 100% fits this description. Must be a requirement of the name?

But can you get anything you want at the Silver Lake restaurant?

Yes*. (*As long as its German.)

Near Tanglewood?

When I was in the department in a small town in Alaska we would practice finding our way around large vessels below deck in full bunker while blindfolded. That was very hard. This would be harder.

I had a project working with a well-known Fire chief and he told me of the frequency in which firefighters would find themselves lost in walk-in closets. This was in response to someone’s proposal of GPS tracking prototypes for fire fighters.

Judging how well Apple’s “Find My” worked today when trying to find my wife in Costco, I can say that this is not a good idea.

This was in 2010 and I can assure you that he was very skeptical of any claim to accuracy.

That's one thing I always think about at large hospitals. Especially old ones that were built and rebuilt over time. Absolute mazes.

Void space death hell.

tbh if i had a house like that you betcha ass the local fireservices would have plans, the house would have a sprinkler system and electrical inspection every 2 years also money and cake for the local firefighters

More about this please

I would turn to my girlfriend and just say no.

Yeah, it's just gonna be axe holes all up and through that place. 🤷‍♀️